Chapter fifteen #2
Releasing my cheek from between my teeth, my lips part with shock. I’m back to the freeze response.
Adrian steps forward, taking one of my motionless hands in his.
“I’ve been thinking about you, dreaming about being with you for a really long time now.
For too long. I don’t know how you feel about me, and I told myself that I didn’t want to stress you out if you didn’t see me the same way, but I was being a coward to not speak up sooner.
Because you are the most . . . the most .
. .” He struggles to find words, and I’m still too frozen to respond.
“You’re the most. The most of everything.
I want to be with you, and you deserve to know that,” he says as he squeezes my hand between his, rocking his weight back and forth between his feet.
“You deserve to know that I see you as everything, even if you don’t see me that way.
Even if I’ve messed up our friendship forever, I can’t regret that because you needed to know you’re that important to me.
” His confession sinks in, and movement returns to my muscles as he says, “So, I said it, and now you can tell me if I’ve screwed up the—”
I throw myself at Adrian, wrapping my arms around his torso, resting my cheek against his chest. His arms fold around me as he lowers his cheek to the top of my head. One of his hands cradles behind my neck, holding me tightly against him as though afraid I might float away.
For my part, I hold as still as a statue, afraid that moving will snap me out of a hallucination. I don’t even breathe until Adrian murmurs into my hair, “Please tell me this means what it seems like it means.”
Taking a full breath, I nod my head against his chest, and his arms cinch tighter around me.
We stand there, two threads knit together, until a door clunks opens on the floor below us.
Tipping my head back, I feel the pressure of Adrian’s fingers against my scalp and nearly forget what I intended to say.
“We should go inside so we can talk,” I whisper, even as I clench my fingers tighter against the muscles of Adrian’s back, reluctant to ever let go.
The first hint of a smile appears on Adrian’s lips before he tilts my head to the side and presses a whispering kiss against my temple.
I think I’ve just died. This is heaven—his lips against my skin.
He unwraps his arms even though mine remain locked in place around him. This brings a full smile to his face, and he murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere, cielo.”
Voices below us break me out of my stupor, and I quickly unlock my apartment door so we can be safe from any intrusive eyes. As I step through the doorway and flip on a light, I ask, “What were you thinking sitting out there? Someone could have seen and recognized you.”
Adrian doesn’t answer—he swiftly pulls me back to him as he kicks the door shut with one foot.
This time, his arms envelop my waist as he buries his face in the crook of my neck.
I clasp my hands around his neck, reminded of our slow dance two nights ago.
Sighing at both the past memory and the present reality, I allow myself to melt against him.
He says, “I wasn’t thinking about it. I was too terrified you would tell me you could never see me this way to worry about being recognized.
I was worried that you’d kick me off the deck and yell at me for ruining a good friendship.
The longer I sat there, the more scared I got that you’d hate me for asking for more. ”
“It’s impossible to hate you when I like you this much,” I reply as I tangle my fingers through the curls on the back of his head.
Adrian groans and pulls his face away from my neck, only to take my face in both hands. “You don’t even know the tortured thoughts I’ve had since you touched my hair trying to hide it under the hat. Did you even understand what you were doing to me?”
My lips twitch. “Honestly, no. If you had said all of this to me a few weeks ago, I would have been blindsided. Because I was completely oblivious to the feelings I had for you until, well, until today, basically.”
His smile is tender as he says, “It’s been conscious torture for a little bit longer than that for me.
” His gaze drops to my lips, and he murmurs, “Sam, I’m dying to kiss you.
But I’m not going to do that now. Not on the first day you pieced all this together.
I’m going to give you time to wrap your head around us being more than friends.
I’m going to woo you until you understand just how much I cherish you before I kiss you. ”
Heat floods my cheeks as I picture—very vividly—him kissing me, and I can’t stop my lips from softly parting again. Adrian watches the movement, then slowly leans down, pressing a searing kiss to the spot where my ear meets my jawline. He whispers against my ear, “But I want to. Know that.”
My instincts tell my vocal cords to announce that he should just go ahead. My heart tells my muscles to press forward and kiss Adrian myself.
But the blaring alarm of reason in my brain tells everything to stop.
Stop. You have to slow down. You can’t immediately jump to full speed with no brakes. Don’t do that again. Don’t be a mess.
You don’t want to mess this up. Not with Adrian.
Sighing, I lean back, clasp my fingers around Adrian’s hands, and pull them away from my face. I lace my fingers through his and hold our hands between us. “It’s gonna take me a few days to process that this happened. That it’s really happening.”