Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
DECLAN
I never thought I’d see the day I contemplated burning down a hospital full of innocent people. But here I am, holding the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met in my arms, considering how best to get away with arson. All because I don’t want to wake her from her post-orgasm nap so she can get to work on time.
My fingers trace the curve of her back as she lays with her head on my chest, peaceful slumber softening her delicate features. Each of her breaths is deep and slow, warming the bare tattooed flesh on my chest. Her hair is a curly, wildly tangled mess that’s softer than any cashmere. Her cheeks have a slight pink tinge, matching her full red lips that are still swollen from my abuse, a sight that has had my dick half hard this entire time she’s been sprawled on top of me.
Her body is completely melded with mine, her arm thrown over my stomach and her leg draped over my upper thigh. Even her breasts are snugly pressed against my side. A comforting warmth radiating from her, even as she lies fully uncovered on top of the pile of blankets I’ve been sleeping on for the past few days.
It’s been almost an hour since the last time I slid into her wet depths. Since the last time I came as close to heaven as a man like me will ever get. And I still can’t force myself to move and wake her.
“You have me now.”
My hand twitches against her side as her words replay in my mind. They’ve been on repeat like a scratched record since they first dripped from her tongue. And they still affect me in the same exact way.
My heart stutters in my chest as my pulse jumps in my throat. My chest flashes with an intense heat that ignites a wildfire to blaze uncontrollably deep in my gut. Even my breathing accelerates as if my body is preparing to flee.
But the craziest part of it all is that this time, I don’t want to run. For once, my anxiety isn’t feeding a storm of regret in my mind. For the first time since I met Sofee, I’m not looking for a way out or seeking a way to escape the feelings she elicits within me. I’m not searching for some new creatively harsh insult or immediate exit strategy to ensure she stays far away.
This time, I find myself looking for ways to make sure she never leaves me again. Even going as far to plan an elaborate massacre, all in the hope that she stays where she is.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Her whispered promise echoes in my mind, teasing me with the possibility that the words will come to fruition.
It’s odd, this strange new feeling for the woman in my arms. All the reasons for her to stay away from me are still very much true. A multitude of scenarios could unfold, ensuring her untimely demise.
I’m still the second son of a legendary mob boss and the brother of the Don of the Morelli family. Any one of the family's many enemies could find me and decide to seek retribution against the Morellis in the form of Sofee’s head. Not quite unlike the situation she’s in right now actually. Though Matteo is not pursuing Sofee because of the Morelli name, her life is still in danger for being involved in this part of our world, nonetheless.
My hands are still just as blood-stained as they’ve ever been, if not more so with the recent death of Jimmy. The transfer of that stain to Sofee is inevitable. Do I really want to be responsible for the moral downfall of someone who brings so much light to this universe?
She’s still the little sister of my best friend. I know for a fact that Liam won’t take kindly to anyone fucking with his sister, especially a degenerate like me. Even though my feelings for her are more than just sexual, the fallout between us may still be unavoidable once he discovers the truth.
And then there’s Alana. I squeeze my eyes shut as her memory festers the old wound that never had the chance to heal. Her death has created a chasm between my past and any future I could have hoped for. Even as I slowly construct a path over the gaping wound, I will forever carry the weight of my guilt created by her death.
But even as I think about the woman I once loved, I feel lighter than usual. Something has been slowly shattering deep in my soul since the moment I first kissed Sofee. And it feels unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It’s strange, foreign. It makes the back of my eyes burn and my chest swell. Not regret or guilt, but rather, sorrow.
I’ve been so busy blaming myself for Alana’s death that I never really had the chance to grieve the loss of her life, the loss of my old life. Never allowed myself to feel the sorrow that has always lingered underneath everything else. I’ve only ever masked it with anger and ignored it in my rage.
I don’t know how she managed it, but when I’m with Sofee, I’m finally allowed to mourn the loss of everything. The loss of Alana. The loss of my brother. The loss of who I used to be and who I wanted to be.
Sofee took a huge step today with being so forthcoming with her own emotions, never hesitating to show her passion when the need arose. And her bravery has somehow forced me to finally start dealing with my own shit.
What happened with Alana was fucked up and by far the darkest part of my life. But it’s past time I forgive myself and try to move on. All of this may have started with me, but I’m not the one who ended her life. My father is the monster responsible for all this pain and anguish, not me. After all these years of wallowing in my own self-pity, all it took was a smart-mouthed little brat to tell me she didn’t believe I was responsible for her death to make me finally see the truth in her words.
There are many reasons why Sofee is better off without me. Thousands maybe. But as I wrap my arm around her and bury my nose into her hair, not a single one is strong enough to keep me away anymore.
I was a fool to think I could take her once to get her out of my system. A fool to think she would allow me to use her like that and then ignore her. We have both experienced this soul-expanding bond that flows between us. Neither of us knows the real reason we’re drawn together. But like the opposing sides of a magnet, we are. And just like Sofee, I’m tired of fighting this.
I want to grow with her, learn how to be a better person for her, and become the man who deserves her. I will be worthy of her one day.
So now, with this bright shining spot in my darkness cuddled safely in my arms, I decide to stop fighting this connection we have and start fighting to keep it, to strengthen it. I think I decided the first moment I pulled her lip behind my teeth and marked her as mine; it’s just taken the rest of me this long to catch up with my heart.
She may be my exact opposite in every conceivable way, but I’ve finally figured out that I don’t want a life without her in it. I need her lighting my way and driving me fucking crazy with her smart mouth for the rest of my existence.
It’s getting late, and I need to wake her now. I take one last deep breath against her, allowing my favorite scent to fill my lungs. I’ve delayed waking her for long enough. She’ll have my balls if I let her sleep any longer and make her late for work.
