Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
MERCER
We stared down into the pit at the two bodies lying in the dirt. Their deaths were perfect timing, really. Any other time, we’d be going hours away to dispose of bodies. But with the construction of the new casino resort, we didn’t have to go far at all.
“What exactly is going here?” I asked Ace as the cement slowly ran into the pit, making wet, plopping sounds that were oddly satisfying. I could fall asleep to this sound.
“A fountain.” He nodded up at the crew, who were on our payroll, approving them to finish without us. “Probably dedicated to Adam’s father-in-law as a memorial after his disappearance.”
“The irony.” I laughed as I looked up at the sky. I cleared my throat. “It’s getting light out and it’s my turn to cook. Want to grab some coffee and donuts to take back for breakfast?”
“That doesn’t constitute as cooking, asshole. How is the baby going to get some nutrition from fucking donuts?” Ace took off his hard hat as we approached the car.
“I’ll cut her up some fruit and find a protein. That should even it out for her, right? I’m sure they probably sell, like, breakfast sandwiches, right? Maybe get one of those and she could eat a donut after?” I pondered it for a moment, then sighed. “You’re right. It was a dumb ass idea.”
“No. We’re getting donuts. She’ll love it,” Ace confirmed. “We’ll double up on the nutrition at lunchtime.”
Having us take watch of her was nice in some ways. It meant that if we chose to, one of us could have lunch with her every day. I doubt Adam ever did, and I don’t think Ace did often. But I took advantage of lunch with her every fucking time it was my watch.
It was my turn to drive, so when we got in the car, I went into autopilot, driving toward my favorite donut place. When we were on the road, I glanced at him in the passenger seat. “Any trouble last night?”
“Hardly.” He snorted. “Taking out a nest of mobsters had never been so easy.”
“They’ve gotten careless in their old age.” I turned left onto a quiet street. “What do you think this means for his men?”
“Someone is going to emerge as a leader. They’ll lose some men, gain some. The threat is unknown until it happens. We can’t even worry about it until we see movement.”
I grunted my agreement. “How did we go from keeping our heads low to this?”
“I can’t decide which I like better,” he admitted. “Vinnie is out of the picture. But the fact remains, Accardo’s grandbaby is under our roof. With his son dead, he might go to vast lengths to get that link back. He already started some sort of plan when he sent that video.”
Ace hadn’t seen the video until after Vinnie was already dead. Probably for the best, because if he had seen it, I was certain he would have killed the man before Adam got his hands on him. I’d never seen Ace so angry, so filled with uncontainable rage before. The only thing holding him together was that Bellamy was a room away, drifting in and out of sleep as she watched a movie. In Adam’s bed, of all places, which was information I wasn’t sure he knew how to process. Emotions rolled over Adam all night, and in the end, he left her there, insisting she stay, while also refusing to go to bed. Would it kill him to spend some time with her? Learn about her likes and dislikes and see what made her laugh?
I pulled to the curb in front of what I considered to be the world’s best donut shop. “How do you think we should head it off?”
“Accardo isn’t innocent of anything. In fact, he’s ruined our lives a million times over, and Adam is at his boiling point. He’s going to strike him hard, nonstop, break him to a point of no return. Force him to face him.” Ace was right, of course. The altercation was past due. Adam deserved his payback, and murdering his son was only a small chunk of what Adam had planned to make Accardo suffer.
“We’ve got a long few months ahead of us.” I pulled open the door, feeling a sense of inner peace swamp me at the innocent sound of a bell and the sight of the cheery old lady behind the counter.
Seeing me, she lit up, her smile wide as she came around the counter and grabbed my cheeks, giving them each a kiss before saying, “It’s been a long time, boy.”
I laughed. “May, I’m a man now. Not a boy. We’ve been over this.”
May shook her head and continued talking to me as she offered Ace the same treatment I had just gotten. “You’ll always be the shoeless little boy I remember.”
Inwardly, I cringed at the memory. It had been a long time since I walked around shoeless. It had been a long time since I was a child with nothing but the kindness of a lady to offer me sweet treats and the occasional hug I so desperately craved. “That was a long time ago.”
“Time is shorter than you think.” She waved a finger at us. “What can I get you today? On the house.”
“Over my dead body.” She scowled at me, and I held up my hands in surrender. “It’s a big order today.”
“Oh?” She wagged her brows. “More than you and your two brutes to feed?”
I rolled my eyes. May was always giving me shit. “Just one.”
“What does he want?” she asked, looking at her donuts and gesturing toward the display.
“I don’t know. She’s pregnant and I don’t know what she’s in the mood for.” I bent to look at the display when May gasped.
