Chapter 16
By the end of the week, Allegra was quite looking forward to retiring to the countryside.
The duchess had orchestrated a ruthless campaign that included every social circle that mattered.
She had even managed to procure an audience for Allegra with the somewhat reclusive Queen and the Prince of Wales.
Max had accompanied her to every event and had stood by her side, deflecting comments, smiling amiably, and presenting the perfect vision of a devoted husband.
But when they were alone, he treated her with deferential politeness and sought to leave her company as quickly as possible. He spent each night in his own bed, and Allegra never had the opportunity for any private conversation with him.
On the last night before they were due to leave for Somerset, she found herself unable to sleep, and after several hours of irritable wakefulness, she got out of bed, lit a candle, and went through into Max’s bedroom.
She set the candle beside the bed and looked down at his sleeping face.
In repose, he resembled the perfection of a Greek statue, but she still wanted to shake him silly.
“Max,” she said softly. “Are you awake? I need to talk to you.”
His eyelashes fluttered, and he spoke without opening his eyes. “Go away.”
Allegra sighed. “But I can’t. I appear to have upset you, and I’m not sure why.”
He remained silent for a few moments and then groaned. “You’re not going to leave me in peace, are you?”
“You know I will not.”
He rolled onto his side and eased away from her until he was sitting upright with his back against the pillows. “What is it that you wish to say to me?”
She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him. “Firstly, I wish to apologize if I have inadvertently upset you.”
“There’s no need.” He crossed his arms over his bare chest.
“It might help if I knew what I’d done.”
“You’ve done nothing.”
“Max …” Allegra swallowed hard. “Please.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Max said. “Am I not performing to your satisfaction?”
“What on earth is that supposed to mean?” Allegra stared at him.
“I must admit that when you told me that our marriage would not affect me in the slightest and that I was free to continue my rakish ways with your full approval, I was a little confused. But I understand you better now. I thought I was performing the role you required of me.”
“I … don’t understand.”
He raised his eyebrows. “That of a dutiful and attentive husband in public. Isn’t that all you require of me?”
“Not all.”
“I’m merely a prop for your plan to reestablish your family’s reputation. What else could you possibly want?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Do my duties extend to bedding you? Have I been remiss in that matter? Is this what this nocturnal visit is about?” He drew back the covers with a flourish. “Because I am always happy to do my duty and perform for you, my darling.”
Allegra stood up, her hands fisted at her sides, tears crowding the back of her throat. “You’re being absolutely horrible.” Her voice cracked. “I’m sorry for bothering you, and I promise I won’t ever do it again.”
The door slammed behind Allegra, and Max let out a string of curses. She’d looked … devastated. But wasn’t that what he’d wanted? Hadn’t he decided to show her how she’d wounded him and make her feel bad in return?
He lay back against his pillows. His words had sounded so much better in his head than when he’d delivered them. She’d come to him, trying to understand, and he’d repelled all her concern with his own anger. But she’d set out her terms, and hadn’t he merely set out his own?
His righteous indignation didn’t seem to matter so much when he’d hurt her.
And they were married. They had to find a way to live together for the rest of their lives.
He’d never wanted the cold formality of the marriage that existed between his parents.
They’d met only a week before their arranged marriage and had cordially disliked each other ever since.
Allegra insisted that he continue as a rake, and he wanted—
What did he want? Not this horrible conflict and hurt, not separate lives where they barely tolerated each other.
Max groaned. He only knew how to be a man about town and a rake.
How was he going to forge a new identity without the continuing support of Allegra?
She was the person who’d made him think he could be more.
Perhaps it was time to prove that he had the guts to change. How he was going to manage it, when he’d alienated the one person who’d believed in him, was another matter entirely.
Max waited until Allegra was settled in the carriage before attempting any conversation with her.
Their morning had been filled with packing, and they’d sent along their belongings with their staff, who would meet them at Blanchard Hall.
Allegra’s mother had also arranged for Allegra’s dogs to be transported there.
The duke and duchess came into the entrance hall to say goodbye, as well as some of the senior staff. Max couldn’t help but notice Allegra had purple circles under her eyes and was avoiding his gaze. He couldn’t blame her; his behavior on the previous night did not sit well with him.
