Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
TRISTAN
It’s after lunch, and Lexi and Jem are not in the office.
They’re seeing guests off as they leave for Dar es Salaam on the floatplane.
Yesterday I had only half a batch of divers before the wedding, and today there were none, as you can’t fly within twenty-four hours of diving.
Roger and I jumped on the opportunity to dive this morning, which leaves me the afternoon for my editing work and my night free for Lexi.
If only I could wangle it like this every day.
Just thinking of her and last night makes my cock twitch in anticipation.
Watching her come apart under my hand is a visual I don’t plan to file away—ever.
To wake up next to her and pull her warm, naked body into my arms was life-affirming.
We overslept, and Lexi had to get going for her morning meeting, but every promise was there in that moment.
Thinking about anything else is…um, hard.
I force myself to do so as I sit down at Lexi’s desk and make quick work of logging in to my email and social media feeds. I quickly check what’s plotting on the platforms where I have my biggest following and reply to some comments, making mental notes about questions to come back to.
When I open my inbox, there’s the usual flood of messages. Among all those from colleagues, the one from Dad stands out like a sore thumb. I glance through it. Hmm… Wife number three is pregnant, but they’ve already decided to call it quits and are getting divorced.
“Luckily this one was so short that the prenup isn’t stripping me naked.”
I chuckle dryly, feeling no joy at his news either way.
But there’s something in it for wife number three with the child support.
My dad might be a dick, but he pays his dues.
Kids are pawns that force people to make moves they don’t necessarily want to make.
After my arrival, Mom forced Dad to choose between his first family and his second.
We all know how that ended—with me being cornered one day by wife number one, when I was six, and told I’d destroyed her marriage.
That I was the reason her sons were growing up in a broken home, and she pretty much wished I were dead.
I never told anybody about that, because nobody listened to me in the first place.
But the notion of being a destructive force when it comes to love has stood the test of time.
Dad doesn’t seem heartbroken. He’s probably moved on already.
Some people love the high of falling in love and making vows, and they’ll take the crash that follows any day for those few months of bliss.
I’ll have yet another half-brother or sister I’ll never get to know.
Kids are mere collateral damage, encouraged to repeat this fucked-up cycle ad infinitum.
I won’t buy into it. Listening to those vows at the wedding yesterday had me all clenched up.
For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.
The idea of lifelong love is the biggest lie sold to the world in yet another moneymaking scam.
I’ll share my life with the sea: the one thing that isn’t going anywhere and has never failed me. The one thing I can’t destroy by being in it—the one thing I can save by being there and documenting life. This series I’m making is my love letter to the ocean.
Dad doesn’t ask how I’m doing or how things are, nor does he mention Lexi or her case his firm is working on. I’m still thinking about how to reply to him when Evan pops into my chat box.
Evan
Bro! You’re online!
I laugh.
Me
Yeah. Have the afternoon open for once.
It’s morning on that side of the world, and I bet Evan just got back from his run.
Evan
How are things going with your filming?
Me
Great. Will be able to wrap up before we leave.
Evan
And Lexi?
Me
She’s fine. No complaints.
Evan doesn’t need to know I’m planning to make her moan for all the right reasons this evening.
Evan
You two aren’t butting heads?
Me
Nope. All’s good.
We might be up to other things, but I’ll just leave it at that.
Evan
Heads up. Word is out that Mia Reed’s video has dropped on several porn sites. I’ll track it down and let you know where to look.
Fuck.
Me
You haven’t seen it?
Evan
Nope. It’ll do the rounds soon enough. They might have edited Lexi out. Or not. Either way, look out for her, will you? She’s going to be upset.
ME
Always. If it’s only on porn sites, though, she won’t have access from here.
Evan
Is that so? You been trying to watch something or what? Got flagged by Beaumont in Paris? You should know better, dude.
I smirk. Here sits a man who needs no porn. Trust me, Evan won’t get it, because Lexi is his sister, but I’m one hell of a lucky guy right now.
Me
You sound kinda desperate there, bro. You do you. Don’t worry about me.
Lexi and Jem’s voices drift over, and I glance to the open door. My time is up, and I send a last quick word to Evan.
Me
Gotta run. Keep me posted.
