Cassidy
I laid across the desk, heaving as Sam draped himself across my body as if he didn’t weigh at least a hundred pounds more than me. If I had any brain cells left in my head, I would tell him that I needed air to breathe, but he’d somehow fucked those right out of me.
Lifting his head, he slid down my body, pulling my nipple into his mouth before releasing it with a bite. “Thanks, Cass.”
“Uh-huh,” I breathed, patting him on the shoulder. “Back atcha.”
Propping his elbow on my desk, he rested his chin in his hand as he grinned at me. “What’s wrong? Having trouble catching your breath?”
I held up two fingers, spaced just an inch apart.
Chuckling, he leaned forward and kissed me hard before finally releasing my body and allowing me to breathe properly. I sat up, hair disheveled and my clothes torn, then looked at him.
Sculpted body, a few scratches here and there from my nails, but his clothes were perfectly intact.
“How is that?”
“How’s what?” he asked as he pulled a hoodie over his head.
“My clothes look like someone attacked me. Again. And you somehow come out looking like you went for a run. So again, I ask. How?”
Shooting me a cocky grin, he kissed me hard as he zipped up his pants. “Just can’t seem to keep my hands off you.”
“Well, in future, perhaps you could carefully undo the buttons on my shirt. Or simply pull it over my head instead of ripping all of them. I’m running out of clothes.”
“I’ll do my best. Oh, and while we’re at it, you might want to think about locking your back door.”
“Why? Because you want it to be more difficult to get inside?”
“No, because anyone could sneak inside and steal from you. Or do something else,” he said pointedly.
“I’ve always left it open,” I shrugged. “Some people enter through that door so they don’t have to walk all the way around.”
“Seriously? Let them fucking walk. Safety is more important.”
“And while I appreciate your opinion, this is a small town, and I’ve always felt safe.”
His eyes narrowed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Even with what happened to Ellie?”
“That wasn’t in town,” I argued.
“Fine, then what about Bailey?”
I clenched my jaw, irritated that he was berating me like this. So, I decided to change the subject. Hopping off the desk, I walked over to my closet and grabbed a new outfit, something I’d learned to keep around.
“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Eating with my family.”
Tugging out pants and a blouse, I tried not to think about the fact that I generally wore skirts to work lately. And maybe that was because it gave Sam easier access when he snuck in.
“Well, if you want, you can come by my house. Remember, I’m cooking this year,” I winked over my shoulder.
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he huffed.
His quick, gruff answer took me by surprise so much that I turned around. “Why? It’s just going to be my parents. It’s not like it’s a big gathering.”
“For precisely that reason. The last thing I want is to meet the parents.”
Rolling my eyes, I started stripping out of my ruined clothes. “It’s not like that.”
“In this town, that’s exactly what it is. And the moment I show up at your house, the gossip mill is gonna spin.”
“Who cares? It’s gossip.”
“It’s something I don’t want. I just want to keep this between us.”
Sure I had heard him wrong, I just stared at him.
“Look,” he sighed. “It’s nothing personal.
But this town is crazy. The moment they get word of someone stepping into a bar together or sitting at the diner in the same booth, that’s it.
Everyone has an opinion. They dig and dig until they know every last detail of our lives, and that’s not what I want right now. ”
Yep, I had definitely heard him right.
“So, this is all a secret. That’s why you sneak in the back door and why you’ve never come to my house.”
Wow, I didn’t think it would hurt so bad to have someone say that, but surprisingly, it hurt really damn bad. I was someone’s dirty secret.
“It’s not like that,” he said, stepping forward until he was in my space, pulling me into his arms. “I can tell what you’re thinking, but I’m not ashamed of you or anything.
I just want this to be between us for as long as possible.
I don’t want all the questions about where this is going or when are we moving in together. I just want to enjoy the moment.”
Nodding, I stepped back, trying not to let his explanation dig an even deeper hole in my chest. A naive woman would believe the words coming out of his mouth.
That he really did just want privacy. But I knew better.
I wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t trying to keep this private.
He just wanted to have fun without the whole town pressuring him.
Fun. That’s all this was.
“Hey.” He nudged my chin, and I smiled forcefully, needing a minute to digest this new information. “I’ll see you soon. And don’t forget to lock that door.”
I nodded as he stepped back and walked right out the door, winking at me one last time.
