Chapter Nine
Carmen
“Break a leg!” I called to Sofia as she made her way to the train platform.
She turned back, giving me two thumbs up and a big but wobbly smile.
She really wanted this gig.
I hadn’t seen her so nervous in a long time.
I wanted it for her too. Even if the filming meant she would most likely need to move to California, and I was not thrilled at the idea of living on my own.
I left the train station to do a job before heading back home to an empty house.
Or so I thought.
But Hamster didn’t run to me like she usually did to go pee.
And the place smelled like fresh coffee.
“Sof?” I called, tone tentative, because if she was back already, it was not good news.
“Nope,” a different voice entirely called back. Male. Newly familiar.
My stomach flipped.
“Try again,” Rune said as he moved into the doorway to the kitchen, leaning against the jamb as he raised a cup that declared Misogynist Tears to his lips and took a sip. “I took the dog out and then walked her around town to blow off some energy.”
“What?”
“She tried to eat a street hot dog. So I bought her a burger too. She took herself upstairs afterward to, I imagine, sleep. So I made myself a pot of coffee while I waited for you.”
“How did you get in?”
“Think you girls put a little too much faith in your door locks. I got in in under two minutes. In a neighborhood like this, you might want to invest in some extra deterrents.”
“That’s what Hamster was supposed to be for.”
“Unfortunately, Hamster remembers a face. Stopped barking the second she saw it was me. Besides, I can’t see her actually biting anyone.”
He wasn’t wrong.
She was all bark. We had a repairman come over once, and she barked viciously while backing through the house to hide next to the washing machine.
“I could call the police. You broke into my house.”
“You could. I did. But you’re not going to.”
He was right about that.
Because as inconvenient as his little drop-ins were, and as much as my mind and body were at odds about his presence, he’d been harmless so far.
If he wanted to hurt me, I figured he would have already. There was no reason to complicate things more than they already were by bringing the police into it.
“Why are you here again?” I asked, sounding about as tired as I felt.
I hadn’t slept in days. I would pass out, then jerk awake flooded with adrenaline, my mind whipping up fears and anxiety until I was too nauseated and dizzy to fall back to sleep.
“Because we’re not done.”
“Trust me, we are,” I said, storming past him to make my way to the coffee machine.
What I really needed was a drink to deal with him again. But I got chatty when I drank. And I didn’t want to say something stupid. So coffee was going to have to cut it.
I could feel the impact as Rune turned, his gaze falling on me, watching me as I picked a mug, then added some cream and sugar to my cup before pouring the coffee.
Only after I had my first sip (which was perfect, damn him), did I glance up to find him watching me.
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“That’s not really my policy when someone tries to murder me, baby.”
“I’m not going to try again.”
“I know.”
“And yet you’re here again.”
“Because I can’t put this to bed until I have answers. Give ‘em to me and I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“Why are you being so fucking stubborn?” he asked, but without any heat. He was more exasperated than angry. “You’re clearly pissed at me about something. Tell me what.”
“So you can, what? Apologize? I don’t want your apologies. There’s nothing you could do to make this better. You ruined… everything.”
My voice caught, betraying me, making me turn my back on him as stupid tears flooded my eyes.
I didn’t know he moved until his next words were asked from right behind me, his tone soft, coaxing. “Carmen, what did I ruin?”
He was too close.
He was sucking up all the air.
I couldn’t breathe.
The mug slammed down with a crack on the counter just before I turned and ran toward my room.
I wouldn’t do it.
Break in front of him.
I didn’t even let my sister see me falling apart. I damn sure wasn’t going to let the man who was responsible for all the tears witness them.
I heard the old steps creaking under his weight as he followed me upstairs, could feel my heartbeat syncing with his footsteps as they drew closer and closer to my door.
But he paused there as I finally lost the battle with my grief, dragging an animalistic cry from somewhere deep inside as I dropped down on the edge of my bed.
I cried hard enough that I started to scare myself—loud, hiccuping sobs that left me gasping for air.
I was vaguely aware of voices outside the door. Rune and, I imagined, Sofia, as I blew my nose.
“No, I can’t.”
