CHAPTER SIXTEEN
BLOSSOM
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Though I didn’t want to look her way, I chanced a glance at Ivy. The look on her face was thunderous. For a second, she just stared at me from behind the register. Then she slowly cocked her head to the side.
“Please tell me you didn’t just call that motherfucker Romeo?”
I swallowed. Wait! I had told them about my Romeo and Juliet angle to get him to open up to me, hadn’t I? From the way she was looking at me, I was starting to think I hadn’t.
“Bitch, tell me you aren’t referring to our threat as Romeo,” she demanded.
“I meant to say Rome.”
“Oh, no. You meant Romeo. In your head, he really is Romeo to you, isn’t he?”
So, I had told them about the Romeo angle. Good!
“No. But I’ve referred to him as that so much that it’s kind of stuck with me.”
Which wasn’t a lie... technically.
“I’ve asked you this before,” Ivy said slowly.
“But I’m going to ask your ass one more time.
Are you sure you didn’t fall for that man during the times you were trying to get information from his devices?
I mean, you chatted with him for months while trying to sneak around his firewalls.
Please don’t tell me he slipped past your defenses and entered your heart. ”
“Of course not,” I sputtered, hoping I sounded convincing.
But the truth was, that man had bulldozed his way through all my defenses. Lately, he was all I could think about. I hadn’t expected him to respond to my hacking into his devices the way he had.
I thought once he figured out someone was trying to hack him, he would shut that shit down and make sure I could never attempt it again. Instead, he talked to me, responded to me. He taunted me, pricking my pride and making me feel the need to show him what I could do.
He created roadblocks that challenged me. He made me up my game, and I’d become a better hacker now because of him. I’d come to enjoy our lunch times together. Even though his lunch time was really five a.m. for me.
But I’d happily gotten up early, prepared my coffee, then climbed back into bed with my laptop and went on a hacking date with a guy I had no business getting close to. Yet, I had gotten close to him.
So close that I’d started sex chatting with him. I told myself it was all part of my plan, but I was only lying to myself. The truth was, I’d found ways to spend more time with him because I’d wanted more of him.
I know he was a cold-blooded killer, but he made me laugh. And I know I was supposed to be monitoring his emails for intel, but I enjoyed our hacking games. And I know I was supposed to stop once I was sure he wasn’t on to us.
And I had. But I was missing him like crazy. And from the way Ivy was looking at me, I could tell it was starting to show. She wanted to know if I’d fallen for him. No. I hadn’t fallen. I’d crashed.
And now the man I loved was back in the States, hunting for the person tied to what happened to Marcel. Hunting for us. And Ivy had the right thought. He was a threat. We should put an end to him. But damn it, I didn’t want to.
“Bitch, you’re in love, aren’t you?” she whispered.
I shook my head, unable to speak at the moment.
Ivy sighed. “I should’ve killed his ass the moment we realized he could be a threat. That’s my bad. I’ll have to live with that if this goes wrong.”
“Nothing is going to go wrong. And if it does, I’ll bear the blame.”
“Blossom...”
“I’m serious, Ivy. If anything goes wrong, I’ll bear the blame. I’ll pay the price. I need you to stay out of jail and off the Cattaneos’ radar because if anything happens to me, the Petals will need you to step up and take care of things.”
“You do realize that my way of taking care of things means stabbing it to death, right?”
Oh, right.
“If anything happens to me, I’ll have Dayana step up and take care of things,” I corrected.
“Yeah, she’d be better at it than I would. Just know, if anything happens to you, I’m going on a killing spree.”
“I’m telling you now, I don’t want that,” I told her, not wanting her to put herself in danger for me and my foolish heart.
“Fuck what you want. It’s what I’m doing.”
There was no getting through to her when she was like this.
“Nothing is going to go wrong,” I assured her, ready for this conversation to end.
“Seriously, though, Blossom, you have to stay away from him,” Ivy told me, her expression filled with concern.
“I mean it. Don’t hack him again. It’s not like the two of you can ever be together for real.
Not even as one of those weird digital couples.
What do they call it? E-dating? I think I saw someone call it nevermets.
People who fall in love but never meet. You and Rome can’t do that.
It’s too risky. You’ve got to let it go. Just... let it go.”
“I have.”
“Have you?”
“Yes!” I snapped, then immediately lowered my voice because I was irrationally getting worked up again. “I know I have to let it go.”
I really did know. I knew better than anyone what would happen if Rome found the wrong thread and followed it back to us. Back to Kelly. Back to this shop. Back to my mother. Back to me.
I knew how bad that would be for all of us. So... I was letting it go. Just like I was ready to let go of this conversation.
“I’m ordering the sandwiches now. I’ll get you your usual.”
Ivy stared at me for another second before finally nodding.
“Thanks,” she told me as she sat down in the chair behind the register and pulled her laptop closer. “I’m going to get back to working on the New York clearance issue.”
“Alright.”
I headed to our small breakroom. I sat down at the table and stared down at my phone. I didn’t place the order right away. I just sat there, mind reeling. Rome was back in the States.
Closer now.
Too close.
I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers against my temple as a headache started building behind my eyes. Why did life have to be so complicated? Ivy was right. We should end him. That would solve the problem.
No Rome, no investigation.
No risk of him finding the trail we were trying so damn hard to bury. No chance of him discovering Kelly’s part in it. No chance of him discovering any of us. One clean kill, and the threat would be gone.
That was the smart move. The safe move. The move I should be willing to make. Yet, instead of eliminating him, all I wanted was to talk to him. I wanted to hear his voice again. Not through the modulator. His real voice.
I wanted to know if he’d missed me. If he’d thought about me. If he’d wondered why I’d stopped sending messages. If he’d been tempted to hack me so he could send me a message.
