Chapter 42 #2
I peel off the last of my wetsuit and hand it to Roger. “Your turn.”
Roger says nothing, but strips to his swimsuit, and we scoot around and swap places. As soon as he’s wrangled the wetsuit on, I set the GPS directions and steer the dinghy in the direction of the next site.
While everybody else dives, I have the open ocean and the waves slapping at the dinghy’s side as white noise as I work through the mess in my head—and my life.
By the time the second dive is done and we’re on the way back to Ne’emba, my mind’s made up. It’s amazing how easy it is to make decisions when there’s only one thing you really care about—one person whose wants and needs you put way above your own.
The divers are tired and quiet on our way back. At full speed, the dinghy is noisy and bouncing, and people cling to the side straps. As soon as we hit the shore, I jump out. “Roger, see to the guests. I need to go check—”
Nathan’s eyes are on me, sizing me up. “Meet me and Roger for lunch,” he says. “I’ll help here, but we need to talk.”
“Sure.” So we’re still going to bang heads today.
I don’t care. I sprint down the beach, take the shortcut through the guest area, and head straight to our cottage.
I dig my fingers into my hair as I walk through the much-loved space.
It’s still a mess, and for once, nobody from housekeeping has been here.
None of Lexi’s things are in the bathroom. I head to the walk-in closet, blinded by emotion at seeing her side empty. She’s gone. Lexi has left for real. My chest tightens. My eyes find the piece of paper and the engagement ring left on top of it.
I pick it up, and the paper quivers in my hand as I read the lines. She loved her time here with me, but we had a hard cut-off date from the start, and now we don’t need to have that godawful awkward flight all the way home where we both try to get out of a sticky situation.
Fuck. Godawful awkward flight? Sticky situation? Lexi’s one-upped me, using my own age-old strategy of running away before things get too serious.
I lower the letter to the desk and pick up the ring. It looked so perfect on her hand, and I loved seeing it on her finger. I’d subconsciously claimed her as mine before I even understood what she meant to me.
The only reason Lexi ran is because she has no clue how I feel about her. She would never have gone if I’d told her I love her. And she has to love me too, because why else would she flee like this?
This isn’t it. We’re not done. No. We’ve just started. Only one thing is going to happen once I’ve dealt with Nathan Beaumont and set things straight with Roger: I’m going to get my girl.
I take a quick shower and make my way to the guest area.
I spot Roger where he sits, clearly ill at ease, with Nathan at a table.
They’re having beers, and I signal a waiter to bring me one too.
I give Roger a look as I sit down. This is it, bud.
Drinks with the big boss only comes around once in a lifetime.
“How was the dive, Roger?” I ask.
“It went fine,” he says, not looking me in the eye. “The coastguard and police have left. They found nothing.”
“Of course they found nothing,” I huff. “That was a messed-up situation. Jem jumped to conclusions.”
Roger may have lost all respect for me, but I will negotiate to my last breath to get him the life he wants, the life he deserves with Deshni and their baby.
“So…” Nathan begins before I can say anything else. “We have a half-qualified dive-master-in-the-making and a rogue oceanographer trying to make a buck on the side.”
I almost spit my beer out. “It’s not about the money. It’s never been about the money.” Hell, if only he knew what a money-drain this project ended up being.
“No?” Nathan raises his eyebrows.
“This TV series is Tristan’s love letter to the sea,” Roger says with a frown. “Like me, he has salt water in his veins. When he says it isn’t about the money, it isn’t about the money.”
Thank you, Roger. I can’t believe the man is standing up for me.
Nathan smiles and raises his beer in salute. “Duly put in my place.”
“And Tristan has taken time to teach me, which nobody else has,” Roger elaborates.
An uninvited heat spreads over my cheeks. Must be too much sun from sitting on that boat for an hour.
“I see.” Nathan turns to me. “For now, I can’t let you film here, not without the legal paperwork in place.
But even if we give this the green light, it could ruin Ne’emba Island’s exclusivity.
The last thing we’ve wanted, from the start, is for the island and the reefs to be overrun by careless tourists.
Plus, if there’s money involved, the proceeds—”
“I had sponsorships for most of the other parts we filmed,” I cut in. “Nobody asked for proceeds. This is a nonprofit venture.”
“And yet you must be gaining something from it,” Nathan says. “Even if it’s something personal.”
I stall as my thoughts tumble over each other, falling flat.
Yes. This is personal. It’s always been personal.
I’ll gain my father’s acknowledgement. His pride in me.
His attention and time. His love. I’ve been working, waiting, begging for years for love from the one person who doesn’t know or care to give it.
That’s wasted time I’m never getting back.
“Honestly, the TV series is no longer important. I don’t care if I finish it.
What I do care about is Roger and his family.
I will make sure he gets his qualifications, even if I have to fly him over to Miami to do it.
” I take a deep breath and stand. “Nathan,” I say as I hold out my hand to him. “It’s been a privilege.”
Nathan stands too, and we shake. He chuckles drily as he cocks his brow, but he says nothing.
It riles me up that this man can read between all our lines.
Lines Lexi and I had written but didn’t even grasp the full meaning of until someone like him spelled it out for us.
I bet he knows I’m going to chase my fake fiancée.
“Walk with me, Roger. You two can talk later.”
“Excuse me for a moment, sir,” Roger says to Nathan.
“Sure, but do come back, Roger. We’ve a lot to discuss.”
For a minute, Roger and I walk in silence to the managers’ cottage, and the stress seeps out of me.
This is the beauty of making the right decision.
“I need to get all my equipment together and pack. I’m going to back up my phone and leave it for you.
I’ll see how I can get a laptop to you so you can start using it.
As for my cameras…” I take a mental tally of what I have, what I deem replaceable, and what are the absolute essentials Roger won’t be able to carry on without.
“In fact, I can leave my laptop and my second camera with you as a kickstarter. And I’ve backed everything up on my external hard drives, so I don’t need to have my laptop.
I want you to keep taking pictures right along with diving. ”
“You can’t do this,” Roger says, his eyes wide. “You’re crazy!”
“Sure I can.” Maybe I am a bit crazy, or maybe I’ve finally come to my senses. I’ve found the perfect solution for my untapped trust fund. “You, sir, are the first to receive a prestigious scholarship. I’ll set things up as soon as I have time.”
Money can’t buy you love, but it sure as shit can make things happen for other people.
Roger shakes his head, befuddled.
“This is me,” I say as we reach the cottage. “Please can you check with Mike to see if he’s available to take me to Pemba Island? I have to catch up with Lexi, stop being an idiot, and finally tell her how much I love her.”
“For real?” Roger says, a smile in his voice.
“For real. And once I’ve caught up with her, I’m never letting her go.”