Chapter 26 Cracks Form
CRACKS FORM
Early the next morning, there is a knock on my door.
When I call out to let them know they are welcome, Lent and Fem let themselves in.
Lent brings my books in their linen bag and his own breakfast. Fem brings food for me.
Fem reminds me to apply the salve to my injuries and then leaves, but Lent sits down, cross-legged on my bed, and begins to shovel food into his mouth.
Instead of asking how I’m doing, Lent begins talking about what he’s been researching, and we fall into an easy, companionable discussion about books.
After he’s finished eating, I ask if he has any experience repairing books.
When he says he does, I pull mine out of their bag and show him the damage.
“Oof,” he winces, “that’s pretty bad. Good thing you’re looking at the wizard of book repair!” He speaks grandly, which is quickly ruined by getting hit by the pillow I throw at him and nearly falling off the bed as he tries to avoid it.
Once the giggles recede, he leaves to get his repair kit, and I pull a different book off the stack, looking for something I was just reminded of as Lent spoke about what he was reading. I find the passage as Lent comes back into the room.
As he sets up his repair kit on top of my dresser, I call out to him to get his attention. “Hey, something you were talking about reading in one of your books reminded me of a passage I read, and I just found it.”
He moves to the side of the bed, standing close to me so our heads are both leaning companionably over the book. I point out the passage to him, and he reads it out loud.
As is known, rain always falls down and not up.
This action shows the cleaning and renewal of darkness, but not in the traditional sense.
Because darkness and shadow brings the rain it instead enforces balance.
Light and the sun on one side, shadows and rain on the other.
In Nuton’s research of magical effects, he has found that when looking for change, a good rain is nearly always the best approach.
Runes connected to this particular magical phenomenon are Ehwaz and Laguz. If combined, these will bring not only renewal to the rain but also help to usher in the change you are seeking.
Excitement is clear on Lent’s face as he gets through the passage. “Nice find, shorty,” he says, punching me lightly on the shoulder. “Mind if I borrow this book for a bit? I’ll return it, of course.”
I nod, the smile spreading across my face is a lovely feeling, a beautiful contrast to the emotions of the day before.
I give him the book and he tucks it carefully into a back pocket before returning to his task of mending my books. When he gives them back to me, I have to look carefully to see the prior damage. I can’t help but pull him into a hug, thankful to have my precious books back in good repair.
The rest of that day and the next pass in a similar fashion.
Fem stops by more often than is needed or expected, but it’s nice to have him checking on me.
I closely follow his orders, applying the salve and resting.
Slowly, my body heals and begins to feel stronger, and the pain continues to recede.
Lent spends a considerable amount of time in my room as we compare notes on books or read in companionable silence.
I finish reading the history book and continue to fill in gaps in my knowledge of this place.
Lent reads books on weather magic and shares small bits and pieces on different weather effects, such as rain, that the boys are trying to recreate during their magic practice.
He asks me to keep this a secret, and I happily oblige.
Honestly, it’s not as though I have anyone else I could share this information with, even if I wanted to.
On the morning of the third day, Fem shows up at my room alone and checks my injuries. I barely dare to breathe as he gnaws on his lip while examining my abdomen and the remaining bruising on my hand.
After it feels like too much time has passed, he declares them “healed enough,” but warns that I need to take things easy for at least the next several days. “Continue to use the salve as you need to for the pain,” he says.
I quickly climb out of my bed as though if I wait too long, he might change his mind. Pulling on black layers of clothing without really looking, I stack my books neatly on the table beside my bed and then head to the door of my room.
As I put my hand on the knob, though, I hesitate.
The realization that outside of this safe space, there will be more interactions with Dio crashes over me.
I close my eyes and rest my forehead against the door for a moment as I compose myself.
The image of him trapping me against the wall at the concert plays on repeat behind my eyelids. The emotions knot in my chest.
Eventually, though, I can delay no longer and open the door. I refuse to give in to the intimidation of a prick like him, I decide as I try to confidently walk to the dining room for breakfast.
