Chapter 9
Sorcha didn’t know how to respond to him. Her husband, who had not spoken to her in days, was now giving her the thing she craved most. No matter how much she tried to deny it, Sorcha wanted her husband. She wanted a place in his bed and not just at his side.
She wanted him to do these wondrous things to her, to make her feel like she was cherished.
She wanted to be a wife in every way.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, but he didn’t complain, pumping into her until she was brought to the brink of pleasure once more. Her body racked with it and Sorcha cried out his name, wondering if anyone had ever died of pleasure.
She sure felt like she was.
There were no words, only the sound of their bodies hitting each other as he moved at a rapid pace until he was groaning against her skin, the wetness of his release filling her.
For a moment, they stood there, her legs wrapped around his waist until she couldn’t feel them any longer and was forced to move.
When she did, he lowered her to the floor, her knees shaking. “Are ye alright?”
“I’m fine,” she responded, her heart clenching in her chest.
Was this love? It couldn’t be. She had only known him for less than a month and truly didn’t know her husband at all. She didn’t know what he liked or disliked, or if he preferred whiskey or ale. She didn’t know his past or why he slept in a chamber no larger than a bathing closet.
She did, however, know his body rather well.
Sorcha picked up her gown from the dirt floor and slid it on, attempting to ward off the cold that was now seeping into her skin.
What had seemed like a simple thing to do had turned into something far more complicated and now she was concerned that she had feelings for a man who wasn’t going to reciprocate them.
“Here,” he said from behind. Sorcha felt the weight of her cloak on her shoulders and she turned, noting that he had dressed himself. “Ye need this more than I do.”
He shook his head. “Nay. A bit of cold is not going tae worry me.”
“Still,” she argued, “I dinnae wish tae take care of ye because of this.”
His lips lifted into a grin and Sorcha’s breath stuttered in her chest. “Are ye saying ye wilnae take care of me, Wife?”
Nay. She wanted to take care of him. “I’m saying we have a ride ahead of us.”
“Then we better hurry,” Liam replied, his eyes warming.
Sorcha strode out of the shed, her hands trembling as she mounted Iron. She had pulled her out of the stable, wanting to get away from both her current life and her missing husband.
Never would she have thought she would have found him.
Their ride back to the stables was quiet and once they had dismounted, the cowering stableboy took their horses, ensuring them both that he would look after them.
“Come,” Liam replied, holding out his hand. “Let’s get ourselves warm.”
Sorcha drew in a cold breath as she placed her hand in his, feeling him wrap it around hers before starting toward the keep.
She was grateful that they did not run into Sheamus or Agnes when they entered.
Agnes had hinted that Sorcha should attempt to spend more time with Liam, and when she had said that she couldn’t force herself on her husband, the other woman had laughed and said she most certainly could.
If she wanted to.
That was one of the reasons Sorcha had taken the ride today, wanting to sort out her feelings and decide what kind of marriage she wanted with Liam. Before he had come after her, Sorcha had thought she would keep her promise to him, wanting nothing more than a partnership.
But after their time in the shed, Sorcha knew it was more than that.
What did her husband wish?
Liam led her up the stairs to his chamber. “Climb in bed, Sorcha,” he told her as he walked over to the fireplace. “Get yerself warm.”
She wasn’t going to argue with that. Sorcha removed her cloak and shoes before climbing into his bed piled high with furs, burrowing herself in them as she watched Liam stoke the fire.
His broad shoulders bunched with each movement and Sorcha sighed, wanting to trace them with her fingers. What would he do next?
When he turned, she was taken by his handsomeness. “Warm?” he asked, his voice rumbling.
Sorcha bit her lip. “Perhaps I would be a bit more if ye joined me.”
To her surprise, Liam grinned, looking younger than she had seen him. “Then let me make certain I give mah wife what she needs.”
When Sorcha woke, she found herself alone in Liam’s bed again, covered and warm.
For a moment she lay there, a soft smile crossing her lips.
They had spent all afternoon in bed and much of the night, only coming out once or twice to relieve themselves and take a bath together in the tin tub that Liam had brought in.
He had been attentive to her and though they had not shared anything about each other, he had seemed far more relaxed than she had seen him.
The concern she had was that she was starting to care for her husband.
With a sigh, Sorcha pulled the covers around her, the air in the chamber warm. Something had changed with them, even if Liam was not willing to admit it.
But what did that mean for her? Sorcha didn’t know how long she would be able to hide her feelings for him and the moment he found out, what would he do? She had promised that they would be partners, yet she had gone back on her word.
She didn’t wish to leave. She didn’t want to leave this keep, or this clan, or her husband.
But it seemed her husband had no qualms to leave her in his bed, without any word to what he was feeling or if he wished to make this more between them. She wouldn’t ask, of course. She had promised to be a partner, nothing more.