“Pregnant!” She clutched her chest, her whole body vibrating with excitement. Shit, what trouble did I cause myself? “You’re going to?—“
“No.” I laughed. “Absolutely not. I’m well versed in the practice of wrapping it up.”
She reached over the counter and thumped me, then turned her attention to Ace. “I hope that you?—“
He stopped her mid-sentence. “Hold on, Mama May.” She instantly went gooey over the nickname he had taken to calling her. “None of us are biologically its father. It’s complicated.”
Her brows pulled together. “Uncomplicate it.”
If only it was that simple. But there were so many layers of complication that went on in our life. To give her the full story of how we got here, with Adam married to an already pregnant girl, who happened to be the grandkid of his enemy… well… it was just fucking complicated.
I didn’t have to try to uncomplicate it. Ace did it for me, leaving her no room for further questions. “Our girl came to us just the way she is, and who are we to question it?” I didn’t miss her curious glance at the use of the word our. Then again, I too was giving him that glance. Ignoring both our looks, he changed the subject. “Merc got a dog.”
Her eyes lit up, excited about that piece of childhood I finally got to claim. She placed her palms firmly on the display case as she leaned over. “Where are the pictures?”
I took out my phone, not hesitating to show off my new pride and joy. But when I pulled up my photos, I realized not a single one was of Lady alone. Ace glanced at my screen, making a sound in his throat that I knew meant he was judging me, but what could I do about it now? It’s not often that Lady liked to be away from Bellamy.
“Well.” I cleared my throat. “The two ladies at the house are pretty inseparable. So this is Lady. The dog, I mean, her name is Lady.”
I held up the photo of the two girls in my life, hoping that May didn’t question it. I could never be so lucky. Her eyes flickered from the screen to my face and back again. “Is that her?”
“Define ‘her?’”
With a huff, May answered, “The girl. The one that needs the donuts.”
“Yep.” Ace popped the p, looking mighty proud of himself for speaking first. He enjoyed every second of my discomfort. “That’s Bellamy. Got your boy here wrapped around her little fingers.”
“That’s not true.” I’d deny it until the day I die before I admit to him, in front of May, that Bellamy could ask me to rob a bank at gunpoint, with no mask, in front of the police department, and I’d do it. I’d do anything she asked. Except she never asked for a damn thing. When May gave me the look, the one that said she wasn’t buying my bullshit lies, I continued to deny it. “It’s not, May.”
“If you say so. Your girls are beautiful. Does Lady want a donut too?”
“Of course. Lady eats literally anything she can get her mouth on.” I was glad for the change of subject. I didn’t want to acknowledge the feelings Ace’s statement brought up.
May took out the biggest box she sold, filling it to the brim with every type of donut she had. Then created some sort of specialty hot chocolate that had roasted marshmallows on the cup's rim, and peppermint sprinkles decorating the whipped cream, with strict instructions to not let anyone but Bellamy have it. She refused to let us pay. The old coot only seemed to have gotten more stubborn in her old age. She could refuse my cash all she wanted, but she couldn’t stop me from putting a stack of hundreds in her tip jar.
After another round of hugs, we said our goodbyes and were on the road back home just as shades of yellow and orange peeked into the sky.
I thought Bellamy would still be asleep when we got back, but I guess her time resting yesterday meant she’d be energized this morning, because the second we opened the door, Lady came bouncing toward us, happily jumping. Her sweet little voice echoed from the kitchen as she called the puppy. Lady didn’t listen of course and, in my mind, I could hear Adam growling, train her.
Are females ever really trainable?
I whistled to Lady, and she followed me as Ace and I headed toward the kitchen, where we knew we’d find Bellamy. Her back was turned to us when we entered, and though Lady frantically tried to warn her we were there, she didn’t turn once. Instead, she ordered Lady to settle down – the dog obeyed instantly – then continued cooking.
She was cooking breakfast. For us. My heart pounded as I watched her in the kitchen, talking to my dog like it was her only company. Beside me, Ace’s eyes were pinned to her too, his hand filled with her gourmet hot chocolate and his own cup of coffee.
“Little girls should be sleeping at this time of morning.” My voice made her jump and drop the spatula she held. She spun around so damn fast, holding her chest. “Did I scare you? I hadn’t meant to.”
“I- Shit.” Her eyes went wide as the curse fell from her lips. “Sorry, I hadn’t meant to curse.”
I smirked, and beside me, Ace did the same before speaking. “Honey, the sweetest words are sometimes the filthiest. We aren’t prudes.”
