Chapter 23 Emilio
EMILIO
Emilio wasn’t trying to punish Olivier, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. If he spoke, he’d have to face reality. He’d have to confront the truth he was desperate to run from.
Olivier’s memories can’t be fixed.
He hadn’t said a word since they’d found the second key and map, since they had left the decrepit house and exposed their innermost secrets. And as they’d continued hiking eastward, the awkwardness of the moment had lingered, following Emilio like a nagging fly.
Based on the new map, the third and final key was about a day’s hike away, dangerously close to Blackwood’s perimeter, and Emilio had committed himself to silence until they got there.
Olivier had tried to speak to him, blabbering on and on about Analisa’s diagnosis, and how he’d wanted to tell him, but had been too scared, and not that it mattered anyway because what good would come out of him knowing…
Despite Olivier’s ramblings, Emilio refused to believe there wasn’t a way out. A way to save Olivier. They’d come too far. They’d fought against the hand of fate and won. And now he was meant to simply let Olivier slip away from him? To let him drift into oblivion?
There was no way. Not in this eternity.
Yet he still couldn’t bring himself to break the silence, swept away by the current of his own thoughts. In his defense, Olivier hadn’t spoken in a while either, simply trudging along beside Emilio, his gaze anchored to the ground.
It didn’t help that the stretch of forest they were walking through sent an ominous chill down Emilio’s spine.
It was unnerving. An unrelenting fear had blossomed in the back of Emilio’s mind, a strange feeling that the trees could hear them, that carved within their gray trunks were a set of eyes watching them, trailing them.
We see you, they seemed to whisper with every flutter of their leaves.
A swell of relief rushed through Emilio as the group stumbled upon a small clearing; he was grateful for the momentary pause from the suffocating greenery.
But his relief was short-lived, because it was at that same moment that Olivier came to an abrupt halt, finally breaking the tension between them.
“You can’t ignore me forever.”
Emilio froze midstride. The rest of the crew continued forward, leaving Olivier and Emilio behind in the clearing as they slipped back into the shadowy depths of the forest. A gentle breeze ruffled the leaves of the crooked branches surrounding them, a light whistle breaking through the silence.
“Say something,” Olivier whispered, arms crossed, index finger drumming against his bicep. “Please.”
Emilio dug his fingernails into the palm of his hands.
He wanted to speak, but the words were trapped, drowned out by the panic and hurt.
And truthfully, he was afraid that if he did try to speak, if he tried to unravel the complexity of his emotions and say how he felt, he’d only break down in a puddle of tears.
“Fine,” Olivier muttered. “If you don’t want to talk, then at least listen.
” He sucked in a sharp breath, wringing his hands as he continued.
“I know I shouldn’t have lied to you. I know that was wrong.
But there was no way I was going to turn around and let you finish the expedition by yourself.
If you had gone on without me and something had happened to you…
” He shook his head, voice wavering. “How the hell would you have expected me to forgive myself?”
Emilio’s resolve finally shattered. “And what about me?”
Olivier flinched at the harshness in Emilio’s words. “I don’t…I don’t understand—”
“You aren’t the only one who wants to protect the people he cares about,” Emilio snapped, his voice torn and rough.
“You aren’t the only one who has something to lose.
” He couldn’t stop the words now that they had been released, a splintering crack breaking open into a gaping fissure.
“I may not be the strongest of the crew, or the bravest, but I would put my soul on the line if it meant keeping you safe. I wouldn’t even have to think about it.
You are…you are my soul. And I decided a long time ago that I have no interest in an eternal existence if it doesn’t include you in it. ”
Olivier stepped toward him, frantic, delicately cupping Emilio’s face with his hands. Emilio wanted to lean into his touch, to let himself be held, but his better judgment kept him from listening to his instincts.
“I know,” Olivier whispered, nodding. “I know.”
“Then answer me,” Emilio muttered, fighting back the stubborn tears welling behind his eyes. “How do you expect me to forgive myself if something happens to you? How do you expect me to—to breathe?”
Olivier shook his head, panicked. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Emilio cursed. “Olivier. Your memories—”
“—are fading,” Olivier interjected, nodding.
“I know. But maybe we’ll find a way to stop it.
Hell, maybe the True Headmaster will know a way to reverse it.
The truth is—I don’t know. None of us do.
But what I do know is that there is nothing in this universe that will keep me from you.
” Olivier bent down, placing his forehead against Emilio’s. “Nothing.”
Emilio sighed, succumbing to the warmth of Olivier’s presence. He stepped closer, placing his hand upon Olivier’s chest, balling the fabric of his shirt in his fist. He held him there, the moment stretching between them.
“Must you be so stubborn?” Emilio whispered, the faintest hint of a smile in his voice.
Olivier chuckled, sniffling. “I’m afraid so.” He pulled back an inch or so, clearing his throat. His emerald eyes softened, trailing up and down Emilio’s face. “You…you must know…everything I did, everything I’ve ever done…it’s all for you.”
If Emilio’s soul had suddenly ceased to exist in that very moment, he would have drifted into oblivion with a smile on his face.
“No more secrets?”
Olivier looped his pinky around Emilio’s. “No more secrets.”
As they continued forward, catching up with the others, a thought threaded its way into Emilio’s mind.
A newfound determination. He knew now, more than ever, that nothing would keep the two of them apart.
Even if Olivier found himself swept away by the Forgetting.
Even if he was stolen from this world and thrown into another.
Wherever Olivier’s soul went—Emilio would follow.