Chapter 20
I woke up in the dark. No, it wasn’t completely dark.
Flames in wrought iron sconces flickered against the stone walls, but the ceiling I was staring up at was almost completely hidden in shadows.
I’d been at work. Those two men—the Basilinna’s bonded—had taken me.
My parents had found out about Riot.
That’s what it all boiled down to. My parents had found out about Riot, and they’d gone straight to the Basilinna.
Despite the fact that my wrists and ankles were bound and there was cold stone at my back, I felt remarkably calm. Maybe it was the effects of the drugs wearing off? I definitely felt weak and woozy, and my mouth was so dry it felt like I’d been chewing on chalk.
As the haziness cleared, I realized I was in the sub basement temple under the Auburn town hall, which was unsurprising.
Disappointing, but unsurprising.
I could have laughed at my own naivety. I’d been so adamant that of course no one would snatch me off the streets.
I’d reassured Riot that wasn’t the way they operated.
I had been convinced of it. So infuriatingly, embarrassingly convinced that even if they didn’t approve of my actions, they were still the good guys.
I’d let go of the idea that the daimons were the villains, but somehow hadn’t accepted that the agathos weren’t the heroes.
Not wanting to make it obvious that I was awake, I glanced down the line of my body to try to figure out if they’d really…
They had. They’d really laid me on the altar.
When the darkness inside me rose up, I didn’t fight it. I didn’t struggle and remind myself of all the ways I had to be good, to be positive, to be content. I just let it fill all the cracks inside me with a righteous, living rage .
Part of me was definitely scared, and another part of me wanted to fight them, to rage at them for thinking they had the right to snatch me away from my job, my life, and shove me into the box they’d designated for me.
Tears tracked silently down my cheeks at the rush of anger, and I resented myself for being a crier more than ever.
I didn’t want anyone to see these tears, to think they were for them .
These tears were for me. For the stupid girl I’d been, thinking I could take on the agathos, my family , and win.
For the girl who thought they’d just let me continue on with my life, even if they didn’t wholly approve.
I thought I’d already said goodbye to my innocence when it came to the agathos, but I hadn’t. Not really. Because the idea had terrified me too much to consider.
Do what scares you.
I had it wrong. I should have walked away. When Riot suggested we run, I should have jumped at the chance.
There was a low murmur of voices nearby that almost made me turn my head, but I forced myself to stay still. To not give them the satisfaction of any response from me. I’d spent my life performing for these people, and it had gotten me tied up on an altar in the basement.
The stone felt cold and unyielding beneath me. My legs dangled off the edge, the platform too short for me to properly lie on. I had only seen this place a handful of times in my life—it was used for rites a couple of times a year and we were only allowed to attend after we’d had our emergence.
Apparently, it was also used for whatever they planned on doing to me.
What were they planning on doing? What could they do? Could I fight it? I’d never heard of a bond being broken before, but Riot and I weren’t bonded. The potential was there, but we hadn’t sealed it, which I’d never regretted more.
My inner monster made it surprisingly easy to stay grounded, despite the uncertainty of my situation and the stupid tears tracking down my cheeks, and I wished I’d given it total control before instead of forcing myself into a box I’d never been meant to fit in.
I knew that the people who’d brought me here were in the wrong.
I’d been told my whole life that nothing was more sacred than a soul bond, and when I’d finally found one, they ripped me away from him like it was their right.
They were wrong, I reminded myself. I was going to prove that to them if it was the last thing I did. Maybe it would be.
“Ah, she’s awake.”
Harmony’s businesslike tone made my skin crawl, but I clenched my jaw shut and stared blankly at the ceiling refusing to give anything away. These people didn’t deserve any more effort at compliance from me.
“Would you prefer to check on her, Faith?” Harmony asked.
“May I?” my mother replied in a reverent tone, and I barely held in a disgusted scoff. She hadn’t even waited 24 hours to report me to the Basilinna. I sunk further into the darkness in my head and gave myself permission to hate the maternal concern she was pretending to show now.
“Grace,” Mother clipped, peering over me. I stared blankly up at her, resenting how similar our features were. Thankfully the tears had stopped, but the evidence of them was definitely on my face and I couldn’t wipe them away with my bound hands. “Are you well?”
