Chapter 16
16
I’M BEING SELFISH AND I’M OK WITH IT
A melia leaves the kitchen and I take the opportunity to turn on my cell to check for any important missed emails. I had turned it off yesterday after she got back from the store, it was easy to ignore the expected string of texts from my brother and Cecelia but the one that made me see red was the one from my father telling me that Cecelia and Phil together is what’s best for both families. Meaning, it only makes sense for his top client’s daughter to be married to the man who will succeed him at the firm. Which also means, the bastard knew and just wanted me to be ok with it. I had clutched my phone so hard that it took Amelia’s voice to break me from my rage induced trance last night.
Seeing her worried eyes was enough for me to turn my phone off and focus on her. I’ll be damned if I’m just another person she feels she needs to take care of when all I want is to be that person for her.
Once my phone is powered back on, I skim my inbox for anything that needs my immediate attention. There are none as of right now; I shoot off a quick text to my assistant to let her know I will be out of pocket for the day and should only be reached out to for extreme emergencies. I turn my phone on silent as I hear Amelia’s footsteps behind me coming back into the kitchen.
I eye her suspiciously as she walks around the island to grab her coffee before placing it in the microwave.
“What?” she says curtly.
“We’re going to have to work on your alliances if this friendship has a chance of surviving,” I joke while staring at her sweatshirt.
Amelia glances over her shoulder at me with annoyance. “Hmm, Duke fan are you?”
“Duke undergrad and Duke Law, Princess,” I say back to her over the rim of my mug.
“Too bad. Four generations of Thatchers were Tar Heels. You couldn’t turn me into a Blue Devils fan even if your life depended on it.” Grabbing her coffee and bringing it to her lips, she lifts her eyebrows in smug defiance.
“Challenge accepted.”
Amelia rolls her eyes at me and I can sense the tug of a smile hiding behind her cup. I really am not sure how I would manage to convince her to switch sides. Modern day versions of wars have broken out between Tar Heel versus Blue Devils Fans.
What was the saying? One did not simply co-mingle with the other.
The truth of it is, I don’t really care either way where her allegiances are. All I care about is that smile I know she’s wearing. Seeing that streak of silver lining the bottom of her chocolate brown eyes earlier nearly ripped my heart out. Amelia is a giver through and through. All she wants, no, all she needs is to not give anymore. The exhaustion from years of saying yes and doing the right thing for everyone instead of herself is starting to take its toll.
Something broke in me seeing the spark that shined so bright in her eyes yesterday, slowly diminish before me at the thought of losing the one thing she values and craves most.
Control .
She’s the type of person that would be strong for everyone, including me, a practical stranger, but when it comes to herself, she will selfishly give everything to anyone until she becomes a shell of a person. I hate the idea of that more than the idea of the blonde getting set up on a date with her. And I hated that very fucking much .
It took every ounce of will power in me not to take her phone and throw it over that balcony. I probably would have if she showed the slightest bit of interest in going on that date. But luckily for her phone, she seemed to have dreaded the idea just as much as I did.
I don’t understand what has gotten into me. How the hell am I not going to pursue her but have the audacity to stop her from pursuing anyone else?
Fuck it. I don’t care.
I’m being selfish and I’m ok with it.
This might not be the most ideal situation, plus neither of us wants anything more, but I am grateful that all Amelia wants is to remain single. It saves me from having to fight off any asshole that might want to claim her as his. That thought makes my blood boil with possessive rage. I don’t want or need anything remotely close to a relationship. So, why does the idea of Amelia in one without me cause my anger to skyrocket?
“Do you have anything better to do today than accept challenges that yo u will never win?” She asks, pulling me back from my thoughts.
I push all thoughts of Amelia and another man out of my mind to answer. “Nope. Thanks to your superb bartending skills last night, my head is throbbing worse than the morning after my twenty-first birthday. So, I’ll probably go home, avoid the office all day, and order take out. You?”
“Same.” She pauses. Biting her bottom lip. A habit of hers that always prompts unwanted thoughts to enter my mind about her.
I see the thoughts circulating in her brain. “Spit it out, Princess.”
“Would you like to do that here? You’re already in pajamas, which is what I plan on staying in all day.”
I don’t need to spend more time with her. But I want to.
After I agree to a day of lounging around with Amelia, against my better judgment, we finish our coffee and pop enough aspirin combined to take down a small horse.
She starts on breakfast for our first meal, quickly scrambling some eggs while the room is slowly consumed with the smell of bacon from the air fryer. I assist with rinsing off a mixture of various fresh berries in a colander before placing the cleaned fruit in a bowl Amelia left out for me.
Once the eggs are done, she splits them in half on separate plates, then places three slices of thick Applewood smoked bacon on each plate, with a side of perfectly browned toast, and lays the assembled dishes in front of the chairs we had occupied all morning.
We eat our breakfast at the island instead of the eight-person dining table on the opposite side of the living room.
Why does anyone have an eight person dining set? Who even likes eight people ?
“Do you host often?” I inquire while looking over my shoulder at her table.
“Huh?” She turns her head towards the direction of my vision and notes the dining set I am looking at that would suggest a slew of dinner parties are hosted here.
She wipes the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “Oh, ha! No. Actually, I don’t really use it at all. Sam is an interior decorator. I let her use my condo when we purchased it as her first project so that she could build out her portfolio. I really didn’t know much about decorating and the place was bare so it was the perfect canvas for her. If she left it up to me I’d probably have one reading chair and a bed. So I was happy to let Sam decorate this place. The dining set is a bit excessive though, isn’t it?” She giggles and shoves a forkful of eggs into her mouth.
“It fits the space though.” I offer my unsolicited opinion.
“Yeah, that’s what Sam said too. Apparently there is a space to furniture ratio. Too small or too big can create a space imbalance or something like that.” She waves her fork in the air implying she could care less one way or another. “I stopped listening to her theories after a while. I only host parties of three or less usually. Sam and Lauren will usually come and spend the night from time to time.”
I shouldn’t be grateful it’s only her two best friends that ever sleep in this place with her but I am. Between our bites of food and sips of orange juice, simple pleasantries are exchanged. She describes her small group of friends and I explain my lack thereof with the exception of Rob. Which she argues is untrue since my circle of friends now includes her.
Unfortunately for me, a very sexy, sometimes distracting friend, but a friend no less.
I find it easy to be comfortable around her, whenever my libido would take a backseat to my sanity, that is. Luckily for me, she doesn’t seem to notice the effect she has on me. I already knew the vision of her this morning; tousled hair, short shorts, and the thin tank top that did little to hide her breasts, will be the source of every daydream I have from here on out.
Even after she added the sweatshirt. It was too late.
I already wanted her, but she is the one thing I won’t give into. We will keep each other at arm's length.
Which is exactly where we both belong .