Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
DECLAN
What are you thinking, Brat?
She’s just standing there across the parking lot, staring at me with the same curious expression that mirrors my own. Dressed for work, her bag is thrown over her shoulder. From here, I can hear the loud heavy metal music Ken blasts from within the shop as he fixes her car. I never had the chance to ask him what was wrong with it, so I wonder now if she will be able to drive it to work tonight.
Quickly, I run through the babysitting schedule in my mind to remember whose shift it is to watch her. Tanner’s turn . It’s sad, but I memorized the damn schedule months ago because I have this incessant need to know everything that involves her.
I spotted her the moment Rome pulled into the parking lot. As if I have a special radar just for her. The instant I realized she was nearby, all of my attention immediately shifted to her. It didn’t matter that Romeo and I had been in the middle of a discussion, planning a raid of the abandoned hotel where Matteo might be hiding. Nothing he could have said would've diverted my attention from the woman with sad eyes staring back at me.
Even as I stand here now, my mind roars at me to save face and run in the opposite direction. But something else within me tells me to stay exactly where I am. It feels like something important is happening that I don’t yet understand.
I fixate on her curvy form as I hear the passenger side window roll down. When we first pulled in, I told Rome to stay in the car. I’m still not quite ready for her to know I have an estranged twin brother. I’m honestly a little surprised he’s actually listening.
“Aren’t we past the point where you consider me a dirty little secret?” my brother asks from within the darkened interior of his Audi. His humdrum tone is so at odds with the intensity with which I watch Sofee.
I say nothing and continue to stare at the small female who has consumed every one of my thoughts for the last twelve hours. Each moment that’s ticked by before and after we shook down Jimmy, my mind has been fixated on my actions earlier this morning. The entire time we staked out the run-down hotel, I couldn't focus on anything other than the way she fell apart for me. And then that led to the pained lilt in her voice as she uttered my name like a broken plea when I abandoned her.
Even from here, I see the hurt still flashing in her eyes. I’ve seen her livid expression directed at me on more than one occasion, but this is different. This one has the power to knock me on my ass. Out of all the times I’ve argued with her, called her names, and pissed her off on purpose, I’ve never seen a sullen expression quite like this. And because I know I’m the one who put that look in her eyes, I force myself to watch her now. Some sick way I choose to punish myself by memorizing her face at this moment. It’s ironic. If some other man were the one to make her look so dejected, I’d have a hard time not slicing that fuckers throat. But seeing as I’m the one who put that downtrodden look in her eyes, I’m not sure how to handle it.
This is what I deserve. I deserve nothing less than that crushed look to be directed my way. So, I make myself stay put while she stares at her abuser.
“Can we move this along? I have other shit I need to attend to, and watching you pine over one insignificant little female is really quite depressing,” Rome says as he shuts the car off.
His words make me bristle and rip my gaze away from Sofee. I scowl down at my brother as he grins up at me, causing his swollen nose to pull tightly. We had a pretty good day together; it almost felt like old times. But his crass words directed at Sofee have my anger flaring enough to make me want to pull him from the vehicle and kick his ass again. Although, this time, I don’t know if I’d be so lucky.
I may have bested him the last time, but I know what it looks like when a man is pulling his punches. Rome knew exactly what he was doing last night. He’s the leader of his own empire, and you don’t get that position by failing to read people. He knew I was chomping at the bit to take my hunk of flesh, so he pushed me into the reaction he intended. He allowed me to hold the advantage over him. And if I tried again, I knew he would fight back for real this time. And my brother always did fight dirty.
I say nothing, but clench my jaw in a silent warning. He chuckles before releasing my gaze and looking back out the windshield.
But it doesn’t matter now, because when I look back up toward Sofee, she’s no longer standing in the parking lot. I shift my gaze from where she was as the music pumping from the garage is suddenly turned down.
She and Hayden stand at the hood of her car, looking down at the engine. I can’t hear any of the words being exchanged, but by the shake of my blond brother’s head, I can tell the outlook is bleak. Sofee rubs her fingers against her forehead as if a headache is forming behind her eyes.
It looks like she won’t be driving her car to work anytime soon, judging by the angry rise of her tightened shoulders and the general disdain radiating from her. And then it hits me.
