Chapter 40 Tate
forty
Tate
I’m hoping the girls can help give me some clarity on the whole Fletcher situation.
I love him; I always have. However, having kids or not, having kids is something you can't compromise on. I don’t want him to miss out on that part of his life if it’s something he truly wants, but I also don’t want to give in if it’s not something I want.
I want him. I know that.
However, I can’t promise him that someday I’ll want to start a family, and that wouldn’t be fair to him.
“Brin’s still not here?” Maia sits down next to Avalon in the booth, Ember and I sitting across from them.
“No, she hasn’t even sent a text in the group chat.” I lean forward, resting on the table.
I told the girls I needed advice, but I wanted to get all of their input at once. Mainly so I don’t have to rehash the situation more than once.
The bell rings above the door, but Brinley doesn’t enter. Instead, a frantic Declan enters.
“Declan?” Ember’s eyebrows furrow. “What are—”
“I need you to not say anything,” he begs.
“Say anything about—”
The bell rings again, and this time Brinley enters. She brushes by Declan, acting as if he’s not even there, and squeezes in next to Maia.
My eyes are instantly drawn to it, the purplish-black bruise surrounding her eye.
“Hey, Brin, happy you made it.” I can’t stop staring at her eye.
“I’m not an idiot, goober; I know you warned them about it before I came in. You running into the diner was not at all subtle.” She glances up at Declan, who’s running a hand through his hair.
“Have I told you lately how amazing you are?” He clasps his hands together, rocking back on his heels.
“Don’t even.”
“What the hell happened to your eye?” Ember reaches out, almost like she plans to touch it, but then pulls her hand back.
Brinley doesn’t say anything; she just looks up at her brother.
“Oh my god, Declan hit you?!” Ember jumps out of the booth, ready to beat the hell out of her boyfriend.
“With a door.” Declan holds up his arms to try to block Ember’s hands, which drop the second he says that.
“A door?” Her head tilts.
“How did he hit you with—” The realization strikes before I can finish my sentence. “Oh, your door.”
“Yeah, the door I was told WAS FIXED!”
“It was a miscommunication.”
“Miscommunication?” Maia glances up at Declan.
“Jaxon texted me asking if I fixed Brinley’s door, but I missed the question mark in his text. So, I read it as ‘the door’s fixed’ even though he just said ‘door’s fixed’ because I missed the question mark,” he repeats that last part with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
“So, I didn’t even bother to check my door when I went in to do my skincare this morning. Next thing I know, I can’t get out of the door, and I have a final to take in less than an hour.” She glares at Declan. “I called Alex even though I knew he was in a final, and then called my amazing brother.”
“So, how did the black eye happen. How did the door give her a black eye?” Avalon rests her head against her hand, fully invested in the story.
“I got to Brin’s place and was trying to run into her door, hoping it would open, but I couldn't get it to budge.”
“It took all of us the last time it got stuck.” I shrug, motioning around the table.
“Anyway, I thought if she pulled from one side and I pushed from the other, we could get it open… and we did.”
“However, the doorknob swung back so fast it whacked me right in the eye.”
“And right onto the floor.”
“Thank you for that visual, goober. I bet they really needed it.”
“I didn’t think it was that bad, but I wanted to bring her to the hospital just in case there was something internal I couldn’t see. And between her apartment and the hospital, her eye swelled up like a… well, like that.”
“You’re lucky you’re still alive.” Ember crosses her arms. “If that was me, you wouldn’t be.”
“I love you, too, baby.” He presses his lips against the top of Ember’s head. “I promise I’ll actually fix that door ASAP, okay?”
“Sure. I’ve been hearing that for months,” Brinley sighs. “Anyway, enough about me and this monstrosity on my face. What’s going on with you?”
Brinley’s attention shifts to me, but I can’t help but watch Declan as he pulls a chair over and sits at the open end of the booth.
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter right now. I think what we really need to discuss is how you’re going to get Declan and Jaxon back for what they did to your eye.”
You don’t want kids.” Brinley sits down next to me on my couch, handing me a bucket of popcorn. “You’ve never wanted kids.”
“I know, but he didn’t know that. I mean, you and I have talked about it because that’s just something girls talk about, but I never thought about needing to have that conversation with him.”
“Until it came up.”
“Exactly, until it came up.”
It’s been eating me alive since I watched Fletcher with Theo. The more time we spent at their place, the worse I felt.
“But he knows now, right?”
“He does,” I sigh. “But Brin, I saw him with his nephew; there was a love in his eyes I don’t even think he has when he’s looking at me.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you talked to him about this?” She reaches into the bucket of popcorn and throws a handful in her mouth.
“Not really. I just asked him if he wanted kids, and he told me he wants me, which I took as his way of saying that if I don’t want kids, he’s willing to give that up, so we stay together.”
“Then I suggest you sit down and have a real conversation with him.” She reaches out, grabs my arm, and gives it a squeeze. “It’s Fletcher; you can tell him how you’re feeling. Share your concerns. He’ll listen, you know that.”
“I know.” I run my hand through my hair, taking a breath to hold in tears. “But what if… what if this changes things?”
“How do you mean?”
“What do I do if I can see in his eyes that he wants a family. He wants kids. But he’s telling me he doesn’t, so he doesn’t lose me?”
“I don’t know, Tate. I wish I did.”
“Yeah. Thanks for your help. I wanted to talk to all of you about it, but then Declan came to the diner, and obviously, no one knows about me and Fletcher—”
“You mean besides your sister, her fiancé, Fletcher’s family, Jeremy, me, and the girls?”
“Okay, so when you put it like that, a lot of people actually know.”
Brin chuckles. “I know what you mean, though. That wasn’t the time or place for Declan to find out, so sharing your reservations about your relationship wasn’t really something you wanted to do.”
“Exactly.” I rest my head on my knuckle and smile at Brin. “He’s the best person I’ve ever known, Brin. I love him. I don’t want to lose him.”
“You won’t. Regardless of what happens next, you won’t lose him. I can promise you that.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I shake out the idea of possibly losing Fletcher over this whole thing and change the subject completely. “Your eye looks a lot better.”
“A lot of ice. I swear, whenever I have downtime, I have ice on my face.”
“I can’t believe that happened. Only you and Declan would end up in a situation like that.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I don’t recommend it.”
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
“You’re still coming to Home Depot with me tomorrow, right? I’ve got to get a new door before I miss another test because of it.”
“Yeah, I think I’m picking up Ember, and we’ll meet you there.”
“Perfect. I need to get a door that looks just like the one those eggheads broke, and you know how indecisive I can be.”
“Oh, trust me, I know.”
She snatches the popcorn bucket out of my hands, “Just play the damn movie.”