Squeezing her close to me, I gently roll us until she’s on her back. I hover over her as she stretches beneath me, the move reminding me of a black cat. Her dark eyelashes flutter sleepily as she grins up at me. My breath catches in my throat as I take in that small smile meant only for me.
Turns out, I don’t need any damn flowers afterall.
I graze my fingers down her side as she raises her hands above my head before wrapping them around my shoulders. My stomach clenches as she plays with the hair at the nape of my neck.
“You’re still here,” she mumbles, sleep thickening her words. I lean down and trail my nose from the hollow of her throat up until my lips hover over hers. I lightly graze them against hers and relish the way she sighs and softens under me.
I’m not going anywhere either.
“I didn’t want to wake you,” I murmur against her lips. “But you have to be at work soon,” I say before leaning in further and pressing my lips against hers. I take my time as I lavish her with kisses. She moans into my mouth as her nipples pucker between us. My cock hardens as she opens like a book, eager to be devoured by the reader. Our tongues slowly dance together, each new lick sending zaps of arousal down my spine.
Before I get too swept up in her, I force myself to pull away. Her eyes shine up at me as she searches my gaze. A small frown creases her brows as she swallows thickly. Is she thinking I’m about to run again? I can’t say that I blame her; I've never given her any reason to believe I’m capable of anything other than fleeing.
It’s time to right that wrong.
Quickly, before I change my mind and tie her up so she can never leave me again, I give her one final peck and roll off of her. Turning away, I grab my discarded pair of jeans and stand.
“Besides,” I say, turning to face her, nearly losing my thoughts as I memorize the way she looks right now—disheveled and gloriously naked. “I need to go find Liam,” I say while shoving my foot through one side of my jeans. I raise my brows and glance up at her through my lashes. She mirrors my expression with wide eyes.
“Liam?” she balks as she leans up on her elbows. I suppress my urge to grin as I shove my other foot into my jeans and pull them up. “Why do you need to go find my brother?”
Carefully, I grab my dick and catch Sofee’s eye before tucking it into my jeans. Her nostrils flare as a red stain crawls up her chest. I’ve lost track of how many orgasms I’ve given her today, but she proves just how insatiable she truly is with that one ravenous stare. It seems that at the first sign of my stiff length, she’s ready to eat me alive. And if it weren’t for my pressing need to truly claim her as mine, I’d gladly settle myself between her splayed thighs and find my home once more.
But, I need to do this the right way.
It’s bad enough I already fucked his sister in deplorably delicious, downright filthy ways. If I’m actually going to do this, if I’m going to make Sofee mine, I have to ensure Liam's okay with it. Even if the likelihood of him blaming her is minuscule, I can’t risk any backlash raining on her head. I don’t want to make her regret this any more than she might already.
I zip and button my jeans, taking away her fun entirely before crouching in front of her. Grabbing her chin, I pull her closer until she is forced to sit upright. “So I can tell him about us,” I confess, brushing my lips against hers.
She inhales sharply before pulling away from me. Her lips open and close like a fish out of water as she searches for her words. I cut her off before she has a chance to find them as I grab her hands and stand, pulling her up with me. I gather her in my arms, letting my hands find her ass before pulling her flush against my front. She cranes her neck to look up at me.
“I need to do this, La Mia Alba ,” I murmur, noticing her hooded glaze at my words. “I’ve tried ignoring you. Tried pushing you away and making you hate me.” Her lips part on a breath as I raise my hands to her lower back and higher still. “I’ve tried shoving down everything I feel for you by avoiding you and running in the opposite direction,” I say as my hands reach the back of her neck and then her hair. Leaning towards her, I bring her forehead to mine as I finally speak my truth. “I don’t want to run and hide anymore, Sofee. I’m tired of ignoring whatever this is between us. I want to be with you more than I want my next breath,” I confess.
Her eyes glisten with barely restrained emotion as she stares up at me. Her lips part into a small smile that grows by the second. I feel her delicate hands as they find my forearms. I pull her lips to mine, her smile never faltering as I kiss her again.
But before it can get too deep, I pull away and kiss the tip of her nose before tucking her against me. I hug her as the smell of rose petals surrounds us, and a sense of peace flows over me.
“So, I’m going to talk to your brother, and you’re going to get ready for work. When you get home tonight, I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“You’re not running?” she asks, causing me to chuckle softly. She squeezes me around my middle as she nuzzles my chest.
I reluctantly pull her away from me and meet her stare. “I’m done running,” I promise. She smiles up at me, showcasing her brilliant light that I will never fully deserve. Stooping down, I pick up my shirt along with her tank top. After handing it to her, I quickly pull my shirt over my head and back away toward the door.
“Now I just have to figure out if your brother is going to let me live long enough to stand still,” I say as a shiver of trepidation snakes down my spine. I catch her snort of laughter as she covers her perfect tits with her top and starts searching for her scrub pants.
I grip the door handle as she glances back at me. Twisting it, I step into the hallway and take her in one last time. Her smile is softer than I’ve ever seen it. Worry clear from her expression for the first time as she stares at me with something unrecognizable glittering in her chocolate eyes. I memorize her in this moment so I can call upon it the next time I feel unworthy of love. If a creature as brilliant and wonderful as her can look at me with pure adoration in her eyes, I can find it in me to give myself the same amount of grace next time I need it.
“See you soon, Brat,” I promise before closing the door with a soft click . Maybe I shouldn’t feel this unburdened before all the cards have been laid on the table. But for the first time in years, the ever-present daunting weight on my shoulders feels lighter as I close the door to my secret obsession and embrace my new mission of revealing her to my world.