35. Sara
Sara
Strident ringing yanks me out of a dead sleep. Once I reorient myself to my surroundings, the sudden tension in my muscles eases.
After our shower last night, Dante and I conked out in one another’s arms, too exhausted by the day’s events for much else. It’s the first time we’ve spent the night together and done nothing more than spoon.
Even so, Dante seems a little more distant.
He no longer treats me like a prisoner, but he’s also not letting me in.
And while I told him I loved him with no expectations, my chest still ached when he didn’t repeat the words back.
Lying beside him in his bed should have provided comfort, but instead, nightmares plagued me.
In my dreams, I’m tied to Dante’s chair on the fifth floor while he rips out pieces of my heart.
When I sag in my chains, still begging for his affection, he just sneers in disgust and walks away.
My stark loneliness tightens my chest even now. Relieved to be saved from my own subconscious, I fall back onto Dante’s lush pillows with a groan as the phone rings again.
With a sigh, Dante kisses the top of my head before sitting up. The early morning chill replaces his body heat, and I huddle beneath the black feather-down comforter.
His query is raspy with sleep. “What?”
If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine what it would be like to wake up next to him like this every morning.
Without phones blasting us out of our dreams, maybe he’d roll over and bite my neck, dragging his teeth down the valley of my breasts and past my stomach.
Then he’d burrow under the sheets, part my thighs, and have me for breakfast.
I sigh mournfully. Despite the man sitting right next to me, the daydream has never felt so far away. Dante may not hate me anymore, but I’m painfully aware of the fact that I declared my love to him last night only to be met with silence.
When I flip onto my side, I can read the tension in his bare shoulders. Alarm shivers over me as I prop myself onto an elbow. Noting my concern, Dante shifts the phone so we can both hear the caller.
“…Jeremy this morning when he came into the office. It’s all over the SilverTech security feed, and our people are working overtime to wipe the footage and track down anyone who might have seen it.
The building has been cleared out, but we’ll only be able to contain this for so long before someone calls the cops. ”
I cover my mouth with my hand while my heart pummels my ribs. Jeremy’s in danger. This is what I’ve feared all along. Dante meets my eyes with a silent plea to remain calm as he pushes the caller for more information. “What does he want?”
The other man laughs as if he finds the question ridiculous. “You, of course. He plans on making the Council national news unless you come and talk to him. Now, Argento.”
Enzo. The man on the phone has to be referring to Enzo.
We know the man’s been trailing us because he proved as much at the museum.
He probably also followed us to SilverTech when we met Jeremy for lunch.
Marco’s men are stationed outside our apartment in Brooklyn, so that only leaves the office as the point of contact.
“I’m on my way.” Dante’s already getting out of bed before he ends the call, and I follow suit, throwing on the clothes I left on the floor.
There’s still blood on them from Dante’s embrace the night before, but I don’t have time to change.
I jerk my jeans on and fasten them, spinning toward the door just as Dante blocks my way.
“You’re not coming.”
My mouth pops open, and I scoff. “The hell I’m not! He’s my brother!”
I attempt to shove him aside, but, of course, the big brute is immovable. I skirt him instead while my panicked thoughts scatter.
Shit, shit, shit.
This is all my fault.
If it weren’t for me, Jeremy wouldn’t be in danger right now.
I’m halfway across the room when Dante snatches me by the waist and hauls me up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Let me go!” I drive my elbow into his back once, twice, and twist my body until I’m coiled around his head like a boa constrictor.
The last time I practiced the handy little maneuver he taught during our lessons, we were a little more…
naked. Dante curses under his breath and nearly drops me, but I don’t let up.
With a growl, I flail and bite and scratch until he finally wrestles me onto the floor and onto my stomach, my arms behind my back, my face pressed against the hardwood.
“Your training is proving effective, at least.”
Straining, I jerk my wrists, but nothing happens. I kick my legs out uselessly, and in frustration, I knock my head on the ground. Dante’s free hand appears to cushion my skull from further abuse, and the slow breath I release contains the last of my patience.
