Chapter 19 Grace
Grace
Iexpect to be nervous as I get ready to go to Johnson’s. I’m not, though.
I’m filled with hope.
Don’t get too far ahead of things, I tell myself…
Except, he keeps showing he means it when he says he’s interested in me.
He’s kept in touch even when football should be his main focus.
He’s been transparent that the Landon dynamic is the only thing holding him back.
And now he wants to figure out a way past that.
I believe him.
And from that foundation, my hope for a real chance to explore whatever this is between us has started to bloom.
As I step up to the front porch of his house, the door swings open, and there he is.
“Hi, Grace.” A wide grin on his face is evidence that he’s as excited for the promise of tonight as I am. “I saw you in the Ring camera and didn’t want to make you wait.”
“What a good host,” I tease.
Studying him, I see he’s not wearing athletic gear for the first time I can remember. A royal blue button-down hugs his strong shoulders, and on the bottom, he’s wearing a classic pair of khakis.
“Am I underdressed?” I have on a short, pink cotton sundress.
He admires me for a moment, his eyes roving up and down. “You look beautiful, as always. I wanted to dress up for you, like a normal guy spending time with a girl, for once.”
He gestures for me to come into the hallway, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him grab something off the side table.
“I got these for you.”
I turn back around and oh, Johnson has two dozen yellow long-stem roses in his hand.
“Wow, they’re gorgeous.” I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice. No one has ever gotten me flowers before.
“I read on Google that yellow flowers can signify fresh starts, or new relationships,” he explains. “Also, it’s your color, at least to me. Golden.”
“I didn’t—you really didn’t need to do all of this for me, Johnson. But thank you.”
The curve of his mouth turns up, and his brown eyes flare with some combination of affection and vulnerability.
And now I’m melting simply from the way he’s looking at me.
Standing here together, with him only a couple of feet away, I suddenly feel self-conscious. Should we kiss hello? I mean, we did kiss the other night.
He doesn’t make a move though, and I’m definitely not going to. Instead, he gestures towards the back of his house.
“I made us dinner, if you’re hungry?” I nod and we start walking. When we reach his kitchen area, there are a couple of pots on the stove.
He walks over to stir the larger one. “Spaghetti and meatballs, my mom’s recipe. Does that work? I should have asked you what you like to eat.”
“That sounds great! I’m not picky. Did you make it yourself?”
He nods. “I did. I’m not a good cook, but I can follow a recipe.”
“Well, that’s better than me. I usually do grocery store sushi or make a big salad if I’m not at Landon’s.”
Looking satisfied at the state of the pots, he begins to grab plates for us. “So did you have school today?”
Placing my keys and the flowers on the far side of the kitchen island, I sit down on a stool, feeling awkward just standing and watching him.
“No, I have this week off, which I needed so badly. We start the fall semester next week.”
He puts down two full plates on the island, pushing one in my direction. “Do you want to eat here or sit down at the table?”
Sitting down at his dining table seems like it would inject an air of formality into the evening, which doesn’t feel right.
“I am good eating here.” I smile at him. “This looks really tasty.” And it does. The sauce appears to include fresh vegetables and the meatballs are hearty, with some seasoning giving them dimension.
“So what are you going to do with your week off?” he asks before taking a bite.
“Read. Run. Rest.” I laugh. “That may not sound like the most fun to you, but it’s my dream.”
“Oh, it sounds pretty nice.” He grins at me. “What kind of books?”
Oh shoot, I don’t know how he’s going to react to my fun romance stack. But I decide to be honest.
“Romance books. There were several new releases last month, and I fell behind because I was so busy.”
If he’s surprised, he doesn’t act it. Instead, he finishes his bite, giving me space to continue.
“My brothers tease me about them, but they give my brain a break, you know?”
“I want to hear about your favorite tropes.”
Wait, what? I’m the one surprised now.
He notices my reaction and explains, smiling. “When I was in Alabama, I got an earful from Lainie and her friends about their books.”
Ah, got it. “Well, the fact that you ask that question seriously means you’re probably a more supportive brother than mine when it comes to your sister’s reading habits.”
I mean it as a joke, but his reply is earnest.
“I’m serious. I do want to know.” He studies me intently. “I want to know all things Grace Battle.”
It takes me a moment to process his words, but when I do…I’m overwhelmed. No one has ever said anything like this to me before. About me before.
“Johnson—”
“Too early in the night to go there?” He looks half amused, half sheepish.