What Sorcha hadn’t thought was that Liam would want to consummate their marriage, stealing her heart at the same time. Sorcha had imagined that they would fall into a companionable relationship and though it would have been fine with her, now she knew they could not go back.
She could not be just a partner to him. She wished to be his wife.
Sorcha threw back the covers, finding her shift on the floor.
It was time to start her day.
That afternoon, as Sorcha sat before the fire, sewing materials in her lap, the great hall doors opened, bringing in the cold with it. She shivered and pulled the shawl around her shoulders tighter as she rose from the chair, finding Liam staring back at her.
“Wife,” he said, striding toward her.
“Husband,” she replied, watching as he moved toward the fire, holding his hands out to the warmth. Sorcha walked over to the sideboard and poured him a cup of whiskey, carrying it back over to Liam. “Here, this will warm yer insides.”
“Mah thanks,” he replied, their fingers brushing as he took the cup.
Sorcha drew in a breath against the flutters in her stomach and stepped back. “Where have ye been?”
“The far reaches of mah land,” he replied, taking a sip of the whiskey. “Winter is coming. Some of the villagers will need a place tae sleep.”
“Aye,” she responded. “All the rooms have been readied in anticipation.”
His shoulders stiffened. “All the rooms?”
“All but the laird’s chambers,” she said quickly. Even when she had pressed the need to do so, Agnes had pushed back, stating that only the laird could authorize such a wish. She hadn’t told Sorcha why.
The tension in his shoulders eased and Sorcha knew then that something was an unpleasant memory for him in that room. What had happened?
“I will have the warriors spread the word then,” Liam said after a moment. “The stores are good, I suppose?”
“They will get us through the winter,” Sorcha said slowly. “If we mind the amount.”
“Good,” he replied. “’Tis won’t allow for much privacy.”
“Aye.” Sorcha wasn’t so certain she knew what he was hinting at, but she hoped it was privacy between the two of them. She didn’t want to take two steps backwards but continue this between them. As much as she worried about her heart, Sorcha didn’t want to be separated from Liam again.
He drained his glass before handing it to her. “I will be at the practice fields.”
She arched a brow. “It’s cold out there.”
“Just as much,” Liam stated.
Sorcha watched him go before she let out a breath. Why did it feel like she had made no progress?
Liam did not show at dinner and Sorcha was forced to maintain the conversation and pretend as if nothing was amiss with them.
She had hoped that he would come to dinner at least, to show his family that they were getting along, but it seemed the only place she was allowed to have him was on clan days and in a bed, whenever he felt the need.
It shouldn’t have bothered her, but it did.
By the time she climbed into her bed that evening, Sorcha was worried that the stolen moments between them were but a dream.
Liam did not wish to have a true marriage.
He was the only one who was keeping to their bargain and she felt like a fool for thinking she could do the same.
If only her sisters were here! They would tell her what to do.
They likely would tell her to leave, but that was out of the question.
Sorcha had no reason to leave. She was coming to love her new clan, Sheamus, Agnes, and all the others that she had come in contact with during her short time here.
Even today she had been invited to watch the birth of a new bairn, even having the great opportunity to name the baby girl.
It made her think of how much she would like to have Liam’s bairns one day. There had been a time where she hadn’t seen the need to have children, but watching the young couple as they cooed over their new addition caused Sorcha’s heart to twist in her chest.
She wanted the same, yet she was not willing to leave Liam in order to have it.
A soft knock on her door had Sorcha out of her bed and opening it in the span of a few seconds, finding Liam on the other side. He reeked of whiskey, his hair tousled as if he had been running his hands through it.
“Husband,” she said softly.
“Wife,” he stated, pushing away from the doorframe. “I wish tae sleep with ye tonight.”
Sorcha’s heart turned over in her chest and despite her concerns, she stepped aside, allowing him into her chamber. “Are we tae sleep?”
He chuckled darkly, stumbling into her bed before swearing. “Sleep? I dinnae know what sleep is.”
Clearly, he was deep in his cups. Sorcha sighed and pushed at Liam’s shoulder, noting how easily he fell onto her bed. As much as she would have liked to do something more than just sleep, it was what would happen tonight.
“What are ye doing?” he murmured, his eyes already closing as she removed his boots.
“We are sleeping,” she stated, pushing him onto his back.
He protested weakly, but Sorcha was already climbing into the bed next to him, pulling the furs around them.
She was rewarded with a snore a moment later. Sorcha turned on her side. Well, if nothing else, she had him in her bed. He muttered something in his sleep before resuming his snoring, and she soothed his troubled brow, wondering what was going on in his thick head.
What had made him drink so much tonight?
Why had he sought her out instead of his own chamber?
What was going to make him care for her?
Sorcha shut her eyes, suddenly weary herself. She couldn’t make him care for her, but she could care for him until he realized that they could have more than just a partnership.
And if not, then she would love him from afar.