Chapter 11 #2
Savi had accepted it a couple of years into their relationship, but it was playing on her mind more and more as time went on.
It wasn’t the case that she desperately wanted marriage and a family and four walls to call hers, but what if she reached a point in her life where she had to choose between that, and him?
‘Hey, I need to get going. I’ve got to give my brother a call. I promised. He’s got a doctors’ appointment today and he wanted to hear my voice before he goes.’
‘Okay, give him my best. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.’
‘Uh, yeah. Will do… Bye.’ Now who was avoiding the L word?
She leaned her head back and gazed up at the dull grey sky, watching the clouds drift across and letting herself momentarily forget who she was and where she was before she came back to reality. She needed to call Weston. Not just for his sake, but for hers, too. He was her anchor.
‘About time! I’m leaving in twenty minutes!’ Weston berated her for her timing, forgetting that she had always struggled to stay on top of their time differences wherever she was in the world. ‘Let me guess, you were talking to the rock star?’
‘I was.’ She rolled her eyes at his nickname for his sort-of brother-in-law. ‘You excited about your appointment?’
‘Why would I be excited to have a doctor lift me in and out of my chair and be stared at like I’m some sort of animal?’ he bit out.
‘Alright, misery guts. First of all, you know you’re only being stared at because the ladies at the doctor’s office all have a crush on you and want your autograph which you refuse to give them.
Second of all, you’re being lifted in and out of your chair because you’re getting a brand spanking new one with loads of cool features.
You’re gonna be the new Lightning McQueen in no time,’ she teased, knowing he was super strict about the speed people pushed his wheelchair at.
She had once let him roll down a slope out by the barns and he’d screamed the whole time.
‘I will be driving the thing slowly . And none of you can take over because I’ve got control of this one at all times.’
‘No drunk driving.’
Savi had used some of her money from her contract signing to gift him a new wheelchair which was a lot more comfortable and convenient for him.
He had complained for days about not wanting to take her money, until she’d told him it was either that or she paid for an extension on the main house, so he had his own space.
That was a lot more expensive than the chair, so he’d shut up and accepted her generosity.
‘When are you coming home so I can annoy you in person? It’s not the same over the phone, for example, I can’t crash into you or run your foot over when you piss me off.’
‘Thanks, Wes. I’m so lucky to have you as my big brother.
’ She recalled the last time she visited when she told him he was being a baby for ignoring an invitation to go out with his old friends, and he’d literally wheeled away and faced the wall, refusing to speak to her.
They still fought like kids, and they drove each other insane, but their bond was stronger than ever since his accident.
‘I’m lucky to have you as my kid sister, too.
I mean that. I don’t thank you often and I don’t want you to think I’m not appreciative, but Savi…
I couldn’t do this without you. You take care of me in so many ways even when you’re so far away, even down to reminding me to take my medication and arranging my appointments on my behalf.
You took so much on when I had my accident, and I’m so proud of you. ’
‘Okay, now is not the time to be mushy. Also, it doesn’t suit you. I prefer it when you bully me, it feels more natural. But thank you, seriously. You’re my best friend, Weston.’
‘I won’t be saying anything nice for the next three hundred and sixty-five days, you have reached your quota for the year.’
‘Go to your appointment. And give the doctor’s office ladies their autograph! Maybe even dig out an old charity rodeo calendar for them. Bet they’d love to hang that up.’
‘Never in a million years. Bye, loser.’
‘Bye, idiot.’
She hung up and headed to a nearby café for her final caffeine intake of the day.
The team were heading out for dinner later, the Jensen-Moretz twins in tow, and she would be switching to cocktails for the evening.
Her last team hadn’t been close-knit in the slightest, and she had spent many evenings alone in her hotel room with room service.
She loved Revolution Racing’s way of doing things.
Together. Like a family. It made being away from Wyoming a little less heavy on her heart.
She was seated outside a cute little bakery when a group of fans spotted her and asked for photos and autographs, and she was halfway through her latte when said group tripled in size.
It was too much. Savi never had to deal with situations like this alone, she always had a teammate or someone with her, and now with the Marco thing, she felt like a circus animal.
They all had questions and opinions, and they weren’t shy about getting in her face.
It was the girl who took a seat at her table who sent her over the edge, and she could feel the panic starting to rise in her chest, threatening to take over.
If she left, she would be viewed as rude. Her fans would think she didn’t appreciate them. If she stayed, it was only going to get more awkward and intense, and she was going to have an anxiety attack in public. This was the last thing she wanted.
They continued to swarm around her like bees and she continued to choke out responses and fake smiles for them all, praying at least one of them would get the hint, but they were all getting too carried away with themselves.
She got it. They’d travelled miles for the race and here was one of the drivers, sitting here casually enjoying a coffee on her own.
What could they possibly be interrupting other than her peace and quiet and her sanity?
Right when her eyes pricked with tears, two familiar faces appeared amongst the crowd of strangers.
Marco and Julien. Her knights in shining armour, who caused quite a stir themselves.
The crowd parted like the Red Sea to let them through, fans going from merely invasive to full-on screaming and thrusting their phones at them for photos.
‘Savi, what are you still doing here? We’ve gotta go, urgent meeting.’ Julien picked her bag up off the floor and held it out to her, and she took it gratefully.
‘If we hurry, we can make it.’ Marco rushed her out of there, his hand placed on the small of her back. ‘Deep breaths, you’ve got this,’ he murmured.
‘Everyone step back, please!’ Julien called out. ‘Sorry, we don’t have time to stop. Thank you all for being here this weekend and for the support.’
