23. Timur
TIMUR
Kazimir walks into my study and closes the door behind him.
I called him twenty minutes ago but didn't say much, just enough that he knew to come.
Now he's standing in the doorway taking stock of me.
The bottle on the desk is missing a third of what it had when I opened it and I stand with my glass in my hand, staring out the window.
Every time I try to sit down, I get antsy and stand back up.
I can't believe she fucking lied to me.
He parks his happy ass in the chair across from my desk and asks, "Well, how bad is it?" If anyone can sympathize with me, it's him. He has more experience with a fucking traitor than I ever wanted to have. But here I am. And there he sits.
I set my glass on the desk. "She's not a Belova."
Kazimir sighs hard through his nose, like he wants to tell me, "I told you so," but doesn't have the fucking balls to do it. He knows I'd punch him and he knows if he struck back—which he would totally nail my ass to this floor—he'd hear about it from Roman.
"Who is she?" he asks, taking my whiskey glass and refilling it. He downs it, then fills it again and pushes it toward me. As if he needs the liquid courage as much as me.
"Mirov—Victor's niece."
I watch his eyes. They tell me everything. Though his lips purse and his chest shifts as he squares his shoulders. "Tell me everything."
So I do... I tell him about the photos from Marina and confronting Kira in the bedroom, about the lamp I smashed against the wall. I tell him how she admitted to being a Mirov, that she claimed she lied to survive, that she accused Morin of attacking her in her room.
Then I tell him about the bruise on her neck and how I don't know what to believe anymore because every word out of her mouth for three weeks has been a fabrication.
Kazimir listens to all of it without interrupting, but when I finish, he reaches across the desk and picks up the bottle and pours himself another glass, this one full to the brim, before handing me the bottle to sip from directly.
"You done?" he asks, gulping his drink.
"I don't know. Am I?" I flop into my chair and take a long drag from the bottle. The whiskey burns, but the way it settles me makes me able to relax ever so slightly.
He takes a sip and sets the glass down. "You remember what happened with Zora?"
"Yeah, who doesn't? But that's different."
"It's not that different. A woman came into our family under false pretenses and we didn't catch it until the damage was done.
I know what that feels like, Tim. I lived it.
I married it." His words feel like an insult.
I know he married the woman and everyone was against it entirely.
Sometimes, we still feel leery. Her brothers could try to manipulate her at any point and twist that knife again. They almost destroyed us.
"Tim, they're both just—"
"Kira was forced here against her will, buddy.
" He cocks his head, and I'm not following him.
He's been pushing me to confirm her identity for weeks now.
All of a sudden, he thinks I'm gonna do a 180 on who I am and go easy on her?
If it were me, when Zora pulled this shit, she'd have been ousted. But he protected her.
"That's my point." He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. "Kira didn't infiltrate us. Morin grabbed her off the street. What was she supposed to do? Announce herself as a Mirov and hope for the best?"
"She could have told me the truth after I showed her I wasn't going to hurt her.
" His insinuation that Kira's lies are understandable is an insult to every core belief I have.
I gave her an option. I never had any intention of hurting her, even if she was a Mirov from the beginning.
It would've been tricky, but we'd have figured it out.
"When? When exactly was she supposed to trust you enough to hand you the one piece of information that could get her killed?"
This time, the heavy swig of whiskey I take in doesn't calm me. I'm too angry. Too hurt. She was supposed to be a Belova, a woman I could be with—the woman I fell for.
"She had plenty of opportunities. We were talking every day. We were having dinner together. She was in my bed, Kaz." I huffed. "I had sex with her, more than once."
"She was surviving. That's what people do when they're trapped. They say whatever keeps them alive. You and I would do the same thing if someone had us locked in a house with no way out."
"I wasn't going to hurt her," I grumble, but now I’m not so sure. He's making too much sense when I want to stay pissed.
"She didn't know that, not at the beginning. And by the time she figured it out, the lie was so deep, she couldn't dig out of it without risking everything."
I push back from the desk and stand up, walking to the window again.
My reflection stares back at me in the glass, blurry and tired.
It doesn't matter what reason she had for lying.
The fact is she lied. I can't be in love with a Mirov...
And the greater truth, about Morin double-crossing us, well, I'm not sure how to even approach that.
If it's true, nothing in my life is the way I thought it was.
"None of this solves my problem," I say.
"Which problem?"
"All of them." I turn around and lean against the window frame.
"She's a Mirov, and Ro doesn’t know it. And I’m fucking in love.
" I sigh and turn back toward him. "She's a liability.
Everything she knows about our operation, about our people, about me personally, is now sitting inside the head of a Mirov who has direct contact with Victor. "
"What exactly does she know?"
"My routines. My security layout. Morin and Dryden by name and by face.
She's been inside this house for three weeks, Kaz.
She knows where I sleep, where I work, what time I leave in the morning and what time I come home at night.
She knows about the fights, the bettors, the Mirov operation.
She knows enough to get me killed..." I bring the bottle to my lips and sip again, but it's not doing the trick anymore. This isn't what I want.
"Did she use any of it against you, though?" Why the hell is he suddenly being the voice of reason?
I open my mouth and close it. "She called Victor." But she swore she only asked how her family was doing. And I know if he knew where she was right now, he'd be here. He would've been here in seconds, not hours, which is what has passed.
"Okay, so we have some issues to work out..."
"Kaz, why the fuck are you trying to defend her?" I stomp over and slam the bottle down, but he shakes his head as he stands. Then he slaps my shoulder and gives it a squeeze.
"I'm not defending her. I'm calming you.
" When he gives me a playful shove, I know he really is trying to be the voice of reason.
"She's trouble. I know that. Ro is gonna kill you and who knows what Victor will do?
But when you're emotional like that, you don't think straight.
You can't be angry and make good choices.
Your reasoning is rooted in your Zen, buddy. "
"Fuck you," I hiss when he makes a stupid gesture with his hands, indicating he's meditating or something stupid. "But you're right."
Kazimir shrinks toward the door. "I suggest you have a serious talk with her while you're calm. Find out what she knows. Find out how you actually feel about her—because if I’m being honest, the past few weeks is the happiest I've ever seen you.
And then talk to Roman. He needs to know what's going on. "
I never got to the part about Morin, or Kira's accusations about how he's the one stirring up the strife to hide his own indiscretions, but Kaz isn't the one who can sort that out, anyway. It's me and Roman.
It still hurts that she didn't trust me to be honest, but Kaz is right. She was afraid, and she had no reason to trust her enemy not to hurt her. I never gave her the benefit of the doubt, and she never returned that courtesy to me, either.
"Kaz," I say when he gets to the door. He turns and looks up at me, yawning. "Thank you."
"Call Ro," he grumbles as he walks out.
I have half a mind to march back up to her room and lecture her again, but Kazimir is right. I have to wait until I'm totally calm. I'll sleep on it and maybe talk to her tomorrow. But first I need to talk to Roman.
He needs to know the shit just hit the fan.