Chapter 14
14
DON’T KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU TRY IT, BABY
S ix Thirty PM.
We are still in the thick of playing twenty-one questions with a twist. And by twist, I mean slightly drunk while wading in the pool. We had chugged our first margarita and quickly poured the contents of the glass jug for two more refills since then.
The game started with the basics:
Favorite color. Mine’s empress teal. Which Riley snorted at followed by snarky, “fitting for a Princess.” Riley was torn between black or midnight blue.
Favorite food. Mine, sushi. Riley, strawberry Pop-Tarts.
The answer made a tipsy me burst out in an uncontrolled giggle that led to Riley explaining that as a kid his grandparents were the only ones to let him have those foiled sugary pockets and when they died, he would only buy them if he felt like he had a bad day and needed to be cheered up in high school but hasn’t bought them since.
Riley, not wanting to linger on that topic any longer, asks the next set of questions .
Favorite pastime. Mine, reading. Riley, crossword puzzles.
I raise my eyebrow, “grandpa?” snickering at his chosen hobby to insinuate solving riddles on a checkerboard were meant for senior citizens.
“Don’t knock it until you try it, baby.” Am I that drunk or did he just call me baby? If so, please do it again. Drunk me liked hearing it. “My grandfather did a crossword puzzle every morning with my grandmother and they stayed sharp as a whip until the very end.” He gives me a smirk that makes my brain melt.
“Ok, fair, but not tonight.” I raise my drink to remind him that I’m in no sober shape or form to be able to answer any riddles.
The questions run through the typical other favorites; time of year, vacation destination, movies.
We run out of the simpler questions so I decide to ramp up the game. The tequila broke down my usual respect for boundaries for polite chit chat and offers some good ole liquid courage. “Tell me about your mom.” Riley’s left eyebrow quirks upwards in surprise at my turn of topics. “You mentioned her the first night and, from what I gathered, not in the best light.” Considering that maybe he doesn’t want to talk about her I pull back. “Never mind, you don’t have to, let me think of another question.” I tap my chin to find a different topic but Riley interrupts my thoughts.
“It’s ok, there isn’t much to tell,” the way his shoulders hold a tenseness now that was absent all afternoon. I figure that’s a lie so I urge him to continue with a dip of my head. “My whole life I felt like I didn’t really belong in my family. I spent so much time at my grandparents’ house because they felt like home .”
The thought that Riley had to go anywhere but his home to feel that sense of belonging tugs so hard at me it takes every muscle to not reach out to comfort him in some way, but I refrain and give him the space to continue.
“I could never really understand how two of the warmest, loving, smart, and amazing people gave birth to a son that was the complete opposite. My grandfather who worked hard to build his fortune did it out of love for his wife and his family so they’d never struggle a day in their lives and my father who inherited the company when my grandparents passed away, only worked hard so he could keep the status quo. For my dad, it was all about who you were and what you had, I don’t think he considered doing anything out of love or emotion.
The big shocker was that he found someone to marry right after college that was his complete equal in everything. My mother didn’t need love, just the security my father could provide for her and her future. They had my brother after their first year of marriage and the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree there.”
I remember his earlier mention of his brother. I had questioned how a brother could hurt their own in the way he has and now the puzzle pieces are finally falling into place for me.
“I don’t think my grandparents were delighted at the legacy that was being left behind in their name but my father was their only son. Who else did they have to leave everything to you know? When I came along, my brother was four, and they weren’t too thrilled about it. I think I threw a wrench in their plan for their lives. An accident if you will.” Another dark chuckle at the sarcastic misfortune of his family interrupts the story. “I was never part of their plan and I doubt my mother had any intentions of doing infant care all ov er again when she had just sent her first off to preschool. Not that she actually knew what the hell that entailed since there had always been an au pair to do the heavy lifting after childbirth.”
Riley goes silent for a moment, losing himself to his memories. “Anyway, a long story somewhat short, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents which gave my parents the household they really wanted. Just them and their first-born son. We were all happier for it, until my grandparents passed away in an accident when I was sixteen. I had no choice but to live full time with my family until I graduated high school. For a while, I did everything I could to get them to accept me as they did my brother, when that didn’t work, I learned to just keep my distance when I can and be invisible when I couldn’t. That brings us up to the present.”
I analyze the expression on Riley’s face. He’s grinning as if his family dynamics didn’t bother him but the smile doesn’t quite meet his eyes. I figured he’d had so many years of pretending he didn’t care about any of it that the false display of callousness towards the people that share his surname, fake smiling through it all, was just second nature to him by now.
