49. Alessia
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
ALESSIA
I guess Caroline was right, I can use Astor to get myself off. And my God, did he get me off. I still hate that he has that power over me. I hate that even his voice can take me there. Watching myself was something I never thought I’d do; it was fucking hot. I looked fucking hot, and when I saw him with his cock in his hand, I thought I’d come all over again. Who knew watching a man jack himself off could be so arousing?
I know he expected me to invite him into the shower, but when he started stripping out of his clothes, I shook my head at him and he groaned.
His eyes were on me so hard when I got out of the shower that I struggled to hold my smirk back.
Alessia: 1
Astor: 0
I check the clock as I yawn, grabbing one of his shirts out of habit. I stop and shake my head before putting it back in the drawer and grabbing one of my own. Smelling him is not a good idea right now. I’m still not ready to let him know that I’m not mad at him. Seeing him so attentive and on edge is making me feel more powerful than I should. That sounds so fucked up, but I feel more empowered when he’s mopping around for my forgiveness and attention.
I decided when I spoke to my mother that she’s right—if she can forgive my father, I can forgive Astor for keeping a secret that he felt he had no choice but to keep. I can choose to respect the fact that he wanted to tell me and just couldn’t. But when I do finally put him out of his misery, he needs to understand that if he keeps anything else from me, we’re done. I don’t care what his intentions were or why he kept it from me, but we won’t live our lives keeping secrets from each other.
I’m about to lay my head down when I hear the front gate buzzer. Usually, I ignore it; because if they’re allowed in, then the guards push them through. But when I hear it go off for a fourth time, I decide to pull the live feed up on my screen and see what the issue was.
I smirk. Not what the issue is but who the issue is. I hover over the green light on my phone, pressing it and watching the car drive in.
“It’s fine. I’ll handle it,” I tell the guard through the speaker. It’s the one I hit in the dick. Terrible way to be remembered, but it works.
I peek into the bathroom and Astor is still showering. This is the perfect time for me to test my limits. The perfect time for me to see if I have the control I want and need before going after Miles.
I look down at myself and change into one of Astor’s shirts, because why the fuck not? With what I’m planning to do, I need to make every rule clear. Every boundary understood.
I’m happy with myself by the time I open the front door to let my guest in. I’m happy with myself when my guest’s smile drops the moment their eyes land on me. I’m happy with myself when I draw my fist back and slam it into their face. And I’m especially happy with myself when I don’t use the knife laying on the counter to slit their fucking throat.
“Hi, Anna. I was hoping you’d come back to visit,” I say, getting eye level with her.
“You crazy bitch, you broke my nose! Do you have any goddamn idea how much this cost?”
“Ahh, tsk tsk. I don’t give a fuck. What I do give a fuck about is why, after I clearly told you to stay away from Astor, you decided to come back. I also care about the fact that you touched him, again . And my personal favorite that I care about, is how you even came back when he kick you the fuck out and told you not to show your face here again.”
“You don’t know him; you’ll never make him happy.” I look down at my hand, suddenly upset that I took my ring off on our wedding night. I was so upset that I abandoned it. I laid it on the counter and saw his face when he picked it up later that night. I never asked for it back, just watched where he put it for when I was ready for it. But in this moment, I feel naked, like I left him. Like I let him down. All of the emotions hit me at once. But I don’t dare show it on my face. Instead, I swipe the blade off the kitchen counter, grab one of the kitchen stools, and slam her in it before dropping in front of her and grabbing her hand. I look down at her infamous red nails and grin at the idea in my head.
“This will hurt,” I warn before yanking one of her nails off. She tries to scream, but I quickly cover her mouth with my hand. The last thing I need is Astor seeing me do this. He’ll think I’m over the edge when really, I’m just testing my limits before I fry my bigger fish.
“Now, I’m deciding to be nice. I’m going to simply cut off one finger, just one , to remind you never to fucking touch him again.” She struggles against my hand as she furiously shakes her head. “Sorry, this isn’t optional. I can’t have women walking around here thinking it’s ok to touch what doesn’t belong to them; especially after they’ve been warned. Hold your hand still for me, please. I don’t want to accidentally take two off.” The fear in her eyes kick up a notch when I lower the knife to her skin. Her eyes clam shut and I hover over her skin for a little longer. When she opens her eyes, I smirk and in one swift motion, I slice through her finger, tightening my grip over her mouth to silence her pain-filled screams. The satisfaction that comes from me seeing her bleed is enough to make me wonder if something is seriously wrong with me. The thought quickly dissipates when I see her pale. I slap against her face and sigh in frustration.
“Oh, come on! Don’t faint, that’s no fun!” Not even a second later, she’s out and I’m annoyed. I grab a bag, fill it with ice, and stuff her finger inside before picking up the phone to call Todd.
“Mrs. Pavlov, everything ok?”
“Could you come to the kitchen for a second, please? I’m in need of help with...” I glance at Anna as she starts to groan. “…something.”
“Right away.”
I yank her up, forcing her eyes to open and stare at me. When she looks down at her bloody hand, she gags and I tilt my lip up in disgust.
“If you vomit on me, I’ll be so pissed.”
“Mrs. Pavlov, you needed help?” Todd asks, stepping into the kitchen. He takes in the scene in front of him and looks from Anna to me. I hold up the bag with her finger in it and smirk.
“Todd, oh so great Todd, would you be so kind as to drive Anna here to our hospital? I’m afraid she won’t be able to stay conscious long enough to get herself there. It’d be a shame if she isn’t able to get this finger stitched back on.”
I’m surprised when I see Todd’s mouth tip up a fraction before he reaches and takes my place, holding Anna up.
“Of course, Mrs. Pavlov.” Anna frowns at him and turns to me. She tries to speak, but Todd is practically dragging her to the door.
“Wait, Mrs ?” she croaks out.
I chuckle. “Yup. He’s my husband. Bye bye, now!” I slam the door shut and sag against the door, suddenly filled with so much pride. I did it. I didn’t kill her when I really fucking wanted to.