Chapter 19
Nineteen
Mabel
Looking at the time on my smart watch, I already know that we’re running well and truly behind schedule for the day’s events.
Quarter to twelve and we’re already an hour behind in the setting up schedule.
Looking up from the green bean casserole I’m making, the sweat placed on my brow, hair back into a low ponytail today as;
One: it’s hot as balls.
Two: I really don’t need my hair in everyone’s food.
I look towards the end of the kitchen and watch my brother walk through the sliding back door. I tilt my eyes up to meet his, feeling awkward as fuck.
I don’t argue with my brother as a rule; period.
We did enough fighting to last us a lifetime when we were younger. So, having not spoken to him for days and remembering the words my mom told me, it brings over a wave of sadness as I look at him.
“Need help?” He asks, sheepishly.
I still haven’t had a proper conversation with him about the whole Maverick situation, but I promised mama I’d forgive him.
When Maverick left, he put a wound in a lot of us. Colter and I suffered the most. I lost my soulmate; he lost his best friend. I know he struggled not having him around as much as I did, and we tried to lean on each other during those times.
However, being a fully-fledged adult, I need to try and let go of the resentment of the past and move forward on the fact that I will get my answers from him sooner or later; whether he wants to give them or not. I deserve them and most importantly I need them to move on.
“I’m good, Honeybee.” I wink at him, but instead of biting my head off he laughs at the notion, running his hand through his hair and back down onto his beard.
He walks over to me with his bowed legs and puts his arm over my shoulder. I place the mixing bowl down on the island and return my arm around his hip.
“Are we good?” he asks, leaning his forehead into my cheek.
“We’re good.” I nod back at him, leaning away from his face and bump my hip into his side.
He smirks at me, before placing a kiss on my cheek. “I’m really sorry Mabe’s,” he starts but I wave him off.
“Nothing to apologise for.” I look into his eyes, cutting him off before he can finish.
Sometimes in your own grief you truly forget others, and I hate to admit that I’d done that to my brother when Maverick walked into my office on Saturday morning. I forgot I wasn’t the only one in pain or have emotions when he strolled back into town.
Sitting on my porch last night with my book after Ellie went to bed, my thoughts spiralled.
I’m still angry, and I’m still raw with emotion at seeing him again. It’s like I’m looking at a ghost. But coming across extremely bitter towards him isn’t who I am, and I know I’m better than that. I’m a mom and need to set a good example for my daughter.
Ellie doesn’t need to know what happened in the past, my utter heartbreak or the pieces of me that’s always been missing without him by my side. Besides, she seems to be happy to get to know him and his story.
Like she is with all the employees who come onto our land.
One day, all of this will be hers and we need to guide her in the correct way of ownership and how to treat employees. To her, that’s all Maverick is, she doesn’t need to know all the mess that comes in-between.
When I walked into the big house yesterday afternoon, it didn’t shock me to see Maverick sitting there drinking beer with my family in a deep conversation with my daughter; if anything, it was comforting. Like I’d stepped back in time and none of the hurt had happened.
I ushered Ellie away, much to her persistence of staying with them for dinner. Sometimes we eat at the big house but most of the time I enjoyed our quiet dinners. Made her bedtime a lot smoother and calmer. Besides, she needed the early night as she’ll be up incredibly late tonight.
Reaching for the tin foil to cover the casserole I finish making, I pick the bowl up and turn on my heels in the direction of the refrigerator.
Looking up from the floorboards towards the fridge, I see Maverick already standing there, eyeing me up with a shit-eating grin on his face. I smirk back at him.
“Hi, Firefly,” he says just above a whisper, and my heart nearly falls out my ass. My cheeks burn.
He’s said it again…
****
Seventeen years ago.
Feeling the wind against my face riding my second favourite boy, I see our field coming into view. Maverick’s behind me, trying to keep up on his new mare; Storm.
He decided to let me name her, and I thought she looked like a storm cloud waiting to happen on our lives.
“Slow down, will ya, Mabel?” I hear Maverick shout from behind me.
Hell would freeze over before me and my boy would slow down, we were gonna be the fastest team around.
Shame he’s such a good work horse; in another life he would have made a perfect barrel racer.
I nudge Dusty with my heel, and he flies through the last patch of green before reaching mine and Mav’s field.
