Chapter 13
One month later...
Sorcha woke with a start, wiping her forehead with her hand.
Her stomach was churning something fierce and she wondered if she was falling ill.
Outside the window, the winter storm was approaching quickly, the wind whistling through the crevices in the stones.
This evening, they would open the keep to those looking for shelter from the storm, and Agnes was already anticipating that the keep would be stuffed to the gills with clansmen and their families.
She and Agnes had worked feverishly to have additional supplies waiting, including food stores and linen to help make pallets on the floor.
Every room in the keep had been opened, the bed chambers ready to house small families if needed.
She and Liam now occupied the laird’s chambers, though there were times Sorcha missed her small bedchamber with her husband. When he had suggested that they occupy the empty room, she had wanted to question his reasoning.
But she hadn’t, allowing him to have this boon and feeling like it was part of his healing.
Her stomach churned again, and Sorcha scrambled out of bed, relieving her stomach of the contents of dinner quickly. She felt as though she were becoming ill.
I dinnae have time for this!
Tonight, the keep would be overrun with those that needed both their laird and lady, and she could not be in her bed, indisposed.
Sorcha sat on the floor, feeling the cold seep through her nightgown.
At least Liam was not here to see her in this condition.
He would likely bundle her up and force her to remain abed.
The last month he had become protective of her, accompanying her everywhere outside of the keep and remaining indoors more than he had in the past.
His excuse had been that the weather was far too cold, but Sorcha was afraid that it was because he did not want her out of his sight.
She didn’t know when the shift had happened, but Liam had gone from ignoring her to, well, annoying her.
It wasn’t that she didn’t mind her husband’s company. She reveled in the fact that he was spending time with her, sleeping in their bed, and sharing meals.
Their business arrangement had grown into something far more important and Sorcha was amazed at how quickly he had become someone particularly important in her life.
Bile rose in her throat and Sorcha draped herself over the chamber pot once more. What was wrong with her?
Then it hit her. Sorcha lifted her head, surprise filtering through her veins. Could it be? She quickly attempted to think of the last time she had her womanly bleeding and could not conjure it up.
Oh my!
Sorcha slumped against the bed. She was carrying Liam’s child.
Her hand trembling, she slid it over her stomach.
She had not planned on a child. Of course, it was expected, given the amount of time they spent in their bed, exploring each other’s bodies, and satisfying their needs, but they had not discussed children.
Especially since she had found out about her husband’s anguish at the loss of his wife and child. Did he even wish to have more children?
Could he push past his pain and give them a chance for a happy future? Sorcha had seen a glimmer of hope over the last month as he had spent more time with her. It seemed he did want a future—a wife, and not just a partner.
And she wanted a husband, not just a partner. Her feelings for Liam were stronger than she could have ever possibly imagined, and he captured her entire heart each time he smiled at her.
She could not possibly live without him.
Sorcha drew in a breath, rising from the cold floor before she truly did grow ill. Now that she had all but confirmed her reason for her sickness, the greater question loomed.
Did she tell her husband? She would have to, but when was the right time?
What would he do?
Biting her lip, Sorcha reached for her dress that was draped over the chair. She would keep her secret for now. The moment she told anyone, there was a chance that Liam would find out and, unlike his great secret, Sorcha wanted to be the one to tell him that he was going to be a father again.
“Och, little one,” she whispered as she pulled her nightgown over her head. “’Tis not good timing.”
Nothing ever was but it was too late to be concerned with it. Liam would have to understand that as well, and they would bring this child into their lives without any qualms that she could not. Both her sisters had no issues with their birthing, and Sorcha was young and strong.
She was not Nelia nor was these five years past all over again. She had to make certain that Liam did not see it as such, or she would quite possibly not be allowed to leave the bed for the next few months or so.
Pulling on her dress, Sorcha slid the chamber pot under the bed and washed her face, using the paste to clean her teeth and mouth quickly.
Hopefully, the morning sickness would not be something that would carry throughout the day, or she was going to have a devil of a time hiding it from anyone, including her husband.
Later that evening, Sorcha stood next to Liam as they threw open the doors to admit the villagers gathered to spend a few days in the keep.
The storm was nearly on them now, the sky dark with heavy clouds threatening a blizzard at any moment.
Sorcha smiled as the first few families came through, carrying their wide-eyed children as they got their first looks at the finery of the keep.
“I hope ye hid the silver, Wife,” Liam joked, his breath tickling her ear.
“Aye, they can only steal the gold,” she remarked, yelping as he pinched her side lightly. This was what she enjoyed about their newfound happiness. Turns out her husband was quite the jester when he wished to be, and he seemed to be smiling far more lately than when she had first come to the keep.