As the carriage cleared the dense streets of Mayfair, Max turned his attention to his wife. She was studiously ignoring him and looking out of the window.
“I wish to apologize for my behavior last night.”
“That’s quite all right. I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy.” She didn’t even look at him. “I can assure you that I won’t be doing so again.”
“We’re married. You’re the only woman who has the right to come into my bedroom.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”
So, she’d decided to go on the attack. Max much preferred that to her ignoring him.
“Interrupt my sleep?”
She sniffed. “You know what I mean. Although, I believe that most rakes don’t bring their mistresses into their homes unless they are very stupid indeed.”
“Or if they are a duke,” Max said helpfully. “The Duchess of Devonshire had to put up with it.”
“Well, then perhaps you’ll have to wait until you inherit to install your mistress in your house.”
Max pretended to consider her comment. “My father is very hale and hearty. I suspect that by the time I become the duke, I’ll be too old for such matters.”
“A man is never too old to cheat on his wife.”
“So cynical and yet so young,” Max said. “One might think that your father was a rake. But we both know he’s the complete opposite.”
“My sister’s first husband was a gambling, womanizing horror of a man.”
“Smythe-Harding? Yes, he was very bad indeed,” Max agreed. “I believe he shot himself when he couldn’t pay his debts.”
“Yes, after bleeding my sister’s finances dry,” Allegra said.
“I can assure you that I never gamble unless I can pay my debts. Also, your father made very sure that every penny of yours in the marriage contract can’t be touched by me.”
“So he told me,” Allegra said. “I suppose he learned a lesson after what happened to Carenza.” She looked out of the window again. “I wonder if it will rain?”
“At least we’re safe and dry and not stranded on the roadside with a wrecked carriage,” Max said. “I must admit that I’ll never take traveling in comfort for granted again.”
She offered him the barest hint of a smile, but at least she was talking again.
They’d be stuck inside the carriage for at least two days, which gave him plenty of opportunities to goad her into being her usual honest self.
Max still wasn’t sure exactly what he was trying to achieve, which hampered him somewhat, but he could bear anything but silence.
He’d grown up surrounded by every luxury imaginable but with parents who barely seemed to remember they had children.
“We’ll stop at Reading tonight,” Max said. “And we’ll change the horses before that, so you’ll have plenty of opportunities to leave the carriage and stretch your legs.”
“Thank you.” Allegra patted her reticule. “I have several activities to occupy my time, so please don’t feel obliged to talk to me.”
“I like talking to you.”
She looked down at her hands. “Max, I’ve accepted your apology. There’s no need to try and charm me.”
Max frowned. “I’m not. I’m merely making conversation. Is that not allowed? Do you wish to sit here for hours on end without us speaking?”
“No, of course not. I simply meant that you don’t have to … pretend.”
“Pretend what, exactly?”
“That you truly are a devoted husband.” She finally looked up at him. “You have behaved impeccably all week, and I’m very grateful for your support, but there’s no need to continue the charade.”
Max let that sink in and tried not to feel hurt. “I see. Perhaps when you get a moment, you’d be kind enough to write me a list of all the permissible things you require in a husband.”
She had the grace to look embarrassed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Which is why I recommended the list. One wouldn’t want one’s actions to be misinterpreted.” He paused. “For example, am I allowed to ask how you are feeling, or is that too intimate a question? Am I permitted in your bed?”
“You are being ridiculous.”
“No, I’m attempting to find out how you intend to make this marriage work. The marriage you wanted in order to restore your family’s reputation.” Max met her gaze. “We are legally tied together and need to find a way to coexist.”
“Not if you go back to London and leave me in Somerset.”
“Is that what you want?” Max asked.
“It isn’t about what I want. It’s about giving you your freedom, because I married you to safeguard my family’s future.”
“How very self-sacrificing,” Max said. “And how insufferably arrogant of you to decide that you know what I want.”
There was a tense pause while she glared at him. “You’re the one who asked me to make a list.”
“Then go ahead and write one.” Max glared right back at her. “And, by the way, do you have any good novels in that reticule of yours? It appears that I’ll need something to do to pass the time.”
“Please, help yourself.” She dumped her reticule on the seat beside him.