Chapter Fifteen
The river is something special in the morning light.
How the sun’s rays shine through the boughs of hemlock, cedar, and fir.
Nash is hanging at the table on the back deck with a cup of coffee in hand.
Another sits waiting for me beside him. The man takes his caffeine duties seriously.
Ordinary life was never this beautiful before.
And being here with him is like living in a dream.
“What do you think of llamas?” he asks as I take a seat.
“I don’t think of them very often. Why are you asking?”
“Just thought it might be nice to have a pet.”
“Aren’t they large?” I take a sip of coffee. “And don’t they spit?”
“Surely not without good reason.”
“Maybe a cat or a dog would be better. Give us a chance to prove ourselves as parents with something smaller and more domesticated.”
“You’re probably right.” He picks up an envelope on the table and hands it to me. “This is for you.”
Whatever it is isn’t large enough to be the sixty-something-page cohabitation agreement. I put down my coffee and open it to find a black credit card inside. One with my name printed on the front.
“This is what’s normal for me,” he says, nodding to the thing. “It’s how I provide you with funds like we talked about last night.”
“We didn’t really discuss this part of it. You mentioned it and I felt weird about it, so…”
He downs some more coffee, watching me carefully over the rim of the cup. But he says nothing.
“I haven’t had an allowance since I was sixteen.”
“Your mom cut you off when you were sixteen?” he asks with a frown.
“Yeah,” I say, inspecting the card. “That’s when I got my first job. It was at a local garden center helping to care for the plants.”
“You and Audrey don’t tend to talk about her much.”
My smile is a small and sedate thing. “We get on fine. But it takes more than DNA to make a family.”
“That is the truth. You’ve seen for yourself what a pain in the ass my brother can be.
And Charlie and Audrey mean as much to me as any flesh and blood.
” He turns to stare at the river. “This was my mom’s favorite time of the day.
She would’ve loved it here. We were in a house with a yard when she could afford it.
But even when we lived in apartments, they were always close to a park or something. ”
“And every weekend she’d drag our asses on hikes in the woods,” says Angus, appearing at the kitchen door. “How many times did you touch poison ivy because you just had to know what would happen?”
“Only once or twice.”
“I remember it being more.”
Nash sniffs. “Artists need to experience the world in their own unique ways. It’s not something you’d understand.”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. I heard what you said about me being a pain in the ass too.”
“How did you even get in here?” asks Nash. “Why are you in my house?”
“Charlie told me the security code.” He takes a seat at the table opposite us. “Morning, June.”
I give him a smile. “Morning.”
“Are you going to make me a coffee?” Angus asks his brother.
Nash’s dark brows draw down. “I am not. Junebug and I are having our sacred start of the day alone time. Go away. You’re not invited.”
“Been thinking about what you said yesterday,” says Angus regardless. “About you being burned out on stadiums. How you feel disconnected from your audience.”
“I guess you can stay for a minute if we’re going to talk about me.”
With his ankle resting on his knee, Angus makes himself comfortable. “The new songs are good. What if we did a limited tour and took them to smaller, more intimate settings? Say, venues with a capacity of a few thousand or so.”
“Since when did you want to work with me again?”
Angus shrugs. “It’s been a while. There’s a small chance I missed you.”
“By small chance do you mean big chance?”
“No,” says Angus. “It’s small. Miniscule some might say.”
Nash smiles. “What about your band?”
“We’re on hiatus.”
And he pauses to think it over. There’s a gleam in his eye though.
He likes the idea. Which is nothing for me to panic over.
He might have said he was sick of the industry and intimated that he wanted to retire.
Odds were always good regarding him doing something more with music eventually.
As Grandma has mentioned a time or two, it’s a big part of who he is.
Though the thought of him hitting the road again so soon is a shock. We need to talk about where it would leave us as a couple. Just as soon as I mentally rehearse a speech or two and find some courage. Talking honestly about legal status last night used up my available spine.
“He gave you that, huh?” Angus nods to my shiny new black credit card. Something about the way he says it sets me on edge. His tone is way off. And I don’t love the choice of words. It is, however, none of Angus’s business who his brother trusts with his wealth.