Her heart warmed as she watched their clan greet him like their son, shaking hands and even accepting a few hearty hugs as more of the clan poured into the keep.
“How many can we hold?” she asked lightly.
He glanced at her. “As many as it takes tae keep them safe, lass.”
Sorcha nodded, biting her lip in worry. Would they have enough food? What about pallets?
Liam must have seen the worry on her face as he touched her shoulder. “Relax, lass. Everyone will pull their weight and we will ensure that no one goes hungry or cold. Ye have done enough tae prepare. Let me have mah turn.”
So, she pushed her fears aside, and once the last person had come through the doors, watched as the warriors pushed them shut, sealing out the impending storm.
The hall was filled with the buzz of conversation and Sorcha helped some of the elder clansmen lay their pallets.
“Thank ye,” one stated as he grabbed her hand. “Ye have made this a happy home again.”
She patted his hand and moved on, tears blurring her vision. Drat. Now her emotions would get the best of her as well.
Soon the great hall floors were covered with pallets, each room they had aired out now full to the gills of families seeking solace and safety. Sorcha helped Agnes and the servants, along with Liam’s warriors, to hand out the meager meal they had prepared, ensuring that everyone had a portion.
It wasn’t until Liam touched her waist that she realized her own stomach was growling with hunger. “Eat, lass,” he said, pushing a bowl of stew into her hands. “I cannae have ye starving so.”
Sorcha took a small sip of the stew, hoping she would not bring it back up directly. “Perhaps next time, we come up with a different plan.”
Liam chuckled. “Perhaps so. I have enjoyed our solace.”
Sorcha watched as a mother helped her children with their stews, her heart rending in her chest. “I cannae imagine having five wee bairns tae care for.”
Liam followed her gaze. “Aye, and all lads as well.”
It was the way he said it that concerned Sorcha, and by the time she gathered up the courage to face him, he was already striding away, passing out the bowl in his hands. Was he going to be happy with her news? Sorcha wasn’t quite sure if he would or not.
She looked down at the bowl, her stomach churning once more, and sighed as she set it aside. She would rather not eat than to throw it back up again whenever her body deemed necessary.
After everyone was settled, Sorcha leaned against her husband’s strong chest as they listened to one of the elder clansmen tell stories of the past, smiling as Liam was portrayed as a saint.
“I never knew ye had done so much,” she remarked.
“I think they enjoy exaggerating the truth,” he replied, his hand on her hip. “I dinnae remember smiting down an entire English army with mah bare hands.”
Sorcha giggled, turning into her husband’s touch. “Perhaps it was a small army.”
He leaned down, nipping at her chin. “Minx. Are ye ready tae turn tae our bed, Wife?”
A yawn escaped her, feeling tired. “Aye.”
Liam led her up the stairs and to their chamber, shutting the door firmly behind them. “At least we dinnae have strangers in our chamber.”
Sorcha tugged at the laces of her dress, sliding it over her head. “They are everywhere. I wouldnae be surprised if someone was under the bed.”
Liam strode to their bed, peering underneath it. “I dinnae see anyone.”
Sorcha was already climbing into the piles of furs. “Well, if they were there, they could stay.”
He arched a brow. “I know ye are eager tae please me lass, but I dinnae want anyone watching what we do.”
She threw a pillow at him. “Come, Husband. ’Tis time tae pleasure yer wife.”
Liam wasted no time sliding his clothing off and climbing into bed, pressing Sorcha down on the mattress and trapping her with his heavy body. “Like this?” he teased, pressing kisses along her jawline.
Sorcha sighed happily, her body warming to her husband’s touch. “’Tis a good start.”
This, she would never grow tired of.
Long after Liam fell asleep, Sorcha remained awake, watching as her strong husband slept. In his sleep, he was relaxed, reminding her that he was younger than he appeared to be. Surely, he would be happy about a child, their child.
He had to be. She would not be able to withstand his coldness or any distance he would put between them.
But she also could not allow him to take over her life and force her to remain still for the remainder of her confinement either. She wanted to ride Iron. She wanted to help in the keep.
She wanted to live.
He snorted in his sleep and she laid a hand on his chest, watching as it rose and fell with each breath. Oh, how she loved him! She wished to tell him so but could never find the right time to express her feelings on the matter.
Nor had he made any indication that he returned her feelings. Not that it mattered. Sorcha would walk to the ends of the earth for him.
Sighing, she closed her eyes, her hand still on his chest. It was going to be alright. It had to be.
She could not do this alone. She didn’t want to do this alone. She wanted to have a family with Liam, to bear his children, and have a marriage that would suit them both.
Even if she had feelings that he could not return to her.
She loved him and that was enough for now.