Chapter Twenty-Two
Scarlett
The next hour is a blur. Some guys come down to the annex, but I barely notice them—one of them tells me that they’re Monster’s unit, and they’ll make sure he’s taken care of.
Max is there, too, and he tries to take me back to the apartment while Monster gets medical treatment, but I can’t bear the thought of him going through this alone.
My arm prickles as I sit beside his bed in the medical wing, my emotions a pit of turmoil, my head buzzing with confusion.
I can’t seem to make sense of my thoughts and feelings right now, but there’s one thing I know beyond any shadow of uncertainty; Monster shouldn’t go through this sort of pain alone.
Being alone was always the worst part for me.
Being with him wasn’t much better… but I would’ve killed to have someone who actually cared about me beside me.
I don’t know if I care about Monster. I know I shouldn’t, that caring about the man who tortured me is wrong, but I can’t help feeling something toward him.
Something that’s much softer than resentment or anger.
There’s empathy, but there’s also something else that I can’t identify—don’t want to identify, maybe.
The doctors sedate Greyson, putting him in a deep sleep. Tobias, the one who sat with me after my arm got burned, is also here, sitting in a chair in the corner of the room and typing away on his laptop. We’ve never actually spoken; he strikes me as the quiet and calculating type.
“So,” Tobias says after about an hour of silence. “You’re the one.”
I blink slowly. “I’m sorry?”
“The one who Grey lost his fucking mind over. The one I had to spend hundreds of hours tracking down.” He jerks his chin at me. “You’re a smart cookie. Usually, it takes me less than an hour to find a mark.”
I swallow hard, shrinking back into myself. I didn’t realize I was sharing a room with the guy who’s the reason I got dragged back to this place. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have been comfortable with him watching over me when I got my burn. I’m not comfortable with him right now.
“You see this as a bad thing,” Tobias observes, cocking his head to the side. “Why?”
“Because I’m a slave here.”
Kind of?
Fuck, I don’t know what I’m supposed to think these days.
Tobias snorts. “The ridiculous number of diamonds on your neck say otherwise. Slaves don’t get gifts like that.” He returns to typing.
I watch him for several moments, once again feeling lost, as if I’m stuck in an endless desert without a compass or water.
“Could you please leave?” I ask Tobias.
He shakes his head. “Nope.” He nods at Monster. “That’s my general and commanding officer. I’m not going to leave him in a time of need.”
I turn my attention back to Monster. He’s face-down on the bed, which gives his back some room to breathe. I can’t even imagine the agony he experienced, what he will experience once he wakes up. Healing is a long, arduous, painful process—I know from first-hand experience.
I’m supposed to hate him. I’m supposed to be smothering him with a pillow right now. But after the sacrifice he made for me earlier, watching him be taken to the very precipice of death for my mistake…
“Cain is a piece of shit,” I mutter under my breath.
Again, Tobias snorts. “Yeah, no contesting that. But he’s a powerful piece of shit who’s a good fit to lead the Nighthawks.”
“Oh?” I question. “Is nearly killing your men really the mark of a good leader?” I barely refrain from adding idiot at the end.
“Yes. If Cain starts showing leniency, he loses the respect of the people he’s meant to lead and protect.”
“Protect,” I scoff.
“Correct.” Tobias isn’t amused by my snark.
“What do you think would’ve happened if Cain hadn’t taken action when you mouthed off to him?
The guys would’ve lost some respect for him.
Not enough for his regime to be threatened, but enough for that moment to be the beginning of his downfall.
Now, what do you think will happen when they see what Grey was willing to endure for you?
Because of his love for you? They’ll start believing in the claiming tradition a whole lot more.
After all, having a Chosen doesn’t just promise sex, it promises love and a partnership. ”
“And you think that’s a good thing?” I demand. “You think that stealing women from their lives outside, locking them up here, and doing whatever depraved shit you want to them is the right way forward? No, asshole. It just makes you sick abusers.”
“Do I think ensuring that Nighthawks stop losing their lives while chasing random pussy is good? Yeah. Do I think that it’s an environment that could potentially create purely abusive dynamics?
Of course. That’s why only worthy Nighthawks will have the opportunity to partake in this tradition, which will encourage others to conduct themselves better.