The full group is sitting at the table when I arrive, and my stomach churns.
Thankfully, Lent grins at me as I walk in and says, “There she is.”
I can’t help but smile back as I fill my plate at the sideboard and then settle into the chair next to him. As I begin eating, I notice that Dio’s glare doesn’t seem to have the same hold on me as it did before. Instead of glass, it feels like sand kicked up in the wind and is easier to ignore.
As I’m beginning to relax, Lent turns to me and says, almost conspiratorially, “You know, I was thinking, you seem to have a talent for finding books that could be helpful to our work. How would you feel about an excursion to the bookshop?”
Before I can help myself, I gasp back, “Yes!”
Dio grumbles from the other side of the table, but I ignore it.
“Which shop?” I ask as I think of the crabby little old man and all the piles of books.
“How about we start with the one that’s close but extend our errands and go further afield if we don’t find anything interesting?” Lent asks.
I could kiss him. Instead, I settle for leaning across the space between us and throwing an arm around his neck in a warm, one-armed hug.
He stops shoveling food into his mouth for a minute, his cheeks pink. “If you respond like this to an invitation to run errands at the bookstore, I’m going to offer to bring you with me on research trips more often,” he says, happiness clear in his voice.
I can’t wipe the grin off my face. At least, that is, not until we finish eating and are readying ourselves to go.
I realize Dio is walking toward me and Lent, and my stomach knots again.
I grimace and turn away as I fasten my boots.
However, even his presence can’t destroy the joy I’m feeling at the prospect of a book-related mission.
However, the joy does crack when I hear him say to Lent, “I think I’ll come with you.”
Even Lent seems surprised, pausing in lacing his boots and peering at Dio.
I can’t bring myself to look at him, but I watch Lent, who glances over at me hesitantly.
I realize belatedly that he’s waiting for something from me, and despite myself, I say, “It’s a free world, not like we can stop you,” while carefully concentrating on my boots.
My shoulders tighten as Dio grinds out simply, “Right.”
An awkward silence descends over the room, the simple joy from before gone.
The joy reemerges, though, as we leave the mansion and walk down the side of the street. Lent and I walk shoulder to shoulder, and Dio trails behind. I can feel his gaze against the back of my neck, but it’s easier to ignore him when I can’t see him, so my mood immediately improves.
As we walk, I ask Lent what we’re looking for.
“Hmm,” he says and looks around the street before leaning towards me and conspiratorially saying, “I’m hoping maybe your luck will help because it’s pretty broad.
Anything weather magic related, specifically rain, but we need more.
Maybe wind, lightning, thunder,” he says.
His already quiet words trail off as he says “lightning” and “thunder,” so I need to strain to hear them.
The words are unfamiliar to me, but so much of this world is unfamiliar still that it doesn’t really matter.
“Not here,” Dio growls from behind us.
When I hear his voice, I realize he’s closer than I thought. Goosebumps travel up my spine at how near he is. I walk faster for a moment, trying to put more space between us.
Meanwhile, Lent is looking back at him, and out of my peripheral vision, I see him roll his eyes. “Where am I supposed to tell her then, wise guy, huh?”
Dio doesn’t respond, or if he does, I don’t hear him, and Lent speeds up to stay beside me.
Suddenly, I feel a different type of attention on me and look around only to see a pair of horses. They’re fastened to the side of an ornate carriage, but they’re being fed and watered, so their bridles are off. Since they’re off work, I don’t hesitate to go to them.
As I approach the horse nearer to me, he lowers his head, wuffling his breath against my hair as he examines me with his nose.
He’s telling me about how the hay isn’t to their liking, and do I maybe have a carrot or two?
I let him down softly that I don’t have any carrots, and then I remember I grabbed an extra biscuit from breakfast and reach into my pocket.
Pulling it out, I break it in half and give some to each of the two horses. The one who is further from me butts her head ever so gently against my torso in thanks. She seems to sense that I have an injury and is trying to avoid causing me additional pain.
