3. Alessia
CHAPTER THREE
ALESSIA
I ’m staring, dumbfounded at the words coming out of my father’s mouth. I look at my mom and she won’t meet my stare. The room is quiet and I’m sure my jaw is on the fucking floor.
“Papa…”
“Alessia, it’s what’s best for you.”
“I will not marry Astor .”
“Yes, yes you will.”
I look at Astor and he’s grinding his teeth; he does that when he’s pissed. And I’m sure he’s so pissed that if he grinds any harder, he’s going to crack his tooth.
“I haven’t even graduated college. You promised me you’d let me find love. You promised me I wouldn’t have to marry someone I hate.” I glare at Astor when I say that and he raises his eyebrow at me.
“You two know each other inside and out. You say you hate each other, but neither of you can keep your eyes off each other when you’re in the same fucking room. Astor has ran every goddamn boyfriend off you’ve had. Every time you think you’re getting an inch; he takes a mile and you haven’t even realized it. What happened to your last boyfriend, figlia ?”
I frown at him bringing Zander up.
“He moved…he didn’t want to do long distance.” He shakes his head and smirks, looking at Xavier.
“He didn’t move, Alessia. Astor beat the poor fucker to a pulp when he found him kissing another girl at Redcrest,” Xavier tells me.
I shake my head and tears well in my eyes as Xavier continues to speak. I don’t hear anything he’s saying. I stand up and the world starts spinning. I reach out for the chair to steady myself, but the next thing I know I’m on the floor and the world is black.
I think about all the information I just learned. Why would Astor hurt Zander if he was cheating on me? He can’t stand to be around me. If anything, I would’ve thought it brought him joy to see someone I loved, or thought I loved, betraying me. Then I’m flooded with the realization of what my father said to me. “Figlia, you’re going to marry Astor.” Yeah, like fuck I am. Thank God I fainted, because there was no way I could bear hearing anymore shit.
“She’s waking up. Give me the water.”
Astor .
I know it’s his voice before I open my eyes completely. Except it’s not cold, it’s almost nurturing, warm and laced with worry.
“She didn’t fucking eat. You were just letting her get hammered without shoving food down her throat. What did you expect?” he asks. I groan as I feel arms pulling me up. I try to yank away from him, but he tightens his hold on my arm.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You fucking fainted.”
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
“Yeah, because my family is insane and thinks I’m marrying a dick of a human being, who has no feelings and lives to make me feel like a blip in his life.” I look up at him and he smirks down at me. He scoops me up in his arms and I frown. “I can walk, put me down.”
He ignores me as usual and sits me on the couch, pushing a glass of water in my face.
“Drink,” he orders. I open my mouth to protest until I see him grinding his teeth again. I slowly grab the water out of his hand and tilt it to my mouth. “Good girl,” he says, crouching in front of me. My breath hitches and I bite the inside of my cheek. Why is my stomach suddenly feeling warm in the bottom after hearing that? I should not be affected by two words coming out this devil’s mouth, but fuck if I’m not.
My dad clears his throat behind us and I look up at him, scowling. Behind him is my drop-dead gorgeous mother, Eleanor Ballerini, her long hair and bright green eyes full of unshed tears, looking at me. She puts her hand on my father’s shoulder and his eyes immediately soften as they find hers. They’re the epitome of love, so is Xavier and Astrid. They all love each other so hard, so it’s unbelievable to me that they won’t allow me to search for the same love.
“Let me talk to her,” my mom says.
“I don’t want to talk,” I protest.
“She’s your mother. And you will talk to her,” my papa says with that same glare again. I roll my eyes, looking down at the water in my hand and a still crouching Astor. He looks at my father who raises an eyebrow in challenge.
“Don’t fucking speak to her like that, Ander. If she doesn’t want to fucking talk, you aren’t going to make her,” Astor says. My father opens his mouth when my mother speaks over him.
“ Figlia, please,” my mom says as Astor turns to face me.
“Talk to her, then I’ll take you home,” he whispers to me. I’m dumbfounded, yet again. Why is he being nice to me? He doesn’t like talking to me, yet alone touching me. And he’s done all those things today.