This time, it was her lips that tilted up. “I thought you were asleep, is all. I didn’t hear you wake.”
“Sleeping?” I laughed. “We haven’t even been to bed.” I stepped forward, laying the box on the counter. “Are you cooking breakfast?”
She looked around at the mess in the kitchen as I walked closer to her. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“We’re surprised,” Ace added.
“You’re making us breakfast,” I repeated, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. She never fed us, though I suspected she liked to cook. I stopped right in front of her before bending and placing both hands on the counter behind her, caging her in. “What are you making us, little girl?”
Her pulse pounded along her jaw and I fought every urge to bring my lips to the spot and suck it into my mouth, soothe the pulse with my tongue. “I- I- I’ve made sausage and eggs, bacon and French toast.”
“All my favorites,” I cooed as I closed my eyes for a moment, letting her honeyed scent encompass me.
“Really?”
“Only because you made it.” I forced myself to push back away from her, putting some space between us so that I didn’t do something stupid like kiss her. “We brought some donuts, but what you made sounds so much better.”
Her eyes lit up at the mention of donuts and she abandoned what she was doing to find the bubble gum pink box of confection. She lifted the lid. “There are so many.”
“Mercer thought you were hungry,” Ace joked, and I glared.
“There’s this lady named May. She used to give me free donuts as a kid when she saw me in her area.” Walking along the streets, alone, barefoot, starving. Though I didn’t think Bellamy needed to know that. “So I like to go back and visit her from time to time, see how she’s doing, make sure she’s taken care of. She heard you were staying with us and insisted we take these. I’m sure some of the guards will be happy to dig into these. Put some aside after breakfast and the rest, we’ll hand out.”
Ace thrusted the pure sugar concoction toward her. “Mama May also sent this for you. It’s hot chocolate.”
Her eyes sparkled as she repeated, “Mama May. Well, tell her thank you.”
She took hold of the drink and took a sip, coming up with white marshmallow fluff sticking to her lip. It was the cutest damn thing I’d seen. Ace reached up, his thumb pulling at her lip, wiping it free of the sticky substance and damn it, I was fucking jealous. I wish it was my fingers so close to her mouth that the slight move could have her pulling my thumb between those pillowy lips and sucking it.
Fuck. What the hell was I thinking? This was Adam’s wife.
At the thought of him, he appeared, clearing his throat as Ace pulled away from her. “I see everyone has gotten an early start today.”
He knew damn well we didn’t go to sleep last night. In fact, I doubt he did either. But Bellamy should have been sleeping still. Right on cue with my thoughts, she offered, “I slept a lot yesterday evening, and I wanted to surprise you all.”
She slept a lot. Her body probably needed it after the panic attack she had. And I had no problem lying on the massive bed next to her, feeling every inch of the foot and a half between us, watching her the whole time she watched movies. Not like she realized I was doing so. She was so engrossed as she buried herself deep into the blanket, with my dog lapping up the attention she gave with her hand idly petting Lady’s thick fur.
“Still, you need rest.” His tone was hard, more of a demand than a statement, but she didn’t waver for it.
“If you’re wondering, I’m not sorry.”
“Excuse me?” He blinked a few times.
“I know I should feel bad, right? I should care that I agreed to you murdering my father, right? I mean, that’s what normal people do, right? We care? Don’t we? But I felt nothing about it. I haven’t, I guess, for a long time, but that video… it … only sealed how I feel, you know, maybe gave me permission to feel it. So, do what you have to do. I’m okay with it.”
If only she knew it was done. We don’t waste time.
Adam nodded once. “We aren’t normal people, Belle. We don’t feel what others expect of us.”
“I- I think I know that. I guess, I don’t know, maybe it’s just hard to accept.” She fidgeted with the cup in her hand before she looked up, suddenly cheery. “I made breakfast, and the boys brought donuts.”
Boys. I snorted at the thought. We had been men for some damn time now and yet, twice, I’d been called a boy this morning. Are these women trying to injure us? Death by ego and confidence slaughter is not the way I’d like to go. Let me take a bullet, push a blade in the heart, poison me so my throat closes and I choke on my last breath. Give me the manliest death, Lord, if you're listening, just so I could prove to this girl that I am far from the boy she thinks I am.
“Oh?” Adam faked interest. “Breakfast.”
“It’s not much. I mean, I wanted to make more, but they came home and I, well, I thought they wouldn’t be up for a little longer but?—“
He cut off the cute little rambling she was doing. “It’s perfect, Belle. Thank you.”
She gestured to me. “He helped.”