As her teammates walked her back to the safety of the hotel, she couldn’t stop the panicky feeling from overruling all sense of reality.
Her whole team was going to know this was something she had to deal with, and she was embarrassed about it.
Brett may have been ready to open up about his own struggles, but he’d earned enough respect from the world over his more than a decade-long career for his voice to be heard. Savi wasn’t quite there yet.
‘I’m gonna come hang out in your room for a bit, just until I know you’re okay.’ Marco buzzed them up to the sixth floor and took her bag from her, fumbling around until he found her key card.
‘Let me know if you need anything. I’m right down the hall, Savi.’ Julien disappeared while Marco and Savi headed to her room in silence. Aside from her heavy breathing.
‘This is so embarrassing,’ she mumbled.
‘Hey…’ He placed a hand on her arm, stopping her outside her door. ‘No, it isn’t. It happens to the best of us. Nobody is immune to this kind of thing, Cowgirl.’
‘You?’ She blinked up at him.
‘From time to time, yes.’ Marco gave her a reassuring smile and scanned them into her room, ushering her in. ‘Take a seat, I’ll get you something to drink.’
Savi clambered onto the bed and hugged one of the spare pillows to her body, still trembling slightly and struggling to steady her breathing.
There wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. Her life had got so out of control so fast and there was no way to stop it now.
She was at a stage in her career where she had to constantly worry about being recognised everywhere she went in Europe, and it was all because of a man.
Two men. One of whom, thanks to their growing connection as teammates and friends, was willing to deal with the onslaught of attention, and one who cared for her enough that he was in no rush to put her in a position where that attention was crippling, so she couldn’t go anywhere or do anything across the globe without being criticised.
If she couldn’t handle this with Marco, how would she handle it with Jesse? They were on two opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to fame and popularity and Savi was too weak for any of it.
‘Here.’ Marco handed her a bottle of water straight from the mini fridge. ‘Got to hydrate, replace the liquid lost from those tears.’ He sat down on the edge of the bed and dabbed at her rosy cheeks with a tissue.
‘Sorry.’ She gulped down some of the icy cold liquid, finally feeling more human now she was in the comfort of the four walls she’d been calling home for the last eight days.
‘Don’t apologise. You feeling better?’
‘I think so,’ she nodded, batting his hand away. ‘I can wipe my own tears, Monaco.’
Marco laughed and handed her the tissue, his fingers brushing against hers so fast, if she wasn’t so hyper-aware of every sensation her body was feeling right now, she might have missed it.
Savi inhaled sharply. At some point, they had crossed a line from teammates to what could be a real, genuine friendship, rather than just one of circumstance.
Maybe it was because they had been thrown together in the most unlikely of circumstances, or maybe it was because Marco was warm and kind and he made Savi feel like she could let her walls down every now and then.
He was someone she could feel safe with when her whole world was being flipped upside down and she was thousands of miles from everyone she loved.
He had brought home to her. Plus, it helped that he kept calling her Cowgirl and liked learning about her life growing up on the ranch.
He had practically begged to visit and meet Mocha one day.
He hadn’t grown up around horses; the closest he’d gotten was a donkey ride in Greece, so Savi had told him regrettably that Mocha would be too much for him to handle.
If, and it was a strong if, he ever did visit her home in Wyoming, he’d be lumbered with Java.
He was smaller and calmer, and they used him to teach the local, more advanced kids.
‘We’ve still got a few hours until dinner.
Why don’t we watch a film? Unless… you want to call Jesse.
Or you just want me to leave. I don’t mind.
’ He looked at her like she was made of glass and she hated it.
Right now, it felt like she was. But Marco knew the fiery side of her, that had been his first impression of her when they were introduced and until now, was the only side of her he knew.
She didn’t want to lose that. This was a blip.
‘I’d like you to stay, only if you agree to a few alcoholic drinks from the mini fridge before we go out.
’ She gestured at the fridge which was tucked under a desk.
Why did so many hotel rooms have desks? She was sure the likes of Faith and Lucie used them when they disappeared to work on Girls Off Track and continue cementing the future of women in motorsport, but she’d rather do business in the restaurants and bars of hotels.
‘We’re going to have to order some room service wine, all they’ve got in there is champagne.’ He turned his nose up. ‘I’m sick of that stuff, I managed to inhale it through my nose at the last podium. Surprised the cameras didn’t catch me gagging.’
‘I’ll call down, then,’ she laughed. ‘Red or white? Or perhaps you’re a rosé kinda guy.’
‘Red it is,’ he chuckled. ‘But we’ll wait to drink it until your heart rate is back to normal, alcohol isn’t going to help your anxiety.’
‘My heart rate is just fine, see?’ She didn’t know what possessed her to do it, but she grabbed his hand and placed it on her chest, right over her heart.
It was only when his breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed nervously that she realised her breasts were exposed in the camisole she was wearing.
This wasn’t what friends did, and it was certainly crossing the line that Jesse had not yet drawn, but she had just felt so at ease, so comfortable in Marco’s presence, that she had momentarily forgotten he wasn’t Miko or Kodie or Esme.
He was her male teammate, her fake boyfriend, and her real one might well have punched him square in the face had he walked in and witnessed it.
‘Yeah, mine isn’t…’ he whispered. ‘Let’s watch that film.’
As Marco shuffled into his spot on the bed next to her, Savi tensed up, and in that same moment, her walls shot up sky high. She needed him to meet Jesse, see the love they shared, so she was certain he wouldn’t read into whatever the hell that was.