Chapter 10
CHAPTER
TEN
BECKY
“So, are we going to talk about it?” Katie asked, blocking the television screen from Becky not thirty minutes after she had gotten off the phone with Wren.
She was tiny, her driver’s license only said she was five feet tall because she wore heels to her last DMV appointment.
So, it was impressive she managed to block the screen.
“About what, exactly?” Becky asked, pausing her show and feigning innocence. She knew it was no use. Katie was too perceptive and entirely too stubborn.
Her roommate held up her own copy of the magazine that Wren had called her about.
“About why I’m seeing you all cozied up to your camp fling like two seconds after we discussed her shitty girlfriend on the front cover of some trash magazine while I’m trying to buy us cereal for the week?
” Katie didn’t sound mad, but she most definitely sounded confused and more than a little concerned.
Seeing the magazine in real life was different than googling it.
Somehow seeing her face in the bottom corner of a massive news syndicate was more than a little jarring, especially knowing the damage it had already done and the damage it would inevitably do.
“Oh shit,” Becky said instead of offering an explanation. It looked so much worse in print.
“Becky, did something happen between y’all in Houston?” Katie squished into the couch seat next to Becky and stole a corner of her blanket.
“No,” Becky said, shaking her head. “I promise. Nothing like what this is insinuating.”
“You know what? Before I ask what did happen, I got us ice cream after I saw you on the cover of the magazine. I’m going to go get it.
I feel like we need it.” Katie wiggled off the couch a little ungracefully and shuffled into their kitchen.
She returned with a pint of Becky’s favorite ice cream, mint chocolate chip, her own favorite, rocky road, and two spoons.
Becky was touched, truly, almost to the point of being emotional. But she didn’t want to start crying at the start of the story. Not when nothing even happened and even that genuine nothing had managed to blow up around her.
“So, I hear you when you say that nothing happened between you in Houston…” Katie poked at the magazine that Becky was still holding.
“Can you explain what’s going on in these photos?
” Katie asked her question softly, like Becky might run away from the entire apartment if the question was asked too loudly.
She took a big bite out of her rocky road while she waited for Becky’s answer.
“Honestly?” Becky asked. She let out a heavy sigh.
“I was plastered that night.” She pointed at the magazine.
“I mixed too many alcohols way too fast with the team, and you know I’m a lightweight.
I was puking about an hour into the after party.
Wren…” Becky stared at the television, paused on the most recent season of Queer Eye.
Wren had cared. Wren had followed her into the club’s bathroom, listened to the delightful sound of her puking, and had then taken her back to their shared hotel room.
She had sat outside their tiny hotel bathroom while Becky had showered, in case she fell down or started puking again.
She had even turned Becky’s shirt around for her when she realized Becky had put it on backwards.
She had left Advil and water on Becky’s bedside table and had gotten her breakfast the next morning.
She had made Becky’s coffee right. Becky’s eyes watered just thinking about it.
Katie took Becky’s reaction wrong. “Wren what? I will fight her.” Katie looked ready to hop on the next plane to Los Angeles with no plan and no address, fully prepared to track Wren down, Terminator style, just to punch her in the face.
Becky shook her head, dropping her spoon in her half-eaten pint of ice cream.
“No. She was perfect. And lovely. And she didn’t let me make a fool out of myself in front of our team or in front of the photographers.
I’ve done nothing but hurt her for six years, and she…
she just helped me get in safely. And now her shitty girlfriend has gone and dumped her over these pictures. ”
Katie studied Becky carefully. Becky knew the look.
Katie was looking at her like she was a live bomb.
She was clearly out of her depth, and Becky couldn’t blame her.
She was, too. It really sucked to find out she had been the bad guy in this whole situation when, for the last six years, she had really felt justified in her own heartbreak and subsequent rage.
“Can I ask you another question?” Katie asked, setting her own ice cream back down on the coffee table.
Becky shrugged and shoveled another massive bite into her mouth, afraid of what her friend might say.