She’s going to need a ride to work.
A wave of nervous energy punches me straight in the gut when I think about giving her another ride. But that wave is minuscule in comparison to the full-blown typhoon of rage that threatens to spew everywhere as I think about someone else doing it. The thought of her having that luscious body of hers pressed against anyone other than me has a sinister anger ravaging my body from the inside out.
I watch from afar as Hayden speaks words I can’t hear and then leads her over to the row of bikes where his is parked among the extras. The metallic canary yellow Sportster stands out like a sore thumb among the other darker ones. I gnash my teeth so hard they groan under the assault. Red rims my vision as he points to his bike as if offering her a ride.
Clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides, I start walking toward the shop. My feet move of their own accord, as if I never had a shot at halting them. My heart jumps from my chest up to my throat as I watch the two speaking.
If she thinks for one fucking second that I’m going to let her ride on the back of that motorcycle, she has another thing coming.
There is no way in hell I’ll be able to watch her hug Ken around his waist with her tits against his back as he leaves with her. The only person who will feel her small, tight grip and curious, dancing fingers will be me. Damn the consequences.
I’m about halfway to the shop when the roar of a motor draws me out of my blinding thoughts of delicate fingers against my flesh. My pace quickens to a jog as the rage within me boils over, engulfing me completely.
But then I see Hayden standing next to his bike alone, and confusion coats me like a fire suppressant. I slow down, then come to a complete stop as the rev of the engine freezes me in my tracks. My primed muscles relax as I stand in the middle of the parking lot, staring at sex on two wheels coming straight toward me.
Sofee straddles the maroon-colored Harley Davidson as if it were crafted specifically for her thighs. She roars out of the shop, her obsidian hair mostly shielded from my view by one of the spare helmets Hayden must have given her. Her golden skin almost shimmers under the lowering sun rays, making my fingers itch to feel how soft I know she is. My dick comes to life behind my jeans as I watch her expertly guide the smooth beast beneath her, commanding the machine to yield to her every whim. She rides better than some of the most experienced motorcyclists I’ve seen. The way she handles the sleek machine would make one believe she manages everything life throws at her with the same confidence and grace.
I stand stock-still, as if embedded in place, as she picks up speed before passing by me completely. I try to catch a glimpse of her eyes, but her sunglasses shield them from the wind, depriving me of the opportunity. The flatness in her lips tells me she is either avidly ignoring me or just doesn’t give a shit about me anymore. Neither of which I'm able to stand.
I stare after her as she pulls out of the parking lot onto the main road. Even after she’s out of sight, I continue to keep my gaze fixed after her. It's only when I can no longer hear the sounds of the exhaust that I’m finally able to move.
And then I’m moving with purpose.
I don’t waste any time as I look back toward the clubhouse to see Tanner coming out with a lazy smile on his lips. I don’t fuck around with walking as I pick up my speed and jog over to the blond-ginger climbing onto his shiny teal Harley. My brother steps out of his car and fixes me with his brows raised in a silent question as I skid to a stop next to Tanner.
“Woah, man,” he laughs, smiling at me. “Where the hell did you come from?”
I shake my head, ignoring his question as I respond. “You on babysitting duty?” I rush to ask, even though I already know the answer. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rome leaning against the hood of his car, watching me with a smirk creasing his lips. My twin knows exactly what I’m about to do. I wonder if he thinks it's a stupid idea too?
Tanner pulls his brows together and studies me carefully. He points his thumb over his shoulder in the direction Sofee disappeared. “Yeah… I was just?—”
“Take the night off,” I cut him off and don’t wait for a response before I rush around him and jog toward my bike, my boots thudding heavily against the ground. “Rome, fill them in,” I say quickly as I toss my leg over my bike and start it.
I can’t hear his words, but I know exactly what Tanner is saying as he mouths, “What the fuck?” He looks at me as if I've grown three heads, while Rome steps up next to him with that same smirk playing on his lips.
I don’t wait around for him to explain what we discovered from Jimmy as I roll forward. I trust that my brother will deliver the news, and the MC can form a plan of attack while I’m gone.
