Chapter 36
thirty-six
ORION
I didn’t like the idea of having the bachelor party on my boat when it was proposed, but I thought I might grow into it. Maybe I’d get to know Beckett and wouldn’t mind so much. It worked with Carina. Maybe I’d settle into the house and I wouldn’t feel like the boat is the only place I call home. Having others on it wouldn’t feel like such an invasion.
I still think he’s a tool. But a tool Christian and Alex can keep in line, no matter how drunk he gets. The Twisted Rigging isn’t just my space anymore. It’s the space I share with Carina. I don’t want her manipulative ex-boyfriend anywhere near it. But I don’t have a choice since he’s in the wedding party and was frat brothers with Beckett.
The women left earlier for Miami to go clubbing. I’m jealous of every man Carina dances with, even as I trust her completely. I wish she was in my bed at the end of each night. She’s a part of every new memory I make, even when she’s not around. I wish I knew it was the same for her. But more than my selfish needs, I hope she gets time away from her problems.
I’d tried to convince her to let me tag along and hide in her hotel room. She laughed and informed me girls’ trips have strict rules and she would never break them. I didn’t care about the disappointment I felt because she was laughing again.
We push off the dock right before noon. Beckett didn’t want an early start, knowing the party would last late into the night. He has big plans for this sail, and then is heading to Wendell Beach Rum Works before hitting up as many bars on the island as he can before they close for the night.
To be honest, I’m surprised they didn’t go to Tampa. It has more than enough strip clubs for them to get lost in. And selfishly, then they wouldn’t be my problem. But his family is one of the largest employers on the island and a pillar of the economy, so he gets special treatment anywhere he goes. All he needs to do is flash his smile and tell everyone his name.
I should give Beckett more of a chance. I should give him the benefit of the doubt if for no other reason than Sienna loves him and Carina cares for her.
We make it to the gulf and I raise the sails. We’re headed to an island south of us with calm water and beautiful beaches. I’ve taken plenty of tours there and everyone has fun. Christian opens a cooler and passes out premade cocktails while Alex is below deck getting food ready.
“Did Haley make the snacks?” Beckett asks.
“No, Alex got it catered,” Christian says.
“Damn, I was really looking forward to her food.” Hamilton downs his beverage quickly. He looks exactly the way I expected him to—his clothes look like they came from a website called NewEnglandYachtStyle.com. It’s clear he thinks if he dresses the part, then the respect will immediately follow him. It’s all slightly wrong for Florida. Carina loves this place so much. I can’t see her ever happy with someone who tries so hard and gets it wrong.
I wish I could forget he was on this trip. Or that I don’t know who he is to Carina. Every time she mentions him in relation to her business, I feel like he’s giving her advice against what she genuinely believes in. And every time their relationship is mentioned, I wonder what she saw in him. But I know better than to state this to her.
“Why didn’t you get Haley to make the food?” Beckett asks when Alex appears.
I swear both Christian and Alex look at me like I have an answer to this. Since it’s my boat, it’s my responsibility to deal with the dumb shit coming out of their mouths.
“She’s busy with wedding planning and the bachelorette party,” Alex answers with a tilt of his head, like he barely understood the question.
“I can’t believe they’re clubbing in Miami.” Hamilton shakes his head. “You’re not worried about Sienna?”
Beckett shrugs. “We’re doing long-distance anyway right now.”
“Carina is on the trip, right?” Hamilton asks. “When do they get back? She better not hook up with anyone.”
I’m glad they aren’t paying attention to me as I stand at the helm because they would have seen me roll my eyes. Hamilton has no right to ask anything of Carina. I should get annoyed with him thinking he does. But this man isn’t worth being a thorn in my side.
“She is. Sunday night,” Alex answers. Beckett hasn’t been hands-on enough to know the details of their trip.
“Fuck, I’m leaving before then,” Hamilton says.
“I’m pretty sure Carina can hook up with anyone she wants since y’all broke up,” Alex says. “Years ago.”
I focus on the sails and the direction of the wind, thankful Alex has my back, even if he doesn’t realize it.
“We did. But I’m chartering a superyacht in February with a few friends. I’m inviting her along.” He says it like she should be thankful he thought of her.
I face the bow and watch the angle of the sails and the way the waves dance on the water’s surface, not just around the boat, but fifty yards ahead of us. I don’t want to hear this guy talk about how he’s planning to make a move on the woman I’m with. Or imagine how unpleasant he would be if he knew she wakes up in my arms every day. I’m not threatened by his invitation or any of the guys who might try to hook up with her in Miami. Only by the silence I’m forced to keep about our relationship.
“You really think she’ll go with you?” Alex asks.
“It’s a free trip for her on a superyacht. I won’t tell her the sleeping arrangement until it’s too late to back out.”
“She’ll go for it. If not for you, her dad will tell her it’s in the best interest of the company,” Beckett says.
“I know you’re involved somehow with her business,” Christian starts, “but she and I discuss business almost every day. I don’t think that will work with her.”
“Right, I forgot she’s mentoring you and your little distillery.”
Christian smiles. “You’re enjoying my little distillery, so watch it.”
Hamilton waves him off, but the flash of fear in his eyes tells me it’s bravado. “If I don’t get to talk to her soon, she’s my date at the wedding. It’s not like she can avoid me.”
I grip the helm hard.
“I thought Orion was her date to the wedding,” Alex says.
I can tell from the tone of his voice he would prefer me spending time with her. But I don’t comment. None of this is fair. We’re sitting around talking about Carina and she’s not here to contribute.
