Chapter 17
Seventeen
Mabel
Reaching the porch with Ellie hot on my heels after this morning’s adventure, she won’t stop chewing my ears off about finally learning how to be a Cowboy. Or the start of one anyway.
I can’t help but smile down at my daughter as she carries on talking. I remember my first experience out with my daddy and Colter when I was about her age.
I suppose I drove my own mama mad with excitement, like how my daughter is doing to me now. I always thought there was no feeling like it; being free out in the fields, herding cattle from one place to another.
Boy, had I been wrong.
Watching my daughter fall in love with it, was even more magical than I could ever experience; now I know how my dad must have felt all those years ago watching us.
The joy replaced with Maverick’s heartbroken face still at the forefront of my mind. The realisation to the questions he probably had himself since Saturday when he first saw her. I know he left and completely broke me; but seeing him looking heartbroken stirred something in me.
Everyone knows I never got over him or moved on. I’m still very much in love with the boy who left me all those years ago.
Still holding onto the dream that we never accomplished. Seeing him hurt, made me hurt even more than I already am; making my anger slowly subside.
Ellie pulls me from my thoughts again; this time it’s extremely welcomed.
I open the large sliding door at the back of the big house and lead my daughter into the kitchen.
I notice the time on the large grandfather clock in the corner, past the dining room table which is big enough to fit twenty on a good day, more on a squeeze.
We’d done that plenty of times when we were kids.
It’s a little past two in the afternoon and Ellie runs straight past me and over to my mama who’s busying herself in the kitchen, making what looks like a key lime pie for tomorrow. I scan the island and see six different types of pie. I look back at my mom and smile.
“Too much?” she asks, turning around wiping her hands down her apron.
“No, Mama, never.” I humour her.
Ellie runs past me yet again and straight into my mom’s arms.
“Mamaw, I did it! I herded the cows,” Ellie squeals with excitement. Lovely, she can now chew mamas ears off about her morning.
“That’s amazing, Ellie-Belly!” My mom responds, giving her a tight hug.
I make my way towards my family’s liquor cabinet and pull out my daddy’s whiskey. My mom eyes me from the side of her embrace with Ellie. I place the bottle on the island and reach for a glass.
Mama lets Ellie go and looks at me with concern. “Ellie girl, Gramps is in the lounge, why don’t you go tell him all about your morning. He’s very excited to hear all about it,” my mom winks at my daughter.
I pour the whiskey into the glass and put the lid back onto the bottle before taking a sip. The sweet liquor burns down my throat, and I let out a deep sigh, relaxing my shoulders as I go.
“Okay!” Ellie squeals before taking off running down the hall towards the front of the house, not even giving us a second glance as she speeds off.
I look up from my glass at my mama who is already eyeballing me, hands perched on her hips.
“Please, don’t start,” I say, taking another sip.
My mom takes her hands off her hips and removes her apron, folding it gently onto the island.
“Angel,” my mom says before I feel the familiar lump already forming hard in my throat.
I don’t look her in the eye, because I know as soon as I do, I’m going to fall apart, and I really don’t want to do that. The way she’s looking at me now though makes me realise I don’t think I have a choice.
“Mama-” I whisper as my favourite woman reaches me and wraps her arms tightly around me, pulling me into her chest as I sit on the bar stool with one foot on the floor holding my balance.
A sob exits my mouth, and my nose starts to run. I feel the tears seeping down my cheeks as I pull my hand away from my glass and return my mom’s hug, even tighter than when it first started.
We stay there for a few minutes, me sobbing as quietly as I can into my mama’s shoulder as she holds onto me so tight.
At one point, I debate if I can breathe against her, I also debate if it’s from the crying the reason I’m struggling to breath; maybe both.
As I start to calm down from the ache in my chest, I feel mama’s fingers stroking the top of my head, getting stuck in my thick hair. I look up at her and meet her eyes.
“Feel better?” She smiles; fingers still intertwined in my scalp.
I wipe the tears away from my cheeks and reach for a tissue on the counter. I blow my nose with force and scrunch the tissue up in my hands, refusing to put it down in case I need it again.
