Chapter 25 The Wedding
The Wedding
Abby washed the Percocet down with scotch in the bathroom.
She held out through the ceremony, despite the agony of spending the day next to Kate.
Getting ready, taking photos, standing side by side as Mick and Haley exchanged vows, as if nothing had happened between them.
As if she hadn’t spent every night sick, every day distracted, contemplating her phone, plotting how she might win her back.
She never stopped loving or wanting Kate, but Las Vegas reawakened a monster in her.
Abby finished her drink and charged back into the reception.
“There you are.” Dani stopped her and pecked her lips. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.”
“Sorry. Bridesmaid duties.” Abby kissed her again.
She frowned at neglecting her during the wedding and brushing her aside since the bachelorette.
Dani didn’t deserve it. More accurately, Abby didn’t deserve her.
Of the many women she’d dated and slept with to get over Kate, Dani was the sweetest, the smartest, the most patient.
She’d stuck around the longest and if it hadn’t been for Las Vegas, Abby might have considered a future where they were close to happy.
Dani brushed her cheek. “Are you okay? You’re sweaty.”
Abby diverted her eyes. Dani had caught on to her opioid abuse a few months ago and made her flush the pills down the toilet.
After a week of sweating out her mistakes on the couch, she thought she might’ve kicked them for good.
But as Las Vegas crept closer, she sought relief.
She told herself just one to help her sleep in the weeks leading up to it, and soon she was begging doctors for more, complaining of knee pain, back on the hook by the time Kate threw a drink in her face.
She’d tried to slow down since, hating the disappointment in Kate’s eyes, surviving on half pills to avoid vomiting and the chills, but her teeth clenched for more, agitated and restless, an eye always on the clock. Today she couldn’t take it.
“I’m good,” Abby said. “I’m just regretting the suit.”
“I think it’s cute.”
“Just cute?”
“Sexy.” Dani tugged on her lapel. “Come dance with me.”
Abby shook her head. “I don’t know. The knee is killing me today.” Her gaze drifted past Dani’s shoulder, landing on Kate across the way, radiant in her burgundy dress with hair tumbling in waves. “I’m going to grab a drink. You want anything?”
“No, but hurry back and sit with me. Dylan’s nice, but I’m going to go crazy if I have to listen to him talk about hedge funds any longer.”
“I’ll be there soon.” Abby kissed her. “Thanks for being such a good sport.”
“You owe me,” Dani said as Abby slinked off to the bar.
She ordered another scotch and found T.K., Jill, and Juniper. “Is this where all the cool kids are hanging out?” she asked.
“Not anymore,” T.K. said.
Abby clocked Jill’s glass and narrowed her brow. “Water? Are you pregnant?”
“No, I just haven’t recovered from the bachelorette. I’ve been puking all week…” Jill trailed, and her eyes widened. “Oh my God.”
“Congrats?”
“Condolences,” T.K. said before nudging Abby. “Dani’s cute.”
“Thanks.” She searched for Kate and found her next to Ryan, his hand at her waist.
“So, I think it’s an appropriate time to discuss Las Vegas…”
Abby didn’t acknowledge her, busy staring daggers at Ryan, despising his dimpled chin and golden hair. “How does she always find the most attractive, successful jerks to date?”
T.K. swirled her drink. “Some girls have all the luck.”
“He’s not that great.” Abby scowled and sipped her scotch. “He looks like he’s campaigning for Congress.”
“Well, Hutch is the all-American-girl type,” Jill said.
“What does that make me?”
“The one mother dearest warned about.” T.K. snorted and Jill cackled along.
“Wow, thanks guys.” Abby glared. Juniper whirled between their legs and yanked at Abby’s hand. She let her swing and play, a miniature Jill with her red curls. “What do you think, Junie?”
Juniper giggled. “I think you’re funny.”
“Well, at least someone has something nice to say.”
Jill cleared her throat. “So, Vegas.”
“What about it?” Abby twirled Juniper around to avoid their eyes.
“Did you and Hutch fuck?” T.K. asked.
“Jesus!”
“Earmuffs, Junie,” Jill said, before smacking T.K.
Abby clapped her hands over Juniper’s ears. “The kid is right here.”
“She doesn’t know what fucking is,” T.K. said before dropping her mouth at Jill. “Does she?”
“No, but we just got her to stop talking about the Kinsey scale at preschool. Thanks for that, Cruz.” Jill rolled her eyes.
Abby shrugged. “I think it’s good she knows that sexuality is fluid.”
“Okay, while earmuffs are in place, what the hell happened between you and Hutch?” T.K. asked.
“What are we talking about?” Kate slinked in beside them.
“Nothing,” Jill said.
“Really? Because my ears are burning.”
Abby blushed and looked away. Despite their night together, she didn’t know how to pursue Kate. Not anymore. She’d made it clear where they stood and moved on. It was Abby who couldn’t.
