Chapter 42 Dio’s Journal - Entry 291
The less we speak about that concert, the better. We packed the space with fans. I think most of them had a pretty good time. We got through the full set, and I guess no one got hurt.
I, however, feel like a failure. I was a mess.
I kept screwing up the keys, couldn’t remember all of the lyrics, and I nearly dropped the entire last chorus of one of our new songs.
I don’t know what was going on with me. I couldn’t concentrate.
I tried to push through, but I could tell that the other guys were disappointed.
I might as well start using again at this point. My feelings about what might be going on with Chaosta are messing me up more than I probably would be if I just started injecting again.
I’m kidding, of course. I know I shouldn’t be even joking about it, but that is what this journal started as, right? A way to get my feelings out that’s healthier than my previous coping mechanism.
Fuck
What a fantastic way to be feeling before the upcoming meeting with my judgmental, asshole of a brother.