Chapter 33
Healing looked different for everyone. For some, it involved journaling, meditating and breath work, reducing the size of your social circle, throwing yourself into an intense gym routine and therapy.
Not for Savi. She had already integrated most of those things into her daily routine in high school.
The therapy had started after Weston’s accident, a necessary route to deal with her own trauma from almost losing him, spending months watching him lying in a hospital bed and then watching him navigate his new way of living in a cloud of fury.
She needed to do more. See more. They were at the very end of the race season with one more to go, and she had spent the last six weeks travelling with Marco, Kodie and Miko in between work trips to Shanghai, Fuji and Qatar.
They’d taken that girls’ trip to Tokyo, too, got a taste not only of Japanese culture but the life of Japanese billionaires.
Miko’s family were loaded, and Savi had been so blown away by every little thing that she hadn’t thought of Jesse once that whole time.
Then she’d got on the plane to go to the next destination and been left with too many hours in solitude to reflect and been back at square one.
Social media made healing look easy sometimes, like a straight line.
But it wasn’t. Her emotions could switch up in seconds, and she often found herself zoning out and staring into space, thinking about nothing in particular.
She liked those moments; the world felt still, more manageable, and she was numb to her pain.
Marco had taken a step back, allowing her the space to do what she needed to do and make sense of her emotions.
She hated that she required space from him of all people, but it was the nights she spent cuddled up with her teammates that allowed her to know with absolute certainty that Marco was not and never would be a rebound, because it was always Marco she wished she was waking up to the following morning.
And now here she was, doing exactly that, in the suite he’d booked for them in a Swedish spa, miles away from anyone. And at night, she felt miles away from her problems and her past and the only thing in the world that mattered was them.
‘You heard from Sapphire today?’ He sat down next to her, lowering his legs into the pool, the warm water rippling with the movement. They’d been here for days, pretending today wasn’t happening. Then this morning, it felt like someone had thrown a cold bucket of ice over them.
‘She’s got lawyers on standby, just in case Jesse tries to pull something. Not sure what exactly, but he’s going to feel like he’s being attacked from all sides so he’ll look for any defence he can. My own lawyers are prepared, too.’
‘Let’s hope he just owns what he’s done and never does it to anyone else.’ Marco sighed, rubbing his temple. ‘Want a drink before it all comes out?’ He offered her his bottle of beer.
‘Why are you drinking at this time of the morning?’ She raised an eyebrow.
‘Because I know hell is coming your way, and I don’t like it one bit.’
‘I’ll be fine, Mars. Worse things have happened.’
‘The news articles and social media comments are going to be brutal, Savannah.’
She tried not to laugh out loud, because he was right.
They would be. Savi was about to confess to the entire world that it was her in those photos from the cabin, in an article posted by a third-party organisation.
She was opening herself up to an onslaught of hate, sexist and misogynistic comments, all because her privacy being violated in the first place was wrong and staying silent didn’t sit right with her.
‘I know, but I’m ready for whatever they throw at me. ’
‘Are you going to let me read it now?’ He nudged her arm, staring at the phone she had been clutching all morning. It could blow up with notifications any second; the article was late going live. Something to do with last-minute checks by the lawyers.
‘Sure. Let me show you the proofs.’ She scrolled through her emails, finding the correct version. It had been thoroughly edited to ensure she didn’t say anything that could get her in trouble. Aside from the defamation case she suspected might be landing in her lap soon.
Peering over his shoulder, Savi started to read the article and tried to put herself in the shoes of the millions of other women this had happened to. Mothers, daughter, wives, sisters, friends. But photos being leaked wasn’t the only thing she had mentioned.
She’d also taken it as an opportunity to expose Jesse for who he really was, a liar and a cheat. Because she might not be the only one, and Sapphire might not be the only woman raising his child alone. She would be damned if he was going to be allowed to lie to anyone else.
‘The Woman with the Horseshoe Tattoo: An Exposé by Savi Hart.’ Marco read aloud, and then he sat quietly, soaking in every word she’d written.
I was recently the victim of a sex scandal and after months of hiding in the shadows, I’m ready to reveal my identity in the hopes that I can help anyone who has ever been in my position.
Earlier this year, I was staying in a cabin in Tennessee, with someone I had been in a relationship with for four years.
It was protected by a security team, but an individual got past them and decided that our privacy and dignity were less important than a decent pay day.
If I had known he were that desperate for money, I’d have written him a cheque myself.
You expect to be able to enjoy intimate moments with your partner in your own home without the risk of someone photographing you without your knowledge and selling those photos to the press.
I was embarrassed and ashamed, but recently I realised I have no need to be.
I didn’t do anything wrong. It was everyone else.
