Thirty-six
Anticipation and anxiety mixed sourly in Frances’s stomach the next morning, the day of the heist. Her anxiety felt different now—when she was younger, she would feel anxiety, but the excitement was what drove her.
And, obviously, she’d been healthy and thought herself invincible.
Stupid girl. This was still exciting, but the anxiety and her lack of stamina was making her terribly nauseous.
She popped another anti-nausea pill just in case.
She made herself a little care pack in case things went south—emergency numbers, medicine, and glasses. She couldn’t go to jail without glasses. She also decided she should call her loved ones. Just in case.
Marjorie would never forgive her if she didn’t get a proper goodbye.
“Hey!” Marjorie said, sounding delighted as she always did to hear from her. “How are you and the boy toy?”
“Marge.”
“Okay, Stefon.”
“He’s good. I’m good. How are you?”
“Wonderful! Ken is a fantastic lover—”
“Oh God,” Frances exclaimed. “Please don’t say more.”
“Guess what? I got our cabins close together for the cruise. I can’t tell you how much Ken and I are looking forward to it. Is Stefon?”
“Yes!” Frances said, wincing. “Very excited.” Even if they managed to pull off this heist, Frances doubted she would have the strength to go on the cruise, given how things were going. She cleared her throat. “Marge, I’ve been meaning to tell you something. You are a very good friend.”
Marjorie laughed. “I know that.”
“I’m serious. Just the best sort of friend. A true mensch. And … and I love you.”
“Well, I love you, too, Fran. I don’t know why you’re so sentimental all the sudden because you’re usually annoyed with me, but it’s nice to hear. Is everything okay?”
“Yep. Just wanted to say that.”
“You’re a good friend, too, sweetie. We’ll have lunch when you get back. I need pictures of the leaves and your guy!”
“Okay,” Frances said. “I’ll call you.”
“You better,” Marjorie said cheerfully. “Now, I’ve got to go. Ken and I are going shopping.”
After Frances hung up, she held her phone tight in her hand. She didn’t have the heart or the guts to call Aaron one last time. So she texted him. Hi Aaron, it’s your mom. Just checking in. Headed back to Houston in a couple of days.
He responded right away.
Okay. Don’t forget to book a flight. Jackie and I are looking forward to seeing you. TTYL.
She sent him a heart emoji in response.
With that done, the anxiety could really kick in to full gear. She went into the bedroom and found Edie sitting cross-legged on the floor, just gazing at the old safe door.
“You okay?” Frances asked.
“No. I’m going to blow this. That safe has five wheels, Franny. Five! I can hardly do three.”
It was strange to see Edie so nervous. She’d always been the one among them so certain about everything. So sure of herself. Some would even say dangerously overly confident. “You’ve got this, Edie.”
Edie shook her head. “I don’t know.” She turned her gaze from the safe door to Frances. “I’ll need you to write down the numbers I give you.”
“Anything you need.” France came down on the floor to sit next to Edie.
Edie took her hand. “How are you? Feeling okay?”
“Don’t start. I’m fine. I mean, my stomach is in knots, and I may be sick, but that’s just nerves. Otherwise, I’m fine.”
Edie squeezed her hand. “Okay, then, get out of here. I’ve got to try to crack this again or lose my mind worrying about it.”
Frances leaned over and hugged Edie. “We’re still the baddest bitches from New York.”
“Good Lord, the lies you tell yourself, Franny.”
Frances left Edie and went into the kitchen. Irene was there, her eyes glued to her computer screen.
“How’s it going?”
“Like clockwork. Our boy ordered breakfast this morning, so he’s alive. He hasn’t left the penthouse yet—probably too hungover. But Mark has been down to the vault.” She looked up. “Are you okay?”
“Yep. Feeling great.”
Irene frowned. “Seriously?”
“It is what it is, Irene. Where’s Joan?”
Irene looked Frances up and down, probably checking for any sign that she was going to die on the spot. “Hello,” Frances said.
“She’s out back.”
Frances walked to the kitchen window and looked out. Joan was moving through some kung fu moves. “She is surprisingly limber for her age,” Frances mused.
“And strong.”
“What about the smoke bombs?” Frances asked.
“In the box behind you.”
“So, there’s really nothing left to do.”
“Nothing to do but wait,” Irene said. “That was always the hardest part.”
So true. Frances left Irene in the kitchen and went into the living room. Marcy was there, lying on the couch, her gaze fixed on the ceiling.
“What’s up with you?” Frances asked.
“Huh?” Marcy looked at Frances as if she was just seeing her. “Nothing. Got a text from Rocco apologizing for last night.”
“That’s good news. Means he’s alive after all.”
“Yeah,” Marcy said weakly. “He’s putting my name on the list for the party at the Nest tonight. Apparently, it’s going to be packed. They’re doing a ball drop, like at New Year’s Eve when they make the switch.”
“That’s perfect.” Frances went to the window and looked out. “Just perfect.”
They spent the day like this, lost in their own thoughts. Joan made Frances drink a tonic she and Irene had created that they thought would help fight the cancer. Frances didn’t have the heart to refuse her.
At six, they met in the living room. Irene handed out rubber masks of the Rat Pack—Sammy Davis, Jr., Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Joey Bishop.
“What are these for?” Edie asked.
“If we get into trouble, put them on and run,” Irene said. “The moment you are in the clear, get your wig and old-lady clothes on, and ditch the security outfits.”
“Is there going to be time for that?” Frances asked.
Irene shrugged. “It’s better than nothing. Everyone have their burner phones? Their comms units? Their toy walkie-talkies?”
They all showed that they did.
They dressed—Joan, Frances, and Edie in security uniforms beneath T-shirts and sweats and wigs.
Marcy in another beautiful dress that showcased her legs.
Irene in her maid’s outfit. “The mistake they make in the movies is having thieves dress like supermodel cat burglars,” Irene mused. “No one ever looks at frumpy grandmas.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Edie said.
“Let’s go over the plan,” Joan said. “The power is set to go off just before midnight. Irene turns off the motion detectors. In the confusion, the three of us enter the hallway with the vault and safe. I smoke bomb the guards, then fight them while you slip into the vault.”
“Fight?” Marcy said.
“Well, hopefully not. Only if necessary. Once Edie cracks the safe, Irene comes in with the cart. We take the service elevator, and the boys will be waiting at the service entrance with the laundry van.”
“We’re doomed,” Edie said.
“Okay!” Irene said. “On that totally positive note, let’s go do our last heist.”
“Wait,” Frances said. She gestured them all together in a group hug. “It’s a big job. If we pull it off, no one ever worries about money again.”
“And Rocco Vitali gets his due,” Edie added.
“Last chance to pull out,” Joan reminded them.
Frances held her breath … but no one spoke. “Okay, then … Go out with a bang or die trying?”
“Or die trying,” they all said. “Except you, Fran,” Edie amended. “And if you do, just remember, this was your dumb idea anyway.”
They sent Marcy out in an Uber.
Fifteen minutes later, the van pulled up in front of the rental. The four of them climbed in and Todd shut the panel door behind them.
“Nice,” Irene said, looking around. “Good job, Franny.”
“Thanks.”
“Okay, Golden Girls,” Skinner said. “Everyone ready?”
They were as ready as they would ever be.