“Trust me,” Sofia said. “She pretends she doesn’t, but she needs someone. Be that someone. She won’t let me. Go!”
Pressured into it, the door opened, then closed softly.
“I don’t want you in here.”
“I don’t think your sister would let me leave.”
“I don’t care. Go.” I wiped at my cheeks as another wave of tears slid down. I leaned forward, burying my face in my hands.
“Oh, baby,” Rune sighed.
The bed depressed next to me, and Rune’s arm slid around me, curling me against him even as I tried to pull away.
It was a half-hearted effort, though. Because, God, it felt good to be held.
For a moment, I just let myself forget that he was the reason I was crying in the first place and just let myself be comforted.
Rune’s one arm stayed around my waist. The other rubbed up and down my arm and over my hair.
But then, suddenly, Rune stiffened beside me.
“Carmen?”
There was something strange in his voice. Tight. Tense.
“Carmen, who the fuck is that?”
“What?” I asked, startled by the change in him.
“In the picture with you,” he said.
Suddenly, he wasn’t the only one whose spine was straight enough to snap.
Because I’d let myself forget. Sure, only for a few moments, and only because I was so upset. But still. I’d forgotten that the man beside me on the bed was the whole reason for all the pain and suffering and loss in the first place.
I shot to my feet, moving across the room to stand against the dresser where the picture sat.
“Seriously?” I asked, eyes suddenly sandpaper dry as my voice went brittle enough to crack. “You don’t remember the woman you murdered?”
Rune’s gaze snapped up to me from the picture.
“So, that’s what this has been all about.”
“‘That’s what this is all about’? Seriously? That’s all you have to say when you killed her?”
The look on his face was unreadable.
“What was her name?” he asked.
I swallowed hard. Past the grief. Past the fist of fury lodged in my throat. Because if you were going to do something that horrible to someone, the least you could do was know their name.
“Victoria. Vicky.”
“Sister?” he asked.
“No.”
“Girlfriend?”
“No.”
“Friend then.”
“My best friend.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So you admit it. You killed her. You took her from me.”
“I didn’t sa—”
I didn’t get to finish when there was a sudden pop-pop-pop sound somewhere down below.
“What—” I started.
Rune flew off the bed, grabbing me and dragging me down to the floor, then moving his body over mine, pinning me to the ground.
It wasn’t until his weight crushed down on me, his arms moving up to cage around my head, his face pressed close to mine, that I finally realized what the sound was.
Gunshots.
Someone was shooting at the house.
My senses sharpened.
Suddenly, I could hear the glass shattering, the squeal of tires.
I was all sensation then: my pulse thundering in my ear like war drums; my lungs forgot their purpose, tightening, burning; a cold fist of fear slithered around my chest and squeezed.
That was why, surely, a soft whimper escaped me as my face buried in Rune’s neck and my hands lifted, clutching at his t-shirt at the sides of his body.
Time warped, slowed.
Each second felt like days, like a lifetime.
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” Rune said, his voice disarmingly calm.
What about that situation was okay?
How could he be so collected?
What if masked men were about to charge through the house, grab me, and drag me out?
Or, worse yet…
“Sofia,” I yelped.
I was pushing at him then, trying to move him off of me, to get out from under the weight of him, to get to my sister.
“Okay. All right. I’ll go,” Rune said, his chin ducking and his gaze finding mine, holding. “Promise you’ll stay here.” A strange, strangled sound escaped me. “Promise or I’m staying right here.”
“Okay. I promise.”
That was all he needed.
He crawled away from me, and I rolled onto my stomach to watch him go.
My heart lurched as he flew to his feet, some part of me panicking about the target he was making himself. Even if, logically, that made no sense. Just a couple days ago, I wanted him to be my target.
He threw open my door, then was gone into the hallway.
I might have promised, but I had no intention of keeping that. But I wasn’t brave enough to get to my knees, let alone my feet. I army-crawled forward across the floor.
Just as I reached the door, it flew open, making my heart shoot up into my mouth.
“Down,” Rune demanded, pressing Sofia’s shoulder until she lowered down onto the ground, her breath coming out in short, frantic bursts as Hamster rushed into the room as well, tail tucked, dropping down next to my sister.