“I brought donuts, babe. That isn’t helping. That’s me thinking it was my turn to cook and not realizing we had a gorgeous barefoot and pregnant girl in our kitchen, slaving away over our food.”
Her cheeks reddened to the prettiest shade of pink. I enjoyed the sight until Ace ruined the moment, whispering a little too loud, “Is barefoot and pregnant your new fetish?”
I pushed past him, shoulder checking him. “Asshole. Hey Bellamy, why don’t you take a seat at the table? We’ll bring the food.”
She looked between us, her plump little lip caught between her teeth before she released it. “If you’re sure…”
“I think three big men can handle carrying breakfast to the table,” Ace assured her. “Go, it will only be a minute.”
We all watched her ass as she left. It was perfectly round and was practically showcased in the pair of yoga pants she wore. Pregnant or not, she really had a cute little figure. A cute little figure that I shouldn’t be looking at because she was Adam’s wife and, well, let’s be honest, a decade younger than I am.
Than all of us.
Shit.
Sometimes I forgot how old I was. Nothing like reality to remind us that life isn’t infinite. So fucking unfair that life passes us by before we realize the importance of the moments we should cherish. Half my life is already gone, and what do I have? What memories do I hold tightly to my chest? Nothing but bad memories. Nothing good has graced me.
“You all seem cozy.” Adam broke the silence first, reminding us we all were standing a little too close when he stepped into the room.
“I’m getting mixed signals. Would you like us to keep the length of the kitchen island between us?” Ace responded, sarcasm dripping from his words.
“Nope.” He picked a plate up in each hand and turned. “It was only an observation.”
“What do you want from us?” Ace sighed. “We didn’t touch her. And even if we did, I think we’d get a pass, being you gave us permission.”
“Actually, I watched you touch her,” Adam pointed out, “and I’m not complaining.”
“She had marshmallow on her lip!” Ace groaned. “I hardly think that counts.”
“I want nothing from you.” Adam looked at the dining room. “Nothing at all.”
“You like her,” I observed.
“I-“ He paused. “I don’t.”
“Your growing affection is confusing you, isn’t it?” I pushed.
“No.” He denied it, and he could continue denying it, but the truth was clear. He was beginning to like the girl, and that made him uncomfortable. “I’m worried about the child is all.”
“You’re afraid.”
“I’m afraid of nothing.” His voice was louder than necessary, and I was positive she heard it in the next room.
“You’re afraid to feel.” I laughed, though it held no mirth. “Isn’t that fucking ironic? You got yourself in this position because you wanted to feel nothing but revenge, and somehow revenge is catching up with you.”
“Lower your fucking voice.”
“Or what? Afraid the ghosts that haunt us will hear?” I met his eyes, dark and stormy with the feelings and rage he bottled up. “You know… I think I’ve changed my mind.” When he didn’t ask about what, didn’t speak a single word as his eyes burned into me, I continued. “I think I do like her. In fact, I like everything about her. And maybe I’ll take you up on that offer… after all, I’m not afraid, like some people in this room, to have her palm on my skin.”
Did I mean it? I wasn’t sure. Maybe I was only trying to goad him. Still, he swallowed hard at my declaration. “I’m not afraid.”
“Then prove it.”
He looked down at the plate of food he had yet to carry to the table. “I- I don’t know how.”
“Then it’s about fucking time you learned.” I looked at Ace, who I knew desired her just as much as the rest of us. “And you too. It’s easier to put up walls than knock them down when the structure is sound and cemented into place. If she builds those walls, she’ll finish guarding herself because you’re too fucking stubborn to offer her the attention and care she needs. You’ll die alone. Lonely. Desperate. Miserable.”
“I’m already?—“
I cut Adam off before he could say a word. “You’re fucking miserable. You’ve convinced yourself of it for so fucking long that it’s your idle thought. It might as well be your identity. Five fucking years later and your heart still beats. You’re doing just fine.”
“I’m scared,” Adam whispered, and I’d never thought I’d hear that word from him. Not out loud. “Is this what Elizabeth would have wanted?”
Ace cursed under his breath as he stared off before bringing his attention back to us. “I’m pretty sure my sister never held a grudge.”
“It’s just?—“
“We’re making excuses,” Ace stated. “I’ve never shared a girl before. Just so we’re clear. I don’t think any of us have. I don’t want things to get weird and if you promise it won’t… then I don’t know… I might be in.”
“In for what?” I whirled around, locking my gaze with Bellamy’s big doe eyes.
Adam cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “Work stuff, Belle. Let’s eat.”
And when the conversation was over, where we stood regarding the girl was still so fucking grey in this black and white world.