29. Alessia
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
ALESSIA
A stor is deafly silent on the drive back to his house. Him and our fathers disappeared for about two hours and it’s circling golden hour now. I hadn’t planned to be at my parents practically all day, but that’s what happened. It felt good to talk about the wedding and not want to kill myself for the first time. Astor seemed more relaxed, too, but when he came back from my father’s study, he was quiet. Still touching me, but quiet. It was like I could see the wheels in his head turning. He was figuring a lot of shit out in his head and it was eating me alive not knowing what was torturing him.
I’m debating on questioning him when he pours himself a drink and throws it back before filling another. “Want one?” he asks, grabbing another glass.
“Sure. What are we drinking to?” I ask as I watch him fill it up with an amber liquid.
“To never losing each other again,” he says, looking down. I frown and circle the island, standing in front of him.
“Again?” I question, wrapping my arms around his waist. He still hasn’t looked at me. I lean into him and when he finally looks up, his eyes are brimmed red and glossy.
Is he… crying ?
What the actual living fuck is going on….
“Astor? What’s wrong?”
I become panicked. I’ve never seen him like this.
“You didn’t do anything…when you were sixteen, you didn’t do anything to me. I just started being mean. Something happened that I couldn’t handle. But you didn’t do anything .”
“What happened?”
“I can’t tell you that, you have to figure it out on your own. If I tell you, it’ll mess everything up.” I frown at his words and loosen my grip from his waist. He looks down at my arms and wraps his around mine, hauling me on top of the island to stand between my legs.
“Mess everything up? I don’t understand.”
“You will, soon. I promise. But right now, just focus on us getting married in six fucking days.”
“You didn’t seem too upset about it earlier…” I say, leaning into his touch as he runs his hand down my cheek.
“Because I’m not. I never was.” I’m shocked, because I remember that day at dinner. I remember him grinding his teeth. I remember how mad he was. I tilt my head to the side and he leans his head against mine.
“But you were mad. The sound of your famous teeth grinding is engraved in my head to prove it.”
“I was mad because you didn’t want it. I was mad because you honestly thought that there was someone else out there for you. Someone out there who could handle the life we live and love you how you need to be loved.”
“And you think you can do all of that?”
“I already am,” he says, planting a searing kiss on my lips. My lips physically feel like they’ve caught on fire and I don’t want to put it out.
“Why can’t we have strippers, again?” Caro whines as we pack up the car.
“Because my fiancé and your boyfriend are batshit crazy, and if they find out some rando is grinding his fucking dick in my face, they’ll kill him. Besides, it’s my bachelorette party for my forced wedding. It’s fine, I’m sure I’ll have another.” She punches me in my arm and I laugh. “I’m just joking, fuck.”
“Look, seriously. I know this isn’t what you wanted—I know this isn’t what either of you wanted—but you were made for each other, ok? You’re so happy. I know you think you’re just dealing, but I know you, Les. He makes you happy. You could’ve been married off to someone way worse.”
“I know, I’m going to try. I promise.” We climb into the car and head to Xavier’s and Astrid’s to pick up Elsi.
“Do you know where they’re going?” I ask Caro while I search for a song to play. She tilts her sunglasses down and glares at me.
“Bitch, don’t be desperate. It’s forty-eight hours apart, you’ll be fine.” I roll my eyes at her and she laughs.
Elsi is standing outside waiting with her bag when we get there. We had to fight Astor and Xavier to let her come to the bachelorette getaway—and it wasn’t an easy fight. But we won anyway.
“Let’s fucking goooo. I’m ready,” she says hopping in the car. I laugh at her and she kisses me on the cheek.
“How many guards are following us?”
“Only two, which is better than the six they originally had.” I shake my head as we pull out and head for Bucks County, Connecticut. I made Caroline promise to plan a soothing and calm bachelorette party, because this whole thing has been anything but that.
“I can’t wait for a massage; my body is so fucking sore. Justin sure knows his way around it, that’s for sure.”
“Over fucking sharing Caro,” Elsi says. And I laugh, because it’s exactly what Astor tells Justin.
These next two days will be exactly what I need before my life and my last name changes.