I rush to log off as Lexi and Jem walk into the office. My pulse spikes with adrenaline now that I know for sure the Mia Reed bomb has finally dropped. For weeks I’ve watched Lexi agonize over it, and it’s been eating at me too.
She smiles as they enter the office, but as she comes closer, that surge of protectiveness I always feel around her clamps tight around my heart. I want to protect her, at all costs, from every possible onslaught, whatever form it might take.
That night five years ago, this feeling dictated my every move, my every decision, even the one of walking away.
I had to protect her from myself, from the man I saw myself becoming.
I wasn’t proud. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror.
I was becoming like him. And here we are, going around this sex-business as if it’s a bit of fun on the side.
Only this time, I won’t be able to walk away from her.
“Oh, here you are. We’ve been looking for you,” Lexi says as I get up from her desk, feeling somewhat unsteady with the force of this feeling and the realization that hit me square between the eyes. Fuck. And how the hell do I protect her from this shitshow of a tornado coming her way?
With a hard swallow, I focus on Jem, who seems to have a permanent scowl on her face. “I was just catching up on some emails.”
“You’re done?” Lexi says.
“Yep.”
“A couple of guests want to go for a last snorkel,” she tells me as I scoot to the side. “Can you go with them? Roger is already kitting them out.”
“They’ve mentioned whale sharks,” Jem says, still studying me as if I’m a bug under her microscope. “Hope you’re up for it.”
“Of course.” Why wouldn’t I be? As I shoulder past Lexi, I capture her fingers in mine, and she smiles.
Seeing her hurt is going to break me, and there’s no stopping this freight train.
Lexi needs to know about the video, but not in front of Jem, of all people.
Maybe I can save her the distress until another day.
If the video has only dropped on porn sites, it could take some time for it to reach a wider audience. “The first batch of guests are gone?”
“Phew. Yes. Just waved Matthias de Foch off.”
“Good.” For all the ways De Foch pissed me off, I have him to thank for pushing us to address our past. Without his invitation to a threesome, Lexi might never have been so bold as to flirt with me, which led to other things…
I want to wrap her in my arms and whisper that I’m here, whatever comes her way, and I’ll always be here if she needs me, but Jem sits down at her desk with an exaggerated sigh.
“We have a bit of a breather,” Lexi says as she squeezes my fingers again. “New guests are arriving tomorrow.” She leans in and whispers into my ear, “Maybe you have time for a few spa photos in the morning? Like, really early?”
I nod, but follow her lead in not discussing the spa’s future in front of Jem.
“That’s hardly a breather.” It’s all on the whiteboard that covers half the wall, and by the look of it, things aren’t slowing down yet.
“Any arrivals we need to look out for?” I turn to Jem with a hitched eyebrow.
She knows everything, doesn’t she? And the best way to deal with her type is to soothe the ego.
“No repeaters,” Jem says. “The guests are all first-timers tomorrow.”
Lexi lets go of my hand as she sits. “The remaining guests are partied out, and we’ll have an early night tonight.”
“I’m planning on it, babes.” At my words, Lexi opens the middle drawer of her desk to reveal a box of condoms that seem to have been tossed in in such a rush that it slipped half out of the boutique’s paper tote. She looks up at me with that sweet blush and bites her lip.
I break out in a happy chuckle. “Not messing around now, are we?” I murmur, for her ears only.
“I plan to mess around a lot,” Lexi whispers back.
Lexi likes to take charge, that’s for sure, right up until the moment she hands it all over. Noted.
I drop my gaze to her lips. “I’m looking forward to it.”
I want to kiss her senseless right now, but Jem’s ever-watchful gaze is on us. We’re having a private conversation, and she can’t be bothered to pretend to be busy on her computer. No wonder Lexi feels Jem is on to us, or on to something. But why? What makes her the relationship police?
Regardless, a kiss would be the perfect move to prove we’re engaged.
Never mind that I want to kiss Lexi. I need to kiss her.
I brush my knuckles along her arm and reach for her chin, tilting her face to cover her lips with mine.
It’s a short but intense kiss, laden with promises of things to come. And it leaves Lexi speechless.
As I walk off, Jem forces a funny laugh that doesn’t sound natural. “So many private jokes, so many secrets. What are you two planning?” she says, loud enough to make sure I hear her.
Fuck. All I plan is to get it on with my fiancée. So why the hell does Jem make me feel like a criminal?