Chapter 25
MICAH
The BNB is country as hell, but I’m grateful that it doesn’t have classic roosters as the decor or a fetish with cows.
It’s a two-bedroom house, tucked at the edge of town, and far enough away that Sienna couldn’t walk home.
I kidnapped her.
And I have zero remorse for the fact, the thought, or the way I did it.
I know I hurt her, but I need some time to remind her how we were together without doors being in our way or court orders being shoved in my face by my lawyer or Laura’s.
I’m finally done with all that.
Laura is back home with her boyfriend, Paul, and I can go back to getting my damn life on track. Because she didn’t win any custody over my son. The judge didn’t buy her pity party and condemned it as bad decision-making that she won’t be making right.
Now, my full focus is on Sienna and how I can get her to forgive me.
I’m now the new coach of Magnolia Elementary’s football team—the River Otters.
We’re changing that shit.
I’m going to be helping out a little with the baseball team, which I want to do, but it’s just a small step closer to Sienna.
Who has been quiet the whole way here, which I didn’t push or pry for why, or attempted to get her to talk to me.
She needed to blow off steam, and she was within my grasp.
I won.
For now.
“I figured we’d hang out tonight since it’s late,” I say through the hollowed space of silence between us. “I brought groceries to make you dinner.”
Sienna doesn’t turn around to acknowledge me when she says, “What kind of dinner?”
“Steak.”
“And?”
“Salad. I also have some potatoes and—”
“Did you win?”
My brows furrow when I ask, “Did I win, what?”
“The custody battle with Heath.” Slowly, she begins to turn on her heels to face me and, for some reason, I feel nervous as hell. “Did you get what you wanted?”
I bob my head, unable to speak the words for some reason.
Unable to admit that, in the midst of throwing her to the side, I got what I wanted, and she didn’t.
Well, sort of.
If I could go and turn back time, I wouldn’t have spoken to Sienna the way I did.
Shit, I wouldn’t have even answered the damn door if I knew I wouldn’t be able to contain the emotions coursing through me that night.
Sheer fear is the only way I can describe it.
Of losing my son to my ex.
Of having to share custody with a woman who emotionally wrecked me and was trying to insert herself back in our lives because it was convenient for her now.
It threw me right back into that emotional whirlwind of bad shit, and there’s no other excuse for it. I thought I was a strong man, but seeing Laura again proved to me that I wasn’t so steel-proof.
And I hated that she had that power over me.
If I’m being truthful, it took me weeks to get back to myself again. To shove out demons that threatened to drag me down.
And I did it to Sienna when I promised I was serious.
I was.
Until everything went to hell and I couldn’t risk us both falling to Laura.
“Good,” Sienna finally says through my silence, clasping her hands together. “Can she appeal?”
Oh, geezus, Christ.
I think I’d drown myself in Magnolia pond.
“She could, I guess. But I’m not worrying about that now.”
Sienna cocks her head a little to the side. “Why?”
“I’m more concerned about how I treated you,” I reply honestly. “And, honestly, lawyers are expensive. She’d need to go fuck Paul out of some more money.”
Her brows raise, either surprised at my words or that I was a bit too much. “So, she’s never going to stop?”
I’m sure that scares her, possibly.
However, after this round, I know my odds are high of keeping Heath one hundred percent of the time. And I’m not going to fuck it up again if something happens.
Not with her.
Not with Heath.
Not with Sienna.
“I can’t answer that,” I say truthfully. “I never know what’s going to come out of Laura, but I’m better suited for it if it happens again.”
“How?”
“With it being a possibility in my head. I never thought Laura was going to come back after she abandoned us. I thought that was it. As a mother, she made her choice, and she’d stick to it.
However, I know how I’ll act. I’ll be pissed, but I’ve proven myself and what I’ve done for my son. And I’m going to keep doing that.”
“That’s good,” she mutters. “You should focus on that.”
“I never stop focusing on that when there are other things going on. Other issues or problems. I hurt you, Sienna. I’m sorry. I really am.”
She presses her plush lips together, then replies, “I know. Stop beating yourself up over it.”
“I can’t help it. You won’t forgive me.”
“I have.”
“You haven’t.”
“I have,” she retorts softly. “And I understand. I can’t imagine how that must’ve felt and…I probably would’ve been the same way.”
“But…?”
“But nothing. I do forgive you, Micah. You didn’t have to kidnap me to a BNB to get me to say that.”
“I felt like I needed to. You barely want to be in the same room as me.”
“Because it’s hard.”
Shit.
I dare not move toward her and explain that it doesn’t need to be. Not when she’s being open and honest, and any stupid ass, cocky comment I say could get her to step back from me.
“I get that,” I vouch simply. “How can I make it better?”
“Stop coming around.”
“We live in a small town.”
“Then stop seeking me out, Micah.”
She means that shit.
She means it, and that’s the best for her. Regardless, whether I like it or not.
“Is it…because I hurt you or because of the rules?”
“Both.”
I can’t help but scowl. “You forgive me, but we’re still not able to move past it.”
“I forgive you, and I need time.”
How much time?
Regardless, I don’t ask the stupid question. It’s irrelevant at this point.
Shoving my hands into my jeans, I have no other option but to give up. To admit defeat and let this go.
For good.
I lost her.
And I don’t think I’m ever going to get her back.