It might kill me in the end, but the moment I saw my sad little ray of sunshine with her legs wrapped around that motorcycle, I decided I would be the only one watching her tonight. I don’t know if it has to do with all the ache I saw in her eyes, but my desire to stay close to her far surpasses any shame I felt earlier.
I peel out of the parking lot as if death itself is chasing me, desperate to catch up to the woman with sad eyes and a firm grip on the handlebars.
She’s not even mumbling to herself tonight. She always mumbles to herself, even when she isn’t alone. But tonight, the silence from her has become deafening. And I can’t help but carry the guilt of being the one who has made her this way.
I stare down at the phone in my hand that emits nothing but the background noise happening around Sofee. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve checked for a malfunction in the app before I came to the conclusion that she’s just being silent. Apart from her mundanely answering her jabbering co-worker and the few patients she’s seen this evening, she hasn’t spoken a word. A fact that shines a spotlight on my cruelty that’s caused her to act this way.
I pocket my phone and push both hands into my hair, pulling the follicles to the point of pain before releasing my grip. My boots thud rhythmically against the pavement as I continue to pace beside my bike. It’s been like this for the past nine hours. I can do nothing else besides move restlessly and stare at that damn phone. All while praying for the sun to rise before I burst into the ER and demand Sofee speak to me. Or at least force her to look at me.
I don’t know what's wrong with me. Her silence tells me I’ve won the game I’ve been playing with her for all these years. I have successfully made her not want anything to do with me. But for some fucking reason, now all I want is to be the one person who never puts that look in her eyes again.
Releasing a harsh breath, I sit on the edge of my bike and pull my phone from my pocket again. My foot taps against the pavement as I access the hospital's surveillance system. I swipe and tap the screen until multiple different views of the ER are displayed. Quickly glancing through each small screen, I finally spot the one where Sofee is and click into it. Soon, she fills the screen.
She’s sitting at the front desk tonight, tapping on the keyboard. Nobody is in the waiting room, so I can hear the sounds of her pecking fingers clearly. She stares at the computer screen with a bored indifference as she types. Although the camera isn’t the best for capturing distinct features, I can tell by the rigidity of her shoulders that she is lost in her thoughts. Most likely, she's doing the same thing I’ve been doing for the past eighteen hours - replaying the things I did to her over and over again until the pain and self-loathing become nothing less than a festering wound.
My foot tapping has turned into my entire leg bouncing now. A low grumble forms in my chest as I stand up. Placing the phone on the seat of my bike, I start pacing again. If I don’t find a distraction, and soon, there will be nothing to stop me from barging in there and blowing this entire mission.
Not only will it be suspicious for me to show up at the hospital twice in the last twenty-four hours, but also, the fact that I want her to talk to me will jeopardize any cover we ever had. I’ve lost count of the years I have spent trying to make Sofee hate me. If I were to suddenly act like I don’t want her to stay away from me, it would only create confusion. And confusion inevitably leads to questioning.
No, I need to stay right where I am.
But just as I think I’ll be able to stay put, a vehicle pulling into the parking lot has all my hackles rising. I watch as a sleek black Mercedes pulls up to the side of the hospital and parks. The headlights turn off as the driver's side door opens and a dark figure stands. He’s a tall motherfucker. The way he’s holding his arm draws my attention until I realize he has it cradled in a sling.
“Shit,” I murmur as I quickly swipe out of TSA and go to my contacts. Swiping hastily, I search for the one person who can shed some light on Sofee’s unexpected visitor. I stab the call button harder than necessary and listen to it ring twice before she picks up.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Max bites in a hushed rasp. I pull the phone away from my ear, frowning down at it as if she can see my annoyance. I hadn’t really thought to check the time when I called her, but now that I see it’s after three in the morning, I can see why she would be irritated with me.
“Tell me what you dug up on this Joel guy,” I demand, not bothering to apologize for my ill-timed phone call. I don’t have time to worry about anyone other than Sofee right now.
Max yawns as she speaks. “Sir yes, Sir,” she grumbles. “There wasn’t much to find out. He’s some wealthy bachelor who lives up in Baton Rouge. He co-owns a financial agency there with two partners, Janice Williams and Gregory Timberland,” she says, her voice clearing of any remaining sleep. “According to their interoffice emails, Joel is in town for business. They’re trying to acquire a rival company in this area, but the current owners are pushing back. According to Janice, Joel was the best one of them to come down here and shmooze them into submission.”
