Senior Day
She thought she beat it like any other game she willed herself to win.
And this matter of the heart certainly seemed worthy of victory—that victory being the absence of guilt for loving Abby entirely.
It was easy to do in her arms, easy in the shield of night, and easy when they existed in their carefully crafted bubble. A place where they couldn’t be wrong.
Until life squeezed in. Until the church bells rang distantly on Sunday mornings while she slept on Abby’s chest. Until she opened her bedside drawer and skimmed her untouched Bible. Until Pastor Derek stopped her on the quad.
“Kate Hutchins!” he said with arms raised, as he approached from the opposite direction, so that she couldn’t possibly ignore him. “We’ve missed you!”
She wanted to flee, and when she couldn’t, she wanted to be sick. She held her books tighter to her chest. “I know. This season’s just been so hectic.”
“Yes. The team’s the talk of the town.”
Kate swore his plastic grin and accompanying squint weren’t for the team’s unprecedented success, but her secret.
Like she was steeped in sin so strong that he smelled it on her.
If that wasn’t already the case, sweat sprang up along her back as she failed to come up with anything to say, standing dumb and guilty for things she’d yet to be accused of.
“Well, I know it’s been a busy and, at times, challenging year for you.” He paused. “I still keep in touch with Blake.”
Kate nodded, wondering how it could get much worse, how to make her voice work, and if she did, what excuse she might make to slip away.
“Sometimes when we face pressure and change, it’s the best time to lean on God and your church community,” Derek said.
Stiff spikes of hair poked out from his fedora, his wooden crucifix hung on a beaded cord necklace, and his arms tattooed in Bible verses bulged out of a too-tight T-shirt.
Every stylistic choice landed like a desperate attempt at hip for the youth he led.
“If you can’t make CAC or Sunday worship, you can come see me instead.
My door is always open if there’s anything you want to talk about.
Softball, school, boys. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. ”
She finally fished a few words out. “Right. I’ll remember that. Thank you.”
“I’ll pray for you. For your season and that we see you soon.” Derek smiled as he departed. “Don’t be a stranger!”
Kate scurried off, just short of a sprint, not stopping until she rounded the corner of the nearest building. She threw her back against the bricks and gasped as the dreaded morning at the farm came back in vivid color.
It wasn’t supposed to happen here. For months, it’d been enough that damnation never came, God never struck her down, and truthfully, she didn’t regret reneging on her purity.
By her own conviction, their love’s profound reach couldn’t possibly be wrong.
But when the church bells rang, when the pastor called her back to the congregation, she wondered why a love so good could leave her so far from God.
Insley’s student body rallied for Senior Day, the last home game before regionals.
Athletic triumph wasn’t the institution’s norm, but on that bright May evening, the warmest day of spring thus far, fans packed the bleachers, spilled over to standing room only, and lined up along the foul lines.
The baseball team led the crowd in cheers and chants.
A handful of guys painted their beer-bloated stomachs maroon, spelling out Eagles in a sloppy row.
Kate knew the rise in support wasn’t solely due to the team’s win streak, but also to Abby’s record-breaking performance.
A few newspapers and local stations picked up the story, initially running a blurb on her setting the new home run record, before someone realized her connection to Audie Cruz.
That’s when it spread to larger networks and sports shows, which aired footage of Abby alongside her famous father.
Kate held her breath as Abby turned off the TV and chucked the remote.
She glowered just as bitterly as they stepped onto the diamond for warm-ups that day and spotted signs in the stands: Adios, Abby Cruz! It’s outta here!
“They’re going to be disappointed if they think he’s coming,” Abby said to Kate as they waited between grounders.
“It doesn’t matter as long as you’re not.”
“What about you?” Abby frowned. “Are you okay?”
Kate was grateful that Coach Whitley drilled a ball to her at shortstop, so she didn’t have to answer.
Per Senior Day tradition, the senior class’s parents joined them on the field for a pregame ceremony.
While Mick’s, T.K.’s, and Jill’s parents arrived, and Isla stepped in for Abby’s late mother, Kate had no one.
She considered calling her parents, but it’d been months since they’d spoken.
While they rarely attended her games, she always imagined they’d be there.
“Kate?”