“We’re wasting time.” I practically spit the reminder, but instead of letting me go, Dante merely grunts.
“You’re right. We are.” He pushes himself up and yanks me roughly to my feet without releasing my wrists. I cry out at the pain in my arms, but Dante merely marches me down the hallway to the elevator. As soon as we’re in the tight space, I drive my foot back into his knee.
“Cazzo!”
He stumbles backward but recovers before I can blink and shoves my face into the nearest wall.
Dante pins me from behind, and with his thighs cradling my hips, I can’t help but notice how perfectly we fit together.
On any other day, I might have pushed my backside against him, but right now, only Jeremy matters.
“Every chance you get, you make things harder for me.” My heart squeezes as he fists his hand in my hair and wrenches my head back. “I need you to trust me, just this once.”
I open my mouth to tell him that I do trust him, that I’ve always trusted him, but that’s only partially true. Because if I did, I wouldn’t be so terrified of him abandoning me again. I didn’t realize how much I was still clinging to the past until this very moment.
I can’t trust him to bring Jeremy back safely because I don’t believe with any certainty that he’ll come back to me at all.
My silence must speak volumes because Dante whips me around with his hand still buried in my hair.
I capture his wrist, gritting my teeth at the sting in my scalp.
His eyes darken and his mouth tightens with fear.
The last time I saw him this afraid, he was sitting on the side of his bed, his shoulders rounded as if waiting for a blow, his body shaking.
Even through that screen in the security room, his terror was tangible.
“I’m trying to keep you safe.” His voice thickens with emotion, and a corresponding lump grows in my throat.
A part of me wants nothing more than to let him tackle this burden alone. To be the one responsible if Jeremy gets hurt, so I can blame someone else.
But those aren’t the words I say.
“She called me that night. My mom. I snuck out to a graduation party I wasn’t allowed to attend, and I didn’t want her to know I’d gone, so I didn’t pick up.
She called three times. If I’d answered…
maybe she wouldn’t have gotten in the car to look for me.
Maybe she wouldn’t have died. Maybe I could have done something… ”
I trail off, my thoughts twisting like a corkscrew. I’ve relived that night a thousand times, desperate to know if I could have altered the outcome.
Understanding softens the hard angles of Dante’s face. I’ve never shared this before, could never bring myself to confront my own guilt, but openness exists between us now, along with a new, fragile path linking our souls.
The elevator comes to a stop and starts to slide open before I reach out and slap a hand over the button to shut the doors again.
A hot rush of tears accompanies the confession.
I’ve been practicing this for weeks, but I never get far without breaking down.
“But I was scared, Dante. I was so scared, after my mom died and then again after you ghosted me and those men showed up and waved their guns around. I didn’t know what else to do, and I had to take care of Jeremy. Can you understand that?”
First, confusion creases his brow. Then, his eyes widen with horror. “Sara, what…? I don’t understand.”
His fingers brush mine, but I yank my hands away. I need to spit this out before it chokes me.
“Jeremy and I rode a Greyhound to Toledo because I got a job offer there. We lived in a homeless shelter until I could scrape up enough money for a deposit on an apartment, but I never once stopped thinking about you. Even though you lied to me about everything and decided I wasn’t good enough to be a part of your real life.
Even though you were seeing other women at the same time.
I still don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me it was over, though.
Why vanish from my life and change your number?
Did you think I’d stalk you or something? ”
My confession comes out frenzied, finally released from the lockbox in my head. Tears paint a trail down my skin.
Dante’s features twist in pain as he cradles my cheeks, refusing to let me hide.
“Sara, no. That’s not true. I never showed the slightest interest in another woman while we were together.
Yes, I was dishonest about my last name, but that was for your protection.
The Council wouldn’t have approved of our relationship, and I wanted to keep you safe.
As for the rest, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Please, start from the beginning and tell me what happened. ”