I was participating in a consensual, intimate act with someone I had loved deeply for four years, and it was the media who took advantage of that.
Not only was my dignity stripped away by that photographer and the media and everyone who was trying to find the woman in the photos, but I was also manipulated by country music megastar, Jesse Montalvo.
The man I loved and trusted. Little did I know, he had spent most of our relationship entertaining countless other women, not only betraying my trust but putting me at risk of sexually transmitted diseases and not once disclosing any of this to me.
Either I’m lucky or he was careful, but whichever it was, he is not the man I thought I loved.
A man who has fathered a child with another woman, and refuses to acknowledge his part in creating a life.
Jesse even persuaded me to enter into a fake relationship with my teammate, assuring me it would keep the press off the scent of my relationship with him and keep my identity under wraps.
He suggested we keep it up for a whole race season, long enough for the media circus surrounding the photos to die down.
If only I had realised he was trying to keep me off the scent of his own betrayals.
As a result of his actions coming to light, I have found a fire within me.
I’m ready to fight the consequences of the media’s actions with my family, friends and my team behind me, and I’m ready to reveal that the relationship with my teammate is now very much real.
I wasn’t sure if I should write this article, but I can no longer let those photographs dictate the way I live.
I also need other victims to know that someone else making an active choice to tear you down is no reflection on you.
I have chosen to no longer live in fear of being exposed as the woman in those photos.
I am the woman with the horseshoe tattoo, and I am taking my power back.
‘Thoughts?’ Savi frowned at his expression; he gave nothing away.
‘I think I want to kill everyone who ever shared those photos around, whether it was on news platforms or social media or groupchats…’ Marco’s jaw tensed and he gripped her phone, his knuckles turning white.
‘How can anyone do that to someone? I was angry before, but reading it all in your own words like that makes me furious.’
‘I’m with you.’ She pried her phone out of his hand. ‘Do you think Jesse is gonna be mad?’
‘Who gives a shit?’ He threw his hands up.
‘My lawyers.’
‘Valid point.’
‘I think Jasper is ready to unleash the Revolution Racing lawyers on him or anyone else who decides to take offence to this. Gabriel, too. They’re angry, defensive.
Protective of me, because the IEC is a family.
They want to throw all the power they’ve got at the situation, and don’t get me started on the Girls Off Track team.
They want me to do a podcast episode, and then lead a workshop about how to tackle sexual harassment in the workplace. ’
‘Has that ever happened to you in the workplace?’
‘Yeah, but not to the extreme that it had serious implications on my mental health. I’ve seen that happen before.
A mechanic from my last team would consistently touch me inappropriately when I was getting in and out of the car.
He was caught and fired, but that’s not the point.
He had normalised it in his own mind, and it was all kept hidden from the press to save face for the team.
I’ve witnessed worse, heard stories. It’s a very real issue that isn’t talked about unless it involves someone high up. ’
‘What can we do, as male drivers?’ he frowned.
‘I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed anything serious happen, but I guess it’s in the little things.
Subtle moments that we as men wouldn’t take notice of.
I remember in Faith’s first season, there was an issue with a driver at one of Julien’s parties.
He got too close to Faith when she was drunk, we made him back off. ’
‘That. That is what you can do as men. Call it out when you see it, listen to us when we tell our stories. That’s really all we can ask.
Being a woman in this industry is hard, even on the good days.
But also, the way female fans can treat male drivers sometimes is equally as abhorrent and we’ve all come to accept it as part of the culture. ’
‘I fucking hate the world.’ He lay down, his back flat against the wooden deck.
‘Me too.’ She patted his chest, ‘But come on, I want to turn my phone off and go for a spa treatment. Hide away from the real world again for an hour.’ She knew she would return to thousands of notifications, and she had already decided she wouldn’t be addressing any of them.
What needed to be said had been published, and although she would use her voice when needed or when asked, she would like to move forward.
‘Savannah…’ He sat up again, looking into her eyes with an intense gaze. It was like he was trying to hear everything she wasn’t saying. ‘I need you to tell me you’re okay.’
‘I can’t tell you that.’ She bit her lip, and he immediately pulled his legs out of the water, swivelling to face her. It was the first time she’d felt truly vulnerable around him.
‘I’m so sorry, Cowgirl.’ Marco’s eyes welled up with tears, and the vulnerability she had felt morphed into admiration for the man he was. It was no wonder she had always felt so safe around him, so at ease. So free to be herself. He made her feel seen.
‘It’s fine,’ she shrugged. ‘Well, it’s not fine. But I will be fine.’
Marco reached up to tenderly brush his fingers along her jawline, smiling softly as his brown eyes melded with her own. ‘You should be so proud of yourself. You’re not just a superstar, Cowgirl. You’re a fucking supernova.’