The popping sounds downstairs had suddenly stopped, and all I heard was the squeal of tires as someone pulled off.
“Listen to me,” Rune said, his voice suddenly serious as I moved over to my sister who was crying quietly, her face pressed against our dog’s giant head. “Stay in here and stay down. Lock the door. And don’t open it for anyone but me. Here.”
He reached under his pant leg, producing a gun.
Not just any gun.
My gun.
“Just in case. If anyone who isn’t me tries to get through that door, empty the fucking magazine.”
Sofia whimpered harder, curling into Hamster.
“But you…”
He pulled up his other pant leg, producing a smaller gun, giving me a nod, then walking to the door. “Lock it,” he reminded me.
Then he was gone.
A strange sound escaped me as I crawled over to the door, locking it, then scooting backward to sit between the door and my sister. I slid my hand around the gun’s handle and pressed my finger to the outside of the trigger, not wanting to squeeze it by accident.
“What’s going on?” Sofia cried.
“I have no idea.”
I mean, we didn’t live in the best of areas. We did occasionally hear gunshots at night. And I vaguely remembered a story about a drive-by shooting a year ago. But that was gang-related stuff. As far as I knew, there was no gang activity on our street. But, I guess, you never really knew.
“Why does Rune have two guns?”
“This one is mine,” I told her. “He was… holding it for me.”
She hadn’t been a fan of the idea of my going through the process of getting a gun permit. But when a woman just two streets away had her place broken into and was assaulted, she’d relented that it might be a good idea for us.
Obviously, I didn’t tell her the real reason I got the thing, or why Rune was holding it for me.
“They were shooting up our house,” Sof said, voice hollow. Maybe she was in shock.
“How’d the audition go?” I asked, trying to distract her.
“The audition,” I reminded her. “How did that go?”
“I… I got it.” She still sounded shocked about that fact herself.
This was a hell of a way to celebrate.
“That’s so amazing. I’m so happy for you.”
“I was going to invite you out to dinner,” she admitted, and her voice was sounding less shaky. “Then, well..”
“We’re going to celebrate. Maybe not right this second, but soon. This is the best news.”
“Is it, though?”
“Of course it is. Why would you question it?”
“I’d have to move.”
“So? You’ve always wanted to go to California. That was always your dream.”
“But—”
“Don’t you dare say you feel bad leaving me. We both know I want this for you more than you want this for yourself.”
“We’ve never lived apart.”
“No. But maybe this is a sign from the universe that this is the time.”
There were footsteps on the stairs, making both of us jump. The gun slipped out of my sweaty hands and dropped to the ground by my legs.
I frantically wiped my palms on my clothes before reaching for it again.
“It’s me,” Rune called through the door. “They’re gone. You can open up.”
I scrambled to the door, unlocking it, then sliding backward.
“Oh, God,” Sofia gasped. “Chip!”
“Chip’s fine,” Rune said, holding up a hand at Sofia. “Saw him on the porch.”
“I should go check on him,” Sofia said, rising on shaky legs toward the door.
“Wait, sweetie,” Rune said, grabbing her shoulder. “Get shoes first. And leave the dog up here. There’s glass everywhere.”
“Okay,” Sofia agreed, giving Rune a shaky smile, then moving across the hall to grab her shoes.
It wasn’t until we heard her careful footsteps heading downstairs that Rune turned and made a beeline for my closet.
“What are you doing?”
“Hiding my gun,” he admitted as he shoved my sweaters around on the shelf. He reached down, removing each of the holsters and setting them inside as well.
“Why?”
“If Chip didn’t do it himself, I’m sure one of the neighbors already called the cops. They’re gonna be here any minute.”
“What… what am I supposed to tell them?”
“Exactly what happened. You were upstairs when the shots rang out. You saw nothing.”
“Are you leaving?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because your neighbor saw me. It’d be suspicious if I left. And you and me, we have some unfinished business.”
“No, we—”
“I didn’t shoot your best friend, Carmen,” he cut me off. I was looking closely, but I didn’t see a hint of a lie. “But I was there. I saw it happen. I saw who did it.”