“Fine,” I say leaning back into the couch. He and my father leave me and my mother alone. I see Elsi peeking around the corner and Astor yanks her away with him. I’m sure if anyone is happy about this shitshow of an arrangement, it’s her. Now that I think about it, no one at the table seemed surprised besides me. It was like everyone knew except me. Everyone knew my fucking future except me.
“Sweetheart…” My mom reaches for my hand, but I slide it away from her. She sighs and turns towards me. “Please look at me.” Tears well in my eyes as I turn to her as her tears already spill down her face. “I know this is a lot and I know you have questions. But we are doing this because we love you.”
“You’re making me marry someone who barely can stand the sight of my face. We don’t want this. Why are you making me do this?”
“We all see what you and Astor are too stupid or proud to admit and see yourselves. Look me in my eyes and tell me that you don’t want to do this with him.”
I open my mouth to say words that I thought I believed, but nothing comes out. What the fuck is happening here? I hate him. I hate how cold he is. I hate how distant he is. I hate how he ignores my presence. I hate how he doesn’t care about me. Fuck, I hate that he doesn’t see me.
“ Figlia , listen to me. You both have two months to figure out if you truly hate each other or if you have spent your whole lives running away from the one person who understands you inside and out. If you aren’t happy at the end, I’ll make sure you are free of him. I promise.”
“Don’t make me marry him, Mama, please. I’ll do it, I’ll do the two-month trial, but please don’t make me get married just to get divorced. Don’t take that from me.” She pats my leg and pulls me into her side as I silently cry.
How the hell did my night turn into this? Why am I so angry that Astor was nice to me? Why am I so angry that he didn’t get as upset as I did? And why am I suddenly so anxious to ask him those exact questions?
My parents’ house has always been a serene place. My mother made sure to decorate it to feel at home regardless of how big it was. My favorite place to come was the balcony in my room. It’s decorated with white lights and has a small reading nook with a lounge chair in the corner, overlooking the backyard. I let out a sigh and sank into the chair, tucking my legs underneath me and tugging a blanket over my lap. The night is chilly, but I don’t mind the breeze right now. I don’t understand what everyone is trying to accomplish—we’re going to rip each other apart.
“Les? You, ok?” I look over my shoulder and see Elsi standing in the door frame. I give her a small smile and nod. “Can I sit with you?”
“Of course, you can.” She slowly sits down and I chuckle at her. “I take it that you knew about this, judging by how apprehensive you are right now?”
Elsi lets out a deep breath and plays with her fingers in herlap, something that we have in common. We’ll both fiddle our fingers when we’re uncomfortable.
“I overheard the conversation before dinner, but I didn’t know before tonight. I promise, don’t be mad at?—”
“Elsi, I’m not mad at you. Even if you did know, I know your father and brother well enough to know that you would’ve had no say in it, either. Even though I know you’re secretly happy as shit right now.” She bites her lip to hide her smirk before she turns to me.
“Look, I know this is insane and I’m sure I’ll have my turn in a few years. But just give it a chance. I know you two don’t get along, but he needs you. More than you know. He needs someone who has his back, someone that will support him and be there for him. I mean really be there for him. And even though it’s forced, I know at the end of the day, you’d never turn your back on him. Please, Les, try. Just try.”
For only being eighteen, she sure as fuck knows how to manipulate someone. I glance away from her and she pulls my hands into hers as my eyes fill with tears, knowing that I have no choice in the matter. That at the end of the day, I always do what my father tells me to do. I thought I’d be able to rely on my mother for help in this, but for some reason it’s the same story with her, despite the two-month trial. I don’t understand why everyone is so caught up on this forced marriage. I’m just hoping my father will agree to the two-month trial my mom proposed instead of the real thing.
Elsi’s voice wrenches me out of my own sorrow. I smile at her and she tilts her head at me.
“It’ll be a blast, we’ll probably even see each other more. So, please, just promise me you’ll give it a chance?”
I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and playfully nudge her.
“Elsi, I don’t have a choice.”