Chapter 15
Naomi tries her best to avoid bumping into strangers as she speed-walks down Broadway. She’s desperate to make it to the theater in time after the last-minute response from Trevor Gray, who has invited her to talk before his next show.
Doing as Trevor instructed, Naomi bypasses the entrance and enters through the side of the building before sending a text. Here.
She stares at her phone, feeling a bit awkward as she waits for a response.
“Over here!” a friendly voice calls out seconds later.
Naomi looks up and sees Trevor waving at her, standing halfway out of his dressing room. He’s shorter than she expected but he makes up for it in personality. He’s wearing jeans, a hoodie, and a pair of red Air Jordans. Naomi passes racks of costumes and props as she makes her way over.
“You made it.” He reaches out for a hug.
“Of course,” Naomi replies, a smile tugging at her lips. “Thank you so much again for agreeing to speak to me.”
His warm brown eyes and genuine smile make her feel at ease, like they’ve been friends for years.
“Sit, sit,” Trevor says, gesturing to a rolling chair. Aside from the extravagant vanity with the Hollywood-style bulbs, the room isn’t anything special. White walls, white curtains, and dark wooden furniture.
She turns her attention back to Trevor, who’s beaming with pride. “So what’s it like being the star for a change?”
He blushes, waving his hand dismissively. “Please, I’m not the star.”
Naomi tilts her head, smirking. “You just won a Tony. I think it’s safe to say you’re one now.”
He purses his lips and pretends to fling invisible long hair over his shoulder.
“Is it as glamorous as it seems?” Naomi asks.
“If you consider taking the subway here and eating a cup of noodles for dinner glamorous, then sure.” His laugh is infectious. So loud and boisterous it makes her laugh.
“But being here, at one of Broadway’s best theaters—I mean, I know you’ve performed at Madison Square Garden and other huge arenas—but this is pretty amazing.”
Trevor sucks in his cheeks and looks away before grinning widely. “Okay, yeah, it’s pretty fucking glamorous.”
“I knew it.” Naomi says, waving a finger at him. “So what made you make the switch, anyway? From backup dancer for Harlow to theater?”
Trevor purses his lips. “Well, a few things. I come from a small town.” He raises his eyebrows in emphasis.
“Like, a really small town, with so few people that everybody knows everybody. And all I wanted to do was to explore the world.” He uncrosses his arms, extending his right arm, palm up.
“So as you know, I did that for a while but it got to be a lot. Mostly because I fell in love and it sucked leaving my boyfriend all the time.” He leans back.
“Anyway, Brandon had the idea for me to audition for Broadway and, well, here we are.”
Naomi’s about to comment on how sweet that is when Trevor adds, “But I’d be lying if I said Harlow had nothing to do with the decision.” His smile fades, replaced by a set of pursed lips.
“Why?”
“Because she’s a stone-cold bitch.”
Naomi’s eyes widen, surprised by the outburst. Bobby was so complimentary of Harlow, even sympathizing with her. But Trevor clearly feels differently.
“Wait. I thought you two were friends?” She thinks of the countless photos she’s seen of the two of them on tour, laughing hysterically. Harlow even posted birthday tributes to Trevor, and he did the same for her. “What happened?”
He raises a brow. “Well, we used to be friends. Close friends. She’d confide in me about Colton or whatever was going on.” He rolls his eyes at the mention of Colton’s name. “Sorry, not to talk bad about the dead, but I wasn’t a fan.”
Naomi’s surprised to hear Trevor has a similar opinion to Bobby. “Can you elaborate on that for me? You’re the second person today to say something like that, which surprises me since, before then, I hadn’t really heard a bad thing about Colton.”
He lets out a laugh, as if Colton’s glowing reputation annoys him.
“I mean, I can’t pretend I knew the guy well but I just have a sense for people.
And I had a bad one about him. Not only would he make Harlow cry and pick constant fights with her, but he just always seemed too smooth. Too polished. Fake.”
“Do you know what they’d fight over?”
“Harlow never went into too much detail, but with how quickly he moved on to Meghan, I assume him cheating was one of many reasons.”
Naomi makes a note, confirming her suspicion that Colton may have cheated on Harlow with Jade.
“But anyway, I was there for her. In fact, the last time I spoke to her was when she called me in tears after a fight with Colton. I calmed her down, told her she deserved better, and that I’d always be there for her.
And she told me she’d always be there for me.
Fucking heartbreaking.” Trevor pauses, swallowing.
“And then, out of nowhere, she stops replying to my texts, won’t answer my calls.
And then, boom! Charlie fires her entire dance team, citing bullshit ‘budget’ reasons.
And the worst part is, Harlow completely ghosted me after that.
Not even bothering to explain or apologize. ”
Just like Bobby, Naomi thinks. “When was this?”
“End of 2021.”
Timing fits, Naomi thinks. “And you haven’t spoken to her since?”
“No. The last time—” He stops, then shakes his head.
“Well, the last time I saw her, about a year after I last spoke to her, she just completely blanked me. Walked right past me without saying a word…” He laughs in disbelief.
“I was livid, as you can imagine, but also so shocked I didn’t bother saying anything.
I wasn’t going to chase her down. If she didn’t give a shit about me, I didn’t give one about her…
Ball was in her court and she stabbed it with a knife.
She was finished with me, so I was finished with her. And that was that.”
His eyes glaze over with tears as he looks down, face flushed. Naomi can see how much Harlow’s hurt him.
“I’m sorry she treated you like that,” she says, a new picture of Harlow forming in her head.