“Who the fuck is Orion?” Hamilton says.
We were introduced by first names when he stepped aboard, but fuck him. “It’s Captain Edwards when you’re on my boat. And yes, I’m Carina’s date to the wedding.”
This isn’t a regular charter where my goal is to be as polite and friendly as possible, but I still need to be on my best behavior. I can’t have Beckett hate me if I want a good relationship with Coastline Beach House. And Carina wouldn’t want me to get in a fight with her ex-boyfriend.
But I can adjust the sail and the helm. The Twisted Rigging picks up speed and tilts just enough to cause Hamilton and Beckett, the only two standing, to stumble into a bench and spill their drinks. “Hey! Watch the teak!” The railing is high enough that they weren’t in danger of falling over or anything. I’m not that reckless.
“Sorry, man.” Beckett grabs a towel and wipes up the mess. “You’re not really her date. It was a numbers thing. You’re her plus-one since she wasn’t inviting anyone anyway. She’ll be spending most of her time with the wedding party. Hamilton is her counterpart. Why would you want to spend the wedding with an ice queen like Carina? Sienna has a ton of hot cousins. And Haley is single again.”
“I know how to get her warmed up.” Hamilton tries to fist-bump Christian who keeps his hands to himself and glares back. “How do you even know her?” Hamilton drops his hand to his side while his eyes narrow to judge me.
“We’re next-door neighbors.” I have years of customer service experience. I can remain expressionless under his scrutiny. I know what I have with her. I’m not worried about him.
“Oh shit. I didn’t think you’d be able to afford that place,” he says.
I shrug. He doesn’t need to know about the two thriving businesses I run. It’s not worth my time to explain myself to him.
But of course, he can’t stop running his mouth. Once he realizes I’m not responding, he continues. “I’ve been talking to her a lot with this whole fabric shit Nebula is dealing with. She’ll take the trip to get away. She’s so depressed about it. She’ll take anything to cheer her up.”
“Do you know what happened with that anyway?” Beckett asks. “She blew me off when I asked.”
Hamilton lights up as if he’s been waiting for the chance to explain this. “A supplier went behind her back. She should have listened to me in the first place. I told her trying to be ‘green’ would hurt her bottom line. It’s a marketing strategy anyway. It doesn’t make a difference. It’s her fault, really.”
My knuckles are completely white from gripping the helm. I wouldn’t be surprised if I broke it. I’ve been the one taking care of Carina every night when she’s terrified she won’t make payroll. I’ve made sure she eats dinner when she’s sick to her stomach over what people call her online. I’ve told her every day she is more than this. This won’t define her. She’s been so brave, taking full responsibility for something she had no control over. But she doesn’t see it that way.
I need to talk to her. I need to see her face. Before the wedding I need everyone to know she is mine.
“Things will change when we get back together. She and I have so much history. We’re inevitable,” Hamilton states.
Once we reach the anchorage, I head below deck. I need a minute away from these jackasses. I unlock the door to my cabin and shut it behind me.
I stare at the bed where Carina and I spend so much time. I’d cleaned up before today because it was what I could do to make it more sterile. But I don’t want any of them in this sacred space.
There’s a knock a minute later and Christian’s voice comes through the door. “Hey man, you got a sec?”
I open the door. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“You want a beer?”
“I can’t drink and sail,” I say.
He shrugs. “I figure we’ll be here a minute. You could relax.”
“I’ll relax when this day is over.”
Christian opens it instead. “They’re off the boat. Alex is making sure they don’t do anything stupid.”
“Bets on how long that lasts?”
He laughs but doesn’t comment further on the subject. “How long have you been with Carina?”
“I’m not,” I lie.
“Right. I’ve done the whole secret thing in the past.” He notices the look on my face. “Long time ago, way before Autumn. I know the glances and the excuses. You and Carina have something going on. You’re not as subtle as you think.”
I sigh and rest against the storage bench as he leans in the doorframe. I don’t want to lie to him. But if he can see it, there’s no point in denying it. I want to get this off my chest. I want to talk to someone about how amazing she is and how happy I am. He’s married. I want his advice on how to convince her to tell people, and tell him how terrified I am she will dismiss us.
“She doesn’t want anyone to know,” I confess.
“That sucks,” he says, taking a drink of his beer. “But I like the two of you together. She needs a little chaos in her life.”
“She really does.” Is that what I am to her? Chaos? Is that a good thing for her?
“You want to throw them off the boat?” he asks.
“It’s so fucking tempting. But I’d be tempted if they were talking about any woman that way,” I say. He wouldn’t believe the amount of toxic shit I’m exposed to when I take out male-only groups.
“You never said how long,” Christian says.
I should tell him the truth. It’s been since the day I got here. That she’s been under my skin since I first saw her. But it’s her choice how this news comes out.
So, I lie, again. “A few weeks. It’s nothing serious.”
He nods. “I probably shouldn’t do the ‘if you hurt her’ speech.”
He’s sincere. I appreciate that she has friends who care deeply about her. “We had this conversation once already, remember?”
“That was when I thought you were throwing rocks for the sake of rock throwing,” he says.
“Like I said then, she can take care of herself. And I don’t think I’ll be the one doing the hurting in this relationship.”
He looks at me for a moment. He’s known her a lot longer than I have. I’m not worried he knows now. It’s clear he has his own secrets. “I’m sure she’ll come around. She won’t be receptive to Hamilton making advances at the wedding. You two will figure it out.” He claps me on the shoulder before leaving me in the cabin.
I wish I had his confidence this will work out.