3. Fiona
Chapter Three
FIONA
There is a comforting sort of finality in death.
I felt it during my sister’s funeral.
Maybe that’s because I knew it was goodbye. It made it easier to let her go.
But this? Not knowing if Scout is alive or dead hurts ten times worse.
My brain is running a million miles a second, coming up with every possible scenario that could be happening to him right now, each one more gruesome than the last because I know enough about the Sullivans’ world to understand that being a child won’t spare you from the horror.
Even if Cormac does manage to bring Scout back, there’s no guarantee that he’s going to be the same happy-go-lucky kid that he was before.
“Oh god.” I clamp a hand over my mouth as I think of his sweet, smiling face.
I suddenly think of Lorcan and the threat he made against my niece, and my blood turns cold.
He’s the sort of sadistic bastard who would do something like this.
I lean against the kitchen counter, clutching a cold cup of coffee, trying my best to remember how to breathe. I hate how useless I feel, standing around doing nothing while Cormac and his brothers are working day and night trying to find Scout.
There must be something I can do to help.
Should I try to contact him? I might be able to use the information I found on the laptop as some sort of bargaining chip.
It would be risky… If anyone overheard me, especially Cormac, I might as well carve my name into a bullet.
But maybe if he sees what I’m willing to risk in order to help bring Scout back, he can finally start to forgive me.
I stare down at my half-empty mug, going back and forth on what to do because anything is better than this endless waiting.
The only problem is, if I reach out to Lorcan and I’m wrong about his involvement, I would be freely handing over information to Lorcan that he could use against Cormac—
“Can we get you anything?”
I jump at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. I look up to see two young maids, not much younger than me, hovering near the door, carrying baskets of dirty laundry. I don’t recognize them, but then again, the Sullivans have a never-ending rotation of staff.
It’s likely Ronan brought them in to help out while we all focus on bringing Scout home.
My throat is too thick to speak, so I settle for shaking my head.
They both offer me sympathetic smiles, which only makes me feel worse, before they disappear into the laundry room.
For a moment, I listen to the muffled sound of their voices, grateful to have something to focus on other than my own thoughts. That is, until I hear them mention Scout.
“It’s so sad what happened to that little boy…”
I freeze.
Do they know something?
My pulse spikes as I creep a little closer, straining to hear their conversation.
I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop. I should have learned that lesson after I overheard Cormac and his brothers talking about having a spy in their inner circle.
But as of right now, these two gossiping maids are my only source of information, seeing as Cormac isn’t bothering to give me any updates.
It’s like he thinks I never cared about Scout at all. At this point, it’s been over twelve hours, so any news is good news.
“Is there any sign of him?” one of the girls asks.
The other maid replies, “No, but apparently, they’ve tracked down the person who took him.”
My coffee cup almost slips out of my hand.
They have?
The first maid asks the question I’m most eager to ask. “Who?”
“I heard Ronan mention the name Adrian.”
I don’t know whether I feel relief at finally having some information or terror. I might not know much about Adrian Smirnov, but I do know that he’s been dealing with Lorcan for years. Maybe Lorcan is involved in this, after all…
The stakes only seem to be getting bigger. Even if Cormac can bring Scout home, it’s not going to be an easy fight.
I don’t want to listen anymore.
My stomach churns as I pad over to the kitchen table to take a seat because I don’t trust my legs not to give out on me.
I’m exhausted. I’m pretty sure no one in this house got any sleep last night, not even Aubrey or the twins, and I think it’s going to be a while until we do.
I tried to lie down on the couch for a few minutes, but every time I closed my eyes, images of Scout being tortured flashed behind them, and I woke in a cold sweat.
I’m at the point where I might just call Lorcan and demand that he take me instead, though I doubt I’ll be of much value to this Adrian guy.
Still, anything is better than sitting around in this enormous house with maids and a never-ending supply of food, ruminating over whether Scout is even still alive…
My cheeks feel raw from crying, but I can’t seem to stop. It doesn’t help that being around Riley, Ciara, and the kids only makes me feel worse. Any single one of them could have been hurt tonight too, and that realization has me running to the sink and throwing up.
“Fiona?”
I silently curse at the sound of Riley’s voice. I don’t want her to see me like this.
“I—I’m fine.” I quickly wipe my cheeks, though I sound anything but fine.
Riley slides into the seat beside me and places a comforting hand on my arm. “Don’t hide out here on your own.”
I wipe my sleeve over my cheeks. “I…don’t want to scare the babies… you know, with all the crying.”
“They can have a taste of their own medicine,” Riley jokes, but the smile she gives me is forced. “Plus, Ciara and I are outnumbered without you. I swear these kids are multiplying—”
Tears well in her eyes as she no doubt thinks of Scout.
“He’s going to be fine,” I assure her.
“How can you be so sure?” she whispers.
“Because this is Cormac we’re talking about. He will go to the ends of the earth for his family, and so will Kieran and Ronan.”
Riley’s throat bobs.