I can’t explain my deep-rooted need to console him, every muscle in my body urging me to comfort, to heal. Without thinking, I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around his waist. My ear pressing against his bare chest.
My touch takes him by surprise and he flinches at my contact but it doesn’t stop me from engulfing him in a hug. The touch must have been foreign to him but at least he hugs me back after a few awkward moments of me being a barnacle. We stay like that for what feels like eternity but is probably closer to a minute or two .
Before letting things get too awkward, I begin pulling away but Riley’s hold tightens around me. “Not just yet,” his gravelly voice low and soft, almost pleading.
The request, short and simple, shatters my heart in a million little pieces while simultaneously jolting my nerve endings in every direction. I know he needed this comfort because it was severely lacking in his life, but at the same time, feeling him wrapped around me is like electricity to my body. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel but I remain tucked in his embrace until he’s ready to let go. When he finally loosens his hold on me, he takes a step back and apologizes for bringing down the mood.
“You didn’t bring down anything. I asked.”
My body jerks upright as if a literal lightbulb goes off inside me, splashing water and startling Riley as much as my spontaneous hug did. I start to chug the remainder of my drink while pushing his straw to his lips urging him to chug as well.
Finishing my margarita in three straw pulls. “I have an idea!” I exclaim, setting my empty cup down at the edge of the pool and hauling myself upwards out of the water. “The winds picking up,” I grab a towel I had laid out earlier on a nearby stool to wrap my soaking body with, “get in the hot tub and wait for me.”
“Wait for you how long? Like a few minutes or will I be confused for a dried gooseberry by the time you return?” he questions my sudden burst of energy.
“Do you trust me?” fluttering my lashes at Riley to add to my persuasion.
“I have a feeling I don’t have a choice.”
My mouth quirks upwards like I won an unspoken battle. After I confirmed I’d only need ten or fifteen minutes and then I’ll be back, Riley reluctantly agrees.
Walking slightly slower than a jog while trying to soak up as much water from my body with the towel, I enter my home to throw on a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt when I’m dried off enough not to be mistaken for a leaky faucet.
Glancing at my watch, seven fifteen. I promised I’d be back by seven thirty.
I impatiently urge my elevator to move faster. By the time it arrives at the lobby, I accidentally bulldoze into one of my neighbors exiting so quickly. I apologize profusely behind me before spotting Randy in the lobby by the entrance.
He must’ve heard the slight commotion behind him at the elevator because he turns around and sees me before I have a chance to call his name. “Miss Thatc…” catching himself, “Ms. Amelia, good evening,” he greets me with the warmest of smiles.
“Good catch there Randy,” offering him the same genuine smile in return, “I have a favor to ask.”
“Of course, how can I help?”
I spend three minutes explaining what I need by the time I return from the store down the block and that I have less than ten minutes.
Randy, unsure of the out of the blue request, seems interested enough to jump at the chance to assure me it would be ready. His smile growing wider like he’s in on a sting operation, the face he’s making makes me chuckle as I give him my thanks and head towards the store from earlier.
Seven eighteen.
I’m greeted by a different cashier than the one from earlier in the day and am asked if I needed any help finding anything. I politely turn down their offer of help as I begin my hunt down the aisle with sugary snacks. Once I gather what I need… and then some, I check out at the counter and in a hasty pace, walk back to my building.
Seven twenty-five.
Randy isn’t at his usual post by the door to greet the residents so I assume he’s still working on my favor. I scan my key fob to unlock the main entrance, pushing the heavy glass door open. I see Randy walking towards me from behind the concierge desk.
“Ah, just in time.” He hands me a laminated stack sheet of paper and a black dry erase marker.
“Randy, you’re a godsend! Thank you so incredibly much!” I say, embracing him in a grateful hug, then grabbing the items from him. I rush to the elevator after he sends me on my way with a no-thanks-necessary speech.
Seven twenty-seven.
The chime announces that I’ve arrived at my unit. I glance at my watch noting that it’s now seven twenty-nine, proud that I really did make it back in less than fifteen minutes.
Calling out towards the terrace to let Riley know that I am back, I notice that he isn’t in the hot tub. I place the bag of goodies and the items from Randy down on the island and walk out towards where he should’ve been.
Stepping out into the night breeze, I find him sitting on the edge of a patio chair, slumped shoulders and his phone squeezed between white knuckles.
“Contrary to popular belief, those phones can actually break if you squeeze hard enough,” I say, interrupting his thoughts.