I wrap my arms around her massive head and breathe in the calming, musky scent. Suddenly remembering our mission and Dio’s impatience, I thank both of them for their time and comfort and then walk back to Lent.
Lent is looking at me with a grin on his face. “You really have a way with them,” he says.
From the glance I catch of Dio, he’s staring down the street away from me, looking uncomfortable even for him.
Surprised and slightly emboldened that he’s not scolding me, I link my arm through Lent’s, which is a stretch since he’s so much taller, and lead him down the street towards our destination.
“I nearly forgot that you know where you’re going for this one,” he says.
“After being here twice, I'm pretty sure I can find my way back,” I respond with a grin.
“Wait,” Lent says, pausing and turning toward me, “twice?”
I flinch, remembering suddenly that I hadn’t asked permission for the second time.
“Yes,” I say hesitantly, “I went once on my own.”
Then I remember how I paid for the books and feel my cheeks flush. Looking down at the cobblestones beneath my feet, I say, “I may have put the books on your tab.” I look hesitantly up at Lent, but his face is split with a grin.
He chuckles and shakes his head slightly, “Well, that explains some things. Reem wondered how I’d run up a tab I didn’t remember.” He meets my eyes and must see my hesitation because he just grins at me as he says, “You’re a clever one, Shorty.”
I can’t help but laugh at that, and my chest feels light again until I hear Dio speaking behind us. “Wait, what? You find out she left the mansion without your knowledge or permission, bought books, and ran up your tab, and you call her clever?”
I hesitate, but Lent pulls me forward as he looks over his shoulder at Dio and sticks his tongue out at him.
“Real mature,” Dio growls behind us as we keep walking.
Lent leans toward me, conspiratorial again, like we have a secret, and says quietly, “I feel like we have an angry guard dog following us.”
Both of us suddenly have a fit of the giggles, and that’s how we arrive outside the door of the small bookshop.
Somehow, we get control of ourselves before we walk through the door, but the little old man still glares at us as though he recognizes trouble as we enter his shop. A giggle tries to break loose from my chest, but I push it down, burying it before I get in further trouble.
Before the shop owner can kick us out proactively based on his suspicions, Lent pulls me further into the library. I follow him for a bit before I remove my arm from his hold and begin wandering on my own, getting lost among the stacks.
As I walk, I occasionally pull a book off the shelf, the cartographer in my head somehow pointing them out as landmarks.
As I choose them, Lent takes them from me, following and carrying the ever-growing pile.
After he’s amassed quite a large stack, we return to the shopkeeper and pay for our treasures.
I wonder as we leave the shop if we’ll go home based on how many books we found. However, Lent doesn’t seem to feel we have enough books yet and says, “On to the next shop, Shorty!” as he hails a carriage.
Dio is clearly annoyed that we’re not done, but doesn’t say anything and climbs into the carriage with us without further complaint.
The trip to the second bookstore doesn’t take much time, so I don’t need to deal with the awkward tension caused by Dio’s moodiness for long.
It also helps that Lent and I are already digging through our purchases.
As we talk animatedly about the books we found, Dio sits silently, staring out the window and only occasionally glancing at us. A silent, but stormy dark cloud.
Shopping at the second bookstore is much like the first. The only real difference is that the books are organized differently, there is a pet cat with fluffy orange fur, and the shopkeeper is a little old lady.
Finally, with another armful of books purchased, we load ourselves back into the carriage for the drive home. This trip is quieter because I’m exhausted, and even Lent must be a little tired because he’s unusually silent.
When we arrive outside the mansion, we discern that we may have purchased too many books for the two of us to carry, at least with my still unhealed wound. Dio surprises both of us and offers to Lent that he’ll carry half the books. After the brief moment of shock passes, Lent accepts.
I follow behind the two of them as they carry our prizes inside. Even after a long day, Lent clearly can’t help himself as he turns to me and wiggles his eyebrows while gesturing at Dio.
When I get close, he whispers, “I think he might be in love with me.”
I punch him in the shoulder.
Laughter follows us into the house, and that night I have the best sleep I can remember.