“Sorry, Mama,” I choke out.
“Angel, you never need to apologies to me for that.” I feel her hand stroke my face. I grin at her, tears still in my eyes.
“It’s my job.” She winks at me, tightening her grip on my cheeks, and I let out a laugh, then a sniff.
Leaning my arm back over towards my whiskey, I take the glass with both hands and start to move it against the countertop. I blow out a breath and will my eyes to look back at my mom who’s moved back onto the opposite end of the island to give me some breathing room.
“He knows, Mama,” I breathe out, only just louder than a whisper.
My mom places her hand on her hip. “Well-” she starts. “Better now than never.” I take another sip of my drink before placing the glass down once again.
“He looked so heartbroken,” I choke another sob out as my mom picks up a wooden spoon. She moves her bowl onto the island, so she is now facing me.
I feel terrible dumping this on her, when we all still have so much to do in time for tomorrows festivities.
My mom lets out a sigh and faces me. “I’m not surprised, sugar.” Her response confuses me. The look on her face says she can see my confusion.
Why would he be so heartbroken? He left and I didn’t, I stayed right here where we were supposed to be.
“Look, Angel...” Mama starts, mixing the ingredients in her mixing bowl. “I never wanted to say this to you, because well… you were always so broken over it,” she starts.
I look at her with intensity with what she’s about to say.
“Did you ever consider that there’s a reason behind all of this?” she asks.
Of course, I thought about it, every possible scenario on why he just upped and left. Hell, it fucking consumed me most days. A million explanations went through my mind, however in the end I fully accepted that I wouldn’t ever know why.
That is, until he turned up at my door on Friday and all those scenarios came flooding back with such force it could have knocked me over ten times over.
I stay quiet, keeping my eyes firmly locked on hers. “Listen, I’m not saying what he did was right,” she continues. “All I’m saying is Mabel, he’s back.” She’s right so far.
“I saw the way y’all looked at each other when you were kids, hard to keep you off of each other.” I laugh at that, she’s still right.
I remember the many occasions; she would physically move us to the opposite end of the table throughout the years. Which we always opposed and ended up back together, always hand in hand, my leg over his lap; always touching each other in some way.
“What y’all had, it was real.” She looks back at me, pain behind her eyes.
I shake my head at her words, not believing them. “He left Mama,” I start.
“But he’s come back,” she finishes, stopping me before I come up with some excuse.
My brow creasing at the uncomfortable thought of this conversation. I place my head in my right hand, still nursing my whiskey with my left. Eye’s flittering to my glass and back at my mom.
“All I’m saying is,” I look back to her as continuing her speech. “Speak to him, see what he has to say for himself.” And she’s right, again.
It dawns on me that I’ve finally got my opportunity to find my answers and hopefully move on from him, finally put the past to rest and let my heart become whole again; if that’s possible?
“Don’t be cruel to him, he looks as heartbroken as you do.” She lifts an eyebrow at me, and I smile. She knows me too well.
“You know how annoying it is when you’re right?” I smirk at her, finishing my glass and getting up from my seat.
I place my glass into the dishwasher next to where my mom’s standing, still mixing away and lean over to her.
“Thank you, Mama,” I say, planting a kiss on her cheek.
She returns the kiss onto my cheek. I look back towards the clock in the corner to see that it’s not past three yet, Maverick should still be here.
This is my chance.
“Oh, and one more thing,” my mom stops my movement, and I look back towards at her.
“Forgive your brother, he lost his best friend as well.” She says softly. I knew that was coming.
I roll my eyes at her and let my feet carry me out the back door and down towards the stables.
I’m almost running down to the stables, where I know Maverick will be. I need to apologies to him about how I’ve been treating him.
Maybe mama’s right, maybe there is a reason, and I need to let him explain.
I owe myself that.
I want an answer, a proper one.
I see the way he looks at me and has done since he turned up on my door, I’m not blind, his eyes never falter.
Does he still love me or am I reading this completely wrong?
Or does he feel some sort of guilt that’s eating him alive so much that he had to come back and face the music?