His head tilts up in shock and the way he looks at me makes those annoying butterflies return at full strength. His eyes soften, the firm line of his lips turns upwards into a smile, his knuckle s gaining some color as he loosens his grip on his phone. “You’re back.”
The way he says it, laced with relief and need, does nothing to abate the flapping of wings in the pit of my stomach.
“Wanna talk about it?” I ask gently, implying no pressure to talk if he doesn’t want to.
It’s like it was becoming an unspoken bond between us. The freedom to vent or the freedom to have space. To have a choice in what one needs without the prying from another.
“I’d rather not if that’s ok,” with a slight shake of his head and his lips pressed together as if grateful to not talk about it.
“Ok then. Ready to get in the hot tub? You have to be freezing, you haven’t dried off and the breeze is getting stronger.”
“Sure, did you need help in there first?” pointing towards the kitchen.
“No,” I assure him. “You get in the hot tub and I’ll go get the stuff.”
I offer him a compassionate smile and make my way back to the kitchen, unpacking the bag I brought up. I grab a plate from the cabinet, place Riley’s surprise on it after a ten second warm up in the microwave, grab the laminated sheet of paper and the dry erase marker, before heading back out to the terrace.
“Close your eyes,” I say with my arms behind my back.
Riley does as he’s told, a brow quirks up with curiosity matching the expression on his pursed lips. I place the plate down at the edge of the hot tub with the items from Randy then stand back up. “Ok, open your eyes.”
When Riley lifts his lids and takes in the surprise in front of him, I sw ear I see a sliver of silver lining his eyes before he blinks quick enough to rid the evidence of emotion. He’s quiet and his smile disappears the moment his eyes had opened, taking in the pair of strawberry Pop-Tarts perfectly fanned apart on a white plate as if it’s a rare delicacy rather than a cheap childhood snack, and next to it is the New York Times printed crossword puzzle, laminated so that the paper doesn’t get damaged near the hot tub and a dry erase marker instead of a sharpie in case we mess up.
“How?” the only word that Riley’s able to mumble out.
“Randy actually, since he’s a bit older,” I tiptoe around saying he was old, “I asked him if he did crosswords and when he said yes I asked him if he could print one off for me and also laminate it in case it got wet. I don’t know much about these but he said he would print me off a Monday one since it was my first time, whatever that means.” I shrug at the recollection from downstairs.
Riley lets out a laugh before informing me that Mondays are generally the easiest of the crosswords for that week and as the days go on the puzzles get progressively harder. Grateful that Randy took pity on me and gave me something I might be able to accomplish. I slide my shorts off and pull my t-shirt over my head before joining Riley in the water.
Watching Riley take a bite out of the Pop-Tarts was like watching Gordon Ramsey sample a person’s well perfected dish, the anticipation of a reaction, waiting for feedback even though the only credit I deserve was the amount of time I microwaved it for.
The way he savors each morsel rustles up the butterflies that now just took up permanent residence in my stomach. I can’t quite figure out why it matters to me so much that he’s happy but all I know is that, right now, he is happy and it warms me from the inside out, hotter than the basin of water surrounding me ever could.
Changing the direction of my thoughts that are surely going to conjure up if I focus too long on his mouth, “ready to teach me how to do this crossword?” Knowing very well that nothing else would humble me quite as much as a list of endless riddles on a piece of paper.
Riley excitedly nods his head in agreement, places the other half of the strawberry filled pastry back onto the plate, and picks up the dry erase marker. For the next thirty minutes, the two of us solve clue after clue. I’m surprised how tired I’m getting from this one puzzle, a wholly different type of mental workout than what I’m used to.
When we are pleased with all of our answers, Riley reaches to grab his phone off of the folded towel nearby to check our answers.
I feel extremely proud that, on my first ever puzzle, we didn’t get a single one wrong. More to Riley’s credit than mine. I’m still learning the rules of the game, what a question marked clue meant or how to decipher the cryptic messages behind what seems like a straightforward clue, but all in all, I feel like I might be a crossword type of girl after all.
Who knew?
Deciding that our bodies can’t take much more of soaking in chlorine water, I offer my spare bathroom to Riley to shower and change into the sweats he packed in his backpack while I do the same in mine. I make quick work of grabbing him a set of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and a plush towel since it isn’t often I have guests over and don’t see the need to keep that bathroom fully equipped when the products would, more than likely, expire before it had a chance to be used.
I hand him all the supplies I gathered from my bathroom. He gives me a quick thanks and we part ways to separate sides of the condo .