15. Alessia
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ALESSIA
H e’s looking at me weird, like extremely weird , and the only thing worse than not having Astor’s attention, oddly, is having his attention. His stare is overwhelming, is non-forgiving, and is brutal. He stares at me for what feels like hours before I clear my throat, willing myself to speak.
“Why are you staring at me?” I ask.
“Why not?” he retorts.
“It makes me uncomfortable, like you can see straight through me or something.”
“ Little devil, I know every piece of you.” I pull at my jacket and he yanks me to him. “Like I know you do that when you’re nervous or uncomfortable.” I drop my hand from the jacket and glance up at him.
“I do not…”
“Lying isn’t becoming of you.”
“Don’t analyze me.”
“You’re not hard to read, malyshka .”
See, that’s the thing. I am hard to read—everyone thinks so. My mother would always get so upset with me growing up because she said she couldn’t figure me out. She always said that she wished I’d open up more, that I’d wear a little more feelings on my sleeve. But Astor has always been able to read me, for as long as I can remember. I never had to hide things from him because he always knew.
“What did you mean earlier? When you dropped me off?”
It’s been taunting me since he said it, I have to know what he meant. I can’t read him as well as he can read me, and I’m tired of acting like I don’t want him. Of acting like I’m strong enough to continue to deal with the hate he gives me.
“Nothing,” he says, rubbing his finger across my cheek. My body shivers at his touch and I don’t know if it’s from the cold or him.
“Astor…tell me, please.” He closes his eyes and I take the moment to lean into him more, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Open your eyes, Astor.” He groans and tilts his head back, looking towards the sky. I urge him to look at me, staring at him, knowing he can feel my gaze. “If you won’t tell me, at least stop treating me so vile, like you hate me. It’s ripping me apart when I know there was a time that we were inseparable. Acting like I hate you is exhaus—” He cuts me off gripping my face and planting a searing kiss on my lips. A kiss that is so good my goddamn knees buckle. And I’m not being funny; they actually fucking buckle. He wraps his hand around my waist, holding me up.
“Ok?” he asks as I nod, leaning back into him, not wanting the kiss to be over. He lifts me and pushes me against a tree that sits right off the trail. I wrap my legs around him and welcome the pain shooting through my back as the tree bark digs into my jacket. “I can’t give you the answers right now. You have to figure those out for yourself, but I can fuck you. Because I can’t stop myself anymore. And I don’t fucking hate you. I never have.”
“Astor….”
“Shut up, Alessia. You need to understand that I am going to ruin you. Ruin you for any other man. You’ll want no one but me, regardless of how much you hate me. I’ll be all you fucking want.”
Fuck. Me.
I must be insane, certifiably insane, because I believe every word he says and yet I still nod my head yes. He growls as he rips open my jacket, practically yanking it off me. His eyes are hungry and the way he licks his lips heightens the feeling of wetness that’s starting to gather between my legs. As if he’s reading my mind, he digs his hands in the front of my leggings. My breath hitches and I honestly think I’ll faint when he pushes his fingers into my embarrassingly wet pussy.
“No underwear? Hmm…bad fucking girl, malyshka .”
If not wearing panties makes me bad, then I’m the baddest fucking woman alive because I hate wearing them. They’re uncomfortable and can mess up a perfect outfit with those horrendous lines.
He pushes his fingers in and out of me, and I let out a tiny whimper. His fingers feel like they belong to a giant at this moment. When he adds a third in, I think I’ll explode right here and now.
“So fucking tight around my fingers. I can’t wait to see how this pussy will strangle my cock.” If I wasn’t into dirty talk before, I am now because holy fucking shit . This man.
I push myself against his fingers, forcing him to push inside deeper, and he groans. He pushes me harder against the tree and runs his hand through my hair, tugging me to look at him. If this is what his fingers feel like, I have no fucking idea how I’ll be able to take his cock. He speeds up his pace and I feel my body tensing.
“Astor…Astor,” I moan as he gently bites my ear.
“There you go, ride my fingers. Come all over them.” And I do, I come so hard, fisting his shirt as I do. “ Goddamn , you are beautiful when you come, malyshka .”
“That was…I’ve never… fuck I can’t even talk.” He chuckles and I groan as he pulls his fingers out of me and shoves them in his mouth. He’s giving me a piercing stare as he licks his fingers clean. He tilts my face up to his stare and I swallow uncomfortably.
“You’ve never what? You’ve never made yourself come?”
I shake my head. “I have toys, but they just never did the job. And I don’t know what I like because I’ve never had sex before.” He flinches at me mentioning my virginity; he seems to be on edge anytime I bring it up. I’m suddenly feeling in over my head. I know I can’t amount to the girls he’s probably been with. Girls who are experienced and know how to please him. “Sorry, I know you’re used to girls who know what they’re doing.” He ignores me as he slowly pulls my leggings up and lowers my legs on the ground. I bite my lip and look past him.
“Do you see any other woman here?” he asks. I continue my gaze past him and he cups my cheek. “Look at me.” He turns my face to him, but I can’t because I’ll want more and I also don’t want him to elaborate on any other person he’s been with. But fuck, that just wasn’t enough. I close my eyes and he chuckles. I press my legs together as I feel his gaze raking over me. I peek an eye open and he raises his eyebrow at me. “You want more, malyshka ?”
“Yes…”
“Hmm…” He runs his finger over the bottom of my lip and I shiver. “Run,” he whispers. “And when I catch you, I’ll fuck you.”