The dusk on the horizon like it always is when we make it out here after a long day of school and chores.
I pull back on Dusty’s reigns reaching our favourite spot, slowing him down from his faultless gallop. I give my boy a pat and look behind me to see Mav and Storm trotting over to us.
“She’s got to keep up sometime.” I wink back at him, and he shows me my favourite grin.
“She’ll learn and then you’ll be sorry,” he says, finally reaching me.
Maverick swings his leg over Storm and comes off her back with ease, thudding his feet on the floor before tying her up on our makeshift post. I stay seated, waiting for him to reach me.
Maverick holds his arms to me as I swing my leg over Dusty’s back and place my arms on Maverick’s shoulder, sliding off my old boys side. I place a kiss onto one of Mavericks cheeks.
Settling down onto the grass, I let the air fill my lungs as Maverick slides in behind me, pulling my back onto his chest. The sun is setting, and it is the most beautiful sight. The wildlife starts to come to life around us.
“Hey, Mav, what are those?” I ask as I see dim lights surrounding us.
“They’re fireflies,” he responds, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“They’re beautiful,” I say, reaching out to try and touch one.
“Like you, baby,” Maverick whispers into my ear as I turn my face to look up at his, nudging my shoulder into his back. I feel my cheeks turning red as I lean against him.
“They remind me of you, you know,” he continues as I look back up to him.
“How so?” I ask.
“They light the nights sky, like you light up my sky, every single day, just by being you.” He smiles back down at me before leaning his face towards mine…
****
This time however, I refuse to snap back at him at the name. It sends a shiver down my spine. After all, I was sad and disappointed when he didn’t call me it yesterday.
Besides, even when I was angry; it made my stomach flutter.
“Hi, Mav,” I say, squeezing past him to place the bowl inside the fridge. He shuts the door as I step back. I watch him lick his lips as he leans against the door.
We stand there for a moment, refusing to break eye contact. Looking into his eyes takes my mind back into the memories I still held so close, the love I couldn’t let go of, or the heat rising up in the pit of my stomach.
“Do you think...” he starts, pulling his arm up to hold onto his neck.
I look longingly at him, like I’d done so many times, trying to hold down the thoughts of what I wished he’d do to me with those hands holding onto the nape of his neck.
“Do you think we can go somewhere?” He whispers, snapping me from the thoughts I shouldn’t be having, and my heart does a back flip.
Everything inside of me is screaming at me, pulling me to step towards him and kiss him, wrap my arms and legs around him and refuse to let go, like I should have done when he got onto that flight.
A cough interrupts us, and I look over my shoulder. Colter’s sitting against the island, slanting his eyes at us, pointing to his watch.
“Shit.” I realise I don’t have any time to do this with him; no matter how much I’m starting to want to.
I look back to Maverick and offer an apologetic shrug. “Later?” he pleads, looking longingly at me, almost begging me to give him the answer he so desperately wants, still holding onto his neck.
“Later.” I nod back at him, hopefully giving him a small piece of comfort before turning on my heels and walking back over to the island to start on the next thing on my list.
I catch Maverick still lurking as I look over my shoulder at him, “Need anything else?” I ask.
“Yeah, just wondering what this is?” he asks and I turn on my heels to see him holding Ellie’s curse jar.
“Curse jar.” I smirk.
“Your doing?” he asks, once again. I shake my head, “No, Mama’s, we cuss too much apparently.”
Maverick’s eyes tilt up from the jar to me and a shiver runs down my spine, the heat building.
He says nothing placing the jar back in its place before stomping towards me, quickly reaching me.
“Fuck yeah, you do.” He whispers, brushing against me before walking towards my brother and out of the sliding doors, not looking back in my direction.
I feel my nervous system do a full one eighty at those four simple words.
I stand there, stunned into silence by his presence and the growing wetness in between my legs, confused at why after all these years, would he even still pine for me?
****
Looking out onto the horizon, the sun still bright in the sky and not a cloud in sight, thankfully whatever potential storm that’s been on the weather forecast this week has blown over and left our town alone.
Bringing out the last of the food containers, I place them carefully over the heat stations set up to keep the casseroles warm enough for our guests.
Feeling hands on my shoulders, I turn around and see Jake and Mavericks mom, Kathleen, pulling me into a tight hug.
Leaving my oven mitts on the table I wrap my arms around her frame.
