Chapter Nine
LEXI
Why did I let her talk me into coming here?
She bribed me with the World’s best fried pickles. Her words, not mine. Then proceeded to go to a bar I didn’t want to go to. She always had a way of getting me to do what she wanted, without much of an argument.
It wasn’t my scene and never had been. Unfortunately, I caved and now we were heading to Spades when I had a huge test coming on Monday that I needed to study for.
Why couldn’t I say no to her?
That and her dad promised I could be at the rink early to try and get back in my skates. No one would be there, so I’d have plenty of time to try. Knots formed in my stomach at the thought.
She pulled into an empty parking space. Spades was on a strip, and there were hardly any spots left.
“I thought you said this place wasn’t busy during the weekdays.”
She parked and turned off the car. “It’s not normal. I have no idea why it’s like this.”
Great. That meant there could be tons of people from campus. Sorority girls and guys. Possibly certain people I did not want to see from the hockey team. Ignoring everyone at the bar, we sat ourselves down in the seated area, opting for a quieter spot.
Josh from my science class came and took our order.
He was cute with short brown hair and eyes, a slim build, unproblematic and very smart.
He wanted to be a doctor. He was the type of guy I should date if I were to date anyone, because he didn’t come with a whole lot of strings attached.
He was easy to get along with and nice as well. The best part? He wasn’t an athlete.
And he’s got a fine ass, I gawked at him walking back to the bar to grab our drink orders. “Girl...I thought Kayden was the only one who could get your panties all up in a twist.”
My attention was brought back to the present as my cheeks heated and I slid in my seat. She laughed, and looked at the menu. “See, fried pickles. Told you!”
I shook my head. “Why are you taking me out so much? We normally do ramen or cook and watch television. You know, like good, lazy people do on a weeknight?”
“And I, your social friend, decided I wasn’t going to let you rot away this year. Jake wouldn’t want you hiding in a dorm, throwing yourself into books because the pain is too much. He’d want you outside socializing with others. Trust me on this. I love you. I want to see your smile again, Lex.”
It was much easier said than done. I sat back, my fingers tracing over the scars on my wrist. She didn’t know everything, and while I loved her too, I couldn’t share the darkest parts of my life with her.
The pain that made it almost unbearable to get up in the morning.
The fact that I couldn’t share my pain with the one person I should’ve been able to connect to, broke a piece of my heart I didn’t think I could ever get back.
I reached for the menu trying to figure out what I wanted when Josh arrived with a fresh basket of fried pickles and our drinks. The little girl in me was giddy like a kid in a candy store. Mom used to make these so much for us, but as we got older, things changed.
She changed.
Josh smiled at me, and I smiled back. “Are you ready to order?” I made a face and he laughed. “I’ll give you a few more minutes.”
“Thank you.” I said, grabbing a fried pickle, sticking it in the ranch, and shoving it into my mouth. Oh.My.God.
A moan escaped my lips and Hazel laughed. “Alright, I need a wet floor sign over here!”
I kicked her under the table, covering my mouth because it was hot. “Shut up.”
“No, please Hazel, repeat what you said.”
My breath caught in my throat, and my spine straightened. Kayden.
“Well, isn’t this interesting? Somehow we keep running in the same circles when we don't even run in the same circles.”
I glanced up, and one of Kayden’s friends was in a stare down with Hazel, which meant his gaze was completely locked on mine.
I wanted to scream. Being near him was not on my to-do list. I sighed, “What do you want?”
He slid into the booth beside me, his jeans squeaking against the vinyl, his shoulder pressed against mine. He grabbed a fried pickle and popped it into his mouth. He had some fucking nerve...those were MY fried pickles. I didn’t like sharing.
I moved the pickle basket away from him, a wicked smile playing on his lips. “Still possessive of those things, huh?”
I rolled my eyes and scooted further in the booth, trying to move away from him.
“It’s time to cash in on my favor.” His voice dipped low, as if he didn’t want the other two to hear.
They were locked in some kind of weird standoff, completely ignoring everything around them.
Dylan and Hazel had a one night stand a few months back, and ever since, they’ve been at each other’s throats.
I personally thought it was because they liked it more than they wanted to let on.
I have no room to talk. I obviously know nothing about the male sex because for the life of me, I could never get anyone to date me. Ever. Not that it was on my radar either. It would be nice to be acknowledged once in a while, though.
My eyes widened. “Excuse you?”
“You heard me.” His hand moved to my thigh and squeezed. Immediately, tingles shot up and into my belly.
What the fuck?
He was losing his mind. Hell, my body was losing its mind. I didn’t like Kayden. He was a bad fucking decision I wanted no part of. Apart from the kiss we shared at seventeen, I wanted nothing to do with him...
Spades faded away, replaced by the damp chill of my parents’ backyard shed.
My back was pressed against the wall, eyes looking up at the glow of the moon.
I was all alone, my parents inside with Kayden’s.
The family dinner was a regular thing in our house on Saturday nights.
Kayden and Jake were off in the house playing video games, and I needed some air so I came outside.
The heavy talk of college lingered in the air, and what I would do at school. My parents had been on my case about it for a while, since skating was no longer something on the table. My breath caught when a stick cracked, and as my eyes caught the gaze of him my body stilled.
Kayden did things to me I never cared to admit. He was the only one I’d ever wanted, but after being made a fool of time and time again, I realized it was all on me. He wanted to see me in pain, and I was too oblivious to recognize it.
“Why are you out here? Aren’t you supposed to be inside, keeping my brother company?”
