Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-two
ISAIAH
Dillon moves to the side, and we board the bus. Three paces inside, Cassidy’s feet still. She makes a slow spin, taking in our surroundings.
It wasn’t a secret to my industry buddies that Kylie’s and my career focus meant we led separate lives. Either of us appearing at a venue during the other’s performance schedules was a rarity. If we needed somewhere private to go, there were hotel rooms. I was alone a lot, so I bunked on the same bus as the band.
Cassidy’s offer to join me meant finding more appropriate accommodations that gave us privacy and the creature comforts of home. I solicited advice from a Piper Alivia, who I sang a duet with last year, and her husband Adriel. They toured with their family and offered great insights about adding a second bus to the tour.
Since we’re sticking as close to the truth as possible, I told Piper I met Cassidy and her child while she was a chef at the B&B and specifically asked about the galley kitchens. My open honesty about a new relationship soon after my wife’s death, and trying to satisfy Cassidy, had both Piper and Adriel dropping subtle hints about what else was important when traveling with growing kids. The underlying sentiment from them both seemed to be that I was finally seeing the forest for the trees, ready to settle down for real, and it was only a matter of time before I was singing her daughter lullabies.
If they only knew the half of it.
I took Piper’s feedback—and some good-natured ribbing from Adriel—then Vespa outdid herself finding this tour bus. I don’t even give a shit the short notice meant I paid through the nose for it. It’s a fucking investment and we’ll use it again. And all the upgrades are beyond worthwhile to keep Cassidy happy.
Lush can’t begin to describe the tonal whites and grays with blue accent trim. Past Dillon’s driver’s seat and to the left is a small workstation with a laptop open on it. There is a television mounted to the wall above the reclining seat. Across from that is a leather couch with soft throw pillows. The drawers underneath hide Aria’s toys, blankets, and the thirty-seven bibs she soaks through daily between feedings and teething. I love the way her bottom teeth show when she smiles. Granted, I’ve also laughed when Aria frowns and her lower lip wobbles because the baby’s frustrated expression is so damn cute.
“What do you think?” I ask.
“It’s… Spacious.” Cassidy is speechless.
I was too when Vespa showed me the pictures. Now I’m bouncing with excitement.
“The front lounge bump out is open, so when we’re moving we’ll lose the walking space in front of the sofa,” I explain. “The table rises from the floor for a sit-down meal.”
Cassidy nods and keeps turning. Her chin is what’s on the floor.
I know what she saw when she got on and that she’s actively avoiding looking at it on the off-chance it disappears. She locks her eyes on a full-size refrigerator instead. “Is that stocked?”
“With essentials to start. You can shop whenever we stop or order delivery to resupply.”
“Just look, Cass. Look!”
She covers her mouth when she does. “It’s gorgeous.” She fans her face, trying not to cry.
Opposite the fridge, the wide kitchen countertop has a large sink, a thick wooden board she can use to chop vegetables or roll dough, and a full-size four-burner stove big enough for stock pots. Next to that is a double oven. The microwave is built into the top cabinetry.
“I need that for midnight snacking.” I nudge her. “And look at this.” I pull a lever and a dishwasher pops out from the lower cabinet.
“That’s incredible.” She licks her lips and inhales, running a hand along the counter. “I swear I have butterflies. No one’s ever done anything this extravagant for me.”
“I’d hoped you’d be impressed.” I grin, taking Aria from her while Cassidy opens and closes the cabinet doors. “On the other bus, the band still has to hand wash their plates and cups. Although most of the time we stick to paper products because we’ve mostly eaten take-out… Ready for the rest?”
“You’re not topping this. Maybe I should just stand here and soak it in.”
“Chou, you’re the only woman I know who ogles a kitchen like it’s a man’s ass.” Though secretly I’m thrilled at her response.
“Oh, are you feeling neglected? Poor Isaiah.” She reaches around Aria and grabs my butt.
We’re otherwise alone and I don’t hesitate sliding my tongue against hers when I tuck my hand into her updo and kiss her.
I think it’s important for the baby to see us being affectionate. From the get-go, I believed I stood in the way of Aria having a normal life. I didn’t know, before falling for Cassidy, together we could give Aria the experience of having a family. Then it felt like my only choice was to lose one or both of them.
I love the baby, and I love Cassidy. They’re the secret ingredient to making me whole.
I’m glad we took it slow after Cassidy found it in her heart to forgive me. I’ve missed her body, but having to rely on the fantasy of her and my hand is nothing compared to knowing how much I’d have given up had I refused to be patient.
I study Cassidy. She’s pulled her hair into a ponytail with a pink ribbon. It has a waterfall appearance. A red, ruffled tee, jeans skirt, and low-heeled sandals on her feet. She’s so damn girl-next-door sexy, with a sassy, challenging mouth. It kills me I never realized a woman like her was out there. I’m the richest son of a bitch that ever lived.
“I’m feeling neglected all right. But I haven’t shown you the bedroom yet.”
She puts her hand on her denim-clad waist. “This whole ‘I love you’ thing has you certain you’re getting back in my pants.”
“It does. How else can I convince you to even the weight on my hips?” I cock my head toward Aria and shimmy like I’m on stage. Cassidy’s expression registers shock. “I do believe the last time I rendered you as speechless as I have twice today, my tongue was between your legs.”
I notice Cassidy’s stance has changed. She’s rubbing her thighs together. She misses my cock as much as I miss her pussy. We’re fucking epic together. Just look at us living life with the munchkin we have.
She covers Aria’s ears. “You can’t say things like that in front of a baby.”
