Chapter One
LEXI
The ice crackled with rapid, heavy grinding as young skaters spun and glided along, not a care in the world.
A sigh escaped my lips as I listened, wishing I were out there with them. The words on the page stared back at me, and I realized that studying right now wasn’t going to happen. I closed the book and shoved it to the side.
I leaned back in my seat, watching them with smiles as bright as the sun. They were so excited to do something they loved. I missed that. So much.
“You’re still up here studying?” I looked towards the stairs, my best friend Hazel was glaring at me with her hands on her hips. Tall, wavy blonde hair, and with curves that went on for miles, she was every guy’s fantasy.
I pursed my lips, looking away, back at the youth skating. She came to sit beside me, a huff escaping her lips. “Lex, I love you. But you’re torturing yourself.”
"No I’m not. I was studying while waiting for you to finish your shift.”
A laugh escaped her lips, “Yeah, and I’m the Tooth Fairy. You’re taking advantage and coming with me to work every day so you can be near the ice.”
Can she blame me? The ice was my life for so long; I didn’t know how to function without it. Even if I wasn’t out there skating.
“I miss it.” That’s all I could manage, a part of me feeling bad for taking advantage.
“Look, I’ll talk to Dad. I’m sure he won’t mind you coming to skate during the off hours.” Her shoulder nudged mine, a grin appearing on her lips. “Hell, he loves you! I’m sure we can talk him into it.”
I sucked in a breath, “I don’t know...”
“You need to get back out there, or you’ll never be able to.
Becoming a registered nurse is great and all, but that’s not who you are.
You were born to compete. Everyone grew up watching you; you were one of the best skaters out there!
Don’t let your injury define you. Don’t let your past define you. ”
My belly fluttered at the idea of skating again, but the fear that slithered around my heart was too much. “I...can’t.”
She stood up, grabbing my bag and putting it on her shoulder. “You can, and you will. Let me handle it. Now we need to go before...”
The double doors to the rink banged open, and the Timberwolves poured out of the tunnel and onto the ice.
Uniforms of green and black carried broad-shouldered, swaggering athletes that cut through the arena like a pack of hungry wolves. Pucks began to ping off the walls violently, spraying flecks of ice against the glass as they broke into their first drill.
“Lex...we need to go.” Her hand latched onto my wrist, dragging me out of the seat, but we both already knew what was coming next.
Kayden.
He stepped onto the ice, all of his teammates coming by to give him a fist bump. Being the captain of a team as a sophomore was unheard of at SilverCrest, but he’d managed to do it. I had no doubt that if my brother were still here, he’d be right there with him.
42.
That was his number. It was displayed proudly across his chest and back, with a big C over it on the front.
He was strong, fierce, and dominated the game. He was everyone’s favorite person, but I absolutely, without a doubt, hated him.
And he felt the same way.
A smile graced his lips, but magically his eyes made their way to the stands, the blue of his gaze zoning in on me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Yeah, I definitely should’ve listened to Hazel.
The look on his face screamed I didn’t belong here. He knew it, and I knew it. I didn’t belong on the ice, as much as I wanted to. My brother always made me feel welcome, but he despised having me around. Like I was a bug on the bottom of his shoe.
I narrowed my gaze, and the moment I did, it seemed he took it as a challenge and a smirk lifted on his lips. It was like he knew something I didn’t.
Ugh, I can’t stand him.
Breaking eye contact, I turned to Hazel, who was not so patiently waiting on me. “Let’s go.”
“About time; you don’t need to be around that mess.”
I followed her down the stairs, listening to the players, their skates going back and forth across the ice.
When we made our way around and out of the arena, I was able to breathe again. It was like being near Kayden, near the ice, constricted my ability to breathe.
Why couldn’t I just let go?
Why couldn’t I just move on?
Because no matter how hard I tried, Kayden wouldn’t let me forget.
“So, what are your plans for the weekend?” She asked, knowing I had nothing to do, meaning I would have to succumb to her will to get me out.
“I’m going home.”
She stopped in her tracks, mouth wide open. “You’re going home? You haven’t been home in over a year.” Her brows turned inward, “What made you change your mind?”
A sigh escaped my lips, “Mom has a boyfriend and she wants me to meet him.”
“Whoa, that’s big. How do you feel about that?” I shrugged, sitting down by the big tree that was right outside the rink. Underneath it was a bench, which right about now, seemed like a pretty good idea. Temps outside were getting hotter, preparing for summer. It made the trek back to campus hefty.
Getting in a car was not my idea of fun, so I walked or rode my bike everywhere I could. Going back home though, would mean riding the bus.
“I don’t know. I’m not thrilled about it. Isn’t it too soon?”
She sat down beside me, her blue eyes showing concern. “It’s been a year since...since it happened. Some people only wait three months. I think it’s time.”
I kicked a rock with my shoe, “She’s moving on too fast. I’m not okay with this and I don’t want to meet him.”
She looked at all the people coming and going from the arena, and I knew she was thinking the exact same thing. “Then don’t go.”
I leaned back against the bench and crossed my arms over my chest. “She threatened me.”
Her head whipped around. “What? Has she lost her mind?”
“Yep. Said if I don’t go home and meet him, she’ll throw all of my stuff in the trash. All my trophies, everything I worked so hard for. She’ll throw it in the trash like it never existed.”
“Why is she being so harsh?”
“I don’t know. It’s like she wants to erase us and start new.”
“Your mom is a selfish bitch. She’s not the only one hurting.” A snort escaped my lips at her words, but the truth was, while she was acting badly, Mom was just hurting. She wanted to erase her pain just as much as I did.
“Alright, let’s go get some food. I’m starving.”