Chapter 52
Chapter Fifty-Two
RENLEY
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Tilly asks as she walks next to me.
“Sure,” I say, feeling the weight of failure resting on my shoulders.
I can’t muster up a smile, nor do I want to participate in conversation, but Tilly was adamant about getting me out of the house.
And because she’s letting me stay there for a bit, I thought I should at least take a walk with her.
“Do you mind if we walk by the candy shop real quick? I think I left my favorite brush in there and I can’t function without it.”
“What brush?” I ask as we head down the main street.
“My detail brush.”
“What did you need the detail brush for?”
“When I was painting the window.”
“You didn’t paint the window.”
“Yes, I did.”
“When?” I ask, completely confused, as we round the corner and the store comes into view. A red-and-white-striped valance hangs in the windows while the Rudder’s logo is painted on the glass, framed in gold paint, just like I talked about.
Seeing it makes my heart full, but also…sad.
“Tilly. Why…why did you do that?”
“Because.” She takes me by the hand and pulls me toward the store. “There’s something you need to see.”
“Tilly, I don’t want to go in there. There’s no use.”
“Just come on.”
She drags me across the street to the front door and knocks three times.
“What are you doing?” I ask just as the door opens, and standing in front of me, with the most handsome smile on his face, is Theo. My heart soars with happiness just at the mere sight of him. “Oh my God, Theo,” I say as I quickly wrap my arms around him and bury my head into his chest.
“Hey, Gossy,” he says softly while kissing the top of my head. “This is quite the welcoming.” I look up at him, tears welling in my eyes. “And here I thought for a moment that you were trying to find some distance.”
I shake my head. “Just…just haven’t been able to find the words to tell you that…” I get choked up as the reality of the situation comes to the forefront. “That I failed. I’m embarrassed and just…I’m sorry.”
He tilts my chin up. “Why are you sorry?”
“Because after everything you helped me with, everything you’ve done, I won’t be able to open the candy shop, and it just seems like I wasted your time.”
“What are you talking about, not being able to open the candy shop?” He spins me around and faces me toward the shop, where there are stacks upon stacks of candy boxes filling every single shelf and all the counter space.
From gummies, to lollipops, to chocolate bars, to gum, to jelly beans.
It’s all there, everything I’ve envisioned, even rolls of stickers.
“The way I see it,” he says, whispering in my ear, “we have some unpacking to do.”
I turn to face him, in utter shock as I say, “Theo, how?”
“There was a wholesale candy store in Boston. Lamar drove us up there and we purchased practically everything. Then we found a sticker store and got some rolls for pretty cheap. I know you envisioned so much more for that section, but at least it’s a place we can start.”
“And I put in an order for postcards,” Tilly says, stepping in. “So we should have a little more than just the stickers.”
“I…I can’t believe this. But what about the bathroom and…and the register and…”
“They’re all things we can figure out in the next few days.
Instead of wallpaper, we can just paint the bathroom walls for now.
Rupert is figuring out the register as we speak.
Lamar has a friend who wants to do a media piece on you for Wake Up Boston, and we are all here to help set everything up the way that you want it.
Not to mention, Tilly has a friend who is going to do the inspection for us.
” He grips my chin and looks me square in the eyes.
“You are not a failure. This store will open, and it will be wonderful. You’ve gotten this far, Gossy. Don’t give up now.”
Tears stream down my cheeks, the feeling of being overwhelmed taking over as I try to comprehend what he’s saying.
I spent the last twenty-four hours depressed, trying to mourn the loss of something I’ve wanted for so long, that I’ve worked so hard on, only for it to come back to life because of the people who are so close to me.
“Thank you,” I say, my lip quivering. “Thank you so much, Theo.”
“Anything for you, love,” he says and then lowers his mouth to mine, lightly capturing it.
God, I’ve missed him. It feels like a year since I’ve last been able to press my lips to his, rest in his arms, and stare at his handsome face.
I’ve felt empty.
Lost.
Like I didn’t know how to even go about my day without him here, and now that he is, it’s like he’s a beacon guiding me to where I need to be and what I need to do, despite me being the one who has always taught him.
He’s the light.
He’s the joy.
He’s everything I need.
And I can say without a doubt that this selfless man that I happened to match with over the internet is my love.
I love him.
Truly.
From the depths of my soul, I love him.
And I want to tell him, the words are on the tip of my tongue, but as he pulls away, his smile driving me mad with need for this man, I realize this is not the time.
I don’t want him to think I’m saying those three very important words because of what he did for me, because of his being here, helping with the shop. I want him to know outside of the shop. Outside of him saving my plummeting dream.
I want him to know that I love him because of…well, him.
“Shall we start unboxing candy?”
“We shall,” I say before cupping his cheek and kissing him one more time. “Thank you, Theo. Thank you for everything.” He rests his forehead against mine. “For believing in me. For not giving up. For…for coming back even though you had no idea how much I needed you.”