My temper ticks higher and higher with each word Max says. I don’t know why, but I felt better when I thought Joel was a potential suspect. Now that I know he’s a normal guy, it makes me irritable for some reason.
“He owns a few properties in Baton Rouge, a penthouse here in New Orleans, and a few beach rentals down in South Florida,” she says.
Scratch that, Joel isn’t some normal dude. He’s a super-rich, definitely-not-normal dude.
I divert my attention from Max as she rambles on about seeing a picture of Joel on his Instagram and how she thought he was “so yummy she would drink his bath water” if given the opportunity. Watching him walk toward the front entrance of the ER has my pulse jumping in my throat. I squint as I stare after him and notice he’s holding something in his right hand. From this distance, I can't quite make out what it is, but it appears long and fanned out at the top.
Even now that I know he isn’t a threat, I want nothing more than to take him out before he has a chance to see Sofee. The ringing in my ears becomes undeniably loud, and I feel my nostrils flare with my harsh breaths. My body is priming for a fight I won’t be getting. I forcefully unclench my jaw before I crack a molar as the automatic door opens for him, and he steps inside.
Max’s voice slowly filters back in as I pull my attention away from the glass door that separates me from Joel and Sofee.
“—would stop me from tapping that like Morse Code in a WWII war room,” she says playfully. Before she can continue to piss me off with her innuendos, I cut her off.
“Thanks,” I growl before hanging up. Quickly swiping out of the call, I pull up TSA again and wait for the screen to load. I grit my teeth as the spinning wheel of death taunts me. Even though it’s just a few seconds of waiting for the video to load on the screen, it feels like hours, leaving me to wonder how this exchange will end.
Finally, the video stops buffering and connects, as the sound does too.
“—wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me last night.” Joel's deep voice resonates, and I bite back my snarl.
“Oh, wow,” Sofee’s surprised voice sounds over the speaker as I watch Joel hand her something. My chest falls as I finally see what he’s holding. Flowers . She inhales so deeply I can hear the rise of her chest with the nametag against her breast. I watch the live feed on my phone as she sniffs the deep red flowers.
“You don’t even like flowers, Brat,” I growl at the screen. It’s true. I heard her say once that she would much prefer a plant with roots over one that is just going to die in a vase.
“You didn’t have to do this. If anything, I owe you an apology for how I acted last night. I was completely unprofessional.” Her voice sounds over the mic.
My fingers are gripping the phone with such force that my knuckles have gone white. My heart races in my chest as I watch her smile at him. When was the last time I saw her smile? Would she smile like that for me if I bought her flowers?
My internal questions have me moving again. I drop the phone onto the seat of my bike as if it burned me. Rubbing my palm over my mouth, I try to get my shit together. I’m supposed to be watching out for her, not standing here wondering how I could make her smile at me.
“No need to apologize, I did kind of sneak up on you,” he says. I don’t even need to look at the screen to see him returning her smile. I can hear it in his goddamn words.
“Well, I’m still embarrassed by my actions.” Her voice is mumbled.
I begin to pace again. This is driving me fucking insane. All I want to do is burst in there and pull her away from this Joel guy. I want to stake my claim on this woman who will never be mine and make her smile at me the way she does for him. And I want to kill this innocent guy for ever thinking he could take what belongs to me.
Slow down... Belongs to me?
My thought brings my pacing to a screeching halt. Where the hell did that come from? Sofee is not mine. Not now, not ever. But even as I try to convince myself, I taste its bitter lie on my tongue.
“You wanna hear something that will make you feel better?” the tall millionaire asks her. I turn my ear toward the phone as she answers.
“Sure,” she says hesitantly.
“You left last night before I could tell you what I did to pop my shoulder out of the socket,” he starts.
“Oh, that isn’t necessary ? —”
“No, I want to tell you. But you have to promise me you won’t laugh.”
I can’t help it any longer, so I take two big strides back to the phone and pick it up. The camera is facing Joel’s back, but I still have the perfect view of Sofee as she speaks.
“Cross my heart.” She places her free hand against her chest. I swallow thickly as I stare at her. Joel does that head bob people do when they’re pretending to weigh their options. Fucking chump.
