Chapter Eleven #2
He leads me out of the room. I barely take note of the apartment layout, too lost in my own thoughts to focus.
Monster takes me into a bedroom and dresses me gently.
I’m helpless with these fucking mitts, so all I can do is brace my hands on his shoulders for balance as he helps me into panties and a bra, fastening the clip behind me, and then dresses me in jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt—both my size, albeit a bit baggy.
Finally, he sits me on the bed and kneels, pulling socks on my feet and slipping sneakers over them, lacing them up.
It's… strange, seeing him in this subservient position. He seems genuinely content to do this—dress me as if I’m a child.
Or maybe, he really is caring for me because I am precious to him, after all…
No. I can’t think like that.
“You’re going to see some guys outside,” Monster tells me.
“Most of them are working, working out, or fucking around in the rec rooms, but there’ll be a few stragglers around.
” He cups my chin, a gesture he seems to really enjoy, directing my gaze to his.
“Don’t speak to them unless they directly address you.
Even then, they should be going through me. ”
“Because I’m your property,” I murmur sullenly. Because I no longer have a voice of my own—Monster speaks for me.
“No, baby. Because you’re far too good for them—all of them. They don’t deserve to talk to you.”
“Yet you do?”
“No,” he says simply. “I don’t, either, but I’m a piece of shit who doesn’t let things like deserve come between him and the person he loves.
” He strokes over my bottom lip. “But I’m the only person who gets to talk to my precious Flower.
” His hand lowers to my collar, and he tugs at it a little to glimpse the scratches on it.
His lips thin, and he gives me a look steeped with displeasure.
I drop my gaze. “I don’t want to go out with these things on my hands.”
I can sense Monster’s surprise even without looking at him.
At any other time, I’d be leaping on the chance to explore, to figure this place out and find the weak points.
But with these mitts… anyone who I encounter will see me for exactly what I am; worthless property, collared like a dog with ridiculous mittens locked onto my hands.
“I’m not taking them off,” Monster says immovably. “You’ll wear them today, and we’ll discuss my conditions for you living without them tonight to see if it’s time for me to take them off.”
“Then I don’t want to go out.”
Monster tilts his head to the side. “Look at me and tell me why.”
I look at the wall instead. “They’re humiliating.
All of this is humiliating. I’m not a person, I’m just…
a doll.” Which is what my father forced me to be for the first seventeen years of my life.
He didn’t use a collar because he didn’t have to; I could always feel his control like a noose around my neck.
If I’d ever been stupid enough to harm myself, he would’ve tied me up and tossed me in the cellar.
“Look at me,” Monster repeats, his tone a bit firmer.
I reluctantly dart my gaze back to his. “This is not a punishment,” he tells me, squeezing the mitts.
“This is a precaution. These should tell you just how much I value you, because I will literally take no risks with your safety. I could’ve cuffed your hands behind your back, or just kept you drugged for a few weeks until you snapped out of this…
dark period. Instead, I ensured your hands couldn’t harm you—and that’s all I did. ”
“You’re reducing me to an invalid.”
“That’s not what this is. Someday, you’ll understand that.” He stands and takes my wrist, trying to pull me up from the bed.
I shake my head. “I don’t want to go. Put me back in the cell.”
“I’m not asking you, Flower. This isn’t a choice, it’s a command.” He purses his lips as he looks me over. “You’re not healthy, Scarlett. Sunlight and fresh air might be good for you.”
“Then let me—”
“No, I won’t let you go.” Monster’s temper is starting to flare. “You had nine months to look after yourself, Scarlett, and you didn’t. How often did you go on walks in nature? Let your skin get natural sunshine? Eat healthy meals? Did you do that at all, Scarlett? Ever?”
I don’t respond, but shame brightens my cheeks.
I wasn’t very good at taking care of myself.
I was in a rush to finish college after a mid-year transfer and get a job.
Then, I was up at the crack of dawn to be in the lab early, and only came home well after dark most nights.
Very little about my routine was healthy… but I was healing.
Or was I? Was I just… existing? Surviving?
No, surviving is what I’m doing right now. Surviving is dealing with the constant degradation and humiliation Monster throws at me, taking it all with a stiff upper lip.
“Come on,” Monster says. He’s no longer asking or being nice about it. His hold on my wrist tightens in warning. “Remember the rules.”
He leads me through a large apartment filled with countless rooms, and out into a hallway. It looks… different from the last time I was here. It smells different, too. I think there might’ve been work done on this building.