“Hi, baby girl!” She leans over my shoulder.
“Hi, Aunt Kay,” I whisper back to her as she pulls away from our embrace, the pain fresh in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” She asks, concern deep in her voice, but I only nod back to her, holding a hand onto hers. She looks deep into my soul and nods back.
Kathleen Riggins knows; she knows how much I was hurt most by her son because she was the woman I grieved the most to when he first left.
She didn’t have the answers alongside with me.
She held me when I sobbed into her lap at eighteen, over and over again throughout the years and then once again when I took the pregnancy test in her bathroom.
She’s my lifeline, just as much as my own mama.
I shake the sadness rising up in me and remember that this is the best day of our year, and that her son has finally come home to her. Something we both always wished for one another. I let out a staggered breath and smile up to her, letting her know that it is really okay.
“You ready to party, pretty girl?” she asks me, sensing my relief at her touch.
“Abso-fucking-lutely!” I wink back.
“You owe me a dollar, Mama,” I hear from the side of me before looking back at Aunt Kay, before we both let out an amused laugh.
“That’s my girl,” she nuzzles her nose against mine.
Looking over towards where my daughters voice sprung from, I spot Maverick leaning against a table with a whiskey in his hand, looking sheepish at the both of us. I offer him a shy smile before looking for my daughter.
“Uncle Jake, stop… That tickles!” she squeals, as I spot her with my favourite person ever.
“But I’m the tickle monster!” Jake roars back, raising his hands to her sides and tickling her as gentle as he could in a playfight. I shake my head as I let out a snorting laugh. I’d watch these two forever, if I could.
Ellie may not have a permanent dad in her life, but she sure isn’t short of men who stand into that roll, and for them, I’m forever thankful.
Moving away from the table and into their direction, I pick the pace up into a light jog as I brace myself for impact.
“Don’t worry, Ellie-belly, Mama’s on your side,” I shout before launching myself onto Jake’s back and tickling him in the same spot he’s trying to do to my daughter.
“Ahh! Stop! I’m being ambushed,” he screams as Ellie breaks free and tickles his other side with me. Jake’s still screaming like a man whose balls haven’t dropped yet into my ear.
“Dude, seriously?” I hear, looking up from the awkward position I’m in on Jake’s back and see my girls walking towards me as I continue to help my daughter attack her uncle.
“This isn’t a fair fight,” Hope starts before looking at Iris with her famous smirk.
“Yeah, I reckon this needs some more manpower,” Iris finish’s before diving straight onto Jake’s back, inches from landing on top of me instead.
Hope takes the front and joins in, I let out a huff, giving up, I roll onto the floor off his back in a beautiful fashion, rendering myself breathless from the effort, more than happy to let them take over.
Rolling onto all fours, feeling the grass dig into my knees, I lean back onto my legs and let out a wheeze.
“Y’all are getting too old for this!” Colter shouts from the patio.
“You’re getting too old in general!” Iris shoots back at him with a wink, still attacking Jake from the side of him.
I roll my eyes at her and snicker at her response, still trying to catch my breath.
What are we gonna do with those two?
Leaning back on my legs, I take a seat on the grass and the pile up is finishing, Jake admitting defeat, calling mercy and Ellie victorious with our help.
“Nice dive,” I hear, snapping my neck in the direction toward the voice. Maverick’s standing his tall frame over me, holding out a hand for me. I smile up at him. “Thanks, had plenty of practice.” Taking his hand as he pulls me to my feet, the bolt shooting its way up my hand at his touch.
I brush myself down and quickly rearrange my shirt that’s decided to ride up in the fight, showing my stomach.
I was never self-conscious about my body, but having Ellie took its toll, causing stretch marks and stubborn fat that no many how many Pilates session’s I attend, have helped.
Maverick watches me adjust the white flowing top back over my stomach in a hurry and gives me a look I’ve not seen for a while, concern sweeping over his face. “Mabel, you don’t...” he starts before I hear my mama call for me. I hear the crack in his voice.
“Hey, honey, give me a hand please?” She shouts down from the porch. I look from my mama and back at Maverick. I shrug at him.
“Sorry, duty calls.” I shrug out before walking around him and heading back up to the porch, still adjusting my top so no one needs to see the part that I hate about myself most. And I run away from whatever he was about to say.