Leaning back against the desk, I breathed heavily, feeling completely stupid about the whole thing. I didn’t even have anyone to blame but myself. I had begged him to take me home and fuck me.
There was no talk of dating or when we would see each other again. If anything, our entire experience was one step away from random fucking.
Actually…
“Oh God,” I moaned, turning and clunking my head down on the desk. “I’m his booty call!”
“What’s that?”
Gasping, I spun around, clutching my fist to my chest as I glared at Alyssa standing in the doorway. “Would you make some noise when you enter?”
“I’ve actually been here for about half an hour, but you were otherwise engaged,” she smirked as her eyes took in my still torn clothes. “And it sounded like it was really good.”
Tearing my shirt off, I tossed it in the trash and grabbed a new one. “Yeah, well…I doubt that’s gonna happen again.”
“Why?”
“Because he basically just told me that he only wanted to fuck me. Which, I already knew,” I sighed.
Tugging the shirt over my head, I growled in frustration when it got stuck on my clip that was tangled in my hair. Alyssa grabbed the material and helped me pull it down.
“You need to relax. Sam’s a good guy. He’s just…emotionally stunted.”
“And totally using me!” I snapped, grabbing my pants.
“And you’re using him, too. It’s not like you can say that you expected more. How long has this been going on?” she asked knowingly.
Longer than I cared to admit. “You can’t tell anyone. He doesn’t want any gossip spreading about him.”
“Girl, trust me. I like my secrets, too. I won’t say a word. But you need to figure out what you’re going to do about your little conundrum. Either you get good dick, or you wish you were getting good dick. Which is it gonna be?”
Yanking up my pants, I thought long and hard about her question. I did like the sex, but was I really willing to be his dirty little secret? I always thought that when I finally found someone who I connected with sexually, there would be so much good stuff to go along with it.
Date nights.
Movies on the couch while cuddling.
Breakfast at the diner.
But I would never have any of that as long as I was sleeping with Sam.
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, stop thinking about all that you’re gonna miss out on for just a moment. Instead, think of all the sneaking around. You would literally be the only people in town who could actually keep a secret.”
The thought was intriguing. And the sex was really amazing. “God, I don’t know.”
“Then sleep on it. Like I said, Sam is a good guy, so it’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.”
“No,” I sighed. “I just don’t know if I can actually handle all the secrecy.”
“It could be sexy.”
It could. It could also be the biggest mistake I’d ever make.
I hustled into the General Store, out of the cold and into the heat. The store was dead, considering the time of year. Normally, there would be at least a dozen women in here at any hour of the day, doing their shopping for Thanksgiving. Instead, there wasn’t a soul in sight.
That was largely due to the fact that John Callahan had aided his brother in deceiving the town regarding the missing girl over twenty-five years ago. Since then, the town had turned on him, refusing to use his store, even if that meant driving to the next town for groceries.
Well, I wasn’t that petty, and while I didn’t agree with his choices, I also knew that if this store died, the town would feel the pain when they all came to their senses.
“Morning,” I greeted Mr. Callahan, getting a half smile in return.
The old man had been through so much, and despite what the town said about him, I just couldn’t bring myself to judge him for his actions. I wasn’t sure what I would do in his situation.
And because of that, I chose not to engage in the gossip.
I wasn’t in his shoes, and hopefully, I never would be.
I pulled out my list and started scratching off one item at a time as I filled my cart, not paying attention to anything around me until I slammed my cart right into someone else’s.
“Oh, sorry—”
When I looked up, I was shocked to see Ellie standing across from me, her eyes not holding even an ounce of the life they once did.
I wasn’t sure what compelled me to do it.
I wasn’t normally an overly affectionate person, but right now, I couldn’t think of doing anything other than giving her a hug.
She sucked in a breath as I wrapped my arms around her, and then a moment later, relaxed and squeezed me back, gripping me like she needed a lifeline.
“How are you?” I whispered.
She shook her head, and that’s when I felt the tears on her cheeks and how desperately she was trying to hold it all in.
So, I stood there, holding her, hoping that in some way I was helping her. “Tell me what you need.”
“Ryder. My sanity. A few glasses of wine,” she chuckled, finally releasing me.
Stepping back, she wiped the tears from her eyes and blinked up at me with a grateful smile. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine.”