If I’m being honest, sitting in my uncertain hope about tonight doesn’t sound appealing. I don’t mind ripping off the bandaid now.
“No.” I shake my head. “But has anything changed from the last time I was here?” I take a bite to distract myself from the nerves of how he may answer.
He pushes his own plate to the side, resting his fork on a napkin. He then puts his palms down on the kitchen island, meeting my eyes while he answers.
“Yes, it has for me.”
“How—”
He slides his palms forward an inch. “I—It did something to me once I realized you were interested too. I spent the last few weeks trying to block this whole situation out, not wanting to rock the boat with Landon or the team.”
He looks off to the side for a moment before recapturing eye contact. “There’s no blocking you out, Grace. Not when I know you’re open to seeing what’s between us too. Now, all I can think about is getting to know you better, and when I can see you next.”
His words cause my senses to flood. The honesty, the longing in his voice—it’s nothing I’ve ever experienced with a man before.
But some doubt lingers.
“I’m…I definitely would like that. How does that work with all the things you mentioned about Landon?”
His eyes sharpen, like he’s about to try to pitch something to me. And he does, in a way.
“I have an idea on how to handle that right now. So let me say first, I have zero interest in what Landon’s worried about, a quick one-night thing or whatever. Ever since we met, Grace, I’ve been drawn to you. You’re gorgeous, smart, strong—and I can’t wait to spend more time together.”
I’m terrible at accepting compliments, but something about Johnson’s conviction connects. His praise is like a rush of warmth that weaves around my body.
“Still, I think we can both guess that Landon wouldn’t be chill about us starting to date.
It may make it really hard to explore things.
So this is what I’m thinking. What if we go on some dates, quietly getting to know each other better, see how we feel…
and if it’s going the way I hope, get our relationship on solid ground before we tell him. ”
“Okay, so basically we won’t tell anyone what’s going on? Hide it?”
He sighs. “I hate that part. But yes, at least hide it for a little while. That way, if we decide not to pursue more, we can end things without others involved. I don’t think that will be the way this goes, to be honest. Still, I like the idea of having a window where only the two of us are in this.
Then we can tell everyone, including Landon, when the time is right. ”
What Johnson doesn’t realize is that keeping things quiet in the early stages is more my speed anyways. The last thing I want is for my family—my mom even more so than Landon—to be micro-analyzing my relationship, especially when it’s new.
However, I don’t love having to hide this from Landon, starting with the fact it’s going to be difficult to pull off. Though with it being football season, maybe less so, as he’ll be plenty distracted. Also, now he has Rori to spend time with because her tennis season winds down soon.
More importantly, I’m wary of the time when we’d tell Landon that we’ve been keeping this from him.
The news could go over badly. Because of our parents’ selfish, toxic behavior, Landon’s sensitivity to forms of betrayal is heightened.
It’s one of the reasons he hasn’t put himself out there before Rori, not wanting to get hurt by misplacing his trust in someone.
Rationally, though, I know he’d get over it eventually, especially if we carefully explain our reasons.
Counterbalancing my sisterly obligations is the fact that my love life has been so much of a bust that I’m also simply excited to try this with Johnson. The previous guys I dated were just so meh, and something was missing on one or both sides.
With Johnson, our connection, our attraction—they’re already mutual, already laid bare. If anything, he’s been more forthcoming than I have on those fronts.
Still, I have questions. One big question anyway.
My chest is tight as I ask the last concern holding me back.
“Would we date other people?” In other words, would he?
“No way.” His forehead crinkles. “I mean no, if you are okay with that. I can say with confidence that you’re the only woman I’m interested in.”
My last reservation fades away.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” A smile blossoms on his face, which I can’t help but reciprocate.
“I want to try, Johnson. Everything you’ve described…I feel the same way.”
His eyes light up brighter at my confession, and then he starts coming around the island. “Can I give you a hug?”
I laugh. “I don’t think you have to ask anymore. I’m one-hundred percent in for hugs, anytime.”
He doesn’t reply except by taking me in his arms, his big strong limbs creating a safe haven for me to enjoy our unfiltered excitement. To embrace the emotions he’s evoking in me.
“You won’t regret this, golden girl,” he whispers in my ear before kissing my forehead.
I giggle as I look up at him. “Another nickname?”
“I think we’re going to retire ‘Little Battle.’ I don’t need that reminder anymore. Instead, I’m going with ‘golden girl.’ No, actually, Goldie.”