“Okay, I trust you.” He nods and she smiles at him again, eliciting a deep rumble from my chest. “I’m in town on business, and the company heads I’ve been dealing with are all… well, let's just say they have to watch how fast they sit down; otherwise, the sticks that are firmly up their asses would come shooting out of their mouths,” he jokes.
Sofee covers her mouth quickly, but it does nothing to muffle her snort of laughter. She shakes her head and clears her throat, still grinning at this soon-to-be-dead man. The vein by my temple ticks just as my dick jumps behind my zipper. Anger and desire for this woman intertwine deep in my gut. I scoff and frown down at the phone. “That wasn’t even that funny, Brat,” I say aloud as if she were right in front of me.
“So, I took them out for drinks at a local bar someone recommended. It turned out to be a very popular karaoke bar.”
“Oh no,” she mutters.
“Oh, yes,” he chuckles. “And not just any karaoke bar, but one that specializes in nineties country.”
Sofee barely suppresses her giggle, and suddenly, my palm itches for my gun. I’m almost ready to go in there and shoot this fucker if he makes her laugh any more. The sound is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard, but hearing it directed at anyone other than me is making me murderous.
I need a reason to go in there. The only way I’ll be able to get her to stop laughing and flirting with this guy is to go in there and break it up myself. But I have no logical reason to go into an emergency room at three in the morning. Interrupting will only cause her to become suspicious as to why I’m here in the first place.
“So after way too many shots of tequila and pitchers of margaritas, I finally convinced this group of certified prudes into getting our karaoke on. All three of us squeezed onto the tiny stage and took turns singing our tribute to the one and only queen,” he pauses for dramatic effect, bowing at the waist as if to imaginary royalty. “Mrs. Shania Twain herself.”
“No,” Sofee giggles and my vision becomes hazy around the edges, focusing completely on her.
“Yes,” he says. “We were on stage, rocking out to ‘Any Man of Mine,’ when I tripped over the microphone cord and crashed onto the tables directly in front of the stage. To add to my humiliation, I dislocated my shoulder in the process.”
As soon as Joel stops talking, my heart threatens to explode in my chest as Sofee loses it. She tilts her head back and laughs at him. Her deep, throaty laugh, which usually drives me mad with lust, now fills me with rage.
I can’t watch this any longer.
I put the phone back down onto the seat of my bike and start patting myself down. I don’t know what I’m looking for specifically; I just know I need to find a reason to go into that hospital. I’m not going to stand here and listen to her fawn all over this rich cocksucker anymore.
As Sofee’s laughter subsides, he starts speaking again. “Anyway, I wanted to thank you for helping me make an unbearable evening a little more bearable. And this may be out of line, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since last night. And ? —”
“Don’t you fucking do it. Don’t you make me come in there and rip your goddamn head off,” I curse at Joel as if he can hear me. I’m frantic now as I search for a reason to go inside. Any reason. Then I feel it, tucked into the inside of my boot. The cool metal beckons me to grab it.
“And, I wanted to see if I could take you out sometime?”
The high-pitched ringing in my ears intensifies until I can no longer hear anything else. My primal self takes over completely, and a calmness, unlike anything I've ever felt before, washes over me like a cold blanket. I bend down, and in one swift move, pull my pant leg up to unstrap the razor-sharp bowie knife from inside my boot. I’m blind to everything else as I tightly grip the handle in my fist and stand back to my full height.
I don’t think twice as I lean against the side of my bike, raise the knife, and ram it down into my right thigh as hard as I can. The sharp blade slices through the meaty part of my leg, hopefully avoiding any major arteries as I planned. Pain lances me in molten waves, radiating from my leg up my spine. My muscles convulse on their own whims as I clench my teeth together and groan low and hard, suppressing my shout of pain as best as I can.
Blood bubbles and seeps from around the knife as I release the handle with shaking fingers. My breath hisses in and out of me in rapid pulls as I stare down at the weapon sticking out of my thigh. My vision darkens around the edges, and I think for a moment the pain might make me pass out. But somehow, I gather my strength, push away from the bike, and palm my phone. I turn it off as I hop on my good leg and head toward the ER bay doors.
Now I have a fucking reason.