Katie gently took Becky’s pint away from her and grabbed both of her hands.
“Do you maybe, just a little even, still have feelings for Wren?” Katie continued quickly, “There’s no judgment if you do.
Y’all have a messy history. And I mean…You showed me the photo her ex shared.
The thirst trap was trapping. So, I get it if you do.
I just want to know how to help, and I think knowing how you feel might help me help you. ”
What was she supposed to say? That her first love had never stopped being someone that she lusted after even after all these years?
That she had screwed everything up so badly that it didn’t even matter?
“She texted me tonight,” Becky whispered, nodding at the magazine article again.
“To warn me. She got dumped over it, and her biggest concern was to check on me. In case the article outed me. In case it would impact my life. After everything. After eight yellow cards against her in four years. That’s almost one every time we played them. ”
“So, that’s a yes then?” Katie asked, her question barely loud enough for Becky to hear her over a sudden ringing in her ears.
This would out her to her parents. That was inevitable. Seeing it in print and knowing that Katie had seen it at a grocery store, there was no way this wouldn’t circulate in her hometown or, worse, in the church that her whole family had gone to since her dad had been a child.
“Wait. Have your parents called about this?” Katie asked, her question much louder and definitely startled.
Becky shook her head no. “Is it foolish to say I’ve spent the whole evening hoping they don’t see it?”
“Becky,” Katie paused, obviously trying to choose her words carefully. “I don’t think this is something that’s going to get past them. If they got wind of you flicking Wren off, I think they’re going to hear the rumor that you’re sleeping with her.”
Becky sighed. “I know. I should probably use it as an opportunity to confirm that I’m a lesbian.
But I’m not telling them the whole thing with Wren.
They don’t need to know about camp. It’s one thing to inform them of my sexuality, but they don’t need details of my sex life, no matter how sparse those details truly are. ”
“Should…” Katie started, but paused. She shook her head and continued, “Should you maybe just call them and tell them? Like, preemptively. You could get ahead of it, you know?”
Becky’s eyes widened. She did not like that plan. But admittedly, it had its merits. “What? Just call them and be like, ‘hey, you’re going to see a news article about me and a teammate? The article is only half right. I am gay, but not with her.’”
Katie shrugged. “I mean, maybe? I’m here to support you. I’m just wondering if it might be easier for them to hear than to read or see in a magazine. Especially if you might actually like Wren even a little bit. And if Wren is now single…”
“I’m not ready,” Becky whispered. She wasn’t. But she knew the gossiping admins at her father’s private practice would have this article on her father’s desk first thing in the morning. If it wasn’t there already. The real question was: Would they think there was any truth to the rumors?
She picked up the magazine and flipped through it until she found the actual spread on them.
It was weird seeing her face in a magazine.
She was just glad it wasn’t obvious how drunk she had been.
The last photo in the spread was her standing in the hotel lobby with her hands in Wren’s.
Oh, that photo did not have good optics.
This was definitely going to make it back to her father.
No wonder Andy had dumped Wren. They were standing too close together waiting for the elevator.
Becky was looking so intently into Wren’s eyes, ironically saying something about not wanting to embarrass her parents, if she could remember correctly.
She let out a long heavy sigh and looked at the clock on her phone. It was too late to call them tonight.
Her eyes watered as reality crashed in around her.
She’d been dreading this moment for six years.
In her mind, she’d always hoped that coming out to her family would have the silver lining of being for something—or for someone.
That she’d have a serious girlfriend worth coming out for.
She never imagined the choice would be ripped away from her by a rag-mag.
“You’re right, though,” Becky wiped her tears away before they really had a chance to fall. “Can we maybe stay up late and watch movies? Couch sleepover?”
Katie nodded, quick and reassuring. “Of course, Becky. Just like when we were kids. Want to eat the rest of our ice cream and watch Bend it Like Beckham? You can tell me again how it should have been a sapphic movie and how the coach as a love interest makes no sense.”