Chapter 22
RUSH
The waiting room at the clinic is too quiet. I hate hospitals, hate anything that reminds me of being out of control. Everly's sitting beside me. Her leg is bouncing and I can tell she's nervous.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah, just anxious."
"About what?"
"Everything. What if something's wrong? What if there's no heartbeat?"
I take her hand. "Then we deal with it, but nothing's going to be wrong."
"You don't know that."
"No, but worrying about it isn't going to help."
She leans into me and I wrap my arm around her shoulders. We've been here for twenty minutes waiting for her name to be called. Twenty minutes of me trying not to think about all the ways this could go wrong.
"Everly Lynn?" A tech appears in the doorway.
We stand and follow her down a hallway to a small exam room. The tech explains what's going to happen, Everly changes into a gown, and then we're waiting again. I sit in the chair beside the exam table and hold Everly's hand.
"You're tense," she says.
"I'm fine."
"Rush, your jaw is so tight it looks like it's going to crack."
I force myself to relax slightly. "Sorry."
"It's okay to be nervous."
"I'm not nervous."
"Liar."
The tech comes back with the ultrasound machine and I watch as she sets everything up. Everly lies back and the tech squirts gel on her stomach.
"This is going to be cold," the tech says.
She presses the wand against Everly's stomach and the screen lights up with grainy black and white images. I have no idea what I'm looking at. Then the tech adjusts something and suddenly there's a rapid thumping sound filling the room.
"That's the heartbeat," the tech says with a smile.
The sound hits me like a freight train. That's our baby. That rapid thumping is our baby's heart. I stare at the screen and the tech points to a small shape.
"There's your baby," she says.
It's tiny, barely more than a blob on the screen, but it's there, real and alive and growing inside Everly.
Something breaks open in my chest, something I didn't know was locked.
I've felt adrenaline before, the rush of a fight, the relief of making it through something hard.
I've felt lust and anger and fear. But I've never felt this.
This overwhelming wave of pure happiness that makes my eyes sting and my chest so tight I can barely breathe.
I look at Everly and she's crying, her hand pressed to her mouth as she stares at the screen.
"You're measuring at nine weeks," the tech says. "Everything looks good, strong heartbeat, good development."
Nine weeks. I do the mental math quickly.
This baby was already growing when I was spiraling about being too broken, when I was convinced I'd fuck everything up.
This baby existed when I was still trying to protect Everly from myself, and now I'm sitting here watching their heart beat on a screen, feeling something I've never felt before.
Hope; real, solid hope for the future.
The tech prints out pictures and hands them to us, then leaves us alone to get dressed. Everly's still crying and I pull her against me.
"We're having a baby," she says.
"Yeah, we are."
"Did you see the heartbeat?"
"Yeah, I saw it."
"Rush, that's our baby."
I kiss the top of her head. "I know."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm more than okay."
She pulls back and looks at me. "You're smiling."
"Am I?"
"Yeah. I've never seen you smile like that."
I touch her face. "That's because I've never been this happy before."
Her eyes fill with tears again. "Really?"
"Really. Seeing that heartbeat, knowing our baby is okay, it's the best thing I've ever experienced."
"Better than sex?"
"Way better than sex."
She laughs and kisses me. "I love you."
"I love you too."
We're back at Everly's flat a few hours later and she's looking at the ultrasound pictures again.
"We need to tell my dad," she says.
My stomach tightens. "Yeah."
"I want to call him before anyone else finds out."
"Okay."
"Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah, he's your dad. You should tell him."
She sits down on the couch and I sit beside her, pull her against my side. She dials Diesel's number and puts it on speaker.
He answers on the second ring. "Everly."
"Hey Dad."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"Then why are you calling in the middle of the day?"
"Because I need to tell you something."
There's a pause. "I'm listening."
Everly takes a breath. "I'm pregnant."
The silence on the other end is deafening. I can hear Diesel breathing, can imagine his face right now.
"How far along?" he asks finally. His voice is controlled but tight.
"Nine weeks."
"And you're keeping it?"
"Yes."
Another pause, longer this time.
"Are you okay?" Diesel asks. "Are you safe? Is Rush treating you right?"
"Dad, I'm fine. Rush is treating me perfectly."
"Put him on."
Everly looks at me and I take the phone.
"Diesel," I say.
"You planning on marrying my daughter?"
The question catches me off guard. "Eventually, yeah."
"Eventually's not good enough."
