Chapter 22
Twenty-two
Maverick
Being back around the people that I’ve called my family for so long, warmed the ache in my heart I’d been feeling since the day I walked away.
Singing with my brother again brought me peace that I never knew was possible.
Hearing Mabel sing with my brother, like she used to do with me all those years ago, brought a tear to my eye and a fire back into my soul.
As I look down at Ellie, who I’m spinning around the makeshift dance floor as her mama and my brother sing the lyrics to Morgan Wallen ft Post Malone – I had some help, I can’t stop myself from smiling wide and laughing back at the memories that I knew they’re singing about.
Growing up, this group was always together.
We were one gang, and one family.
The song couldn’t have been more perfect for us. We certainly had some help in any form of trouble we would get ourselves into. No matter the prank, or terrible situation each of us found ourselves in, we’d had some help with these people who dance next to me and around me.
Watching Mabel sing with my brother about the lands and legacy our parents are giving us, the guilt I feel is unimaginable. But when she held her gaze to mine, face completely unfazed by what she’s doing, that’s when my heart shatters all over again.
I know what she’s doing, an attempt to make me feel the burden that I left behind all those years ago, although what Mabel doesn’t realise, is that burden never left me and I have to tell her that, but I’m struggling to find the right words, or the moment.
As her face softens during the song, my eyes lock in with hers, the pain still flowing through them. I also see the heat, the fire burning behind the pain in her eyes.
I watch her squirm in her seat as she eye-fucks me from across the campfire. The blood instantly rushes down to my cock, and I feel how hard it’s trying to break free through my jeans.
Fuck.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard.
Keeping my eyes locked firmly on hers, admiring her with a stern look on my face as she sung, the pre-cum leaving the tip of my cock and straight against my boxer-shorts. My cock painfully pushing to be let free and near her.
Ellie once again comes in between the tension that we both clearly housed, pulling Mabel’s eyes off mine and I let out a quiet sigh of relief; If she continues to stare me down like this, I won’t be able to control myself.
My erection hard and painful. If I thought with my dick, I’d have marched straight over there, picked her up from the chair she’s sitting in, wrapping her legs around my waist, I’d take her far away from the group of people that surrounded us.
I’d carry her back to our house that she decided to create, fuck her pretty little cunt, making her scream my name until her voice gave out.
I’d hold onto her, in her bed which would become ours and refuse to let go, but I can’t do that, no matter how much I want to.
I can’t just pick her up and throw her over my shoulder like I used to, taking her away which she always would willingly do; the memories come flooding back of our last Fourth of July together before I left.
We both rode out to our field on Dusty, where we made love for what felt like hours underneath the light that was the stars and fireflies that surrounded us.
And I can’t do that again with her, because of my fucked-up mistake…
The hard truth that I bestowed upon myself made my dick relax back into its normal position and I rearrange myself whilst I’m sure no one’s looking. After a few more songs that I decide to sing along with my brother, Wyatt announces that he’s taking a very tired looking Ellie up to bed.
I hang back, as Ellie makes her rounds around those still sitting at the campfire until she reaches me.
“Mr Maverick...” she starts, and my attention diverts fully on her.
“Would you read me a bedtime story?” she asks, head leaning to one side, and I’m completely taken aback by her question.
I look around to where my brother is resting with his guitar across his knee. He runs his hand through his hair as he looks towards Mabel, who’s standing with shock written across her face.
My eyes meet hers; I feel like this is crossing a lot of boundaries that we both couldn’t have imagined that we’d ever be crossing.
I look to her, eyes locking firmly on her and she lets out a sigh, slumping her shoulders before nodding her head up and down at me as a go ahead to her daughters innocent question.
My eyes look back towards Ellie’s. “Sure thing, little lady,” I say, before leaning forward with my hands on my knees and standing with ease. Ellie slips her small hand into mine before leading me away from the firepit and up towards the main house.
I look over my shoulder back towards Mabel who stood with her arms wrapped around her body. I watch my brother walk over to her and wrap his arm around her shoulder; I realise that this small innocent thing really means something to her, and I need the trust behind that.
I pull my eyeline back down to Ellie who has a huge smile across her face, even as she let out a yawn.
****
Standing uncomfortably inside the main house, in Mabel’s old bedroom of all places in the dark, I try my best to look around at the new décor that housed it.
The walls are now bright pink, whereas before they were white old oak coloured furniture replaced with a modern white feel.
Pictures of the wild west and horses aligned the room, whereas I remembered the walls covered in pictures of us and the gang; mainly pictures of me and her.
Ellie goes over to her small bookshelf that’s next to her bed and pulls one off the shelf, before making herself comfortable in her bed. I stand in the same position, unsure of what to do in this situation.