“I think Junie’s ears are burning too.” Abby chuckled and removed her hands from the flower girl’s head. “What do you say we get some cake?”
“Yes!” Juniper threw her arms in the air.
“She’s already had two pieces,” Jill said. “I don’t want her going crazy on sugar.”
“Oh, lighten up, Shupe, it’s a wedding.” Abby winked and tossed Juniper over her shoulder.
“Who’s Shupe?” Juniper giggled as Abby carried her off.
“It’s what we called your mom when we played softball.”
She shared a piece of cake with Juniper near the dessert table, lifting her to stand on a chair so that they could eat from the same plate.
Mick and Haley made the rounds among their family and friends, grinning, laughing, stopping for photos.
Abby had teared up at the ceremony. At the idea of having someone so completely. At believing in forever.
“Can we have more?” Juniper asked, licking frosting off her fingers.
“No, your mom will freak out,” Abby said.
She spotted Dani waving her over to their table. Abby waved back, sighed, didn’t want to return. Didn’t want to be anywhere.
“Here.” Juniper ungracefully shoved a forkful of white cake at her mouth.
Abby accepted it. “Thanks.”
“Now, this is where the real party’s at.” Kate brushed beside her. “How’s the cake, Junie?”
“Good,” Juniper chirped.
“Do you have a minute to talk?”
Abby nodded. “Sure.” She grunted as she set Juniper on the ground, high-fived her, and sent her skipping back to Dylan.
“It’s crazy that I haven’t seen you with Junie before.” Kate smiled. “She adores you.”
“She just likes that I let her do whatever she wants.”
“You’re cute with her.”
Abby nodded, her lips drooping. She didn’t know when she had become so pathetic, but simply being around Kate wore her down.
“What did you want to talk about?”
Kate’s eyes darkened, no longer adoring Abby’s bond with Juniper, but back to the apprehension from Las Vegas. In fact, Abby knew the question before Kate even said it. They never needed many words. “The pills—”
“Are gone.”
She hated lying. She was a pro at deflecting, but she was mostly honest. And with Kate, there was no other way. Lying to her only reinforced that she was floating in dark waters, just like her thumb rubbing the pill in her pocket.
“You promise?” Kate searched her gaze, so close to the truth that Abby squirmed.
“I promise.” She cleared her throat. “Shouldn’t you be with Bryan?”
Kate tightened her jaw, resisting a laugh. “You know his name is Ryan.”
Abby smirked. “I just assumed it was short for something.”
They eyed the dance floor side by side. Typically, the right mix of pills and booze numbed the pain and blunted the rest. Except with Kate. Even drugs couldn’t stop that flutter, the rapid banging in her chest, or the childish need to crawl into her.
“I’ve been feeling a little guilty.”
“About the kiss?” Abby whipped her head to her in panic. “Did you tell him or—”
“No. And it’s not the kiss,” Kate said with a sigh. “Spending the night together.”
“We didn’t do anything.”
“Yeah, but I think sex might’ve felt less intimate.”
“Oh, now you tell me.” Abby chuckled. She nudged Kate’s shoulder. “Don’t feel guilty.”
Kate kept her stare trained on the dance floor. “I talked to Dani. She’s sweet. Pretty. She seems good for you.”
“Yeah, she is.” Abby gulped more of her drink. “Ryan is nauseatingly perfect, huh?”
“Stop.”
Kate’s back clenched at that word. Perfect.
Abby knew she might react that way, but didn’t intend to ridicule her.
Not during what could very well be their last time together.
After this, it would just be weddings and babies, and perhaps not even that.
Abby didn’t know if she could bear to do it again.
As she fingered the pill in her pocket, she didn’t know if she’d even be around to do it again.
“I’m sorry,” Abby whispered. “I’m just having a hard time knowing this is it.”
“We can still be friends.”
Abby shook her head. “You know that’s not true.”
“I know.” Kate’s chin crumpled.
When their eyes met, she considered begging, crying, grabbing her by the hand in one last effort to salvage them. But there was nothing to salvage. Maybe even less than five years ago.
“Dance with me?” Abby asked.
“What about—”
“It’s our last time.” Abby spilled her soul into her stare as she grabbed her hand. “Please.”
Kate laced their fingers together and followed her to the floor as a slow ballad started. She eased into Abby, looped hands around her neck like a high school dance. Abby rested her hands at her waist, doing her best to enjoy it, to not crumple on the hardwood beneath the twinkling lights.
“I can’t get used to seeing you like this,” Abby said.
“At a wedding?”
“Just all of us. Grown up.”
Kate’s mouth quirked. “Am I everything you’d thought I’d be?”
“So much more,” she whispered. A lump filled her throat and the rest spilled without her permission. “I want you back, Kate.”
“Abby…”