"With all due respect, Everly and I will decide when we get married, not you."
"She's pregnant with your kid."
"I know. I was at the appointment this morning. I heard the heartbeat."
That seems to surprise him. "You went to the appointment?"
"Of course I went. Why wouldn't I?"
He's quiet for a second. "Most guys don't."
"I'm not most guys."
"No, you're not." He sighs. "Everly, you still there?"
"Yeah, Dad."
"If you need anything, anything at all, you call me. No matter what time, no matter what's happening. You understand?"
"I understand."
"And Rush?"
"Yeah?"
"If you hurt her or that baby, if you make her regret choosing you, I will destroy you. Are we clear?"
"Crystal."
"Good."
He hangs up and Everly takes the phone back.
"That went better than expected," she says.
"He threatened to destroy me."
"Yeah, but he didn't yell. That's progress."
I almost smile. "Your standards are low."
"My dad's standards are impossible, so yeah, my standards are adjusted accordingly."
She curls against me and I wrap my arm around her.
"He didn't approve," I say.
"No, but he accepted it. That's the best we're going to get right now."
"And you're okay with that?"
"Yeah, because I don't need his approval. I just need him to not actively try to sabotage us."
"Fair enough."
We sit there in silence and I think about Diesel's question.
Am I planning on marrying Everly? Yeah, I am, eventually, when the time is right and when I can afford a ring that's worthy of her. But that's a conversation for another day.
We arrive at the clubhouse that evening and the atmosphere is normal—bikes parked out front, music coming from inside, laughter and noise. Everly's nervous. I can tell by the way she's gripping my hand.
"You ready?" I ask.
"Yeah, let's do this."
We walk inside and heads turn. People notice us.
Tank sees us first and grins. "Well, look who showed up."
"We need to talk to everyone," I say.
"Sounds serious. You good?"
"Yeah, just need everyone together."
Pyro appears from the back. "What's going on?"
"Can you get everyone in here?"
"Yeah, give me a minute."
He disappears and comes back with the rest of the guys. The old ladies filter in too. When everyone's gathered I clear my throat.
"Everly and I have some news," I say.
The room goes quiet. Everyone's watching us.
I look at Everly and she nods.
"We're having a baby," I say.
There's a beat of shocked silence, then Gráinne squeals and rushes over to hug Everly. Chloe's right behind her, then Ailbhe and Caoimhe. The guys are grinning. Tank claps me on the shoulder so hard I almost stumble.
"Congratulations, brother," he says.
"Thanks."
Bozo shakes my hand. "Didn't think you had it in you."
"Fuck off."
Pyro walks over and his expression is serious. "You good?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
"You ready for this?"
"Terrified but ready."
He almost smiles. "That's the right answer."
The congratulations keep coming, people hugging Everly, shaking my hand, offering advice I'm not ready to hear yet. It feels overwhelming but in a good way, like we're being folded into the family in a way we weren't before.
This makes it real in a different way than the ultrasound did. This is the brotherhood accepting us as parents, as a family unit.
Then I see Ciara. She's in the corner near the pool table, watching everything with a dark expression. Everyone else is celebrating but she looks furious. The contrast is stark, everyone's warmth versus her cold anger.
I let Everly enjoy the congratulations for a while longer, stay close but don't smother her. She's laughing with the old ladies, one hand unconsciously on her stomach. She looks happy, genuinely happy.
And I'm not going to let Ciara ruin that.
When the initial excitement dies down, I make my move. I walk over to where Ciara's standing and she sees me coming.
"Rush," she says with a forced smile. "Congratulations."
"We need to talk."
"About what?"
"Outside."
Her smile falters. "I don't think—"
"Now."
I walk outside and she follows, her heels clicking on the pavement. We stop in the parking lot away from anyone who might overhear.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" I ask. My voice is controlled but cold.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You cornered Everly and told her I never wanted kids, that I despise women who trap men."
"I was just trying to help—"
"Bullshit. You were trying to poison her against me."
"Rush, I care about you and I was worried—"
"You don't get to do that," I cut her off. "You don't get to use my past against me, you don't get to manipulate Everly, you don't get to interfere in my relationship."
"I wasn't trying to interfere. I was just being honest."
"No, you were being cruel, and you crossed a line."
She steps closer. "I've been your friend for two years. I know you better than she does."
"You don't know me at all, Ciara. You know the version of me I showed you because I didn't trust you with the real version."