My eyes look from the floor back towards Ellie, who’s eyes are looking at me with wonder; her mama’s eyes.
She lifts the book out to me as I hold my breath and walk towards her, hands in my pocket, feeling unbelievably sheepish.
Leaning down next to her bedside onto my knees, I take the book from her hands and scan the cover.
Beauty and the beast.
Mabel’s favourite when we were kids.
I’ve not read this book since I’d read it to her when we were young; hell, before I left, I gifted her a special addition that took me forever to save up for.
I look up from the cover and then back up towards the little girl who was eagerly awaiting to hear the words of the story from me, like her mama had done all those years ago.
I open my mouth to say something, but automatically close it again, pulling my hand up towards my neck to lean onto it for some form of support from far too many memories smacking me straight in the face.
“This is my Mama’s favourite,” I hear, pulling my eyes up from the cover of the book and from the memories that was causing my throat to dry out like the desert.
“That so huh?” I ask back, trying hard not to let my emotions show from seeing the book again. Ellie only but nods to my question.
Holding the book in my hands, still running my thumbs along the binding, my leg shaking and my breathing becoming faster.
Fuck. Now is not the time for a panic attack.
As I try to steady my breathing without Ellie noticing, I turn the first page with shaky hands, trying to control my breathing.
“Mr Maverick, can I ask you a question?” Ellie says with her eyes open wide, leaning into her pillow, whilst pulling her cover under her arms.
“Sure thing, Sweetheart,” I reply, placing the book between my two hands to hold the page open.
“Do you have eyes for my Mama?” she asks so bluntly that I’m completely taken back by her question.
“I, uh... I,” I manage to fumble out; how in the hell am I going to answer this?
My throat gets even dryer, and I start to cough, not knowing when it might stop. The wheeze coming from deep within, but I can’t stop it.
“Well, I think you do.” Ellie beams brightly at me. I knew if I’d a drink in my mouth, it could’ve been spat out at the question.
“I think my Mama has eyes for you.” Ellie finishes so casually.
I look back at the little girl who lay snug in her bed, the same one who asked me to read her a story, and I let myself relax at her sight.
She should have been my little girl.
I should have been her daddy.
I lean in towards her and start to stoke her hair with my hand. A smile creeps across her tired little face.
“It’s complicated.” I manage out in a whisper.
“Maybe, but my mom deserves to be happy,” Ellie sighs out before closing her eyes, leaning her head into my hand. I let out a sigh.
She’s right, her mama deserves the world.
And I sure as shit want to give it to her alongside this beautiful little girl that my heart’s slowly attaching itself too.
“I agree, little lady.” I smile down at her, wondering how she ended up with a wise head on such little shoulders.
****
Walking back out of the main house and towards the firepit, my mind racing with what Ellie said to me moments ago.
It baffles me that somehow that little girl knew there’s something between me and her mom and she wasn’t afraid to say it. She’s not afraid of me coming into her life.
It’s like she’s willing for it to happen.
I see the fire burning in front of me as I walk towards it, still breathless from the experience I shared with the mini-Mabel that I’d always dreamed about. I hear a guitar still being played, however no singing.
Reaching the group, Colter, Jake, Hope and Luke welcome me back. Iris sound asleep on Colters lap, and I smirk at the pair of them; our parents no longer around the fire.
I move my eyes between them all looking for my girl. My body must be betraying me because I catch Hope watching me with her big brown eyes.
Panic sets in when Mabel’s nowhere to be seen. I watch Hope nudge Colter, who looks up from a sleeping Iris to me.
“She’s not here, buddy,” he says, leaning back into both of his arms.
Jake looks up from the strings that he’s playing and into my direction.
My eyes narrow in confusion. “She does this every year...” Jake starts, leaning his body weight into his guitar and I shift my stance, my breathing becoming rapid once again.
“She takes Dusty...” Hope starts to speak, but then it clicks in my head where she would’ve gone, where she continues to go every year, even though I was gone.
Nothing’s changed.
She still goes.
I look back at my best friend and her brother. “Can I borrow a horse?” I ask, knowing full well I’m going to take one regardless of the answer.
Colter smirks underneath his hat.
“Go get her, Cowboy,” he says with a nod. “Just don’t touch, Stallion,” I hear Colter shout a warning behind me, but I’m no longer listening to reason.
I’ll ride that motherfucker just to get to her.
I’ll ride the wildest horse just to make sure she’s safe.
And then, I turn, faster than lightening, bolting towards the barn.
I fucking run.
Faster than I ever remember doing.
Faster than I probably ever would.
I need to get to her.