“I told you we would make it work.”
“But what about your father? The title.”
“Told him to fuck off.”
“Seriously?” I ask, stunned that he would do such a thing.
He nods and rubs his hand up and down my back soothingly.
“You changed me, Renley. You showed me my potential, what I could offer besides the name attached to me. You brought me out of a fog I didn’t know I was living in, and I didn’t want to lose that.
I need this, you and me. I want it. So I told him to fuck off. ”
“Oh my God.” I chuckle and then hug him tighter. “Are you here, forever?”
“As long as I can be,” he says. “But we can work on that later. Right now, we have a candy shop to focus on.” He kisses me one last time and then turns me toward the store just as Aunt Kitty comes into view.
She’s wearing a denim apron with The Market stitched on the front, looking timid and not like herself.
“Hello.” She waves awkwardly and adjusts her apron.
“Hi,” I answer, unsure why she’s dressed like that.
“We’ll give you a second,” Theo says. “I have to show Lamar the apartment upstairs so he and his friend can start working on it.” He winks at me and my heart flutters in my chest as he takes off, full of life, full of love.
Tilly pats me on the shoulder and pulls Rupert out of the room, saying something about unpacking boxes in the storage room, which leaves just me and Aunt Kitty to ourselves.
After a few seconds of silence, Aunt Kitty says, “I, uh, I got a job.”
What?
She got a job?
Like an actual job?
Something that will pay her biweekly, that she has to report to at least forty hours a week? That kind of job?
“What do you mean?”
“I, uh…I thought about the things you said and even though they hurt, I sat with it. I let it sink in and you’re right.
I haven’t been a stable role model for you.
I haven’t been a provider. I’ve been chasing a fictional reality in the hope of staying away from what is really going on in my life.
” She takes a step forward. “I lost my husband and then my brother all in a short amount of time, and I stepped into a realm where the reality of life didn’t exist. Where I could pretend like the pain all vanished, and I could just focus on things that made me happy.
I tried to foster you, help you in your endeavors, and I see that I have fallen short on such things. Rupert and I had a long talk about it.”
Rupert? He was in on this?
How is it possible that the two British men that I thought were murderers at the beginning of summer have turned out to be the two people I needed the most to help me sift through the muddiness of my life?
Continuing, Aunt Kitty says, “I realize that I put pressure on you to provide. I didn’t realize it at the time that I was pressuring you.
I thought I was encouraging. But seeing it with your eyes, seeing how I have sporadically helped, I get it.
” She sighs and takes another step forward.
“I don’t want you to resent me, Renley.”
“I don’t.” I shake my head.
“Please, sweetie, let me finish.” I nod, allowing her to continue.
“I want to be someone you look up to, not someone you have to take care of. I don’t want to remind you of your father in the way that he hurt you and embarrassed you.
I want to remind you of your father in the way that made you smile.
I want you to be proud of me. And I want to be a part of your life for a very long time, until I can no longer hug Marshmallow between my sturdy thighs. ”
I snort and cry at the same time as she closes the space between us.
Taking my hand in hers, she says, “I’m sorry, Renley.
I promise to do better. I know there will be days when I make mistakes and when I annoy you to the point of not wanting to talk to me, but in those instances, just remind me of this moment, where I’ve vowed to be better for you, for us. ”
“I will,” I say, my voice choking up.
“Thank you.” She pulls me into a hug and gives me the kind of love that I need in this moment, the parental kind, where I can feel it all the way to my broken and battered soul.
“I’m so proud of you, of everything you’ve done.
” When she pulls away, she swipes at my tears and says, “Now, don’t let that tuna-mouth bitch win.
I will be damned if Marjorie takes this shop away. ”
I laugh. “No, we can’t have that, can we?”
“Absolutely not.” She squeezes my hand. “Now, I must be off to my job, but I’m asking about the register system, and it seems as though Karen, at The Market, and I have one very large thing—and I mean extremely large thing—in common.”
“What’s that?”
“Our hatred for Marjorie.” She winks. “We bonded over it during my interview. I was hired on the spot. So anything to make Marjorie’s life a living hell, Karen is in on.
She said she would help set you up. It was Rupert’s suggestion to get me to ask.
He’s so smart. And have you seen him in those shorts? I just want to squeeze his heinie.”
I wince, because…no.
“Aunt Kitty, I don’t think that’s such a great—”
“By the end of the year, mark my words, you’re going to be calling him Uncle Rupert.”
Dear God in heaven, I hope not.
She pats my shoulder and then takes off, leaving me alone in the main space of my shop.
I take a moment to soak it all in.
The floors Theo helped me with.
The refurbished shelves.
The paintings on the wall and the windows.
The lights.
The combination of the old and the new.
The memories with my dad, but also with the other people I love.
This is my safe space, my home, the start of a brand-new chapter in my life. And I can’t wait to see how it turns out.