She pushes her auburn hair out of her face. “Urgh, these stupid hormones have me crying nonstop.”
“At least you have the excuse that you just pushed out a baby.”
“This is true.”
“Do you want me to take the next shift so you can try and get some sleep?”
“Kieran is putting her down for a nap.”
“I’m surprised Ronan is letting him come up for air.”
“He has no choice. It’s good for him to step away and regain some perspective. He has a tendency to be…a little hot-headed. Anyway, I just wanted to come and see if you were all right.”
“You’re sweet for checking in, but really, I’m good. I just needed a minute alone.”
Riley gives me a sympathetic look. “I know the feeling. Well, you know where to find us. Just follow the sound of the screaming babies.”
I force a smile, but the moment Riley is gone, it drops.
The maids soon appear again and start flitting around the kitchen, tidying up dishes and the endless coffee cups that Ciara and I have gone through in the past few hours.
I half-listen to their chatter, but mostly I stare into space, thinking about Cormac.
On one hand, I’m relieved that Cormac has figured out who took Scout, but I can’t help but feel hurt that he didn’t tell me himself. I know I have no right to feel anything, considering the depth of my betrayal, but sometimes, feelings aren’t rational.
I’ve been just as worried about Scout as anyone else in this family.
Surely, Cormac must realize that? Then again, how would he know how I was feeling when he hasn’t spoken to me at all since I tried to talk to him in his office?
All I can do is hope that once Scout is safely back at home, Cormac will calm down enough to listen to my side of the story.
When my mug is finally empty, I get to my feet and walk over to the sink to wash it up.
“I can do that,” one of the maids offers.
“That’s all right. This is about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.”
“Is the boy…all right?” she asks, tentatively.
I go to reply, but then I catch sight of someone out of the corner of my eye and stop. I look over to see Cormac standing in the doorway, his expression murderous.
“I don’t pay you to stand around and gossip about my personal business!”
Both of the girls jump.
“Cormac—”
“You’re both fired, so get the hell out!” He glares at the girls until they get the hint and scramble out of the kitchen, the pair of them looking on the verge of tears.
I stare at him in disbelief. “Was that really necessary?”
Only then does Cormac look at me, but his deep brown eyes are completely void of warmth.
For a second, I stare at him, feeling like I did when I first walked into his office at Sullivan Investments all those weeks ago.
This version of Cormac was easier to hate back then. But now I know the person beneath this armor, all I feel is a gut-wrenching ache.
“They were just worried about Scout—”
His eyes flash with rage. “Actions have consequences, Fiona. You of all people should know that.”
I gape at him as he storms out of the kitchen without another word because apparently, that’s what we do now. We hurl insults and then give each other the silent treatment.
I wish I didn’t care, but in reality, it’s killing me.
“Can’t you just rip into me too?” I yell after him.
Though the second the words leave my mouth, I regret them.
Cormac’s footsteps halt, and the next second, he’s storming back into the kitchen with a face like thunder. He doesn’t stop until he’s a foot away from me, his eyes trained on my face as he towers over me.
I can practically see his body shaking from anger.
I guess people aren’t joking when they say be careful what you wish for.
He growls, “what did you just say?”
I force myself not to cower under the weight of his stare.
Even when we first met and couldn’t stand one another, he never looked at me like this.
I fight the urge to reach out and touch him. “Can we please just talk?”
“Quite frankly, Fiona, your feelings are not high on my priority list right now.”
“And I’m not asking for them to be.” I’m growing tired of him jumping to conclusions every time I open my mouth. “I just don’t want to be iced out. Hey—!”
Cormac grabs me by the arm, his fingers digging into my skin hard enough to leave a bruise. “Come with me.”
I struggle to keep up with his long strides. “Not like I have much of a choice. Cormac, you’re hurting me!”
But Cormac acts like he doesn’t hear me. If anything, I swear he tightens his grip as he starts dragging me up the stairs like a ragdoll.
I try to pull myself free. “You’re acting crazy, you know that? Where are you taking me?”
“To your room.”
“My room?”
He says nothing until we reach the door. “You’ll stay in here until I find Scout.”
I scoff. “You can’t be serious?”
He throws open the door and forces me inside. “Oh, I’m deadly serious. I can’t have you interfering with the rescue mission. God knows how many people you’re feeding our secrets to.”
“If this is about the maids? I told them nothing because you have done nothing but keep me in the dark!”
But Cormac isn’t listening. He slams the door shut, and the sound of the key turning in the lock has me shaking with anger.
“Cormac!” I yell, but it’s no use as his footsteps retreat down the stairs.
He’s actually locked me up. He thinks that I’m that much of a threat to his family that he doesn’t even trust me to be alone with them.
That realization hurts more than any words he could say.
I sink to the floor as I’m overcome with sobs, my body shaking as I lean against the door.
This is all my fault. How could I have been so stupid to mess up the one good thing in my life?
What’s worse is that I have no idea how to fix it.