“I’m fine,” she said.
The crowd’s intensity left little time to dwell. Her fingers jittered through warm-ups, Mick struggled to bark over the noise, and Jill bobbled a few easy throws at first. It wasn’t just the fans either.
“Check it out.” Abby nodded at the seats along the home dugout. “Cal is here.”
A chance at Berkeley. A chance at their future. One that made Kate’s knees wobble. When she suggested Abby join her, she’d meant it. But that was before the church bells stole her sleep, before Pastor Derek, and before her heart and faith declared war on each other.
“I’m actually a little nervous,” Abby said.
Kate didn’t respond. Her eyes drifted to the rows below the Berkeley scout. Her mouth fell. “Oh my God.”
“What?”
She staggered toward an out-of-place couple amid the students. As she drew closer, her heart sputtered. It was her parents, grinning as she opened the gate to meet them. “What are you doing here?”
“We couldn’t miss this.” Ray embraced her and her mother fell into the hug with him.
“You didn’t call.” She gulped. “After I left, I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“We owe you an apology,” Ray said, and Beth nodded along.
He frowned, lines deepening in his forehead as he rested a hand on Kate’s shoulder.
“God works in mysterious ways. If your heart wasn’t with Blake, then it wasn’t right to marry him.
We have to trust you to make your own decisions and walk a righteous path.
You’ve done it so far. You’ve made us very proud. ”
Kate’s throat tightened. The tears rolled instantly. She cried because all along she’d wanted this, her parents, and now she understood how badly. She also cried because they believed her righteous and good, when she’d fallen so far from their expectations.
Ray hugged her again. “Hey, none of that.” He chuckled in his papa bear growl, the one that assuaged Kate on her lowest days. “ ‘There’s no crying in baseball,’ remember?”
Kate hastily dried her cheeks. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Abby walking to the dugout. She stopped to meet Kate’s gaze. Her amber eyes darkened, her jaw clenched, and she knew in the wordless exchange, one that put a pit in her gut, that everything was about to change.
The fivesome waited with their families ahead of the ceremony, in which the announcer would call them one by one before they accepted applause and flowers for their accomplishments.
Mick’s bubbly mom and dad babbled. T.K.’s divorced parents wouldn’t speak to each other, her mother scowling at her father, who plugged one ear with his finger while he screamed into his phone.
Jill’s parents wore matching tie-dye shirts with her face printed on them.
Isla talked lowly with Abby, who gazed off as if bereaved.
Kate introduced her parents to the strange mix of her friends and their families, balking when she came to Abby. “This is Abby Cruz, my—” Kate stopped. “The third baseman.”
Mick, Jill, T.K., and Isla stiffened, or perhaps Kate imagined it. Either way, Abby certainly did. She didn’t speak, just nodded at Ray and Beth as she shook their hands.
“Nice to meet you,” Ray said. “You’re Audie Cruz’s daughter, aren’t you?”
“I’m Isla, Abby’s sister,” Isla cut in, and Kate bit back a thank-you. “I’m a professor here, and Kate’s my best student. You must be so proud.”
“Isla helped me get into Berkeley,” Kate said.
Beth’s eyes stretched wide. “You got in?”
Abby glared. “You didn’t know?”
“So where is Audie?” Ray asked. Kate didn’t know what enraged her more—her father asking about Audie or that he ignored her news about law school.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Abby said. “But, since we’re asking unpleasant questions, why’d you decide to come after you turned your back on Kate this winter?”
“Okay, let’s not do this,” Kate said through her teeth.
Ray furrowed his brow at Abby. “You’re the one who picked her up, aren’t you?”
“Dad, tell everyone who you voted for last election.” Mick smacked her father’s mammoth shoulder, and he hissed. “Or T.K., where’d your mom get her tits done?”
“Sadie!” Mick’s mother pinched her ear.
“What? They’re nice,” Mick muttered, before T.K. squeezed her other ear. “Ow!”
“My surgeon’s in Miami, sweetie. I can refer you,” T.K.’s mother said as she finished reapplying lipstick and snapped her compact closed.
Kate glared at Abby, and she spitefully returned it. She thought enduring their last home game without her parents would be unbearable, but this was worse.