Chapter 38 Fletcher
thirty-eight
Fletcher
Ican’t even imagine how he’s feeling.” Stella rests a hand on her stomach.
She’s ready to pop, her due date’s around the corner, but I’m getting Déjà vu from the day I found out she and Chase were having a baby.
“Elise was always such a welcoming woman. I was really hopeful that she was going to pull through this.” Chase drops a hand on Stella’s knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“She was always Zeke’s entire world. Every time he came over here, he spoke so highly of her.
He was so excited every time she entered remission, even if it was only temporary. ”
“Yeah, he thought she had finally pulled through. Honestly, if you had seen her, you never would’ve questioned her health. She looked healthier than she had in a long time.” Tate pushes a strand of hair behind her ear.
When Zeke’s mom ended up in the hospital, and we found out that she wouldn’t be pulling through this time, I knew I needed to go home.
I don’t come home often, typically only for holidays and occasionally for a surprise visit or birthday, but the minute that happened, the first thing I wanted to do was come home.
I called my moms that night, after Tate and I left the hospital, and told them what was going on and that I’d be coming home in a few days because I just really needed my moms.
I couldn’t imagine going through the rest of my life and all of my biggest accomplishments without them. Knowing Zeke won’t have his mom when he signs with the Red Wings or when he plays his first game in the NHL. It made me realize I take having them for granted.
I’ve always appreciated my parents and everything they’ve done for me, but it’s a different kind of appreciation now.
“Who’s with him now?” Stella asks, leaning back on the couch. “I take it he’s been staying at the hospital.”
“Oh, you’ll never believe this.” I sit forward. “Zeke has a girlfriend.”
“What?” Chase’s jaw drops. “He hasn’t dated anyone since—”
“High school.” I cut him off. “I know. And the craziest thing is they’ve been seeing each other since October.”
“October?” Stella’s eyes widen. “And you didn’t know about it?”
Tate sits forward, her hand resting on my knee as she does, “No, nobody had any idea. He was kind of dodgy and disappeared all the time, but we just assumed it was because of his mom.”
“You guys weren’t confused when women stopped rotating through your front door?” Chase chuckles.
“Again, we know how important his mom is.” My hand instinctively lands on Tate’s. “We didn’t question him not being around. Honestly, we constantly made up reasons why he wasn’t.”
“Speaking of relationships.” Stella crosses her arms, but they sit high on her chest due to her belly. “What’s going on here?”
“What do you mean?”
“Chase and I were sitting exactly the same way the two of you are sitting right now, just moments ago.” Stella grins. “Your hand hasn’t left Tate’s since it got there.”
“What, friends can’t comfort each other?” I scoff, but I know we’re done for.
Not that we planned on hiding our relationship, especially not this long, but every time we thought about telling our friends, something came up.
First, Declan and Brin found out their parents were getting a divorce. Ember and Declan’s relationship fell apart, and then Brinley and Alex were officially dating. We didn’t want to steal their thunder, and then Zeke’s mom got sick, and it just never felt like a good time to bring this up.
Bigger things were going on that we needed to worry about.
The only people who currently know about us are Jeremy, Becca, Naomi, and Ethan. Well, I guess Chase and Stella know now, too.
“When?” Chase’s eyes study mine.
“Valentine’s Day.”
“Aw, that’s so romantic.” Stella’s face lights up.
“Did Tate make the first move?” Chase’s eyes narrow. “I always felt like she’d make the first move.”
“Actually, I did.”
“After I told him we couldn’t be friends anymore.”
“You told him you couldn’t be friends anymore?” Stella gasps.
“I mean, he came in and started tearing into me, accusing me of being jealous and distant, which I was, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.”
“She fails to mention I was walking into my house, and she was sitting on my couch, and I could just feel the tension in the air.”
“So, after attempting to deny everything, I exploded, and then he said he was scared to lose me, and I asked him how that was working out for him—”
“Okay, Tate.” Stella smiles. “Stand your ground.”
“And then he left.”
“I did. But then I thought, why am I leaving my house? And if she’s ending our friendship, then why wouldn’t I do the one thing that I’ve been fighting for years? So, I came back and kissed her.”
“And that was that.”
“It sounds like a romance movie.” Stella gleams. “I would totally watch that.”
“I’m happy for you guys.” Chase stands up, and I meet him between the couches, hugging him. He gives me a couple of firm pats on the back. “You’re good for each other.”
“Speaking of people being good for each other.” Tate pulls a gift bag out of her bag. “Sorry, we couldn’t make it to the baby shower, but that didn’t prevent me from buying out the baby section at the store.”
“Honestly, she would’ve bought a ton more if I didn’t cut her off.”
Tate hands the bag to Stella, and Chase sits back down next to her as she takes out the first item. The cutest little overalls with Mickey Mouse on the front pocket matched with a cute, striped shirt.
