Pierce
“Who are you?”
Those three words are the most terrifying I’ve ever heard. They run through my mind on repeat as doctors stitch me up and force me into a hospital bed. As police take my statement. As I fight with the nurses to let me go see her.
Who am I? I’m lots of things, but currently nothing to her. The worst part is I'm nothing without her.
I’ve been forgotten before, but nothing hurts as much as this time. I love this woman, like I’ve never loved anyone before. I didn’t know how to love before she came into my life. She showed me how to open my heart, and now it’s hers.
She doesn’t even know my name.
A knife stabs into my heart. If I remove it, I’ll bleed out. So instead, I’ll learn to live with it, never letting me forget the pain.
I pinch the drive between my thumb and forefinger—a physical reminder of my promise to Thea to protect her. I forgot about it until a nurse brought me a bag with my belongings twenty minutes ago. All this time spent looking for this drive, and now I couldn’t care less.
I stare at the photo of us on my phone. I'm in the middle of eating my hamburger, but Thea's cheesy grin into the camera is a light in my dark tunnel. She is the most resilient woman I have ever met. The screen begins to dim, and I tap it, unable to let any part of her go.
“Pierce?”
My attention shoots to the doorway and the tiny, gray-haired woman standing there. “Grandma?” The pain, the fear, all of it cracks the second I see the motherly face I’ve missed so much.
Grandma rushes into the room, with Grandpa hanging back a bit. Repairing our relationship may take some time, but I want to try. Grandma squeezes me in a hug, then pinches my face as if checking I’m real.
“Oh, Pierce,” Grandma says, her breath hitching. “You’re really here. And you’re safe.”
I wouldn’t be without my grandfather’s help. “What happened in the end?” I ask him. It’s all a blur. Did they arrest everyone? Cole, Cooper, Gavin…?
Grandpa settles onto a chair before starting in.
“They got everyone outside and Cole out of the bathroom right before the bomb went off. He claims he's innocent, but the police took him in for questioning. I’ll make some calls; his connections can’t save him now.
Gavin Johnson and two ex-cons are all in custody.
Andi Hanover has been taken in for questioning as well, though she played the victim card.
Cole was eager to turn on her, and I think she’ll turn on him when given the chance. ”
“And Cooper?”
“That kid was ready to make a deal before they even got handcuffs on him.”
That doesn’t surprise me.
There’s only one person left.
“Thea?” I swallow the sudden lump in my throat.
Grandpa frowns. “I’m not family. They won’t tell me anything.”
“Did you try the badge?”
His lips twitch. “They wouldn’t budge. I swear the CIA should recruit these nurses to protect government secrets. They might do a better job. But…” He glances toward the door before leaning closer. “I did some surveillance, and from what I can tell, she’s okay.”
I pinch my eyes closed, imagining Thea's lifeless body as I ran away from the cabin with her. “I didn’t keep her safe.”
“You did everything you were supposed to,” Grandpa says. In the past he would have yelled, thinking it would help me do better next time. I guess he’s grown, too. “It’s my fault. I knew it wasn’t safe. I should have sent some of my guys to help in Mexico.”
“About Mexico…”
He holds up a hand. “I had my IT guy hack into the hotel security. I leaked footage to the local police of Cole leaving the room. Time of death will find him guilty. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks.” It’s hard not to stare at him in disbelief. This warm, supportive man is a far cry from the one I grew up with. He must see my surprise because he ducks his chin, almost in shame. “I owe you an apology for how things ended back th—”
I hold up a hand, not wanting to rehash a sore subject.
“No, I need to say this. I’ve been practicing this for years, waiting for the right time.” He takes a deep breath like he’s about to make a speech. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear it.
“I’ve always been better at being a boss than a father figure. Your dad had the same complaints,” he says, looking at his hand instead of at me.
That’s the first time I’ve heard this about my dad, and I’m shocked into silence.
“When he died, I blamed myself. I was his trainer and his father. If only I had taught him better…”
Grandma places a hand on his, and he takes her dainty one between both of his giant ones.
“I pushed you, determined not to make the same mistake. It didn’t matter if you hated me, as long as you were strong.
” He drags a hand down his face. “I’ve since been told that’s terrible parenting.
” He chuckles awkwardly. “When the agency started talking about the mess between you and Dutton, a part of me feared I’d failed.
Again. Another part of me just wanted you out so you could be safe. So I nudged you in that direction.”
That’s why he ignored me when I asked for help. Why he encouraged me to resign. It would be “better for everyone.” He was scared. I search his face, trying to understand.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I’ve been going to therapy. That’s actually how Thea found me. I dropped one of my business cards in the hall after a session with my therapist. The next day she contacted me.”
I’m momentarily stuck on the fact that the man I was scared of for half my life, the one CIA agents feared, is in therapy. But then… there’s Thea.
“That’s…” I can’t finish. Somehow, some way, I was meant to find Thea. Hopefully she can find her way to me.
“I’m sorry I left instead of facing my problems,” I say.
“You always loved playing hide and seek,” Grandma says, a mischievous smile teasing her lips. “But I was always the best finder.”
“How did you find me?” I try to recall when the emails started coming. At least three years ago. I came back to California; did they talk to Noah?