There’s only a single straggler in the hallway, a man who stops short and stares at me, wide-eyed. He notices my gloves, my collar, and gives me a look filled with so much pity it makes me want to throw up.
I stumble over my own feet. Monster wraps an arm around my waist, pulls me into his side, and glares at the other guy. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
The man straightens and clears his throat. “Yes, sir. Physical training.”
“Then get the fuck to it. Don’t gawk at my woman.”
“Of course, sir.” The other guy scrambles off, jogging down the hallway, and the true weight of Monster’s power around here hits me. Being called sir. Having people answer to his command.
“Who are you here?” I ask Monster.
He tightens his arm around my waist. “Second-in-command. A general.” He gazes down at me. “But there’s only one title I find I really want, Flower,” he murmurs. “Your man.”
I look away sharply, unable to bear the weight of his words and implications. He leads me to an elevator, which is thankfully deserted. A short trip down takes us to the first floor, which is vaguely familiar… though some things have changed.
High ceilings loom above, heavy with silence. Refurbished marble pillars are scattered about the main hall, pale surfaces broken with dark veins.
On either side of the elevator, several hallways branch out, leading deeper into the building.
Across from the elevator lies a set of reinforced steel double doors—a barrier that looks like it could withstand a nuclear war.
This space isn’t meant to welcome, it’s meant to shield and protect…
and remind every resident where they are and who they are.
There are more people here, a group of them lingering by the stone doorway, and all of them very pointedly avert their gazes from Monster, and by extension, me.
I’m grateful for the reprieve. Even though I despise him, I admire the power Monster wields with his presence alone. That sort of obedience is earned.
The men in Father’s ranks were always rowdy and testing limits and boundaries. Luther managed to keep them in line, but it took a lot of effort because he was a shit role model. A guy who beat his kids and threatened his men to stay in line.
It doesn’t look like there’s any need for threats here. Monster radiates the sort of authority Father could never mimic.
Monster leads me straight through the entryway, out the doors, and into the glaring sun.
The air is what hits me first; fresh, clean, filled with scents of grass and dirt and nature.
Then, the gentle breeze fluttering across my cheeks swirls around my senses, almost bringing a smile to my lips.
I gaze around the large field leading up to the annex, and the several paved roads that branch out in varying directions.
The buildings are scattered around, all of which look newly renovated.
I don’t get much of a chance to observe before Monster begins to lead me down a path veering left, away from all the buildings.
“We’ve contemplated expanding our territory and buying out more land,” he tells me.
“We’re discussing maybe having a stable with some horses.
Perhaps even cattle. Giving this place some recreation and self-sufficiency. ”
I don’t respond, but I do listen with interest.
“Max suggested putting you in charge of agriculture—if you’d like,” Monster goes on.
“I’d definitely like to do some farming here.
A lot of the time, the guys don’t have work to do, and that’s when they get in trouble.
Besides, it would be nice to eat produce grown right here.
But, if all you want to do is garden and experiment with flowers, that’s alright too. Whatever makes you happy.”
I don’t respond.
Monster glances at me. “You’re allowed to talk, Flower.”
“What is there to say?”
He shrugs, squinting up at the sun. “What would make you happy?”
“I don’t know what happiness is.” A startling revelation that I’m still trying to come to terms with.
Monster stops cold, forcing me to also stumble to a stop. His brows furrow as he turns me to face him. “What do you mean?”
I shrug.
“Scarlett.” His voice is sterner. “What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know what happiness is?”
“I’ve lived my life haunted and hunted by cruel men who wanted to take from me. I was battling the terror that my father would find me when you found me. Then, I was battling the terror that you or my father would find me. That didn’t leave a lot of room for happiness. It only left… survival.”
Monster blinks slowly. Sadness shines in his eyes. Not pity, but genuine sadness. Maybe even empathy.
He draws me in for an embrace, and for some reason, I go willingly.
I let him hold me even though my arms remain limply by my sides.
He rests his chin on my head. “Maybe we can learn what happiness is together, hmm?” When I don’t respond, he keeps talking.
“I haven’t really had the chance or desire to find happiness, Flower.
It’s always been one task, one job after another.
Life is an eternal checklist that you can never quite wrap up on time, isn’t it? ”
I go a little tense in his arms, because his words resonate deeply with me. Life is an endless checklist, and happiness has never been part of the roster—seemingly for either of us.
“I want my checklist to include our happiness,” he says softly. “Would you like that?”
“You speak as if it’s a possibility.”
“Anything’s a possibility, baby, if only you’re willing to make it happen.”