Her eyes narrowed in warning, and in the very back of my mind, my snap reaction was to deflect. To smile and insist no one needed to worry about me, like I always had done. To be sweet , like I’d been trained to be.
“As well as can be expected after being sedated and kidnapped from my job,” I replied flatly, getting a rush of savage glee from the way her eyes flared with outrage.
It didn’t quite make up for 25 years of holding my tongue, but it was something.
“Save it,” Mother hissed. “You had the choice to come of your own free will, you chose wrong.”
“Seeing as I was knocked out and brought here anyway, it doesn’t really seem like much of a choice, does it?” I deadpanned, channeling Riot’s cool, unaffected tone. My stomach swooped nervously at being so blunt with her, but I ignored it.
Do what scares you.
“If I may,” Harmony intervened, stepping up next to my mother and laying a hand on her arm. “This is a difficult situation, Faith, and you may be too close to it.”
Mother stepped back with a stiff nod, and I fought not to respond to the glare she shot me, knowing my indifference would enrage her more than anything else.
“Grace,” Harmony said gently. “We don’t mean any harm.
This is a difficult, unusual situation, I understand your concern.
” She had no idea , I thought bitterly, but she must have believed she did to be able to voice the thought out loud.
“But this is for your own benefit. For the entire community’s benefit.
We have prayed to Anesidora for her guidance on this matter. ”
“And what did she say?”
“Excuse me?” Harmony said, looking startled.
“What did Anesidora say?” I repeated slowly.
It was a genuine question. Anesidora never responded to my prayers, I wanted to know what she said when the prayers were about me.
I doubted I was her favorite child—I was convinced I never had been—but especially since I’d prayed to the Goddess of Night. And hadn’t prayed to Anesidora since.
“The signs were very clear that you were in need of our assistance,” Harmony replied uncomfortably. “We thought outreach was the right path for you, but your parents told us you met the daimon last Sunday, we believe that is a clear sign from the goddess.”
“A sign for what ?” I asked, baffled. To move the outreach trip forward? The more she spoke, the more discomfited I became. I struggled discreetly against the rope, knowing there was no point.
“We believe Anesidora is sending a message by introducing you to the daimon the same day Joy died.”
Joy? What did Joy have to do with any of this?
“The timing is too coincidental. This is Anesidora’s blessing to you. To them.”
“What blessing?” I sputtered. “Who is ‘ them’ ? What are you talking about?”
“You are to take Joy’s place among her bonded. She may be gone, but there is no reason for her soul bonds and children to suffer needlessly. Anesidora has given you all this gift.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
How could they…no. Just…that wasn’t how anything worked.
Soul bonds weren’t replaceable. They couldn’t just wish me into Joy’s old life.
Even if it worked, which I was pretty sure it wouldn’t, had anyone considered how that would make Joy’s bonded feel?
Her children? I’d seen their grief firsthand, heard her consort’s misery when he spoke.
How could anyone think Anesidora would want this?
How could anyone support that kind of cruelty if she did?
“You are here for katharmos ,” Harmony continued, looking as though she was bracing herself before undertaking a particularly unpleasant task.
Of course. They thought I was tainted with miasma by associating with Riot. That I was polluted, and needed to be cleansed before repenting my sacrilegious behavior.
Fear temporarily stole the breath from my lungs, not because I was worried for my safety, but because I was worried their ritual would work .
Not the part where they tried to force me into Joy’s old life—even with the Basilinna herself doing the cleansing, that was absurd—but what if they could break my connection with Riot?
Riot had come into my life when I’d asked the Goddess of Night for her guidance. What if this ritual gave Anesidora the power to take him away?
We weren’t even fully bonded yet. We should have bonded. Why hadn’t we bonded?!
I attempted to gasp down a lungful of oxygen like I’d been held underwater at just the thought of losing him, and sucked down the scent of the pungent burning bay leaves instead.
“Stop this,” I pleaded, my courage faltering as she approached the altar, hoping to see the smallest glint of mercy in her eyes and finding none. “I’m not hurting anyone. We’re not hurting anyone. This plan—you must know it’s insane. I can’t take Joy’s place.”