Chapter 9 #3
Wren sat on that for a second. She fully expected Rebecca to be upset with her as well, but she didn’t seem to be at all.
Wren had fully braced for Rebecca to blow up for outing her, but instead Rebecca was trying to console her.
That wasn’t a concept Wren was familiar with.
It had been a long time since someone had put her own needs first. She didn’t know if her emotional needs had ever been put first in a relationship, actually.
It was jarring, especially when Rebecca potentially being outed felt far more extreme than Wren’s overdue breakup.
“Well, okay. Thanks, I guess? I just wanted to warn you. Some photos of us are in the magazine. We actually got a few pages worth of fodder in here. Stuff about our college rivalry. The photos from that ridiculous photoshoot when we first made the team. Then there’s another bit in here on Andy’s big coming-out moment.
” Wren cringed, not wanting to see that photo of herself in the middle of a magazine.
“Then it goes back to us leaving the club and a whole lot of speculation.”
She skimmed a little more of the article.
This really painted her like quite the asshole.
She was starting to wonder if she actually might be one.
First, it was everything Rebecca had thought about her for the past six years and now this.
She nervously ran her fingers through her hair and took a few deep breaths.
Her mother leaving, not just her, but her dad, too flashed through her mind. Was she really just like her after all?
“I just googled it,” Rebecca said. “Oh, shit. Wren, this is a bit brutal. Seriously, are you okay?”
Wren groaned. “I mean. No?” Wren considered her words very carefully.
Part of her wanted to vent about this rather unfortunate trend of being accused of cheating again—even though she’d never once cheated in her life—but she was more than a little aware that Rebecca was on the other end of the call and was the other person who had, until recently, considered her a cheater.
Rebecca, who had been the one sexual partner she’d actually opened up to about her mom and how that had affected her.
Rebecca, who had used that trust against her.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Rebecca said reassuringly, cutting off Wren’s thoughts.
Her North Carolina twang was oddly comforting despite everything.
“You were helping out a very drunk friend. And I, for one, really appreciate that you did that for me. Not only would I have embarrassed myself in front of the team, but I would have embarrassed myself in front of these same photographers if you hadn’t helped me out like you did. ”
Wren tried to not let a tear fall, but she failed. She wiped at them, silently cursing herself for even being worked up about what anyone thought about her. Let alone some ridiculous trashy magazine.
“Hey,” Rebecca said softly through the phone. “Talk to me, Wren. What are you thinking?”
Wren didn’t know what to say. “I think that neither of us deserved this.” She kept the deeper hurt to herself. It was only then that Wren caught the sound of a tragic sniffle through the phone.
“I think you’re right,” Rebecca replied, her voice a little watery.
Another good wipe, this time with the collar of her shirt and Wren had the evidence of her tears swept away.
She cleared her throat, desperately needing a distraction—anything from her spiraling thoughts.
“Well, Rebecca, what were you up to before I ruined your evening?” God, that felt lame, but she didn’t care.
It was Rebecca on the other end of the phone, and for some reason Wren couldn’t quite understand, that made Wren feel safe.
She filed that away as something to think about another time.
Rebecca let out a shaky laugh, rolling with Wren’s question. There was a pause, which Wren could only guess was Rebecca wiping her own tears away. “I was painting my toe nails. Wanna see?”
“Are you trying to send me foot pictures?” Wren asked, doing her best to ask as ridiculously as she could muster.
“Oh my God, you’re insufferable. I’m hanging up on you now.”
Wren let out a little laugh, her whole existence lightening with that small reprieve. “I am sorry, Rebecca. For”—
—“No, I don’t accept your apology. This is all my fault. Again,” Rebecca’s voice cracked. “You really were just being lovely to me. You always have been. Wren, I”— Rebecca sighed—“Sometimes, I wish we could have a do-over.”
“From the beginning?” Wren asked, her pulse picking up the slightest amount.
Rebecca was silent on the phone for a while, but Wren didn’t rush to fill it. “Yeah,” she said, softly, finally, but she didn’t let the sentiment linger. “But hey, as much as this sucks, I really appreciate you telling me and not letting me discover it on my own.”
“Of course.” Wren shook her head. “I’d never do that to you.
” Wren stopped herself from saying anything further.
What had Rebecca meant when she wished she could have a do-over from the beginning?
What did Wren want her to mean? Wren could feel a headache coming on, a lightning storm of too many overlapping emotions all at once.
“I know,” Rebecca said softly, cutting off Wren’s thoughts.
The weight of her words, the depth of their meaning, with an underlying trust that she had never given to Wren before, it nearly stole the breath from Wren’s lungs.
Rebecca sighed. “I should probably go. It’s getting pretty late over here.
” She paused. “I’m sorry, Wren. I never meant to ruin your relationship. ”
Wren let out a bitter laugh. “You didn’t, Rebecca. It’s been over for a while. I think this was just the final excuse.”
They were silent for a beat, letting reality hover beyond the periphery of their phone call. “Are you going to be okay?” Wren asked, more than a little worried about how Rebecca might respond.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. You?”
Wren sighed. “Yeah, I’ll be alright.”