I’d turned seventeen, that was one reason for the family dinner. We were celebrating, but it didn’t feel like that. It was more of a chance to grill me until I gave in, until I crumbled under the pressure of everyone I loved.
Kayden and Jake were a year older, already starting their first year of college. They’d left me alone in high school, and it was nice not being in the same building as them. Being able to breathe as I walked through the halls, knowing he wasn’t lurking in a corner, waiting to watch me fall.
He took a few steps toward me, my back still pressed firmly against the shed, refusing to back down. His gaze darkened as his chest pressed up against mine. My breaths were heavy, and I wondered if he could hear it above the sounds of nature in the distance.
He placed one hand on the shed, and the other on my jaw. “What are you doing?”
My heart hammered against my chest, and before I could protest, his mouth was moving against mine. It tasted like stolen gum and aggressive desperation. It’s as if he wanted this as much as, if not more than, I did.
It was hard.
Messy.
And oh so perfect.
Then, in the blink of an eye, it was over.
He pulled back, looked me up and down, whispered “Happy Birthday,” then disappeared back into the house.
I heard someone ask him before he closed the door what he had been doing outside. “Nothing important” was his response before he slammed the door shut.
My lips were bruised and my mind was completely fractured wondering why something so perfect could turn into a disaster...
My eyes blinked several times, bringing me back to the present and the fact that once again his body was in very close proximity to mine. I glanced at his lips, remembering and wishing that things were different. That we didn’t hate each other so much.
I looked at Hazel; she was watching us with a weird expression. Dylan cleared his throat, “Come get a drink with me. Why don’t you meet the rest of the guys real quick. Let these two catch up?”
She rolled her eyes, “Lookie there. Making excuses for the golden boy once again, huh? Fine. I’ll go with you, but only for five minutes.
” She glared at Kayden. “You hear me? Five minutes and you better not harm one hair on my girl’s head or I’ll cut your balls off.
” She met my gaze, “I’ll tell Josh to come back when the bozos are gone. ”
I clenched my teeth. I didn’t think she would leave me so easily, but she did. They both went to the bar on the other side of the room, leaving me at the hands of Kayden’s mercy. He moved out of the booth and went to where Hazel was sitting.
I released a heavy breath. Thank fuck.
“Why are you here, Kayden? You say you want nothing to do with me, yet you somehow keep showing up anytime I’m out? First the restaurant, now this? I’m starting to sense a pattern.”
He rolled his eyes, and damn if that man wasn’t the sexiest guy on campus. He was top tier in the looks department; too bad his personality didn’t match.
“I’ve got an idea on the whole parent side of things.”
My shoulders stiffened, and I bit my lip. That was definitely not what I thought he was going to talk about. “Do I even want to know?”
“It doesn't matter if you do or don’t. You’re going to come through on this deal because, as I’ve mentioned several times—you fucking owe me.”
I shook my head, “You’re being delusional. We were in Elementary School; are you seriously still bringing that up?,”
His gaze narrowed, “Yes.”
I took a deep breath and scanned over that memory. It was a silly bet, racing to the kitchen table. We were kids; so much has changed since then. How can he still be holding onto that? “It was so long ago.”
“And? I said you owe me. I also said it could come at any place and any time in our lives and you’d have to pay the toll. You can’t back out.”
I would love to kick him in the nuts right about now.
I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest. He really was still a child on the inside. “And why not?”
The next thing he said almost put me on my ass.
“Be my girlfriend.” Point blank, no explanation, nothing.
I was starting to think that he wasn’t okay.
He kept bringing up random things, and now this?
Girlfriend? What was he smoking? Kayden Daniel didn’t just ask someone to be his girlfriend.
If he wanted it, he demanded it. I’d never known him to have a girlfriend anyway.
He had fuck bunnies; that was it. He slept with a girl and discarded her the next day. No strings attached, no distractions.
“Be serious, please.”
“I am. Think about it. We “pretend” to be dating, act all smoochy around our parents and they’ll have to give up on the whole dating thing.
We’ve both made excuses not to come home.
We can say we got close after...what happened.
They’ve only been dating a few months; we can say we’ve been dating for longer, and that we are serious.
That we aren’t ending our relationship, no matter what their relationship status is.
They won’t want the embarrassment of their kids dating and being step-siblings. ”
I rub my hands over my face, not quite sure I’m understanding what he’s saying. “Whose bright idea was this?”
“Mine.”
“Bullshit. Why would you want to be so close to me? All. The. Time. Think about that, Kayden. You can barely stand to be in the same room with me now; what makes you think you can handle a fake relationship with your dead friend’s sister?”
Something flashed in his eyes, and I knew I’d pissed him off.
“Frankly, I don’t give a fuck what you want, Lex.
We are doing this, whether you want to or not.
Our parents do not belong together, and you and I are not going to be in each other’s lives for much longer.
Believe me, I don’t want to spend a minute more than I need to with a winey Princess, but I want to put all this shit behind me and this is the way to do it. ”
Wow.
I didn’t know what he was going to say, but that certainly wasn’t it.
Suddenly, I lost my appetite. I pulled out my wallet and placed a twenty on the table.
“What are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
I moved out of the booth and out of the bar. I noticed Hazel’s concerned gaze, but I shook my head, wanting to be left alone.
I’d walk back to the dorm. Screw this.
“Lexi, wait!”
I shook my head, continuing to walk even though I knew he was right behind me. He had some nerve. He seemed to think he was the only one in pain. The only one hurting.
I stopped moving when I saw the broken glass on the road, taking me back to the night that ruined my life...