” Tobias narrows his eyes at me. “I created a very thorough file on you, Scarlett Sharpe. You were on track to be a PhD candidate, working for a cruel supervisor, with mountains of student loan debt you’d have spent the next forty years paying off.
You wouldn’t have been able to do what you love until you were in your mid-thirties—and even that would’ve hinged on you getting grants for your research, which is extremely difficult to do.
” He pauses meaningfully. “Greyson built you a fucking greenhouse. He’ll happily spend his days babysitting you there and watching you do what you love.
I’ve heard the way he talks about you; he fucking adores you.
Did he fuck up in more ways than one can count?
Sure. But, be honest with yourself, he was never really punishing you in that cell.
He was punishing your father. And today, he proved his loyalty and love. You’d be stupid to ignore it.”
He's… right.
God damnit, he’s right, and I kind of want to stab him for it. Tobias holds my eyes for a moment longer before returning to his laptop and beginning to type again.
“Even if what you’re saying about Mons—Greyson’s devotion to me is true,” which really isn’t an if anymore but an absolute, “that doesn’t mean that others will be the same with their Chosens.” I shudder at the very thought of what might happen if a cruel man like Cain ever got himself a Chosen.
“There are checks and balances in place,” Tobias says. “And I’m sure the… program will continue undergoing changes as it grows.”
“Program,” I scoff. “More like a circle of crime. Or better yet, a group of men ruining women’s lives, as they have since the dawn of civilized societies.”
“Is your life ruined?” Tobias asks, gazing at me with a penetrating stare. “Or is it finally just getting started?”
I have no good answer to that. Since he won’t go, I resolve to ignore him, but that leaves me with the options of staring at Monster or gazing at various, random items in the room.
And that’s exactly what I do for the next several hours, until I doze off in the uncomfortable chair, lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of Tobias’s fingers against the keyboard.
I’m only just nodding off when a low grunt awakens me. I snap to alertness instantly when a much louder groan of pain escapes Monster. His eyes are open and fixed on me; he’s trying to get up from the bed, but his raw back is preventing him from making progress.
I’m up and out of my chair in a heartbeat, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t move—you’ll tear your stitches,” I say, wincing when I see blood already seeping from them.
“Are you…” Monster cuts off with another grunt, eyes squeezing tightly. My chest aches at the thought of how much pain he must be in. “Are you okay?” he manages.
I give a small, startled laugh. “Me?”
“The… cell,” he pants. I understand his meaning without him having to say it; watching a torture session in the cell, even if I wasn’t the subject, was freshly retraumatizing. But I’ve endured enough trauma in my life that I’ve learned to roll with the punches.
“I’m fine. Please stop trying to move,” I beg. “Cain worked you over worse than he ever did me.”
“Diabolical… motherfucker.”
I click a button on the table by the hospital bed, calling the doctors into the room.
Tobias shuts his laptop and stands from his seat, joining me beside Monster.
“You’re thoroughly fucked up,” Tobias comments. “It’ll take you a good month to be back in working order, minimum.”
Monster grunts. “I don’t have a month to spare—”
“It’s not a negotiation,” I snap. “If you mess around with your health now, you’ll pay the price ten times over later. I understand you were born a man, which means you’re prone to being an idiot with a death wish, but please try to refrain.”
There’s a pregnant pause in the room as Monster and Tobias both stare at me, and the reality of what I’ve just said sets in. Monster’s lying in the hospital bed because I ran my mouth, and I just did it again. I really must be suicidal—
Monster releases a raspy laugh. “Alright, Flower. But I need some fucking pain meds.”
Right on cue, one of the doctors walks in, accompanied by a nurse.
I take a step back as the two men begin fussing over Monster, checking his wounds and administering pain medication into his I.V.
They must be giving him the good stuff, because Monster begins to relax, and the signs of strain on his face melt away.
“Flower,” he mutters once the medics are gone. “Go back to the apartment. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“To date, this is the most humanity I’ve seen from you,” I retort. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
At that, his eyes snap to alertness. He pins me with a searching look. “Why?”
Because you’re in that bed because of me, for me. Because I don’t know how to feel about you, but I don’t think I hate you anymore. Because there’s… something between us, whatever that might be.