“It is what it is. Worst part was that I watched her hurt my other friends too. She should’ve at least had the balls to do it herself. Not send Charlie to do her dirty work.”
After her interview with Bobby, when she learned of Harlow dumping her music crew, Naomi wondered if it was a coincidence. But now, after learning she also fired her dance crew and completely cut off one of her good friends, it’s apparent it was purposeful.
“Do you think there was something major that happened around that time that perhaps affected her and was causing her to kind of cut everyone out?”
“Well, this all kind of happened around the time she went to rehab. End of 2021. After Colton’s engagement. But honestly, she’d been acting off for a few months at that point. Kind of all over the place, distracted. Usually she never let her bullshit with Colton interfere with her work, but…”
Naomi thinks about the timing of it all again and the reason she wanted to speak to Trevor in the first place.
“So Colton got engaged to Meghan end of December 2021, and a few months before that was the VMAs…”
Trevor rolls his eyes knowingly. “Exactly. That was when it all started. That trainwreck of a performance. Trag-ed-y.”
“Did you know that performance was the night after Jade Dutton was last seen alive?” Naomi says, a little more excitedly than she meant.
“Who’s Jade—” Trevor starts, before the lightbulb goes on. He stares at Naomi with an expression of horror and curiosity.
Naomi nods. “There are rumors that Jade was killed by asphyxiation.” She brings her hands to her throat to get the point across.
“Oh my god.” Trevor stands up and starts pacing back and forth.
He pauses, ready to speak, but nothing comes out.
He paces again. “Are you telling me you think she freaked out during the dance move…” He stops and mouths “No” before continuing.
“That she freaked out when I put my hands around her neck—like we’d rehearsed hundreds of times—because she’d just choked someone to death the night before? ”
He stares at Naomi, eyes bugging. Naomi shrugs, implying that’s exactly what she thinks. Especially after hearing Trevor’s timeline of events.
*
By the time Naomi leaves the theater, the daylight has all but faded, replaced by the glow of the bright city lights.
She does a three-sixty turn as she walks through Times Square, taking in the scene.
Tourists smiling, taking photos. Groups of friends laughing.
Couples holding hands. Vendors selling hot dogs, candied nuts, and light-up balloons for children.
Street performers dressed up in costumes.
Celebrities’ faces plastered on huge digital billboards.
It’s a beautiful sight. But when she listens closely, when she takes a deeper breath, the sounds and smells start to paint a different picture.
She starts to notice the unpleasant undercurrents of her surroundings, hiding beneath the city’s glamorous facade.
Like the sirens behind the upbeat music.
The stench of body odor masked by cheap perfume. Arguments drowned out by laughter.
Naomi imagines all the poor souls who come to New York to “make it big” but only manage to leave behind a legacy of broken dreams and disappointment, still palpable in the polluted city air.
*
Back at Joel’s apartment, Naomi doesn’t waste any time getting the details Trevor spilled about Harlow onto the wall.
She writes two new headers on pink Post-it notes in black Sharpie, both branching from Harlow’s image in the center.
She moves a few pieces of paper from the “other” section to below the relevant headers, and quickly scrawls down new details, before adding them too.
Harlow doesn’t forgive and forget
Jax Paulson: Radio host blasted her nomination as VMAs’ Artist of the Year in 2015; fired in 2018
Colton: Trevor seemed to hate him, Bobby also hinted H wasn’t happy with him—both implied he gaslit, and possibly cheated on her
Possible Colton cheated with Jade?
Bill Lever’s “suicide” after sexual assault allegations—some think Harlow could’ve been involved, citing photo of them arguing, lyrics mentioning him
Harlow’s reinvention after Jade’s death
Completely changed style (see Avant article from August 2023)
Cut ties with family and friends
Cut ties with dance crew and music team
Darker lyrics, new sound (see Apotheosis album review)
Possible scrapped album in 2019—could she have spilled more clues in these lost lyrics?
Harlow implies she’s embracing “the darkness” in interview, in response to question about the meaning of her Apotheosis album
Starts leaving Easter eggs around Apotheosis (i.e.
, social media posts hinting to upcoming tracks—see Music Journal article dated August 2023—plus callbacks to past and future work in music videos for “Cruel Delights” and “Violent Ends”)—are there others that fans haven’t picked up on yet?
Ones that hint to her darker secrets/personal life?
Despite all her questions, Naomi feels like meeting with Trevor and Bobby allowed her to make good progress.
It’s clear that something major happened at the end of 2021, an event significant enough to make Harlow cut ties with family and friends and to prompt her to completely reinvent herself over the next year and a half.
And, whether she committed murder or not, Naomi is convinced that event has something to do with Jade’s death.
And now she has reason to believe that Colton wasn’t a good boyfriend and that it’s very possible he could have cheated on Harlow with Jade, there’s motive.
Naomi hopes it’s not as clear-cut as that, though. If she’s learned anything from her research, it’s that Harlow is far from a cliché. She might be a killer, but Naomi doesn’t think “scorned woman” is her modus operandi.
Her eyes drift over the board, moving from the Easter eggs to photos, landing on Bill Lever’s.
Even though Bobby was unconvinced, she thinks about the possibility of Harlow having killed him as well.
Lets herself consider the fact that Harlow could’ve killed three people, which would make her a serial killer.
Then, Naomi thinks about how some of the most notorious serial killers left clues, almost wanting the police and public to figure out who they were, so they could get the “glory.”
A chill prickles at the back of her neck as she stares at Harlow’s photo, feeling like she’s trying to tell her something. Go on, figure it out.
Other clues are out there, Naomi is sure of it. She just has to find them, and piece them all together.