“Oh, my goodness.” Stella cries. “This is so cute. It’s perfect! Honestly, this is one of the best things we’ve gotten for him.”
“She pretty much cries over everything nowadays.”
Stella swings her arm into his gut, and a puff of air escapes his mouth.
“The man puts a baby in me and then is surprised when the baby causes his momma to be super hormonal.”
Tate chuckles.
“I mean, how could you not cry looking at this. Like, how is my baby going to be this small?” She holds the overalls up to give us a clearer view.
I know not all babies are born the same size, but when we were looking through the newborn clothes, I thought about how small babies are when they’re first born.
Then I thought about how some women push a baby out of their vagina, and suddenly the newborn onesies didn’t seem so small.
“I thought the same thing, and then I thought about pushing out the baby that would fit in those clothes, and suddenly they seemed a lot bigger,” Tate replies as Stella pulls out the next thing.
“Do you want kids?” Stella isn’t staring at the onesie currently in her hands but at Tate.
“No.” She shakes her head.
“You don’t?” I turn toward her, honestly surprised this has never come up.
Sure, we’ve only been dating for a couple of months, but she’s been my best friend for nearly fifteen years.
“No,” she repeats. “I’ve never seen myself taking on that role in my life.
I don’t want to have a baby and have them go through what I did as a kid.
I know where my priorities lie for my future, and it’s in my career.
I know what it’s like to have parents more focused on their careers than their kids, so no, I don’t plan on having any. ”
I can feel Chase’s eyes on me.
He knows I’ve always wanted a big family, precisely for the same reason Tate doesn’t want one; incredible parents raised me. I was raised in a loving household surrounded by siblings.
I don’t know why I never considered that not being part of Tate’s plan.
“You still have time, though; it’s not something you have to know right now.” Chase rubs Stella’s back.
“I don’t see myself changing my mind on this.” Tate shrugs, and I can tell she’s feeling a bit uncomfortable. He’s not trying to badger her; she has every right to not want to have kids. It’s a bigger commitment for her than it would be for me.
Obviously, once the baby is born, I’d be 100% hands-on, but I also wouldn’t have to step away from work during the pregnancy. She could try to work and be a mom, but you never know what will happen while you’re pregnant.
“There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be a mom.” Stella chimes in. “It’s not for everyone. And you should never feel pressured into it.”
“Do you want kids?” Her eyes soften as they try to read my expression.
“I want you.” I rest my forehead against hers. “That’s what matters to me.”
She gives me a gentle kiss, but as she pulls back, I feel like there’s a piece of her missing.
And I don’t know what that means in terms of us.
I would choose her over a family any day.
She’s it for me.
She always has been.
It’s just my moms, Tate, and me for lunch today. Stella and Chase were going to come back over, but she had an ultrasound.
“Have you talked to Zeke today?” My mama takes a sip of her soda; her eyes never leave me.
“No. Tate talked to Avalon this morning, and I guess there’s this garden outside of the hospital that his mom loves that he was going to take her to today.”
“That poor boy.” My mom frowns. “He’s such a sweetheart and doesn’t deserve to go through this. I mean, nobody does. It’s bad enough losing a parent, but losing them in this way.”
“Yeah. I don’t even want to think about how this will change Zeke.” Tate tugs on her ear, twisting the earring.
“The change is inevitable. It’s hard to grieve without it.” My mom reaches for Tate’s arm and gives it a squeeze.
The table falls silent, all of our minds elsewhere, on someone else. That is until my momma speaks up—
“Speaking of change.” She looks between Tate and me. “We weren’t going to bring it up, but we also feel like if we don’t, our heads might explode.”
My forehead wrinkles as I try to figure out what they’re talking about, and then it hits me.
“Chase told you.”
They laugh.
“He didn’t have to,” Mom replies. “Did you really think no one would catch the two of you kissing over by the big oak tree in Tate’s backyard?”
“You’ve known for that long and didn’t say anything?”
“We knew when you were ready to come to us, you would. But with everything going on, we assumed you wouldn’t,” Mom continues. “Your mama has been dying to ask all of the questions.”
“Can you ask them after we finish our lunch?” I cross my arms. “And then we will tell you the whole story.”
Okay, not the whole story because there’s no way I’m talking about mine and Tate’s sex life with my moms, but the rest of the details are definitely fair game.
“Deal.” Mama grins, stabbing her fork into her salad.
My phone vibrates against the table, and my eyes, as well as Tate’s, dart to my phone.
My hand trembles as I pick it up. I don’t even have to unlock my phone; the message is pasted on my screen.
I let out a shaky breath and look up at three sets of eyes already on me.
“She’s gone.” I hold back my tears. “Mrs. Harris is gone.”