Now that he was home, was he hoping to find me and make me his? Ugh! What the hell was I thinking? Opening my eyes, I stared down at my phone. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen for a man who could destroy everyone I loved.
A man who could turn my reality into hell. I never should’ve hacked him in the first place. I should’ve let one of the other Petals handle it. Taking a deep breath, I forced my mind off Rome and onto my lunch.
Unlocking my phone, I placed the order for Ivy and me. After lunch, I spent the rest of the day forcing myself to focus on work and not on the man who had us all on pins and needles. Unfortunately, thoughts of him followed me home.
That night, fresh out of the shower, I sat at the vanity in my bedroom. The scent of shea butter body wash clung to my skin as I rubbed lotion into my legs. I was dressed for comfort in black shorts and a pink t-shirt that read Anime Girly across the front.
My hair was pulled into a low ponytail that I'd wrapped around itself before covering my tresses with a pink and black bonnet. I was beyond exhausted and ready for bed. I’d gotten up this morning, thinking today would be a calm and relaxing day.
The appearance of Ms. Tina and the news she’d brought had ruined those plans. Sighing, I rubbed lotion onto my ankle as I allowed myself to think about the person I longed for. Here, in my bedroom, away from judging eyes, I was free to let myself think of him.
However, even when I was alone, guilt coursed through me when I thought of him and our situation. I felt guilty toward everyone involved. My workers, especially Kelly. She hadn’t meant for anyone to be hurt.
I felt guilty toward Ivy for all the times I’d lied to her regarding my feelings for Rome. I also felt guilty toward Rome. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He simply wanted to avenge his cousin.
I had to respect that. If our positions were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing. So would Ivy. So would all of us. Therefore, I understood his stance. The problem was that the answers Rome was seeking could destroy people I loved.
People I was willing to do anything to protect. If avenging Marcel didn’t involve the people I cared about, I wouldn’t be against it. But my people were my priority. I had to put them first.
Part of putting them first meant staying away from Rome Cattaneo. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The woman staring back at me looked tired.
Physically and emotionally.
Here I was, wanting to take care of everyone, wanting to protect everyone, when I could barely take care of myself properly. I sighed. I needed rest. A couple of days of just lying in bed, not having to worry about anything or anyone.
A vacation.
That was what I needed. Soon. Did Rome feel the same way? Was he in need of a vacation? Ugh. Look at me. Thinking of him again. I set my bottle of lotion on the vanity and glared at my reflection.
Maybe I wouldn’t feel so... conflicted... if I hadn’t ended things in an open-ended way with him. The last time we talked, I'd told him I was busy with work. It hadn't exactly been a lie.
Work had been keeping me busy. But that wasn't the real reason I'd pulled away. I’d done it so I could force myself to end things with him. I’d wanted him to move on. I’d hoped throwing myself into work would help me forget him.
I’d wanted him to stop looking forward to my messages. I’d wanted to stop looking forward to messaging him. I’d wanted to stop purchasing lingerie and outfits just for him and him only.
Unfortunately, keeping my distance wasn’t putting an end to the yearning. Though I hadn’t contacted him, I’d spent every day thinking about him. I had to find a way to get this man out of my head.
I needed to do something other than sit around, crushing over a killer. Standing up, I left the room to get my laptop. Once I had it, I climbed into bed. I would watch some anime until I fell asleep.
Propped against my pillows, I opened the laptop and immediately froze. Damn it, even my screensaver was punishing me. It was a picture of him. Rome. Kelly had taken the picture months ago while investigating the Cattaneo family.
In the photograph, Rome stood inside his Biloxi casino.
He was dressed in a black suit that looked sinful on him.
His height, his build, all of it made him look like the snack he was.
And the way he was standing there, hands in his pockets, glasses on, expression stoic... how could a girl not fall for him?
This man looked entirely too good for his own damn good. A smile spread across my face before I could stop it. I reached out and lightly brushed my finger across the screen. Those glasses made him look downright wicked.
A nerd with a body like that was exactly my type. Not only was he smart and sexy, but he was also funny. And sweet. And damn it, I wanted to talk to him. I missed our conversations.
Missed the way he'd challenge me. Missed hearing him laugh. I missed him. Period. Closing my eyes, I cursed loudly.
“Fuck!”
I wanted to talk to him. No. I needed to talk to him. At this point, it felt like I might lose my mind if I didn't. Before I could talk myself out of it, I logged into my account and pulled up our usual communication channel.
This was a terrible idea. I knew it. Ivy would kill me if she knew what I was doing. And yet I sent him a video chat request anyway. Immediately afterward, I deactivated my cameras.
There was no way I was letting Rome see me without my mask. I wasn’t that far gone. Then another thought occurred to me. Rome was a hacker. If he somehow bypassed my settings...
Nope.
Not taking that chance. I opened the drawer in my nightstand and grabbed a heart-shaped sticker from my calendar journal. After peeling it free, I carefully placed it over the camera lens.
Now, if he managed to hack the camera, he wouldn’t be able to see anything but the pink, hazy backside of a sticker. Next came the voice modulator. I activated the app and adjusted the settings I'd used a hundred times before.
Then I settled back against the pillows and stared at the screen, waiting for him to join me. My heart raced as I waited. Part of me desperately hoped he'd click the link. The other part hoped he wouldn't.
Because if he answered, I'd be right back where I started. Wanting things I couldn't have. Feeling things I shouldn't feel. Seconds ticked by. I bit my lower lip as I waited. He wasn’t going to join me.
I should log off. This was a bad idea anyway. Then a notification appeared on the screen. Rome had joined the call. Happy tears sprang to my eyes. He’d joined me. He wanted to talk to me just as much as I wanted to talk to him. I wiped my eyes, smiling like the foolish cyber-criminal I was.
Oh, how I've missed you, my Romeo.