Turning the corner into the stables large entrance, I’m suddenly being knocked flying onto my back, and a gasp leaves my mouth at the painful thud as I land on the ground.
I open my eyes, trying to make sense of why I’m on the hard gravel when I feel the jolt before I see who is laying on top of me.
Maverick is placing all his weight on me as he shakes his head.
Damn, has he always this heavy?
“What the fu...” he starts and opens his eyes, looking into mine.
The heat spreading through my core at the automatic memory of him being in this position with me, I feel my cheeks burning.
“Hi, Mav,” I say, as I look up into his green eyes. He smiles, looking confused.
“Hi, Mabel,” he says, eyes gleaming down at me.
Fuck, no, Firefly.
I mean, I did almost ripped his head off twice when he called me it. Gazing into his eyes, I open my lips slightly. I feel the bulge in his jeans becoming harder.
It takes every ounce of me not to move my hips against his growing shaft, no matter how wet my pussy becomes or the fire that’s gone back into my soul.
I look at his lips as he licks them. This is too much. My pussy aches at the interaction.
I need to move away. Now.
“Should we umm...” I say as I move my hands from under his body and gesture to get up.
“Shit, sorry,” Mav says as he moves and drags me up with him.
I brush my shirt back down as it has ridden up with the force of Maverick falling onto me. I smile at him, trying to not be as venomous as before. My heart thumps in my chest.
Maverick starts looking out around the area outside the barn and I automatically spot the problem.
Stallion, the little shit.
“Ahh, see you’ve met Stallion-” I smile at him. “He’s a handful.” I shoot him a wink.
“So, I can see.” He snorts back at me.
He runs his hand through his hair, placing his Cowboy hat firmly back on his head.
“Sorry about knocking into ya,” he says, shyly.
“It’s okay,” I reply, looking directly at his cock through his jeans.
I take the halter from Mavericks hand and walk over to one of my favourite horses. I extend my arm over his face and get the rope on him with no issues. Stallion snorts and I feel my hair move back over my shoulder.
I click my tongue and lead Stallion back into the stable, stopping outside his stall and tie his rope tight on the metal ring attached to the wall.
I lean on to the stable door and cross my arms behind my back. I smile back at him as he follows us through.
“There you go,” I say, with a hint of smug behind my voice. “Thank you,” he replies in a timid voice.
We stand there frozen, taking in each other.
I still see the same Maverick that I’d fallen in love with so many years ago.
It’s hard not to lose myself in the moment. The memories and feeling’s flooding back with force.
Maverick takes a step closer to me, and I stay positioned in the spot I’m stationed in. He takes another step closer to me, and I feel the heat rising again.
“How… how have you been?” I manage to get out before he gets any closer.
“Okay. You?” he asks.
Absolutely soul destroyed without you.
“Okay.” I shrug back out. I see his shoulders tense.
“This is awkward,” he laughs out.
“Just a bit.” I laugh back, becoming more relaxed as the seconds drag on. He takes another step towards me.
“I’m sorry, I took the job,” he mutters out. His apology takes me a minute to sink it in.
“I’m sorry, I was so cruel to you.” I look away from his gaze. Embarrassed about how I have acted, no matter how deserving I believe it to be.
“No, no… you don’t not need to apologize for that.” He leans towards me with a hand outstretched when we hear a shout coming from across the barn. Both our heads move towards the noise.
“Mama!” Ellie screams, coming through the large wooden door.
Damn, I don’t know whether I’ve been saved by Ellie, or completely cock blocked. My gaze looks towards her. Ellie spots who I’m talking to.
“Hello again, Mr Maverick!” She squeals, reaching us and I place her in my arms.
Maverick looks at my daughter with wonder and compliments her on this morning. He looks proud, as am I.
“Come on, Ellie, Mr Maverick has work to finish,” I say ushering my daughter away. Whatever conversation we need to have, I won’t be doing it in her presence.
Walking out of the barn, still ushering my daughter away, I decide to look back at Maverick. He’s still standing in the same position. I offer him a small wave and his lips part.
Hopefully that’s a small peace offering for me to get the answers I’m looking for.