She scoffs. “A good seeker never gives away her secrets.”
I give her a soft smile, wondering if she tortured Noah with baked goods to give me up. The man caves quicker than a puppy for a snickerdoodle. I’ll have to talk to him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You better not.”
“You sent me so many cases,” I say to Grandpa.
“I wanted you to be successful. I also wanted to make sure I knew where you were. Also… Grandma made me.” He finishes with a smile, throwing my wonderful grandmother under the bus.
“I did, and I stand by it,” she says, standing to her full five-foot-four inches. “We had to make sure you were okay.” Her eyes glisten as she leans forward, enveloping me in a hug and the sweet scent of love and cookies.
I swallow, incapable of expressing my gratitude at the moment. They never fully gave up on me, even when I told them to.
I hold out the drive to my grandpa. “Think you can get this to the right buyer?”
He pockets the drive. “Boris Ivanov is already enroute. We’ll meet with Darren to ensure selling is still the best option. If not, I’ll recommend destroying it.”
That’s a good idea. This drug should not fall into the wrong hands. There’s still one more thing I wonder about.
“How was Thea going to pay me?” I ask Grandpa. “She needs all the money for her father.”
He grins. “I know. I also knew you’d do it for far cheaper than you should.”
My brows furrow, thinking through the math. “She offered three-quarters of a million, which means…”
“Her father's Russian friend owns the largest biotech company in Russia… and is a very successful and wealthy doctor. He was going to pay twenty-one million.”
I blink. With that kind of money, Darren’s retirement would look like a pittance. I’m so happy for her. She’s going to get everything she deserves.
“I need to see Thea.”
“Let me do some recon.” He taps his nose and stands, leaving the room. Until this moment, I never knew he was capable of being ridiculous. But he’s older now, not the severe leader who used to govern my life choices.
“Did he just tap his nose?” I ask Grandma.
“He’s been doing improv theater. No one believes he used to be an actual spy.” She chuckles.
“Improv?” I look for signs she’s lying. There are none. How are these the same people who used to abhor all forms of fun?
“He’s a different man, Pierce.” She squeezes my hand, and I squeeze her back, gently. I’m terrified I’ll break her.
“Pierce?” A voice at the door snags my attention.
“Megan?” I sit up straighter, unfazed by the pain in my leg. Did she come with news? Good news or bad? “How is she? Does she re–?” I cut myself off, unable to ask and get my hopes up.
“She’s doing good.” Thea’s aunt smiles.
My whole body sags with relief. “How do I see her?”
Megan bites her bottom lip. “I don’t know. They are being quite strict.”
“I found a weak link,” Grandpa announces, walking back in. “The head nurse is supposed to be checking on her soon, but she just stepped out to have an argument with her future mother-in-law about wedding flowers. It’s go time. We’ll distract the rest of the staff.”
I jump out of bed. My leg is blessedly numb from all the painkillers, so even though it slows me down, I don’t stop. I know exactly which room Thea is staying in, and I’ve mentally practiced how to get there without getting caught.
I hesitate at the door. What if she doesn’t want to see me? Can I handle walking away? That was my plan when this was all over, but now?
How can I?
If it’s too much for her, if I’m too much for her, I will. I’ll protect her, even from me. But if there’s even the smallest chance, I will do anything to make sure she remembers me.
I tap lightly on the door before opening it.
Thea is sitting up in bed, her dad positioned near her side in a chair. He sees me first.
“Pierce, my boy. How are you?”
“I’m good.” Pending this conversation, which has the potential to utterly destroy me.
Thea swivels slowly to face me. Her eyes meet mine, and her lips part, a soft gasp escapes.
“Pierce?” she says, as if saying my name for the first time. My stomach twists, and I try not to let it show.
I nod and shuffle closer. “How are you feeling?”
“Oh, um…” Her head drops before she looks back up at me. “Still a little dazed. They gave me some stuff to hopefully reverse the symptoms, but Dad is still worried.”
“Gavin was a terrible chemist. I’ll be monitoring her closely.
She hasn’t had nearly as much as I have apparently.
” His expression hardens momentarily, “but I’ll figure out how to get her memories back.
And mine,” Darren says. Now that he knows not all of his memory issues are a result of the strokes, I hope he is able to get some of his life back.
“You will, Daddy.” Thea smiles softly at him, then looks hesitantly at me again. “They said you saved me.”
I swallow, my throat thick. “I tried.”
Her studious, psychologist eyes take me in, trying to read me. “You like to save people, don’t you?”
It’s that simple little question that brings me back to the first day we met.
“Just you, apparently.” I chuckle.
She smiles, a shy kind of smile and it gives me hope that she’ll remember.
I take a seat beside her bed.
“Thank you.” She swallows. “For… whatever you did.”
“You told me it was romantic for a man to save a woman. But you didn’t even remember.” I bite the inside of my cheek, fighting the smile.
Her lips part. “I’m so sorry I—”
I grin, stopping her worries. “I guess I’ll have to try harder to impress you.”
Color fills her cheeks, and it’s the most adorable, most innocent expression I’ve ever seen.
I love her.
And I’m not leaving until she knows it. Until she knows why.