Time for me to smile pleasantly and take a sip of coffee and keep my mouth shut.
“I didn’t realize you two were so serious,” he says.
Nash gives him a smile/frown combo. Like he isn’t sure how to react. “She’s living with me.”
“Yeah, but Audrey’s right next door and it’s not as if her house is that big. Wasn’t sure if it was just convenient or what. Left over from you two faking a relationship to keep you anonymous in town or something.”
“No. She’s my high priestess of happiness,” says Nash, as if this explains everything.
“Brother, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve dated a lot of people.” Angus laughs quietly. “Remember the pole dancer who moved in after meeting you the night before?”
“Her name was Avery. She had ballet training and was studying to be a paleontologist. It was a real meeting of the minds,” says Nash. “What’s your point?”
“How long did it last?”
“Oh, a solid two or three weeks. She didn’t have much free time in her schedule, and I was playing festivals over the summer. But we had fun while it lasted and that’s what matters.”
“What about Gabriela, your former marketing manager?”
“We spent a nice four months together,” my boyfriend answers. “Farmer was pissed at me cause she left the company when we broke up. Like it’s my fault he wasn’t paying her what she was worth.”
“The lead singer of The Regrets?”
“Harper and I spent a wonderful seven weeks together at my place in Nashville. It’s a lie that she named her band after me.”
“How about the pro bike rider?” asks Angus. “What was her name…Brooke?”
“Just because we didn’t last long doesn’t mean it wasn’t sort of significant. And her name was Briony.”
“There wasn’t even time for the ink to dry on the cohabitation agreement.”
And yeah. I’ve heard more than enough. “You invited all of these people to live with you?”
“It just seemed easier that way, you know?” He shrugs.
“A fast way to get to know someone without having to go out in public and get hassled by the media and so on. Though I would remind you, my brother’s information on me is four years out of date.
And it’s been at least that long since I’ve asked anyone to move in with me. ”
“Doesn’t mean you don’t still hate being alone,” says Angus. “There’s a whole history of you doing this for the wrong reasons and it not lasting more than a couple of days.”
Nash’s sigh is as heavy as can be. “This is going to shock the shit out of you, but people grow and change. The situation back then with Lady Caroline made me see things differently. Made me want more. It’s a big part of why I came here…
not just to stop the burnout, but to figure out how to live my life differently. And June is an important part of that.”
His brother does not appear convinced.
“I don’t want to start shit with you.” Nash’s jawline is set. “But you need to fuck off and be somewhere else for a while. Otherwise, we’re going to start beating on each other again and I doubt your nose can handle it so soon.”
Angus’s answering gaze is hard as can be. “If she means something to you, then there’s no need to rush. That’s all I’m saying.”
“It makes sense you want to protect him,” I say.
Because someone needs to be the voice of reason here.
The threat of violence is definitely in the air.
“I don’t want to be in the middle of this.
But by having this conversation in front of me, you’ve put me there.
Your brother is an adult, more than capable of making his own choices. ”
Angus nods to the credit card. “Did you ask him for it?”
“I did not.”
The relief on his face is palpable as he gets to his feet. And no one says a word as he leaves.
I pick up the black card with my name on it and stare at it a while. The idea of owning one of these never occurred to me. And it is a big step forward. His brother wasn’t wrong about that. But then, everything to do with this relationship feels like a trust fall of sorts.
“Things are changing fast for us,” he says. “I need to know you’re safe and can access anything you need. That’s what this is.”
“Right.”
“Along with it being plain fun because buying shit just can be sometimes.”
I smile. “Okay then. I didn’t ask for it…doesn’t mean I’m not going to use it.”
And Nash grins. “That’s my girl.”
Sound techs and other assorted people started arriving at the house earlier to install the recording studio on the bottom floor.
They’re fitting the rooms with sound-absorbent paneling and changing out the glass to something that performs a similar job.
With so many people coming and going, I was able to slip past the paparazzo in his car across the street, and head to the grocery store.
And the baseball cap and loose button-up shirt over the top of my tank helped to hide my identity.