“When Aria is finally old enough to understand what I’ve said, there will be a bunch just like her, running circles around us in their bare feet.” Damn. Piper and Adriel weren’t so far off, were they? “You want kids, chou?” I assumed she did. Having another child with Cassidy is less scary than being left alone to raise one, which is what I’m doing now. “If you ask me, Aria’s big sister material.”
The baby chooses that moment to blow a raspberry, making me laugh. Cassidy uses her shirt bottom to wipe the drool off Aria’s chin.
“I’ve never imagined myself pregnant without being married. That doesn’t mean I didn’t give credence to stepchildren. I suppose it sounds old-fashioned, and I understand that commitment doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, but it’s the foundation I want.”
“Ring first. Noted.” I’ll get on my knees and grovel for Colton Cavanaugh’s permission to marry Cassidy if that’s what it takes to make her happy. “Come on, you got to give me a tour of the ranch, so it’s only fair I get to finish my tour.”
I point next to the fridge. “Half bath.” I open and close the restroom door for a quick peek. It’s a tight squeeze toward the back lounge. We stop next between four bunks, two on each side of the bus.
“This one I reserved for me for late nights.” I draw a curtain on the right, revealing a twin mattress. There is a shelf and elastic pocket for personal effects and a small TV. Then I move another curtain below it. “Aria’s bunk. It has a zippered screen. It’s sort of like her play yard, so that she’s safe in here when you’re busy in the kitchen.”
Cassidy twists to the top left. “Is this mine?”
“That’s Monty’s. Steve’s is below. Vespa prefers the couch if she’s driving between stops. Mostly she flies.”
Vespa and Dillon stay at the same hotel in between travel time.
On a technicality, Cassidy is a contractor and getting paid to be on tour. Both of us freaked about how the other interpreted any money being exchanged at all. She was a hard negotiator, but I couldn’t see asking her to give up her role at the inn to take care of Aria and me without compensation. So, she agreed to accept enough to cover her bills with some padding in case of an emergency.
When I saw her final offer, I didn’t think it was enough and Cassidy worried that it was too much. She’s not a kept woman. For fuck’s sake, I’m not sure you could keep a Cavanaugh woman. Rhiannon was correct. Under the gracious exterior, they have a strength that’s their own. Cassidy gives more than she takes and falling for her has proven she has the power to break me the way no other woman could.
Initially, Will and the band were under the impression the only way I cajoled her into signing on as my private chef was agreeing the baby could come. It didn’t take long for their minds to shift and for them to understand there’s more between us. Although we plan to let people believe Aria belongs to Cassidy indefinitely.
She does in a way, doesn’t she? Cass is the only maternal figure Aria has had other than a nursemaid. When it’s the three of us, I think what the baby got is far more than what she lost out on.
Would Kylie have taken Aria on tour? Who would be there, watching her grow, while her mother was on stage? What will become of Aria if her biological father isn’t the kind of man who’d walk away from a steady job, from his entire life, to keep her safe? He’s never even sought out the baby. I’m sure Cassidy and I can give this little girl the childhood she deserves.
“Okey-doke. So where do I—” Cassidy grows impatient.
“This is you.” I reach for a knob. Behind the bunk beds is a bedroom with a queen size bed. The cushy white comforter calls my name and I’m hoping it’s calling Cassidy’s, too.
“I can’t possibly. Isaiah, this room is supposed to be for you. You’re the star!”
“Why? So I can wake you and Aria up after a show? That makes no sense. She’s used to falling asleep snuggled beside you now, chou. This is easier for everyone.”
We created a demon letting her fall asleep in the front carrier. With all the preparations, I hadn’t been able to walk as much the past week. Knowing I’d miss her bedtime routine more often, Cassidy and Aria have been reading books and cuddling after the baby’s bath.
The bathroom is the final room. And while I know getting excited about the crapper is a cliché guy thing, it’s as holy shit cool as everything else on the bus. “I’ll try not to forget anything in here before a performance. I don’t want to wake you.”
“You’re taking the bed.” Cassidy tries to fight me.
She doesn’t see how hitting my head on the refrigerator that first morning at Kingsbrier knocked some sense into me. This is the woman who gave up her vacation to entertain a depressed widower. She gives up her rules about not cooking when her niece asks her to bake cookies. She created a sense of normalcy for two lost souls and left her job, and her home, to keep that alive. She did those things because she’s Cassidy, and because she is who she is, Cass doesn’t see that I intend to give her everything she needs to be happy.
“What are…” Cassidy gets a good look at the bedroom walls and her voice trails off.
Hanging up are snapshots Rhiannon has taken of us over the past few months. The one we faked of the baby’s first Christmas. Cereal spurting out of Aria’s face when I fed her solid food and Cassidy laughing in the background. Cassidy and Aria splashing in the mansion’s heated pool. Me, Aria, and Cassidy in the field across the street from the B&B having a picnic. Cassidy holding a smiling Aria while Colton plays peek-a-boo with her. Me lifting Aria over my head while trying to eat her hairy hobbit toes. And next to the bed there’s a final frame placed in front of three lit electric pillar candles—me, wearing the abs t-shirt, catching a swooning Cassidy.
She looks at each picture, laughing or sighing as she recalls each moment. Ones I don’t ever want to forget. Ones I can’t fathom having gone without, though I understand now how grief drove me to make irrational choices. Then Cassidy turns her attention to me. Her fingers clench at her neck. Her eyes are watery and her lips twist.
The pictures had exactly the effect I’d gone for. The corners of my lips lift as I reach out my empty hand and pull the woman that made us a family into my arms.